"But there's no turkeys in the UK, Sarge?"
"There's peacocks, lad. And what are they but turkeys in drag?"
Residents in Henfield were stunned to receive a letter from Sussex Police asking for help in finding the birds, which stated they might be killed if located.
/facepalm
Officers say the fowl have been causing distress and inconvenience to some residents, damaging gardens and making excessive noise at all hours of the day.
Well, you could say the same of local youths with their antisocial behaviour, but all they get from Sussex Police is a chance to join the army...
Furious animal-lover and resident Tracey Collins said the peacocks have brought "so much happiness to our villagers" during lockdown.
"This has really upset most of the village, most of the villagers love to get visits from them and feed them when they come into the garden.
"We feel we have to save them and would love for them to stay local and wander freely. Pheasants are allowed to do this so why can’t our peacocks?"
That's a damn good point, isn't it?
And someone in Sussex Police farce has clearly realised that the looming PR disaster caused by this letter needs to be reversed.
Sergeant Tom Carter, wildlife crime lead, said: "These particular birds have been causing damage to the native environment and nature for some time now.
"We are in touch with someone who is happy to assist with this and offer the birds a safe home in the future and we are looking to achieve this as soon as possible."
Now you've been shamed into it, you mean?
4 comments:
Could be worse. At least Sussex is hunting down wild birds rather than acting like a Muslim Protection Squad like the Metropolitan Police did at Speaker's Corner yesterday.
Wow a police service dealing with a problem in the community! Now that's a thing I haven't seen for many a long year in my area.
Sussex plod have repeatedly warned 'criminal-type' birds against making too much noise and damaging property. Hang on, the same Sussex plod who earlier this year launched 'Operation Easter Egg' and upset the entire community with overzealous enforcement of early Covid rules? Gosh, it is indeed! Hatched and mobile, their new plumed targets would probably be more than a match for plods' shooting skill handicap and deplete the entire ammunition reserve of Sussex.
The final Plod Solution for a mass cock demise remains undisclosed. However given the propensity for Sussex to 'go overboard', nobody can rule out nocturnal aerial bombardment with sulphur mustard. Yet again, Plod launch themselves headlong into the news and have successfully increased interactions between local people at a time when the government is trying to minimise them.
P.S.
Just a timely reminder of the traditional message from Sussex chief constable, Jo Shitter: "Keep watching your speedometer...far better to mount the pavement than allow your concentration to waver for an instant, from the one truly great and magical instrument of road safety".
"At least Sussex is hunting down wild birds rather than acting like a Muslim Protection Squad ..."
I'm sure if I trawl back through my blog they've had their moments in that regard! What 'modern' police farce hasn't?
"Wow a police service dealing with a problem in the community! "
A safe one, that they thought wouldn't get them any flack. They chose...poorly.
"...given the propensity for Sussex to 'go overboard', nobody can rule out nocturnal aerial bombardment with sulphur mustard."
Oh, I think the outraged bird lovers have seen them off nicely.
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