Yet More Zoological Fun At The 'Mail'...

I always wondered what a baby rhino was called!

It's The Unique Way It's Funded...

Journalism, folks...!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

I'm glad to see neither Don Johnson not Bruce Willis made the cut, but then their efforts were considerably better...

Yes, I do have their albums!

Post Title Of The Month

I think Anna Raccoon might just as well have this award in perpetuity:

Quote Of The Month

LegIron on the modern 'Eat no XXXX' trend:

"Nowadays medical research focuses on single issues. Salt, sugar, fat… these are irrelevancies. By the way, did you know that if you don’t have enough sodium in your diet your body takes it from your bones, making them brittle? The zero salt diet will make you die like a washed up jellyfish. Something modern medicine seems to want to happen.

None of it matters. Burn more calories than you eat, you lose weight. Eat more calories than you burn, you gain weight. It’s really no more complicated than that.

I guess there’s no research money in the obvious answer."

Post Of The Month

Fahrenheit211 has the measure of Jeremy Corbyn....

Save Us! Save Us From The Tyranny!

It’s 10.30am on a Monday and already the smell of cakes is wafting towards your desk. The colleague, who usually does a spot of baking over the weekend, has been up all night making cupcakes and an email has just flown around about their latest goodies. Later in the day another email pings into your inbox, this time it’s an update – there’s still some cakes left and also sweets have been purchased. The treat table, where confectionary congregates, is now overflowing. Someone has even been to M&S and bought a Colin the Caterpillar cake.

Wow! Can I come and work in your office?

If this sounds all too familiar then you might be interested to hear that last month professor Nigel Hunt, from the Royal College of Surgeons, argued that cake culture is fuelling obesity and dental problems.

Oh oh....

Warnings like this may seem alarmist or even exaggerated...

No! Really?

...but cake culture at work has certainly grown in recent years. Gone are the days of the occasional birthday sponges, and our offices are starting to look more like patisseries. This comes at a time when we are facing a national obesity crisis: the UK is on track to have the highest obesity levels in Europe.

You clearly never heard the phrase 'correlation is not causation', did you?

Arguably you don’t have to take the snacks, and, as an adult, you should be able to say no.

*nods* Indeed so. End of problem?

What’s more, some people (myself included) simply do not have the willpower.

And....that's other people's problem how, exactly...?

We are teaching ourselves bad habits at work, and it’s time to break them. We’ve rallied against turkey Twizzlers in school, the fast food industry and ready meals – so why do we ignore the rising amount of cake and sweets that are filling our workplaces?

What's this 'We'..? I can't say I've ever rallied against it.

It's a free country. Want to eat Turkey Twizzlers? Go right ahead!

Instead of bringing your colleagues cakes, urge them to get up from their desk and go for a break. If your energy levels are crashing you probably need a screen-break rather than a snack. What we need is less work on our plates, not more cake.

Anyone urging me up out of my desk for some State-inspired calisthenics is dicing with death...

"'Ave You Got A Licence For That, Mr Sabatier..?"

Caroline Shearer set up weapons awareness charity Only Cowards Carry in November 2012 after her son, Jay Whiston, 18, was stabbed to death at a house party in Colchester in 2012.

She said swords, meat cleavers and extreme knives cause additional problems in the fight against knife crime because so many deadly weapons are already available in homes.

She said: “Zombie killers are really, really bad, but when you look at it, over 53 per cent of stabbings are with knives from people’s kitchens.”

Well, quite!

Mrs Shearer said websites should only be allowed to sell the weapons for legitimate reasons.

While martial artists might have grounds to buy a sword, she believes other weapons such as blades made to look like credit cards, sharpened earrings and umbrella swords have no legitimate purpose.

Lots of things have 'no legitimate purpose' but people collect them. Why even bring this up, if knives are everywhere? After all, it's not like we could ever prevent...

Oh.

She said: “I really believe all knives should be licensed. That way if someone is carrying one there has to be a reason.

“For example, if you are a fisherman you may need to have a knife, but that would be licensed.

“The licence fee would then fund the education the kids need. That’s what I would like to see.”

*speechless*

Totally Barking!

OK, we all remember Barking and Dagenham's flirtation with doggy do DNA analysis, don't we?

In a drive to reduce dog mess, people who fail to clean up after their pets will see them shamed with canine photofits, or “pugshots”, put up in public places and published in a council newsletter.

DNA taken from samples of dog faeces will be issued to create a computer-generated image of the offenders. Key information taken from the samples will include gender, coat texture, length and colour and nose and eye colour.

*boggle*

The council has spent £5,000 informing residents about the scheme, which is expected to fund itself as owners must pay to have their dogs DNA registered.

I can't find, anywhere, any news on how many fines have been issued (never mind actually paid).

Silly Season Gets Better Every Year...

A woman has started a petition to bring in legislation for dangerous cats after her Nan was left in hospital after being attacked by a cat in her own garden.

Yes, you read that right. I know, I had trouble with it myself...

Norfolk Police were informed of the incident but no action was taken.

A spokesperson for the force said: “No criminal offence was committed and the issue was not something for the police to resolve. We advised the caller to speak to the landlord and try and resolve the problem through some kind of mediation.”

You misspelled 'medication', I think....

Ms Crowe said: “I just want people to sign the petition so we can get something similar to the dangerous dog act. If I kicked a cat I can get prosecuted but even though that cat bit my nanny nothing can done to the cat or the owner.

“I don’t want it put down or anything. I just want it assessed by the RSPCA and re-homed somewhere away from elderly people.”

I want people like you put in the stocks for public ridicule, but I suppose I'll have to swap them for the local paper...