The Unspeakable In Pursuit Of The Unelectable

Politicians often feel like their heads are lodged in a lion’s mouth.

But the UK Independence Party (UKIP) has sparked outrage from animal activists after auctioning off the king of the wild cats to raise party funds.

Blimey! Where are you going to keep it if you win?

Of course, it’s long dead. And it’s actually a queen of the wild cats:

The skin and head of the lioness will be auctioned at the Eurosceptic party’s gathering in Eastbourne at the start of its annual conference.

Cue the OUTRAGE!

A spokesman for the UK charity Lionaid said it was “shocked, dismayed, appalled and above all saddened” by the news.

Are you sure that’s all? You left out ‘horrified’ and ‘traumatised’.

Don’t stop there, you’ve a whole thesaurus to get through!

He added: “This is in the worst of all possible taste. You don’t sell trophies onward, and the legality of that needs to be questioned.

“We will not accept UKIP profiting from trade in lion trophies.”

And who are you to tell a political party what you’ll accept?

The spokesman demanded the item be confiscated and an investigation to see how the trophy came into the UK.

Yeah, I’m sure they’ll get right on that…

Well, they might if the lucky winner decides to transport it home by car, of course!

Adam Henson Learns A Salutary Lesson…

…extremists don’t care how impartial you are. That’s what makes them extremists:

He said he thought the abuse was very unfair as he worked to BBC guidelines when presenting the programme on the controversial issue.

Oh, how surprising that the type of loon who threatens to burn your family alive over an ‘animal rights’ issue doesn’t think much of broadcasting guidelines, eh, Adam?

'My hands are completely tied on the issue. I cannot campaign for anything at all, simply report what is said on both sides.

'But this is a hugely emotive subject and we have to realise that there are extremists on both sides of the argument.'

Yes, but only one side is threatening violence to innocent people, isn’t it?

Maybe You Need To Question Why You Believe It's Any Of Your Business?

Fin Robertson, of animal welfare group OneKind, said: ‘The danger is he is a well-known personality.

‘If he’s seen to be glorifying and revelling in the death of an animal it’s going to send out a terrible message. He’s not a professional hunter and there is obviously a great risk the animal is going to suffer a painful death. Maybe he needs to question why he needs to play the role of a macho hunter.’

Yes, it's the bunny-huggers in OUTRAGE! mode over the news that property show frontman Phil Spencer has bagged a deer. And now the professional whingers are frantically gazumping each other to secure the headlines:

Louise Robertson, spokesman for the League Against Cruel Sports, claimed Spencer’s fans would be ‘genuinely upset’ by his actions.

She said: ‘I am shocked to see Phil Spencer in this role of bloodthirsty killer.

‘To allow a celebrity shooter to kill a deer purely for the entertainment of others is appalling.’

I rather doubt when Louise looks to move house she questions what her estate agent does on his day off, do you? And as a fan of Channel; 4's property-porn series, I have to say I don't give a stuff. He hunted it within the guidelines, and ate it afterwards. What's not to like?

And Elisa Allen, spokesman for Peta – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – said:

‘Anyone who can describe a blood sport as a “passion” and boast of a long-held ambition to stalk and kill defenceless animals should undergo a psychiatric evaluation to see if his or her mirror neuron, the one that allows a person to experience empathy, is underdeveloped.

‘It takes a small person to enjoy traumatising, hurting, and killing animals who are minding their own business, and perhaps Spencer does it in order to feel important or because of some other inadequacy.’

Interesting psychoanalysis there, doctor. While you're at it, can you perhaps tell us why PETA kills so many animals? And doesn't even have the guts not to lie about it?

And I have to say it's refreshing to see a celebrity in the crosshairs not panic and run:

But Spencer, who lives in Wandsworth, South-West London, robustly defended the shooting, saying: ‘I’ve been involved in different types of fieldsports practically since I could walk. It’s something I’m very comfortable about. It’s part of me – it’s my complete passion.’

So much for his 'lack of skill'. Perhaps the critics should have done their homework, maybe got a surveyor in to check their desirable purchase wasn't full of dry rot?

He added: ‘My dad is a farmer and I was brought up with country ways of life firmly in my heart. The deer culling operation I took part in was both serious and necessary – the farmer had had to completely abandon his harvest on two ten-acre fields of corn for two consecutive years because deer wrecked those fields, and he had already lost over £40,000.

‘I was asked if I wanted to help and taken out by an experienced deer hunter he employs on the farm. Around 100,000 deer are culled in the UK each year, not purely related to crop protection, but this is an absolutely necessary precaution against over-population. I took this particular animal home and it has since fed around 35 people.’

Spencer went on: ‘I’m sorry if killing such a beautiful animal is difficult for some people to stomach, but I would also hope that anyone who enjoys eating any type of meat stops to appreciate that their chicken, sheep, cow, pig etc also had to die in order to end up on their dinner plate – and almost certainly had a less fulfilling life than this wild fallow buck did.’

Good for you, Phil.

I'm Confused...

...I thought animals had a 'healing power', or something?

Dr Cronin said Dougie – who has starred alongside Hollywood heartthrob Johnny Depp in promotional shots for the Pirates of the Caribbean films – could carry and be susceptible to disease.

Are they worried about him giving a disease to the people at the nursing home, or worried he'll catch something from the nursing home?

Poole mayor Chris Bulteel appreciated Dr Cronin’s expertise, but said the three animals on show seemed to be well treated.

He added: “A lot of the people there were elderly and probably some were quite lonely, so it was great to see big smiles on their faces. I really think that animals can have a therapeutic effect.”

And given they are all elderly, what other chance would they get to see these animals? Even a zoo visit would be hard going for some...

Care home manager Janet Matthews agreed the booking after Amazing Animals featured on a television programme with Alan Titchmarsh.

She said: “Everybody clearly enjoyed the occasion and if it’s good enough for Alan Titchmarsh, it’s good enough for us.”

Good for you!

I'm beginning to think some people don't really like animals, as much as they hate people...

"We expected justice..."

You shouldn't have, then:

An animal rights activist who killed a fox hunt supporter by driving a gyrocopter at his head walked free from court today after being cleared of manslaughter.

Yup, it's this case. And if you thought that showed the animal rights loony-tunes for what they were...

During the trial, Mr Griffiths told the court he did not feel responsible for the death.

He said: 'I feel regretful about what happened. I obviously feel regret and sadness for Mr Morse's family.

'In my opinion this was something that could have definitely been avoided but given the fact he had been told several times to move out of the way, not only by myself and others, and had clearly been told the aircraft was going to take off, I feel that all the things that could have been done were done.

'I do not actually feel responsible.'

And now a court of law has decided that you aren't. But there are other courts. There's the court of public opinion, for instance, which has seen your incredibly blase attitude to the consequences of your insane actions.

I think that, at least, will treat you as you deserve...

And let's hope the Civil Aviation Authority takes a long, hard look at the actions of someone who has decided that, as long as the proper warnings are given, he's free to do as he likes, no matter the obstacles in his path.

By Their Words Shall Ye Know Them…

This chilling passage from the trial of gyrocopter pilot Bryan Griffiths sums up the ‘animal rights’ mob for the creatures they really are:

The video shown to the jury was cut at the point the propeller hit Mr Morse, then cut again to see him lying on the ground.

A voice can then be heard to say: 'Oh dear, the t*** didn't stand clear of it.'

There’s no indication whether those cold, inhuman and mocking words were spoken by the pilot or his (unnamed) passenger.

If the former, it rather gives the lie to his claim not to be an anti-hunt activist. If the latter, then assuming that the passenger is indeed one of those anti-hunt activists, it shows that they are not, and never were, animal lovers.

They are people haters.