Why Does This Require 'An Investigation' In The First Place?

A Royal Parks Police spokesman said: “We’ve been dealing with a road traffic collision after the driver of a vehicle slowed to allow some geese to cross the road and a male on a bicycle collided into the rear of her vehicle and through the back window.

“The cyclist was taken to hospital, his injuries are not life threatening or life changing. The investigation is ongoing. Wishing the cyclist a speedy recovery.”

If I ran into the back of a fellow motorist, there'd be no investigation whatsoever; I'd be judged - rightly! - as at fault for tailgating. 

Why should it be different for cyclists? 

"...we know there is an inextricable link between Class A drugs and... "

"...the Metropolitan Police making absolute arses of themselves on social media."

Footage posted to social media by the force showed officers walking through Shoreditch, which has seen a spike in incidents where women and girls have been made to feel unsafe, and swabbing revellers to ensure a safe 'night time economy'.

Wait, what? How many miscreants did this overblown operation bring to justice? 

The force revealed that the operation on the night saw one woman arrested on suspicion of possession of Class A drugs after she was observed disposing of a suspicious package.

Ha ha ha ha ha! 

Predictably, their efforts to justify themselves in the face of the huge backlash that they then faced from civil liberties groups made things even worse: 

A statement read: 'The video posted by the Met on social media was filmed in Shoreditch during a 'week of action' supporting women's safety between Monday, 6 and Sunday, 12 December 2021.

'The Chair of the local Independent Advisory Group was also invited and was present to observe the operation.

'The use of the machine was a condition of entry, that condition being agreed with the licensees for that night. Anyone who refused was not allowed entry to the venues on that night.

It was made clear to those wanting to attend the venues that the swabbing was voluntary.'

Are you an idiot, unnamed spokeperson? No wonder you didn't want your name on that! Some weren't so savvy... 

Chief Inspector Grace Blake-Turner, from the Met's Taskforce, said: 'Officers attended schools and universities to talk about topics such as consent.. '

Like consent to a random search by a police officer abusing their powers for likes on Facebook...? 

There's Nothing New Under The Sun...

...even cancel culture:

Dr Tucker began his academic career after serving in the Second World War as a pilot, joining the museum in 1949 as a scientific officer in the department of zoology. He rose up the ranks and became a principal scientific officer in 1957.

However, when Dr Tucker was 39, his career came to an abrupt end. In 1960, he was fired for alleged insubordination, which stunned colleagues and sparked decades of speculation over his beliefs about Loch Ness.

The newly uncovered documents, from the museum's board of trustees, reinforce the view that his dismissal was down to his belief in the creature rather than concerns about his professional behaviour.

A memo issued to staff by the board in 1959 warned: 'The trustees wish it to be known that they do not approve of the spending of official time or official leave on the so-called Loch Ness Phenomenon.' The memo added: 'If, as a result of the activities of members of the staff, the museum is involved in undesirable publicity, [the trustees] will be gravely displeased.'

And indeed, they expressed their displeasure with ferocity worthy of any prehistoric predator: 

In a newspaper cutting from the time, held in the museum's archive, he is quoted as saying: 'I put the project up to the Natural History Museum. The museum does send out expeditions to collect specimens. But they didn't like the idea of a Loch Ness expedition at all.

'They refused me leave to lecture on the subject. Since I was sacked, they have banned me from the library. I had an international reputation as a zoologist. Now I'm like a struck off lawyer.'

Poor man. These days, of course, you can believe any barmy thing you like... 

I Really Don't Know Why You'd Think That, Amazon...

...since you delivered the one I treated myself to only last week!

More Like Inspector John Stribley, Please...

Inspector John Stribley said: “Racing on public road networks is an offence, and will result in us taking enforcement action.

“These activities can be conducted lawfully elsewhere, such as on private land, and we will not be tolerating the use of Hampshire’s roads for an illegal sporting event.

“We will deal with offences robustly, and take action wherever we have a power in law to do so.

“A Section 35 dispersal order has been authorised for the entirety of the weekend until 8am on Monday morning (December 20), and will be in place across the whole of the county.”

It appears the police received information about a planned unauthorised horse and trap racing event and took action to prevent it. One tried his luck despite this, and the good Inspector kept his word.

And it's amazing what you find when you look, isn't it?

Meanwhile, the force's significant presence in the area saw officers clamp down on a number of other offences unrelated to the racing, including:

One driver issued a fixed penalty notice (FPN) for driving without due care and attention.

One driver issued an FPN for driving without a seatbelt

One vehicle seized and one driver reported for vehicle tax offences

One vehicle seized due to not being insured.

Two drivers spoken to for not having a valid MOT

Two drivers stopped for excessive tinted windows

One driver dealt with for dangerous trailer offences

If only Essex Police were similarly pro-active...

H/T: i.r. jackson via email

Behind The Times...

Exciting news for the local paper's readers! 

Except...M&S closed its Andover branch over a year ago...

H/T: i r jackson via email

"Here, Write This Headline, You're A Fan Of These Books, Right?"

"Errr, sure boss..."

Sunday Funnies...

Oh no, they've rumbled us!

Happy New Year All!

And here's to 2022! It's can't be worse than 2021...can it? But then I recall I asked that question last year!

Normal service will resume on Sunday.

Absent Friends...

As we begin the countdown to say a grateful farewell to the semi-disaster that was 2021 and welcome in a new year full of promise and hopefully finally free of covidbollocks, please raise a glass with me to those we have lost:

Raedwald

Captain Ranty (Blog now sadly gone dark)

Unenlightened Commentary

Anna Raccoon

Dracunculus

Bystander, a sad loss to the world of profession-blogging.

Peter Risdon

Gone, but not forgotten.