Where Are They Going To Find The Time..?

Keir Starmer has said he is “up for the fight” of defending the “nanny state” as he announced plans to improve child health under a Labour government, including supervised toothbrushing in schools.

What are they going to drop from the national curriculum to shoehorn this in then? I bet it isn't going to be any of the diversity bollocks or the eco-brainwashing...

The Labour leader said that children were “probably the biggest casualty” of the Tories’ sticking-plaster approach to politics over the past 14 years, adding that, if the government were a parent, they could be charged with neglect.

Why not charge the actual parents with neglect, then?

Labour’s action plan includes a 9pm watershed for junk-food ads, banning vape adverts aimed at children, a free breakfast club in every primary school, better access to mental-health support, cutting waiting times for hospital care for children, and guaranteeing more dental appointments.

Might as well promise a pony for every child as well...