You won't see me coming....
A woman was left with a bruised eye after being hit with a parasol in Frinton.
In other news 'A man was slightly hurt by a remark made about the cut of his suit'
And the police are looking for witnesses, even though they've arrested and bailed a man. Puts the Tottenham riots in perspective. Could be a nice place to move to.
I still suffer from attacks of PTSD when I recall the terrible tale of the elderly lady who lost her footing when alighting from a bus in Todmorden. She was unhurt.Or indeed the dreadful business of the house which was burgled; a packet of 20 cigarettes was stolen.Local newspapers restore your awareness of the underlying banality of the universe.
I'm gob smacked!!!What if the victim had been a small child - especially one dressed like a Dickensian Oliver? Or worse, was a strippy Donkey or a cute fluffy kitten?I hope the brolly wielding thug is sent down for a very long time. Its the only way they'll learn.
He'll probably get banishment to Walton :)
He'll probably get banishment to Walton :)Hey, steady on... hanging and flogging is one thing. But there are limits.;-)
Fair point. Kirby Cross, then?
Kirby Cross, then?Best thing about Kirby Cross, given its proximity to Frinton, used to be the unusually demographically specific signpost to 'Clacton Common Shopping Village' - now, alas, changed to 'Clacton Factory Shopping Village'.Anyway, who cares, as long as he's ouside the Gates?
What no editorials on the "Dangers of parasols" on pages 5 and 6, an indepth of "The social ills of parasols" and the obligatory "Wont someone just think of the children" on pages 7 and 8, and a centrepage spread on "Parasols through the ages"?Any editor worth his salt could spin this out for weeks, by calling for a ban on parasols as the only use for a parasol is to hit people with.I propose a hate campaign against the Clacton firm Rubinstein & Abramowitz, manufacturers, service and suppliers of parasols and umbrellas to the gentry since 1854.With names like those, they're obviously a bit dodgey, and these purveyors of hate need to be shut down immediately. If it saves the life of just one child... etc...etc.
All in all, I'd rather be in Walton-on-the-Naze, which is as close to Heaven as Frinton-on-Sea is to Hell.WV: comiterm, which is one letter-and-a-bit away from Comintern.
"Hey, steady on... hanging and flogging is one thing. But there are limits." LOL!"...the unusually demographically specific signpost to 'Clacton Common Shopping Village'..." SNORK!"WV: comiterm, which is one letter-and-a-bit away from Comintern." Which, some might say, we are heading towards...
Tough on parasols,tough on the causes of parasols.Jaded
Post a comment