Police Vacancies: Only Qualified Telepaths May Apply…

Police allegedly marched a rape victim who had been found crying in the street at 1am to a cab firm, and then made her pay the fare home.

The woman, said to be an executive who earns £70,000 a year, had been at a party on a Thames boat and was spotted by passers-by, slumped on a south London pavement.

Hmmm, crying in the street, partially clothed, at 1am, apparently unable to say ‘Excuse me, officer, I’ve been assaulted’. Do I suspect drink might have been taken..?

And what possible extra value to this story is the fact that she earns £70,000 a year? ‘Executives’ can act and behave like drunken, out-of-control sluts too. It isn’t a condition reserved just for teenagers from Romford on a hen night!

The woman reported the incident, which took place on 4 July, the next day but investigators fear important forensic evidence may have been lost.

A senior source said: 'It should have been clear that she may have been sexually assaulted. To top it off, they put her in a cab with another strange man.'

It ‘should have been clear’…? Why, exactly? With mindreading skills like that, the ‘senior source’ would be better of getting a gig at the London Palladium!

‘Senior’ source, eh…? I suspect he has no idea what some of our streets are like for his pavement-pounding colleagues at 1am.

The Met insisted the officers who were asked to help the woman were unaware she may have been raped.

Well, of course they were! You only have to read the police and ambulance blogs to know just how many women (and men) think that a brilliant evening is getting so blotto you stagger around the street unable to speak coherently or control your bodily functions – sadly, in some areas, this woman’s state would have been utterly unremarkable.

And that’s the crime here – not the failure to assume the worst on behalf of two police officers who’s only crime is that they aren’t blessed with psychic ability.