Sunday Funnies...

When you hire a beta male to write no. 2...

“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”

Well, damn.

My blogroll is in 'Missing Man Dragon' formation today.

I Don't Suppose You've Thought About Getting A Job?

Samantha Morgan, 48, from Hove, and her two children are currently living in temporary accommodation but have been told by the council that they are not able to find them a permanent place of residence.

They are currently staying at The Wardley Hotel in Hove and their rent is being paid for by social services.

 No it isn't. We, the taxpayer, are paying.

Ms Morgan said: “I am on benefits so I had no way of getting a private house and the only reason I went private at first is because I had to leave London."

She said she had leave due to problems in her life there and for her own safety and had no choice but to rent privately.

And then not pay the rent. Of course.

“I then ended up with rent arrears from the private accommodation that I knew nothing about until an estate agent came to see me at the property, ending up with me being given an eviction notice.

You 'knew nothing about it', eh?

“This is what made me and my family homeless and I then took myself and my children to the Brighton and Hove City Council for help as I have no family or friends I can live with.

“They then put us all in temporary accommodation in Hove, saying it could take up to 18 months to re-house us and we have been here now for five months for them to tell me they cannot help or house me and my family because I made myself intentionally homeless.”

That cheer you hear is the long-suffering taxpayer...

Ms Morgan said she was told by the council to contact social services because her 16-year-old daughter, Brooke is still a dependent and also on a college course that has two years left before completion.

Her daughter was told by social services that she may now have to either go into foster care or live in a youth hostel called The Foyer.

Ms Morgan said: “It is completely wrong to make a child go and live on her own when she has a loving mother and a brother to help her grow and nourish her, which they are taking away.

“My 19-year-old son Callum and I will be on the streets because they will not pay for us to stay in temporary accommodation.”

Get a job, leech.

And We Know Who Those 'Some People' Are...

An Australian school has adopted a policy allowing male Muslim students to refuse to shake hands with women.

Well, that's helping them contribute to society. But wait! It's not the school's fault!

A spokesman told the newspaper: “The Department of Education require­s its schools to recognise and respect the cultural, linguistic and religious backgrounds of all students, with the intent to promote an open and tolerant attitude towards a diverse Australian community."

You idiot! This is not doing that, is it? Even a top Muslim cleric thinks you've gone too far!

Former Islamic Council of Victoria secretary Kuranda Seyit said the hadith "shouldn't apply in a school context".

“Students should be able to shake hands with the teacher or the principal, or receive a greeting from a visitor to the school," he told the paper.

“Some people take it too seriously.”

And I'm beginning to wonder if they aren't the bigger enemy....

"She fall down, go boom!"

Eren Hussein, 53, blamed dim lighting at the world famous Soho club after breaking her wrist and elbow falling down stairs after a party in 2012.

She wanted thousands in damages, but after a civil trial this week, a judge threw out her claim, saying the fall wasn't the club's fault.

On what grounds?

Judge Heather Baucher QC said Mrs Hussein was intoxicated, obese, wearing shoes with high platform heels, and not taking care by holding the bannister as she descended.

"In her inebriated, obese state on three-inch platforms, that would be an obvious, simple step for anyone presented with what they saw as a hazard," she said.

/applause

H/T: wiggia via email

Just Another Day On Canvey...

Officers from the emergency response unit were called to reports of an ongoing domestic incident at a house in Point Road, Canvey,

A 25-year-old man had allegedly hit his 63-year-old dad before officers arrived.

 Lovely!

When police turned up to safeguard the people inside the property, the pair turned on them.

Which is why police hate domestics.

PC Alfie McPhilimey, from the Castle Point and Rochford local policing team, received minor injuries during the incident.

He Tweeted: “We arrested a violent male who decided to assault me and six other colleagues.”

Wait, what? Seven against two? FFS! What sort of police were they?

We Can But Hope...

West Yorkshire Police is today (20 February) hosting a conference focusing on Dangerous Dogs.

The event is being held at West Yorkshire Police's Carr Gate Complex at Wakefield to raise awareness about dog attacks and the impact upon victims as well as identifying opportunities for promoting responsible dog ownership and improved partnership working.　

Sounds important.

There are a number of key speakers throughout the day including Merseyside and Cheshire Constabularies, Royal Mail, the National Health Service and Guide Dogs and Sergeant Stewart Dunderdale, the West Yorkshire Police force lead on dangerous dogs.

Members of the audience include local authorities and groups from the charitable sector including the RSPCA and Dogs Trust.

Gosh, I wonder why they felt they needed this sort of....

Oh. Right.

Locals had expressed concern over the dog and yesterday West Yorkshire police confirmed they had seized the animal, a bitch called Alex, on June 22nd as a suspected banned pit bull terrier.

But a spokesman said: “It did not have enough pit bull characteristics to be held as a banned breed. It was returned.”

*sighs*

A Council Scheme, Not Properly Thought Through? The Devil You Say!

A cash-strapped council is set to start issuing on the spot fines to dog walkers who do not have a ‘poop scoop bag’.

To, one presumes, little old ladies. While scruffy yoof walk their pitbulls with impunity.

Members of the public are also being encouraged to take pictures of offenders using their smartphones and upload them to the council website.

That's going to fall foul of privacy and data protection laws so fast it'll make your head spin!

H/T: Alf Stone via email, who commented: "There's no truth in the rumour that the enforcers will be called Sh*t Trackers And Sh*t Inspectors - STASI for short." 

When Running To The Local Paper Backfires....

Sam Holland, of Elm Road, Leigh, was travelling home from London at about 9pm with his legs resting on the seat.

A man ordered the 31-year-old to take his feet off the seat, despite Mr Holland pointing out they were not touching the fabric.

Mr Holland said he was bemused by the man’s attitude because there were just seven other commuters on the carriage.

So..?

I'm unaware of any unwritten rule that says it's OK to put your dirty feet on the seats if there's below minimum people in the carriage?

He said: “A few minutes later he came back and pulled my legs off the seat.

“He was looming over me and I felt I needed to stand up. I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong. I started to speak to another passenger about the situation and then I was hit.”

General disclaimer here, violence is - of course! - not the answer, and blah, blah, blah...

He said: “Since it happened I have read story after story about people dying from a single punch. I just want to use this opportunity to say: ‘I didn’t die but I could have.’”

What a terrible loss it would have been to the world, eh, Sam?

British Transport Police (BTP) investigated and seized CCTV footage. However, the footage did not work and officers then interviewed the man, who said he was acting in self-defence.

BTP told Mr Holland the man will face no further action because he claimed he had “reasonable excuse to act in the way he did.”

 *laughs*

Mr Holland said he wants witnesses to the November 15 incident to come forward.

He added: “I just want to highlight that this is just not a nice thing to do to somebody. I just see it too often- there are too many angry people on that line.”

Yes there are. Because of inbred scum like you.

At the time of writing, there are 161 comments. Virtually none have the least shred of sympathy.

And those that do...

And then a lot further down, we find that Sam's only recourse hasn't been the local paper. Like the ignorant self-absorbed little manchild he is, he's put his story on FaceBook. 

And it makes him look even more of a See You Next Tuesday, and I didn't think this was even possible!

Oh dear...

Oh! That Didn't Go As Planned!

Mosley was ordered to serve a minimum term of 30 years for the killing of Mr Smith, of Potton, Bedfordshire, but today took his bid to clear his name to the Court of Appeal.

His lawyers argued that violence between the families outside Cambridge Crown Court during the trial may have skewed the jury's view of the case.

Police had been unable to control those who congregated outside, resulting in what the trial judge described as "pandemonium".

John Black QC, for Mosley, today argued that the chaos in the street was enough to make the jury's verdict "unsafe".

Hmmm, a convincing argument?

But rejecting the appeal bid, Lord Justice Simon said, if anything, the jury were likely to have been prejudiced against the Smith family if they saw what happened.

LOL!

H/T: CJ Nerd via email