Unfortunate Typo Of The Month...

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From this story, where they've probably caught on and fixed it by now...

*sigh*

According to Angry Exile, the strange idea that you can appease those intent on genital mutilation of children by doing a bit of it yourself has made it down under: :

Australian doctors are considering introducing a controversial form of genital mutilation carried out on baby girls.

The Royal Australian New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RANZCOG) says the practice of "ritual nicks" could meet the cultural needs of some women and potentially save some people from drastic surgery.

Although illegal in Australia, female genital mutilation is common among some African, Asian and Middle Eastern communities but has been known to leave some young girls scarred for life when not carried out in proper clinical facilities.

As I said over there, say what?!?

Isn’t leaving young girls scarred for life the very point and essence of this procedure in the first place?

I can’t say it better than AE:

"So, for what it's worth, and speaking as a migrant who's also adapting to the way things are done in Australia*, here's my suggestion. If Australia is such a tempting place to come and live then it must also be worth giving up the idea that one somehow has a right to mutilate one's offspring and accepting the more western concept of the individual being free from the threat of a parent setting about their crotch with cutlery. But if mutilating children is more important then don't f****** come here in the first place, because if you're caught doing it we'll send you away for f****** decades, you sick f***."

Seconded!

Ostentatious Consumption

Rebecca Seal in the ‘Guardian’ on that tricky question of how to ensure that your barbeque is as eco-friendly as possible:

Last year, in spite of the dire summer, we hardy Brits had 120m barbecues, making us the barbecue capital of Europe, according to the National Barbecue Association. The "alfresco eating industry" is worth £7bn annually (presumably companies making rainproof gazebos and waterproof fleece are also doing well), but, unfortunately, few of us realise how environmentally unfriendly a traditional barbecue can be.

I think that ought to read: ‘few of us care’, don’t you?

Those who think an outdoor gas grill is the green solution are quick to point out that charcoal releases more than 100 times as much carbon monoxide as gas. But although it's true that gas is a more efficient fuel for cooking, charcoal is carbon neutral as it releases carbon tied up temporarily in the tree it was made from.

And we wouldn’t want to be too efficient, would we? Not when we can be less…

Most charcoal briquettes are made from hardwood culled from tropical forests that could do with being left alone. And they are also usually doused with firelighter solutions which can taint your food. The solution is to buy British lumpwood charcoal from sustainable sources, such as coppiced trees in managed woodland and forests.

Hmm, sounds a bit on the pricy side, doesn’t it?

Sarah Mooney from Bioregional, an entrepreneurial charity that sells British charcoal (available from Homebase and Sainsbury's, from £7 a bag), says: "Our charcoal has a more open structure than hardwood charcoals, so it doesn't need to be impregnated with lighter fuel. It burns for far longer so, although it's a bit more expensive, you'll use much less."

Yikes! £7 a bag! I should hope so! I'd expect it to go all night for that price.

Start your barbecue using twists of rolled-up newspaper, with the charcoal stacked on top, or natural firelighters such as those from If You Care (available from goodnessdirect.co.uk, 72 for £3.97), which are made from wood and vegetable oils.

Why not encourage people to rub two sticks (of sustainable British wood, natch) together..? Or would that be a health and safety risk?

You could also build your own barbecue using an oven rack and some old bricks, or an old oil drum cut in half – you'll have to weigh up the ethical points scored by not buying something new against less efficient cooking.

Mmm, weighing up ethical points. Yes, that’s certainly always on my mind when I’m planning a BBQ…

Rather than using paper plates, stock up on crockery from charity shops or buy palm leaf plates that biodegrade (25 plates, £11.99).

£11.99!!!

At this rate, I won’t be able to afford any food for this BBQ. Let’s hope that that’s not also an ethical minefie…

Oh.

Finally the food. There are far more interesting and ethical things to cook than cheap beefburgers, sausages, or Day-Glo chicken. Ben Spice, head chef at Acorn House and Water House, two of London's most environmentally friendly restaurants, suggests farmed tilapia fish or arctic char. "Unlike lots of farmed fish, tilapia is not fed dried fishmeal (which could have come from all sorts of untraceable, endangered fish), but sustainable organic matter. Similarly, farmed arctic char, a pale pink fish halfway between salmon and trout, barbecues well and is also fed on traceable fish meal. M&J Seafood is good for both."

They don’t say how much it costs, this time. I suspect I know why…

Both he and Henry Dimbleby, a restaurateur and founder of the Sustainable Restaurant Association, agree that squid is also a great choice. "It's the most sustainable fish at the moment, as we have overfished their predators and they're multiplying with abandon," says Dimbleby.

Thanks to our ‘green’ waste disposal efforts, so are rats and foxes. Want me to throw one of those on my barbie too..?

Seriously, who, other than neurotic Guardianista, can afford to concern themselves with this sort of thing?

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes And…

‘Daily Express’ this morning:

Allegations of cannibalism were last night refuted by senior investigators who said there was “absolutely no evidence” of such an act in any of the cases.

‘Daily Mail’ just now:

Griffiths, who was wearing a black shirt and navy blue jeans, appeared at Bradford Magistrates' Court and was remanded to appear at the city's crown court later today.
Asked to confirm his name he said 'the crossbow cannibal'.

That ‘D’oh!’ sound you just heard was the murder squad…

It Seems We’ll Have To Revise That Old Ronald Reagan Quote…

..it should now be ‘The nine most frightening words in the English language: I’m from the government a charity and I’m here to help’:

Patricia Faulkner and Dave Armitage built a run in their Colchester back garden for the squirrel they have named Squeaky.

Although he cannot climb trees, he is able to run about.

Squeaky has been with them for about seven years, but they are moving from Hazelton Road to a smaller home in Norfolk and had to call in the RSPCA as they will not have room for him.

And that’s when they first hit a snag…

The animal charity told the pair they had broken the law by keeping a wild animal without a licence and said Squeaky would have to be put down.

Bet they weren’t expecting that, if their only experience of the RSPCA was those heartwarming ads and ‘Rolf’s Animal Hospital’…

If they defy officials, they could face prosecution.

Well, naturally! The RSPCA aren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, are they?

This couple came to them for help, but who cares about that, when there’s a target to reach…

Ms Faulkner, 50, who works as a medic on film sets, said: “I can’t believe they would want to get rid of him.

“It’s like they are the Royal Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Animals, except squirrels.”

I wouldn’t assume, going on their past history, that they are necessarily any better with other creatures.

RSPCA spokeswoman Katy Geary confirmed the couple had unwittingly broken the law by keeping a grey squirrel, as a licence was required under restrictions laid down by Natural England.

She said it would also be illegal to release Squeaky, in the knowledge that he was not fit to survive in the wild.

That means the RSPCA’s only option, other than to put him down, is to find a sanctuary which does have a licence to keep squirrels.

And god forbid they try to do that. It might eat into their bereaved-relative-hassling time and money…

The restrictions are tougher than for many other species as moving grey squirrels into certain areas of the country could put native red squirrels under threat.

Ms Geary said: “It is a bit of a legal minefield.

“It is one of these cases where people are doing what they think is best to care for an animal, but technically they are breaking the law.”

Well, after all, we wouldn’t want to encourage people to start thinking they could care for animals themselves, would we? No, that sort of thing’s best left to the profressionals.

Quote Of The Month

This month, we have Ross at Unenlightened Commentary to thank for this quote on the Labour leadership bunfight:

"So far today I've seen that Miliband is to challenge Miliband for the leadership of the Labour Party, over at CiF I read a post by David "Son of John" Prescott about said contest, Fiona Miller (Alastair Campbell's partner) writing about education policy, rumours about Ed Balls offering to stand aside for his wife Yvette Cooper in the leadership race and read stuff on this Labour supporting blog by Will "son of Jack" Straw.

I've seen Austrian cellars that have a less incestuous vibe than the Labour Party. "

Post Of The Month

This month, Patently's superb summation of what it is to be a Libertarian vs one of the Righteous.

Nothing To Hide, Nothing To Fear..?

A police team descended on a troubled snooker club in Benfleet – and tested 80 people for drugs.

Officers spent an evening at Rileys, in the High Road, following concerns about non-members trying to get in and cause trouble.

Wow, 80 people tried to get in to this club?

During the raid they swabbed the hands of 80 people to check for traces of cocaine.

Two of them tested positive and were searched, but no drugs were found. The pair were turned away from the club.

Ah, I see. They didn’t swab the hands of people trying to get in to the club and cause trouble at all. They swabbed everyone.

Why did they think they could do that?

Sgt Mark McQuade, of Benfleet police, said they had been invited to the club to help the owner keep the troublemakers out.

Good grief! There's always one, isn't there? Actually, these days, more than one.

Hmmm. Wonder if they swabbed him and his staff too?

Mr McQuade said they were now hoping to carry out similar operations at licensed premises across the rest of the borough.

Why not? The door’s been opened after all…

He said: “We have to get the landlords on board with it and sometimes the brewery, and if they are happy for us to do it we’ll go down there. It’s always good for the residents and customers that they feel a bit of peace of mind because we are there.”

Mmm, it always makes me feel safer when the police start swabbing everyone around me for drugs rather than deal with the few troublemakers….

I Thought This Was One For Mark Wadsworth...

...but sadly, it turned out to be his leg instead...

The 'Mail' Has The Important Facts...

..of the case of the suspected new serial killer:

The man charged with the Bradford prostitute murders attended one of the leading private schools, it has emerged.

Off to the 'Express' to see if they lead with how much his house is worth...