Straight Outta Compton APILN…

A pregnant Greenwich mum claims her kitchen is unsafe after a “massive” cupboard fell off the wall injuring her child.

The local paper snap (so beloved of APILN) of her and her brood that adorns this (non)story just has to be seen to be believed…

Helen Jackson, 34, lives in Stanley Close with her two children, Courtney, 11 and Ben, six. A resident of housing group Hyde, she claims Courtney could have been killed when a three foot cupboard came crashing down.

I dunno, Courtney looks like quite a sturdy lass…

Her son Ben, who has learning difficulties (Ed: Don’t they always..?), was five at the time of the incident at the end of the last month – the day before they were due to go on holiday.

So, you didn’t miss your crockery that much?

Ms Jackson, who’s seven weeks pregnant, added: “I lost all my cups, glasses, crockery, they were all in there. Now I'm living with paper plates and plastic cups.”

She has been trying to resolve the issue with Hyde as soon as she returned this week, and after fears her other cupboards were unsafe she removed all the doors.

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Nope. Me neither.

The stay-at-home mum added: “They want to glue the broken corners and put up brackets.

“I don't want brackets, I want a new cupboard. It doesn't matter what it looks like, it needs to be safe for the kids.”

Well, don’t overload them then!

But a spokesman for Hyde said: “It was clear that the cupboard could be safely re-secured to the wall with appropriate wall brackets. We returned to complete the repair but have, to date, been refused access by the resident to do so.

“We apologise, however we believe that the cupboards do not need to be replaced and are safe. We are happy to arrange for a surveyor to carry out a further inspection.”

Just let the man in to sort your brackets, love. There’s no compo on offer so you might as well give it up…