'Education, Education, Education..?'

Barely literate students with no GCSEs are being accepted onto university courses and being given thousands of pounds in taxpayer cash they will never pay back. As hundreds of thousands of first-year undergraduates arrive in halls across the ­country this week, a Mail investigation has ­uncovered serious abuses of the higher education system. Whistleblowers have told how courses are accepting students with such poor English that they cannot spell simple words, and who fail to attend classes as soon as they receive their first £4,000 maintenance loan and council tax exemption.

I guess we know where the next generation of 'journalists' is coming from... 

One source at a well-known ­university said they have seen instances of 'whole families' including elderly parents and grandparents enrolling on £9,250-a-year courses after being recruited by staff offering cash bonuses for new students. FA second academic claimed that one of their students 'who could barely speak English' openly ­discussed how he was using some of his loan to build a home in Romania, while another lecturer in London said there were 'huge concerns that some people are just scamming the taxpayer.'

I think it's more than likely most of them, not just a few... 

In a recent report, the Office for Students (OfS) warned of 'serious risks to public money' after ­finding that staff managing ­partnerships were 'incentivised' to prioritise student recruitment above course quality, with ­allegations that some institutions lowered entry requirements to meet targets.

Anyone with settled ­immigration status can apply to the Student Loans Company (SLC) for a loan to go to university – £9,250 a year for tuition fees and up to £13,000 for maintenance – and those from low-income households or with children can access thousands of pounds more in free grants.

Is this where the Treasury's 'black hole' originates? Why not call an immediate halt to this drain? 

Susan Lapworth, the chief ­executive of the OfS, said: 'We are concerned about the findings of this investigation. Where a ­university delivers courses through a franchise arrangement with another higher education provider it must ensure that the quality of those courses remains high.

'That includes making sure students recruited onto courses have the commitment and ability to succeed. It also includes ­making sure there are proper ­controls to protect public money.

Doesn't look like you're achieving that, Susan. Perhaps it's time you got your P45? 

'The OFS is working on these issues. We have announced ­investigations of some providers engaged in franchising and are taking steps to ensure all universities are properly gripping these partnerships. We will continue to work with the Department for Education, the Student Loans Company and others on these important issues, including to advocate for the powers we need to regulate effectively in this area.'

Why were you not given those from the start? 

Let The Coronation Fever Begin!

And the hastily-reworked packaging for the same old stuff is hitting the shops right now, so get out and BUY, BUY, BUY!

Bet they put the price up too. Designers don't work for free...

Update: It seems reader Ian J has found the tackiest thing yet made to celebrate the coronation:

It's not just my lack of enthusiasm for chocolate that makes me feel a little queasy...

Welcome To Rip-Off Britain!

Wayne Garland, who has been a Bristol taxi driver for 16 years, said the new fee comes with no benefits.

He told the Post: "We are paying money for nothing. If the station can't supply us with enough spaces then why have they issued so many permits? Temple Meads station is our main income. We have no choice but to buy the permits, but when we come here at the best times we are getting moved along by the authorities.

"We've paid our money and now where are we supposed to go? It just seems as though we are paying the money and getting less work."

The 47-year-old from Totterdown added: "It's just another money making exercise."

Gosh! You don't say?

Kenneth Lines, a taxi driver for 40 years from Brislington, said: "The police are turning people away.

"When you have to pay as much money as we do for a permit you expect to be able to park.

"They've asked for all taxi drivers to apply for this permit but they've given out more than there is space available. They're taking money under false pretences.

"They're money grabbing."

Yes. They are. Welcome to the real world.

What, did you think they'd sack their middle managers or their huge internal HR teams or their 'sustainable travel' division when things got tight? Dream on!

Some people welcome this, of course:

One motorist who regularly picks up a colleague from the station, but asked not to be named, said: "Just getting to the short-stay car park in front of the station can be a nightmare at times. Taxi drivers leave their cabs virtually in the middle of the road – this blocks the road for buses and other vehicles.

"Something needs to be done – taxi drivers aren't the only people who use the station."

They are the only people being charged extra for it though. Of course, I'm sure they'll figure a way to get charges to apply to you too, in due course!

First Great Western, which owns Station Approach, told the Post it was reluctant to make any improvements while the dispute is ongoing.

Dan Panes, from the train operator, said: "We acknowledge that there needs to be improvements, but until the judgement is made in the courts we cannot make any promises to improve the situation.

"We maintain that the permits are for hire on our premises. They are not paying to park here."

You can have a permit, at a price, just don't expect it to be of any use. Well, we are a nation of shopkeepers...