Tuesday 27 August 2019

"What's Up, Skip? Shall I Call The Police?"

The area, which is less than two miles from Windsor Castle, reportedly has a problem with a specific gang which targets wild animals.
One resident said: 'Last month they kicked a seagull like a football in front of everyone. It died 15 minutes later...
'Anything that flies will be shot at — they've even killed swans.'
Absolutely disgusting. What are the police doing?

Oh. Hang on. It's the useless bastards at Thames Valley's patch, isn't it?
A police spokesperson said: 'Thames Valley Police was called at around 5pm on Wednesday to reports that a wallaby had been seen in a park in Allen Way, Datchet.
'The wallaby was safely recovered and is now in the care of wildlife experts.'
Yeah. Like I figured. Nothing.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wildlife experts? A flaming Wallaby? Wouldn't a zoo have been better?

On the other hand, Rolf could have helped:

"Watch me wallabies feed, mate
Watch me wallabies feed
They're a dangerous breed, mate
So watch me wallabies feed
Altogether now!"

Anonymous said...

Crystal ball working as usual Julia?
Jaded

MTG said...

Aah yes, Thames Valley Police. Perhaps there should be a police medal for displaying the valour, will and stamina to pick up a phone just to hear appalling accounts of animal cruelty and rampant thuggery.

However it may still be appropriate to award grade 2 or 3 medals since TV plod wasted no time in delegating all subsequent responses to the charity, Specialist Wildlife Services.

Hold the medals!...word is just coming in of another TV mass compensation claim. This time the federation is all out for post traumatic stress disorder payments. Don't you wish you were on this 'biggie', Jaded?

Anonymous said...

"The area, which is less than two miles from Windsor Castle.....".
Now, get out your pencil and compass and draw a circle on a map, the edges of which would be two miles away from Windsor Castle in the middle. What do you have? Green fields, a river, a couple of housing estates. Where would those criticising the Police place the officers, and for how long, in case someone decides to kick a pigeon?
Don't be shy, folks, give us all the benefit of your wisdom and tactical knowledge.
You can't, can you?
The Police don't always get it right, and when their actions are stupid, negligent, or inefficient, I am one of the first to comment.
Unless you have done the job, faced the lack of resources, you can't really criticise.
I don't always agree with Julia's comments, but I haven't, and can't, run a blog, so I can't criticise what she is doing.
As for the other cretins - you know who you are - we know you insult and berate because you get your rocks off, furiously masturbating, in your dark, squalid, little room, at the responses to your infantile squiggles. Grow up.
Penseivat

MTG said...

You lost your job through that unrelenting nasty temperament and were filmed in the cowardly act of beating up a handcuffed prisoner...or did chronic, artery-busting blood pressure finally deliver the Karma, Penise?

Anonymous said...

I'm claiming PTSD after reading Melvins utter crap on the internet for many years.
Self-proclaimed expert on policing without ever explaining where his vast knowledge comes from.He will answer my post once again with libellous and untrue comments about my time in the police, possibly in pompous Latin quoting way to show how much cleverer he is than everyone else.
Jaded.

MTG said...

Crikey...can anyone help me out with extra large Dinsmore net for these two beauties?

Anonymous said...

And there we are...a little later than expected
Jaded

JuliaM said...

"Wildlife experts? A flaming Wallaby? Wouldn't a zoo have been better?"

You'd think, wouldn't you?

"Crystal ball working as usual Julia?"

I don't need one. Maybe it'd help some, though.

"Where would those criticising the Police place the officers, and for how long, in case someone decides to kick a pigeon?"

Come off it! They'll know exactly who these yobs are.

They will just see the greater work it takes to nail them, and decide it's easier (and more likely to garner diversity points) to go harass someone posting stuff on the web.

"I'm claiming PTSD after reading Melvins utter crap on the internet for many years."

LOL!