Perhaps That’s The Issue – There Should Be Judgement, Just Not Of The State Of The House…

Kirstie knew it was time to ask for help, but she was scared. "I was so embarrassed," she says. The mother-of-three's house in Ipswich had got out of control after a traumatic event left her bedbound. "I had a stillborn baby girl in May 2022 and I had to carry on for my other two children but every day was a struggle and I spent months in bed," she explains.

There are pictures, and they aren't the worst I've ever seen, no dead decayed pets, rodent droppings or unwashed dishes, but still.... 

Every surface of the house was covered in clutter and one of the three bedrooms was out of bounds because it was full of broken furniture, so her six-year-old son and nine-year-old daughter had to share a room. The dining room was full of baby items like a crib and bouncer and pram that Kirstie could not bear to look at.

Is she single? No, Reader. But he's not much use either.  

"Both myself and my husband Stephen really struggled with our mental health and we couldn't keep on top of the house," she says.

So, what to do? Well, the answer's obvious isn't it? Breed again!  

The NHS worker conceived another baby but it was a high-risk pregnancy, leaving her anxiety "through the roof". She started having therapy at home, but a visiting nurse struggled to find space to sit down.

/facepalm 

When their baby son was born, Kirstie knew it was not the ideal environment for him. After a week in the neonatal unit, she worried about bringing him home. They looked into decluttering services but they were too expensive for her and her husband, who works in a supermarket.

"I took some photos of the house and I was so nervous, I was shaking, but I showed the leader of a baby group I went to, who got in touch with a health visitor who referred me to the charity Dora Brown," the 37-year-old says. The Suffolk charity has a team of 80 volunteers who transform homes, free-of-charge, for families living in crisis.

Ten volunteers pitched up at Kirstie's house in June and "got stuck in". They sorted everything into piles of items to be thrown away, kept, recycled or given to charity. They gave them more storage and took away their rubbish and even their dirty laundry, later bringing it back and putting it away.

Cleaned, one assumes... 

"When you're really depressed and really overwhelmed, these things feel like huge, insurmountable tasks. I was just trying to get through each day. "It was such a positive experience and there was absolutely no judgement," she says.

I can't help but wonder if maybe that's the heart of this issue. 

The charity, which has a waiting list of families needing help, hopes to expand across England, but that depends on funding and for now it is "small but mighty" with six part-time staff.

It does seem as if it's a genuine charity, not one of the many fake ones that are simply fronts for government propaganda or sinecures for ex-politicians, but still...