Wednesday 14 September 2011

The Unspeakable In Pursuit Of The Unelectable

Politicians often feel like their heads are lodged in a lion’s mouth.

But the UK Independence Party (UKIP) has sparked outrage from animal activists after auctioning off the king of the wild cats to raise party funds.
Blimey! Where are you going to keep it if you win?

Of course, it’s long dead. And it’s actually a queen of the wild cats:
The skin and head of the lioness will be auctioned at the Eurosceptic party’s gathering in Eastbourne at the start of its annual conference.
Cue the OUTRAGE!
A spokesman for the UK charity Lionaid said it was “shocked, dismayed, appalled and above all saddened” by the news.
Are you sure that’s all? You left out ‘horrified’ and ‘traumatised’.

Don’t stop there, you’ve a whole thesaurus to get through!
He added: “This is in the worst of all possible taste. You don’t sell trophies onward, and the legality of that needs to be questioned.

“We will not accept UKIP profiting from trade in lion trophies.”
And who are you to tell a political party what you’ll accept?
The spokesman demanded the item be confiscated and an investigation to see how the trophy came into the UK.
Yeah, I’m sure they’ll get right on that…

Well, they might if the lucky winner decides to transport it home by car, of course!


Quiet_Man said...

Precisely, who the hell are Lionaid to tell anyone what they can do with their property providing they aren't doing anything illegal with it. The thing is dead, shuffled off its mortal coil, it is a dead lion...
Still good publicity for them I suppose.

Lynne said...

Well it started off as Loinaid, a self-help group for men suffering from erectile disfunction. But then they made the tragic mistake of employing a militant, animal rights dyslexic as a spokesman...

Ian B said...

Before that, they were LinoAid, a charitable group who helped poor people purchase basic floor coverings.

Uncle Badger said...

And prior to that Lemonaid - the support group for distressed citrus fruits.

Tory Aardvark said...

Lionaid is that anything like Koolaid?

John Pickworth said...

I thought LionAid had been swallowed up by Gatorade some time ago?

Battle at Kruger Park - as witnessed by 63 million viewers on YouTube (which was itself swallowed up by GooleAid)

English Viking said...

I have a polar bear head and skin in my basement, in pride of place. It cost Soooo much, but it was worth it.

I also have an 11 point stag's head. Shucks, just one off the jackpot.

I either eat, or wear what I kill. Just like God intended.

Unless, of course, they are either vermin, or a threat to a person, then it's just for fun.

blueknight said...

Wasn't the same lion from yesterday then...?

MTG said...

Crikey, EV. I wouldn't have thought you were the sort to mount animals in your basement.

JuliaM said...

"Well it started off as Loinaid, a self-help group for men suffering from erectile disfunction."

And with that, a thread of wonderment is born... ;)

" It cost Soooo much, but it was worth it."

I bet! I have a rather nice collection of antique African antelope horns, skull-mounted. They are awful dust collectors, but displayed in a group, impressive!

"Wasn't the same lion from yesterday then...?"

No, I would imagine - given he's a millionaire - he'll be going for a full body mount.

"Crikey, EV. I wouldn't have thought you were the sort to mount animals in your basement."

Did rather leave yourself open to that one, EV.. ;)

Hexe Froschbein said...

Lion? Bah, how boring. I want a polar bear skin as a prize.

Where will I put it? In a place like this of course:

English Viking said...