Tweet Of The Month

Post Title Of The Month

Also on the topic of Scruton's hammering by the establishment, here's Tim Newman:

Quote Of The Month

Al Jahom on Johnny Mercer's non-apologetic apology:

"...it would appear I am being criticised here for not being an intellectual scholar. I must again point out that I profess to be none of the above, and neither would I want to be. I would also gently suggest the nation has perhaps got enough MPs from this stock already.

No no… you are not being criticised for not being an intellectual scholar. You are being criticised for being a virtue-signalling halfwit, who leaps to condemn an intellectual giant on the say-so of your thicko mate, and then seeks to spin your arrogant, emotional conclusion-jumping as ‘with the best of intentions’ and therefore somehow morally elevating."

Post Of The Month

A dual turn this month, on the subject of Brexit. First up, North Northwester. Hot on his heels, it's Bucko.

The Useful Idiots Of 'Tell Mama'...

Errr, yes. We've heard of it. But it doesn't sound like you have, if you think they were white....

Ummm, who wants to tell him?

Well done! How's he going to wriggle out of this one?

Oh.

Well, it makes sense that a liar, rabble rouser and idiot would ignore the facts, shamelessly change tack when called on it and refer to the organisation that gives new meaning to the word 'mendacity'...

This Blog Goes All The Way Up To Eleven!

Eleven years, that is...! Cake for all!

"The cake is a lie!" 

And a day off for me! Normal service will resume on Tuesday.

It's Nuts!!

No, really!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Where's AC-12 When You Need Them..?

I know it's Essex Police, but really..!

Sunday Funnies...

RogueLeader23 really bears watching - is he a serial killer now?

It's One Way To Keep Out Undesirables...

Skysea Caravan and Camping Site in Port Eynon, Wales, has banned six breeds - pit bull terriers, Staffordshire terriers, Rottweilers, Dobermann Pinschers, huskies and bull/English mastiffs.

Seems pretty sensible, especially in light of recent events.

The move sparked a massive backlash on social media over the weekend, WalesOnline reports.

Translation: A bunch of bored keyboard warriors and single-braincell-morons decided to comment of Facebook that this was mean to little doggie-woggies...

Wearily, the site's PR manager patiently explained that this was based on cold, hard reality:

A spokesman for Skysea Caravan and Camping Site said: "The ban was put in place because we had three incidents in the last two years involving certain dog breeds - two of those involving incidents with another dog and one incident involving a young person.

"We are not judging dog breeds, it's not a personal attack, we understand that any breed of dog can bite. However, the effects of these particular breeds of dogs if they bite can be catastrophic. We don't restrict any dog breeds from walking through and using the footpath by our site.

"We have had positive feedback from this decision, all of the terms and conditions are fully explained on our website before you book online."

But there's no arguing with dog lovers.

Paul Watson, from Durham, said he had been thinking of staying at the campsite, but wouldn't be going there now.

I imagine the staff are high-fiving each other at this news, Paul!

He said the Skysea Caravan Park rules were "ridiculous" and it should be either dogs, or no dogs at all.

When you have your own caravan site, Paul, you can make your own rules. Until then...

Stuart Walton, from Tamworth in the West Midlands, has a campervan and travels to various campsites in the UK and France with his 14-year-old Staffie and four-year-old French bulldog.

Last year, he travelled to Tenby but is planning a trip to the Gower this summer. He has struck Skysea Caravan Site off his list.

Another sad loss. More than made up for by parents who would like to leave their holiday with as many kids as they arrived with, I'm sure...

You Must Have Had A Lot Of Botox To Say This With A Straight Face, Prof!

Cosmetic clinics will begin assessing patients’ suitability for Botox in an attempt to spot those whose desire to alter their appearance is due to mental health problems.

Well, yeah. There's a lot of it about.

...the NHS’s top doctor claimed that the cosmetic industry was doing too little to stop those with body image obsessions undergoing potentially harmful treatments.

The NHS is struggling with this too.

“Cosmetic firms bringing in tighter controls to protect young people’s mental health is a major step forward,” said Prof Stephen Powis, NHS England’s medical director.

However, he added, the new measures do not go far enough.

They never do, for people like this, do they?

“Voluntary steps on their own mean mental health too often will still be left in the hands of providers operating as a law unto themselves.

“Appearance is one of the things that matters most to young people, and the bombardment of idealised images and availability of quick-fix procedures is helping fuel a mental health and anxiety epidemic.”

Yes, it's quite an epidemic, isn't it?

Hey, Teachers, You Do Realise You Can Have More Than One Email Address...?

Constant emails from “aggressive” parents are becoming “unbearable” for some teachers, a survey suggests.

The poll indicates seven in ten teachers have had their email addresses passed on to parents, leading to the unreasonable expectation they are available at all hours.

Of these, 90 per cent said this had been done without their permission.

So, just don't answer them? But no, it seems they are too scared to do that.

One teacher said: “The expectation in the school is that a reply to all emails will take place within a reasonable timeframe, if it is from a parent, and if there isn’t a reply then a senior leader gets involved and there is a reprimand that teachers should reply to parents ASAP.”

The answer to this is simple. If you've been daft enough to give them your real email address, and not a dummy one you've set up for the purpose, then start billing them for the time you've taken when off duty to answer it.

They'll soon stop!

NASUWT general secretary Chris Keates said: “Teachers are not just facing the intrusion of those who manage them into their private lives but there is now an unreasonable expectation that they are available at the convenience of parents.”

Giving teachers a school email address would make it clear they aren't.

I Thought Ignorance Was No Excuse..?

Former Bournside School pupil Millie Bywater, 19 and Golden Labrador Quorn were told they were not welcome at Revolution in Bath on Saturday evening.

She had just arrived at the nightspot with her sister Jade and friend Lauren Clarke when the manager said dogs weren't allowed in the George Street premises.

Quorn is a guide dog.

Her mum Becky phoned the bar and she said the manager apologised, telling her he was going by what his previous boss instructed him.

So the previous management were also clueless?

Seriously, in this day and age, how can anyone be unaware of the laws permitting guide dogs entry?

"Yes, it's enshrined in your legislation, white devil..."

So maybe a few more prosecutions and a few less 'accepting apologies' is in order?

A Sad Loss To The Painting And Decorating Trade...

On Thursday, the mum-of-three brought work to a halt after attempting to stop BT workers from fitting wire to the 25ft stucture.

But when cops warned she risked being taken into custody, painter and decorator Ms Griffiths was forced to back down.

The Wirral woman says she has had enough and is set to rent out her home so she can go back to live in Egypt.

Gosh! Well...

It's About As Effective As The Real Thing...

The new bobby, named PC Morrie by staff, arrived yesterday and now stands guard in the window of the supermarket in St James’s Street, Brighton.

Helena Sherriff, duty manager at the shop, said: “I’ve been on holiday for a few days and he suddenly turned up this morning.

“He’ll be here for the foreseeable future, acting as a deterrent for antisocial behaviour and shoplifting.”

Probably is, too. Better than the real thing, even...

So Close To A Darwin Award....

...but sadly, she's already reproduced:

Mum-of-two Zoe Louise Sarjeant, 27, of Daisy Fields, in Thornton, fractured her neck in the high speed crash and died at the scene.

She did not have a driving licence, was not wearing a seatbelt and was over the drink-drive limit when she took off in an Audi A4 after spending the night and early hours of the morning drinking at her home with friends.

Bring on the chavshrine!

Many have paid tribute on social media, as well as placing flowers and notes at the scene. Some even etched messages into the tree itself.

Of course! How better to memorialise this waste of oxygen than by vandalising a living thing?

One friend posted an emotional tribute on Facebook.

Remember when 'tributes' were for people deserving of them?

She said: “It just hasn’t sunk in yet from finding out yesterday that one of my closest friends had passed away.

“Zoe you had everything ahead of you you didn’t deserve any of this at all. Just showed you need to live your life to the max.”

How'd that work out, love?

“It’s left both of your babies without their mum, who was an amazing role model and did everything she possibly could to give them a happy life.”

Except 'stick around'...

Hey, There's This Thing Called 'Investigation'...

...you'd be surprised how well it works!

At around 12pm on Tuesday 16th of April an off-the-leash dog, reportedly a Dalmatian, was seen attacking another dog in Tilgate Park.

The owner of Ollie, the dog being attacked, had to intervene and physically drag the Dalmatian off.

According to the owner the lady in charge of the Dalmatian allegedly did nothing but shout its name.

They never do.

She then apparently said: ‘I’m a professional dog walker, I know what I’m doing’ before walking off with the aggressive dog still off the leash.

/facepalm

And of course, the police were their usual professional selves:

The police were notified but as there was no information on who the lady was, no further action could be taken.

Really?

A Facebook appeal for information was started by Tilgate Councillor Francis Guidera the following morning and someone has already come forward with information which may be very helpful and will be passed on to the police.

Gosh. If only the police had tried that new-fangled concept of 'asking the public', eh?

Gangsta School...

A teenage thug who stamped on the head of a schoolboy in a classroom has been told to...

Leave and report immediately to Borstal?

...address his issues.

Oh.

The 14-year-old appeared at Basildon Youth Court yesterday after taking part in a gang attack on a train before the incident at school.

The boy, who lives in the Southend borough but cannot be identified for legal reasons, admitted two counts of assault following incidents on September 7 and January 22.

Not an isolated incident, then? It never is, is it?

Stuart Cowen, prosecuting, said the incident in the classroom saw him force a pupil to the floor and begin kicking him.

Mr Cowen said: “He began kicking him and could be heard shouting ‘if you chat **** about me, you get banged’ whilst the victim was holding up his arms trying to block him.

“He then lifted his foot and with considerable force slammed it down onto his face.

“A teacher managed to get a hold of him and take him to the far corner where he continued to shout ‘he chatted **** about me, he’s gonna get banged’.

Note, this is Essex. Not Compton, LA.

Lorna McLeod, mitigating, told the court the 14-year-old was with a carer and had been improving.

Christ! What was he like before?!?

“He is very remorseful.”

*rolls eyes*

Elizabeth Hunter, chairman of the bench, said the assaults were “nasty incidents” and handed the boy a six month referral order, meaning he must see a panel to help him not re-offend again.

The only surprise here is that Lenient Leigh wasn't involved...

When Your Bullshit Story On Behalf Of Your Client Is Destroyed In Open Court...

Elizabeth Aisbill, mitigating on behalf of Beasley, said he was extremely apologetic. He had been burgled two months ago and believed he was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, and had the dog as company.

Blah, blah, blah. Do they ever get tired of trotting out this nonsense?

She said: "He is a heroin user. He gets through £40 of heroin on a daily basis. He is receiving help from the North East Council on Addictions."

However probation officers said Beasley had missed a number of his NECA appointments and he wasn't as far along with rehab as they hoped.

Heh! I believe the kiddies say 'PWND!', Ms Aisbill...

Beasley admitted having a dangerously out of control dog, possessing a knife and possessing amphetamine.

I thought he used heroin?

Magistrates handed him a 16-week prison sentence, suspended for 18 months, ordered him to pay £85 costs, a £115 victim surcharge and £150 compensation. They ordered that both the knife and drugs were destroyed and banned him from owning a dog for three years.

*sigh* Hopefully they at least destroyed the dog, too..?

The Crown Prosecution service applied for an order to destroy the dog but magistrates refused as the dog's owner was not present.

WTAF?

Sure, I Believe Him...

In July 2018, the company MaryGold Hfd Ltd was dissolved. And as a consequence the premises licence lapsed.

However, Mr Deen believed the premises licence still applied to the new company which was now trading at the site.

Of course he did. It makes perfect sense that a brand new company would be subject to everything the old company had.

I mean, if no-one told him th...

Oh, wait!

Sergeant Duncan Reynolds said: “...the authority wrote to the main licence holder and the premises in January pointing out the situation and encouraging them to apply for a new licence.

“It is clear that the advice was ignored and the premises continued to operate outside of the law,” he said.

“As a consequence, the police visited the premises on two occasions.

“On both occasions the premises was open with customers with alcohol being sold or supplied.”

Whoops! Caught bang to rights!

Mr Deen, who was the designated premises supervisor, said it was not his intention to sell alcohol without a licence.

“The first time I ever heard about this was when I spoke to a police officer over the phone,” he said.

He said he stopped serving as soon as he was informed by the police over the phone.

Errr, No. No, you didn't. You'd have to be a moron to sw..

Oh.

Herefordshire Council’s licensing sub-committee granted the licence for the sale and supply of alcohol for consumption at the premises seven days a week from 10am until 11.30pm.

/facepalm

H/T: Fahrenheit211 via Gab

Hunted, Harried, Chased To Exhaustion...

...there should be a law against it!

It all started with a Tweet...

Where's our Royal-warranted animal protection charity, then? Gone to ground?

Tally ho! *blows horn*

Don't you feel any sympathy for the poor quarry, desperate to escape?

One by one, the earths are stopped...

And finally, the prey is brought to bay, panting, exhausted, bloodied. It's such a terribly cruel sport, isn't it? 

Happy Easter Sunday...

...however you choose to celebrate it.

Normal Bank Holiday service will resume tomorrow.

What About The Harvey's Extreme Hardship? Doesn't That Count?

A lorry driver who was watching a TV programme while driving has been found guilty of killing a woman in a crash.

Viorel Sandulache, 26, hit 21-year-old Abigail Harvey's Audi on the Dartford Crossing in Kent on 3 November 2017.

He had admitted "listening to" a TV series on his phone, but the judge said she was sure he was watching it.

At last, a judge with common sense. There hasn't been a lot of those in Viorel's past...

Jurors heard he had twice been caught using his phone while driving and had 12 penalty points on his licence before the crash.

He had been allowed by magistrates to continue driving due to extreme hardship.

Christ! What about the 'extreme hardship' of his bloody victims, you morons?

In a victim impact statement read to court her mother, Amanda Harvey, said: "Our lives have been brutally and senselessly changed for ever.

"One of my children has been stolen. All I have to hold now is the wooden box containing her ashes."

The court heard her organs were donated, because that is what she would have wanted.

Her father Laurence Harvey said: "It's a dad's job to save her from harm, and everything which could harm her.

"I feel as though I've failed her."

You didn't. The justice system did.

It'll Never Stop While You Indulge It...

An infant school has employed someone to change nappies because so many pupils are not toilet-trained, a councillor has said.

Chris Towe, Walsall Council's portfolio holder for education, said: "We are talking about five-year-olds here and it is not acceptable."

But it clearly is, or you'd say 'Nope! We aren't accepting this child. Bring it back when you've raised it to behave as a human being, not an animal'.

If you simply hire extra staff to do the job these lazy 'parents' don't do, then YOU are enabling it.

Head teachers had also raised concerns that school starters could not use cutlery or dress themselves. Mr Towe told the BBC he had spoken to the heads of 80 infant and primary schools and found the lack of basic skills to be a "massive issue".

"I was quite shocked really," he said. "If they haven't got basic skills, how can they be educated?"

They probably can't. It's clear their parents weren't, either.

"This cannot go on. If it doesn't stop it is going to get even worse."

I struggle to see how it possibly could...

The council plans to send letters informing parents of the skills children need and where they can get help.

*blinks*

Excuse me?

Diane Coughlan, a Labour councillor, said the borough had a lot of vulnerable families with a range of issues.

She said: "For many parents, school readiness is simply not a priority for them so apart from simply sending a letter what other support will they be given?"

They should have the children removed, and their benefits also, and a short - or long - stay in a workhouse. How about that?

'Tis The Season...

Ah, revel in the vibrant diversity!

Sometimes, The Only Justice Is Rough Justice...

Ashley Wood was caught on CCTV speeding along pavements and roads in Victoria Road, Pinxton, Derbyshire, and vandalising cars while high on drugs and booze.

Charming, and of course, there's never a cop car around when you need one. But wait!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's PuntoMan!

But he was the victim of a brutal road rage attack when he was chased by an orange Fiat Punto down the street at high speed.

Shocking footage shows Wood being rammed into a parked van and knocked unconscious from the impact following his crime spree on an uninsured motorbike.

The 29-year-old was left for dead in the middle of the road while the Punto sped off on June 15 last year.

 I know what you're thinking. 'This is terrible, why should anyone take the law into their own hands in this way?'

Well, read on...

Wood, of Pinxton, spent a week in hospital before he was arrested for a string of driving-related offences.

He admitted dangerous driving, driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, attempted criminal damage and driving without a licence or insurance.

He was handed eight months in prison, suspended for 18 months, at Nottingham Crown Court on Thursday and given a 12 month driving ban.

That's why...

Who Exactly Are The Retards Here?

Children at a special school have been accused of making derogatory comments about gender, race and sexual orientation – and teachers are not taking action.

Errr...

The report stated adults often ignore the language, seeing it as part of the “overall special education needs”.

Ofsted said many pupils had “additional special educational needs” including autism, ADHD and communication difficulties, with 17 of the 97 pupils boarding at the school.

I suspect the teachers have enough trouble teaching them to read, write and keep their hands to themselves, without policing them for wrongthink.

The report read: “A small core of pupils direct highly derogatory language at staff and peers.

“There is little distinction in school policies and practice about the type of derogatory language used.

“Adults too readily accept that all derogatory language is part of pupils’ overall special educational needs and is perceived as ‘swearing’.

“Some pupils spoken with stated that adults ask them to stop and they know they should not swear, while others continue to make derogatory comments about gender, race and sexual orientation that goes unchecked.”

At this point, you begin to wonder if the Ofsted inspectors come straight from special schools...

No, Actually, She Was A Wolf. Just Not An Alpha.

“She just turned 21 a few days ago and she got taken out of YO (Young Offenders) and put in remand with all the junkies and down-and-outs.

“There would be drug deals going on, lots of bullying. She was a sheep in a wolf’s den.

“She was the sweetest thing. She was a lovely lassie that made a mistake, and she was sorry for what she did.”

And more like the runt of the pack. But even weak wolves have teeth.

What was she in for, again?

Ms Allan was jailed for 16 months in February for two charges relating to a hit-and-run on Eastwoodmains Road in Giffnock, East Renfrewshire, on the evening of August 10 last year.

The student struck a 15-year-old boy who was out jogging at 9pm, leaving him unconcious and bleeding from the head, though he later recovered.

Ms Allan, who was 20 at the time, was later stopped by the police and found to be four times above the legal drink-drive limit.

Hmmm, time for this again:

If You Support The RSPCA, This Is Where Your Money Goes...

John Knibbs is wanted by police for leading a gang responsible for orchestrating dog fights.

Knibbs failed to attend sentencing at Lincoln Magistrates Court on Monday morning after being found guilty of animal cruelty.

The fugitive, formerly of Sleaford, was seen allowing dogs to fight each other in a video found by detectives.

He should be fed to his monstrous beasts when - if! - they catch him.

Sorry, that should be 'catch him again'...

This is the third time Knibbs has been prosecuted for dog fighting even though he was banned from keeping animal for the rest of his life in 2009.

But then, as I've pointed out before, if no-one is monitoring these scum, what's the point of a ban at all?

Hazel Stevens, RSPCA, said during the trial: "At the time of the raid Steele claimed to own all of the dogs.

"We are looking after the dogs in kennels for £15,700 a year. Some are so dangerous they need to be darted before the staff can go inside."

Why are you looking after them? They should all be shot, and not with tranquilisers. They are a drain on your precious resources, aren't they?

The Feminisation Of Justice,,,

Judge Barnes asked Nicholas Hamblin, defending, if Gunn has relapsed back into alcoholism after failing to turn up to the probation meeting.

She said: “You are asking me to give him yet another chance. He got drunk, and didn’t turn up. Why would it be suitable to adjourn at all?

“He was seen in public with a samurai sword, this is a serious matter.”

So you'll throw the book at him, yes?

Judge Shani Barnes was furious with him, but agreed to delay his sentence until he has met the service.

/facepalm

This Is What The #PussyPass Gets You...

...an ever-growing sense of entitlement:

A mother-of-two who was acquitted of murdering her abusive boyfriend following years of beatings has revealed how she is still waiting to get her children back - two years after she was cleared.

As if those two things should be related somehow. 'Oh, the jury thought it was OK to kill a man rather than leave him? Well, you must be a perfect mother!'

Elizabeth Hart Browne, 29, who stabbed Stephen Rayner in the neck (Ed: three times!) and accidentally killed him at their home in Acton, west London, has slammed the justice system and says that the courts need to do more to support women trapped in abusive relationships.

Why is it 'the courts' issue to resolve? There's plenty of services out there; there's Relate for idiots who think it's a relationship worth saving, and National Express for smart women who decide to leave the brute.

The courts only get involved when someone decides to take a life. As they should.

Elizabeth told the Mirror: 'No one comes from a perfect family home. And mine wasn't perfect. Far from it.

'But I don't think that because I have made that mistake I should have my children taken off me for the rest of my life.

'It seems like a further way to punish me because I didn't get the punishment the court wanted me to get. I didn't get life. This is my penance that I have to pay.'

Now, I made 'a mistake' once; I misread the recipe I was following and put a tablespoon of salt in, instead of a teaspoon.

I wouldn't call stabbing the man you've failed to leave for two years three times in the neck 'a mistake'. I'd call it murder. Why didn't the jury?

Jurors heard she had knifed Stephen twice before - but acquitted Elizabeth of murder at the Old Bailey after deliberating for 14 hours and 55 minutes.

You'd think this dim, self-absorbed bitch would thank her lucky stars she got a panel of idiots, and quietly fage into obscurity. But no. Because - emboldened by the acquittal - she now thinks she should be a mother again.

She doesn't seem to have learned she wasn't a fit mother before she plunged a knife three times into 'the man she loved'. Why on earth should she be considered one now? 

Do You Have To Be Thick To Work For Cleveland Police Farce?

...or do they undergo specialist training to be this dim?

Cleveland Police has said that under current legislation, the force will only investigate if a person is injured or in reasonable fear of being injured.”

Hmmm, ok.

Mr Fisher was knocked backwards to the floor as the dogs savaged him, while others set upon Sansa.

"As I fell, I twisted," he told Teesside Live. "There was a dog on top of me, I thought it's going to take my bloody throat out here, they were growling, they were crackers.

"I went through all those news flashes, people being set upon by their family pet and being killed or maimed."

Clearly, he was indeed in reasonable fear of being injured. So when are you bluelighting to his addr...

Oh!

A Cleveland Police spokeswoman confirmed the incident had been reported.

She added: "However, there has not been a crime committed and the owner of the dog has been advised regarding civil action."

Does the poor sod have to wait until the beast's owner misgenders someone?

Are We Teaching The Armed Services To Just Surrender Now..?

A bystander during a Royal Marines ceremonial parade in Portsmouth 'felt very upset' when she saw the head and legs of the tiger pelt the drummer was wearing.

Sonia Livingstone, a Reading-based civil servant, told the Express: 'It's head and legs were clearly visible and I just felt very upset.

'Surely we should not be using animal skin when they are in such danger.

'There is just no need for it in 2019.'

So they patiently explained tradition and ceremony to her, yes?

A military source said: 'Band majors already practice with synthetic skins. Real skins can last for decades but must be cared for and used sparingly.

'Though they haven't been hunted for many years the decision has been made to end the use of real fur for this.'

A Royal Navy spokesman confirmed real fur is 'being replaced by synthetic versions as and when required'.

We're doomed.

#Chavs, Kids And Dogs - A Recipe For Disaster...

...from Land's End to John O'Groats, the stories are the same. Disorganized parenting, lack of foresight and dogs revered as weapons, more than pets:

The horrific attack allegedly by a 'bulldog-type breed' took place near the town of Looe in South- East Cornwall.

A 28-year-old woman believed to be the dog's owner was spotted shortly afterwards covered in blood. She claimed she had been attacked by her boyfriend and was pleading for help to leave the scene.

That dog has been 'transferred to kennels' rather than being shot by armed officers at the scene of the arrest. Dig deep, taxpayers! It's going to be there a while.

It is understood by the Daily Record that the mother had left her little boy in the care of her sister's partner, Chris Cooper, who owns several terriers and lurchers.

But neighbours claim he had gone outside to play football and left the baby in the house alone with the dogs.

That dog took a one-way trip to the vet before Police Scotland could put down their tablets and smartphones and get out there to soak the Scottish taxpayer for its keep, which I suppose is something...

'Daily Mail' New Feature....

...it's a 'Spot The Missing Word' round:

Hmmm, I think it's 'are'...

This one's easy, it's 'of'.

What Is It With Southend Signwriters..?

Are they all illiterate, or does it just seem like it?

Sunday Funnies...

Well, the days are pretty long in a PoW camp...

Entitlement...

A gran who went on a spending spree after scooping £22k at bingo is now surviving on egg on chips after her benefits were cut.

'Surviving', eh?

The 63-year-old divorcee forked out on a Walt Disney World holiday to Florida - her first in more than a decade - colouring books and a specialist chair for her arthritis , reports Birmingham Live.

But city council tenant Jean says she is now at risk of losing her home after most of her benefit payments were stopped following her win. She has been left struggling to afford to pay her rent and is taking antidepressants because of the stress triggered by the thought of being evicted.

What did she expect?

"I haven’t had any benefits since August last year. The DWP is saying I squandered the money just to get benefits - but I didn't.

"I bought colouring books because if I can’t go out that’s what I sit and do. It’s my hobby. I had one holiday and that was the first I’d had in 11 years.

"I bought a recliner chair for my health, as I have arthritis in my legs. I bought new stuff for the house, things I’ve never been able to replace as I haven’t had the money. "

You 'can't go out', but you could fly to Florida..?

“I can’t even go to a food bank because of my chronic diarrhoea. They don’t have food I’m able to eat.”

But they did in Disney World?

“It’s been seven months, I just want my benefits back.”

And there you have it. This is what the pervasive benefit culture does to people.

H/T: GeorgeSmiley via Twitter

At What Point Do You Stop People Breeding...?

A mother has brought legal proceedings against her seven-year-old son's primary school after she claimed staff made him wear a fluorescent bib because he was autistic.

How else are they supposed to know who to watch? It's not like you weren't told about it.

She said: 'It's just not right - it's massive discrimination. Looking back on it I think the classroom teacher mentioned a bib during the week - but I didn't really think about it, it didn't click until Charlie said something.'

It's the school's fault you can't be arsed to pay attention when the school is telling you what measures they'll take to keep your child safe?

Or....wait, is it to keep the other children safe?

She added: 'I knew during lunch break he's not always allowed out because he has been accused of hurting the other children, I know there's an issue there which the school have to work with me on.

'But they seem to think the best way to deal with it is to make him wear a bib so that teachers know that he's autistic.'

And a danger. By your own admission. But if you get the feeling this woman suffers from a massive case of entitlement here; you're not wrong:

It is by no means the first time Mrs Logan has clashed with the education authorities over the treatment of an autistic son.

Her other three boys, Brendan, 18, Leighton, 16, and TJ, 12, have all been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum...

She does have one child who doesn't.

Mrs Logan also has a daughter Marina, 20.

 Naturally, she doesn't work.

The full-time mother said: ‘I’ve had to fight for all of them. It’s been an absolute nightmare I shouldn’t have to fight like this constantly.’

Maybe you should have thought of that before you went on churning out children destined to be nothing but a burden on the state?

Ah, Essex 'Parenting' At Its Finest...

A parent has branded a council’s action as “diabolical” after workers removed a young boy’s tree house.

Julie Howard, 55, said her step son aged 12 spent his birthday money to buy tools to build the tree house in London Road, Vange.

In his mother's garden?

Well, no. Not exactly.

The angry parent said: “We were told it had to be removed for health and safety reasons.

“I told them that young people have nothing else to do as we have no parks or youth clubs about.”

Really?

 Liar, liar, pants on fire...

“When the council workers came down on Wednesday my step son sat in the tree house in protest.

“The council worker was even trying to get him down by telling him that his dad has McDonald’s food for him.”

And what were you doing? Taking selfies?

“They then came round to our house to speak with us about the health and safety dangers.

“It is an eyesore but it is not hurting anyone.

“I think what the council has done is diabolical.

“We were told that if my son fell from the tree we would be liable for it.”

Yes. Because you're an incompetent who shouldn't be in charge of a goldfish, never mind a child.

Yes, They Will Tell You This...

...and they are lying, the lazy bastards:

Mr McGourty, a specialist lorry driver, said he was confronted by the dog's owner and their friends after the attack.

"They told me if I went to the police about it, 'it would end badly' for me," he added.

"They don't even know me. I went to police about it and I haven't heard much since. I was told there's not much that can be done for dog-on-dog attacks."

Presumably there's also 'not much that can be done' for threatening behaviour?

Of course, now there's potentially bad publicity, the police are in 'No, no, of course we'll do something!' mode.

Police have said they are investigating the incident and are asking for anyone with information to contact them.

The 'something to be done' is....well, claiming to be investigating.

'Lenient Leigh' Strikes Again!

Zifiso Ncube had left a party in the early hours of July 8, 2018, and was making his way home when he started targeting cars in Pleasant Road, Southend.

The 23-year-old drunkenly stumbled into one car which “upset him” and so he proceeded to start smashing up three vehicles in the street.

One of the cars had to be written off. After hearing the noise, residents came out into the street and confronted Ncube who armed himself with a plank of wood.

And a broken bottle. With which he threatened to stab the residents.

Ncube was charged with three counts of criminal damage to property valued under £5,000 and one count of threatening a person with an offensive weapon in a public place.

Sentencing him at Basildon Crown Court yesterday, Judge Samantha Leigh said...

Oh, FFS!

Judge Leigh handed Ncube one year and six months but suspended the sentence for 12 months.

As conditions of his suspended sentence, he must complete 250 hours of unpaid work, 30 days of a rehabilitation activity requirement and the Thinking Skills programme. Ncube was also ordered to pay £320 in compensation and banned from entering Pleasant Road for two years.

So the next time this waste of oxygen gets drunk, he'll hopefully target Judge Leigh's neighbourhood...

Another Good Reason For Brexit*...

A Romanian dog rescue charity is using £5,000 fundraising to go and pick up dogs off the streets over there - but says Brexit could impact their work.

Well, good! We have enough animals needing rescue in this country (mainly because it's easier to adopt a child than an animal from a big UK charity), there's no need to import more.

Leaving the EU could limit the numbers of vulnerable dogs taken to new homes in the UK, the charity’s chairperson has said.

'Vulnerable' dogs like these, perhaps? Frankly, this is a good thing.

Next week a group of the charity’s volunteers is heading to Romania to help combat a street dog problem.

Volunteers will travel to Braila, a city in eastern Romania, where they will team up with Dog Rescue Norway and a local vet to round up stray dogs which will then be neutered.

And left in Romania. As they should be.

* Even if we do now have to fight until Hallowe'en for what we voted for....

More Judges Like Hurst, Please!

Armsden-McClennon told the court he wanted to change his ways after he and his 17-year-old accomplice, who cannot be named because he is a juvenile, both admitted robbing two party guests at a flat in Saffron Lane on Friday November 9.

Ah, that old chestnut.

Judge Hurst said that both teenagers had criminal records and despite all previous interventions from the youth court and allied services: "It didn't stop you committing these offences."

He told Armsden-McClennon: "It's said you regret it and are an angry young man who wants to change."

 But astoundingly, this didn't proceed a '...and so we'll let you off with a suspended sentence'!

Armsden-McClennon, whose criminal record was more serious than his co-accused, was sentenced to seven years detention in a young offender institution. The juvenile received a five-and-a-half year detention sentence.

Whereupon he displayed exactly how sincere his 'wanting to change' schtick had been...

Armsden-McClennon suddenly erupted in fury, pointing at the judge and shouting: "I hope you die you piece of f****** s***."

The judge took it with aplomb.

The judge said: "If you carry on you can have some more."

/applause

Just As Useless North Of The Border...

Checkout operator Janice said: “I’m absolutely disgusted by the way the police reacted to be honest, they just washed their hands of it.

“We contacted them 7 times on the phone and went to Maryhill police station that night to warn them this dog was walking about off the leash and could kill someone but they didn’t seem bothered.

They'll change their tune if they ever have to kick down the door of the house where this beast lives, I expect.

“They called Robert last night to say they hadn’t even been in touch with the owner yet, which I think is terrible.

“We’re absolutely heartbroken but there could be other people at risk now.

“This guy is online boasting about his dog killing people, he shouldn’t be allowed to have pets.”

Given it's Police Scotland, you might have more luck getting them to act if you can find a post where he's misgendered someone...

Learning A Valuable Lesson...

A primary school in Dartford which planned to have a non-uniform day exclusively for students with 100 per cent attendance records has u-turned the decision.

The wear your own clothes day at Fleetdown Primary School was set for Friday (April 5) before some parents described it as cruel, particularly for special needs children who require regular check-ups.

...that lesson being 'This is why you can't have nice things':

...the head teacher, Caroline Sadler, listened to the concerns before cancelling the event.

She told News Shopper: "Regular school attendance is vital in ensuring that every pupil gains the most from their educational opportunities.

"At Fleetdown Primary, we try to encourage good attendance and intended to introduce the own-clothes day as an incentive.

"However, following the negative reaction from some parents who felt it was unfair on children who had been sick and missed schooling through no fault of their own, we have decided not to go ahead with this particular incentive."

I don't suppose it occurred to this woman to simply say 'OK, we'll exempt registered special needs children who have proof of booked appointments', or even just 'These are the rules, take them or leave them', at any time?

What On Earth Made Them Think This Would Be OK?

Three police officers are being investigated for allegedly joining a protest outside the Sultan of Brunei’s west London residence, as businesses cut ties with his country after gay sex was made an offence punishable by death by stoning.

Scotland Yard launched an investigation after footage of the peaceful demonstration, organised by the Labour councillor Lewis Cox, showed officers smiling for the camera while holding LGBT flags.

What were they thinking? I mean, they surely know they should remain apolitical beca...

Oh.

Hmmm....

"OK, We've Gathered The Evidence Now..."

"...and it's bullshit, so off you pop!"

The rapper, whose real name is Cornell Iral Haynes Jr, was accused of attacking a fan after his gig at the Cliffs Pavilion in Southend on December 5, 2017.

Essex Police launched an investigation and, after interviewing the rapper in January, has told him he faces no further action.

What a waste of everyone's time.

All The Tell-Tales...

Fantasy:

In tribute after his death, a family spokesman said: “He was a lovable rogue with a cheeky smile and a mischievous sense of humour. He would do anything for his wide circle of friends and family, especially his five-year-old son, Logan, to whom he was entirely devoted.

“He was passionate about sports cars and he was a regular visitor to cruise events at Trafford Park and the Drag Strip at Santa Pod.”

Reality:

Coroner Richard Taylor said: “It is clear that he should not have been behind the wheel, he was a disqualified driver who had been drinking and taking drugs.”

Also speeding, and using a mobile phone...

H/T: Bucko via email

Ummm, Aren't They All...?

Yes, I know, there are feral parakeets. But we have no native parrots!

"An 'H', An 'H', My Kingdom For An 'H'..."

/facepalm

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

"What's a reporter? A cross between hoodlum and whore..."

More 'Benefits' Of Diversity Policies

Five people have been arrested after self-styled yellow vest protesters forced their way into a London coroner's court.

The group streamed their stunt live on Facebook as they stormed senior coroner Chinyere Inyama's office in Fulham, west London.

Were they protesting about the fact that this useless incompetent diversity hire is considered a 'senior coroner'..?

The protest related to the deaths of three teenage boys who were hit by a car as they walked to a 16th birthday party.

Ah. A very odd case indeed. Fahrenheit211 has more.

I Feel Sorry For Any Cats In The Care Of This Woman...

Joe Purvis took his Maine Coon cat, named Indico, to a vet in November last year and she was found to have three fractures to her head. The 12-week-old pet, bought for £50 several months earlier on Facebook, also had an open wound on the top of her head, and lost a leg while in Purvis' care.

He's exactly the sort of moron you'd imagine:

Sara Pratt, prosecuting, said the defendant had taken the kitten to vets the previous September and she had such severe injuries to her leg that they had no choice but to amputate it.

On November 9, Purvis then took her again to Coldicott & Kingsway Veterinary Clinic in Tewkesbury and was described by staff as smelling “overwhelmingly of cannabis”.

The vets did the responsible thing.

Purvis said to vets he “couldn’t cope with such a demanding animal” and that she was the “first and last” pet he would ever own.

A representative from the RSPCA went to Purvis’ home later the same day and he agreed to sign over the cat to them and he was later interviewed at Malvern Police Station.

And then this presented a dilemma; how on earth to get him out of such an open and shut case? Enter his defence.

Judith Kenny, defending, said ... she had seen pictures of the cat while she was living with Purvis and it was “happy and contented”.

You can tell that from a picture, eh?

She said her client had bought the pet a climbing structure and noticed she couldn’t climb properly so took her to vets on September 13 last year. A cat owner herself, Ms Kenny said it is often the case that once a young cat goes through such trauma as a major operation and re-adjustment to life, they are “never the same”.

It's not often the case at all. As a cat owner (did the magistrates check this, I wonder?) you should know.

“The reality is, then she couldn’t defecate properly in her litter tray anymore,” she explained, and went on to say she believes Purvis was not properly told how to look after her after the amputation and “struggled with her”.

Blame the vets, eh? Well, I suppose I'd be desperate too if I was stuck with this case.

Referring to the day in November in which he struck the cat, Ms Kenny said: “Only he knows the truth of the matter.”

“Why would he take the kitten to the vets and admit what he had done if he didn’t have some compassion towards her?”

Because he's a thick drug-addled cretin?

She said he became agitated at the vets because he “couldn’t afford to pay anymore” fees and had a hospital appointment later that morning. She said he is often “impulsive” and “that’s part of his difficulties”.

Yes, his 'difficulties'. Not the difficulties experienced by every living thing unfortunate enough to come into contact with him/

At the last hearing in February, Ms Kenny had said her client suffers from mental health problems and magistrates had ordered a probation report, including details of medication, to be compiled.

The medication he presumably should be taking rather than his cannabis?

The solicitor went on to criticise the coverage of the previous hearing in the Worcester News and the subsequent comments on Facebook.

“There has been absolute vilification of him in the press. When I read some of the comments, I just couldn’t believe some individuals can’t see that there’s two sides to a story.”

You have to have some brass neck to whinge about this, don't you?

Charles Townsend, chair of the bench, said: “The injuries are horrific and because of that there’s no doubt in both of our minds that you have crossed the custody threshold. There’s high culpability and greater harm.”

Good! So you'll be...

Oh.

Purvis was given 14 weeks in prison, suspended for 12 months.

*sighs*

I Think You'd Be Surprised, Actually...

"It's not great for kids to see these large fish eating the ducks, so we removed this large catfish and will work with the lake's owners to manage the risk posed by the remaining catfish population."

Are you kidding me? They usually love that stuff!

Wait A Minute…

Andrew Dixon is one of a dozen residents in Mallory Road and Onslow Road, Hove, who have resorted to desperate measures to stop commuters and holidaymakers from using their parking spots.

Hmmm, what sort of 'desperate measures'?

The 66-year-old said: “People park their cars outside my house for weeks on end and block the light. That is why I bought a Range Rover to preserve my space and keep them away from my house.”

But...wait. Won't that also block the light?

Mr Dixon bought his Range Rover to preserve his parking space, although he sometimes uses it for clay pigeon shooting.

*baffled face*

Of Course They Can’t Help, You Have To Arrange The Camera Crew First..

The landlord was made aware by neighbours that the tenant of the property had not been seen in a while.

After the RSPCA said there was nothing it could do, police attended and heard the dog barking weakly. Officers then went into the flat and found a Jack Russell, which hadn't been cared for in a while.

And at that point the RSPCA woke up and decided to do their duty?

She is now in a kennel and will be rehomed as soon as she has been given treatment and has found new owners who love her. The police officer told News Shopper:

"She is obviously a very lovely tempered dog and it really tugs at the heartstrings. "We had to go out to the pet shop because she was so hungry."

Clearly not. What's the point of them, then?

Seems Only Right, When…

...often the ones who carry them do the same.

A Croydon shopkeeper who sold knives to schoolchildren narrowly escaped jail after being warned of the consequences of knife crime.

What 'consequences'..?

Raymond Morris, 56, admitted he knew he wasn't allowed to sell knives to under 18s but still sold several ultra-sharp craft blades to school children, on two separate occasions.

Morris worked in the discount store, owned by Mr Ram Vijay, 53, on a casual basis and received verbal training on knife and alcohol sales.

'Don't sell knives to kids'. There. I have now delivered some verbal training.

...the Judge, at Croydon Magistrates' Court, ended up handing him a four-month suspended sentence, telling him: "In the light of the current climate, this is a serious matter of custodial sentence.

"I am giving you four months suspended for a period of 12 months."

Morris was also ordered to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work and attend Think First sessions and rehabilitation classes to improve his understanding of knife crime and its consequences.

Oh, I think he has a full understanding of the consequences now. He understands there aren't any. 

Maybe Not Now, But He Seems To Aspire To It…

The dad of an 11-year-old boy who threatened to ‘”shank” his classmates with a pen knife has defended his son and criticised the school for “fanning the flames”.

As you'd expect from someone whose woeful 'parenting' has come into stark focus...

The dad said: “In light of what has happened we, as a family, understand the community’s reaction.

“We in no way condone what has happened but the way that the events have been portrayed are totally untrue and wildly over-exaggerated.

“The fact is, that although wrong, my son took a bottle opener into school and it wasn’t a knife or a ‘shank’.

“There was a small blade implement which is used to remove the foil from a wine bottle but this hardly makes my son Jack the Ripper as some people’s reaction seem to suggest.”

Even Jack started somewhere..!

“My son had no intention of hurting anyone - he chose a bottle opener from a kitchen draw (sic) full of knives.”

Well, your son's dim. It clearly runs in the family.

“We are disappointed at the lack of professionalism that the school has shown in the handling of this incident.

“Although we understand they have a duty of care, we feel that in this case it should have been dealt within a more open-minded manner and instead of an instant knee jerk reaction to permanently exclude my son.”

 They were probably glad of the opportunity.

“The school should have viewed all of the facts - my son’s impeccable previous behaviour and the fact that this is totally out of character for him based on his past.

“Regarding the school’s statement to the Echo and the letter sent out to the parents after the incident, I would’ve thought that the school would try to calm things down regarding the situation considering that there is an ongoing investigation into what has happened and more evidence is coming to light.”

I feel 'more evidence' isn't going to help.

Another Triumph For Mental Health Services...?

Speaking outside the flat, Ian Grant confirmed that his cousin had schizophrenia and that there had been a ‘couple of incidents with police’ in the past, but added that he was ‘not like that, he’s not violent’.

Another neighbour said: ‘He wouldn’t hurt a fly. We take him food round to help out.’

Hmmm....

But they said ‘he does become very edgy when he doesn’t have his weed’, which he smokes ‘a lot’.

/facepalm

Police have said the latest attack has 'not yet been formally linked' to the other four, but the culprit or culprits could be suffering from mental health issues.

There is nothing to suggest the stabbings are terror related.

Apart from them causing terror?

Tarek Elmadkhoun, 32, said this morning: 'It happened just outside my door. My wife heard some talking at 5am. She's a bit worried.

'I just moved here one week ago. To be honest it's a bit worrying. My wife doesn't speak English. She doesn't know what to do.'

Kelvin Ojo, 36, added: 'It's scary now, this is not normal.

'It's been peaceful for a while until all this drama started coming up. Now I'm starting thinking about moving from this area, I'm not liking it.

'It could happen to anyone - my friends, my family, it could happen to me. It's really scary.

'We don't even know this guy they are talking about, so it's really scary.'

London. So very enriched.

What's Missing From This Story..?

Most of the tabloids are running this story today, with the focus on the Air Ambulance's intervention that prevented loss of life.

But what's not mentioned is any police action against the dog's owner. Is that because there wasn't any?

Can that really be true?

Catch 'Em Young...

The girl, who cannot be named because of her age, targeted three homes in a 12-day period stealing items including a knife.

She was eleven.

Despite the seriousness of the crimes and because of her young age she was only sentenced to a six month contract with the Southend youth offender panel. It means her sentence will consist of working with agencies to try and stop her committing more crimes.

*rolls eyes*

Her mother was also punished.

Oh! Well, that's certainly a change!

Errr, 'punished', how, exactly..?

First she was ordered to attend the meetings throughout the six months.

Ooh! Harsh!

Her mother must pay £250 compensation to the first victim and £40 to the third victim in £20 instalments.

Why so low? Because she's on benefits, of course...

Impotent...

The woman claims it took half an hour for a police dog unit to arrive on the scene, who then told the group there was 'nothing they could do', because 'all their resources were in central London.'

Then why turn up at all? And what's more important than a gang terrorising children?

She added: 'The travellers changed out of their bloodied clothing and were laughing at police. They removed their number plates and put on their Irish number plates.'

Of course they were laughing at police. Why shouldn't they? They are a laughing stock.

'One of the students is the daughter of a Polish diplomat. She was put in a situation where she was unsafe.'

I wonder what would have happened if they'd tried this in Poland, with Polish police?

"Conan, what is best in life?"

The head of a school trust embroiled in a row over classes about LGBT rights says staff have been left "distraught".

Hazel Pulley, chief executive officer of the trust which runs the school, said some staff had lost weight and were not sleeping.

Yes, it's Parkfield again. Bewailing the dilemma their progressive policies have (inevitably) lead to.

Going for the sympathy vote is unlikely to win them any sympathy, but why not try it anyway..?

"We moved what we thought was the issue to one side but we can only do that for so long or otherwise, quite rightly, we will be seen as being discriminatory to one of the protected characteristics."

Nice petard. You look good hoist on it.

H/T: CJ Nerd via email