Carl Clarke attempted to enter Brooklyn Mixer in Seel Street with a blade in his jacket, but was searched by door staff.
When the weapon was spotted, he left and ditched it in a car park, then returned and was let in, only to be arrested by police.
The 26-year-old denied possessing a bladed article and was due to stand trial last December, but instead went on the run.
As you do...
At his trial, Clarke was set to deny possessing a bladed article on the grounds his knife was shorter than the minimum required for the offence.
This month prosecutors accepted his guilty plea to the alternative charge of possessing an offensive weapon, which covers shorter knives, and breach of bail.
Looking at his record - yes, of course he has a record! - it's amazing he was granted bail:
Clarke, of Beechtree Road, Wavertree, has four convictions for three offences, including affray and breach of bail in 2015, when he was jailed for 13 months.
*sighs*
Judge Stuart Driver, QC, said: "The aggravating features are the circumstances in which you had the knife, attempting to get into a club in the early hours of the morning in Liverpool city centre, knowing that this would be premises with lots of young people in, many of whom would have been drinking and that's clearly a volatile situation.
"The second aggravating feature is your record, not a long record, but in the past you have served imprisonment for violence.
"In mitigation there has been a substantial delay, though you contributed to that yourself by being at large."
So...how is that 'mitigation', you bewigged idiot!?
Judge Driver handed Clarke eight months in prison, suspended for 12 months, a 10-day Rehabilitation Activity Requirement, Thinking Skills Programme and 70 hours of unpaid work.
He warned: "It's highly likely if I see you again, you will go into custody for eight months."
It's highly likely you'll see him again. Hopefully, it'll be in a dark alley one night.
