A Worthy Cause

Like fellow bloggers Longrider, Dick Puddlecote, Bucko, the Libertarians, please join me in saying 'No!'.

Post Title Of The Month

Take it away again, Anna Raccoon...

Quote Of The Month

LegIron on the treats left behind in public toilets. NSFBR*

 "Then there was the porn star in the ladies. She must have been. She had left us one of the Unflushables and if she can get something that wide and long out in one go, she must surely have been in a lot of those films. As my father would definitely have said in the recent non-PC past, it was like a black man’s dick. For those who want to be offended, you might want to consider that any man of any colour would not be at all offended if his dick was compared to something that big. There are horses who would be flattered. That woman’s arse is probably listed in some caver’s almanac somewhere and there might well be a few guys with torches on their heads still lost in there." 

 * Not Safe For Breakfast Reading

Post Of The Month

Mark Wadsworth becomes art critic for the day. The result is glorious!

A National Police Force..?

Oh, if only we had one...

Police in Blackpool confirmed they had been made aware of the incident.

A spokesman said it was believed the dog had escaped from its owner’s garden, but added police didn’t investigate dog-on-dog attacks.

Odd. The Met seem to.

It’s Clingfilm, Not Sheet Metal Plating…

A teenage girl has spoken of her anger and embarrassment after she found her Fiat Punto wrapped up in cling film.

Anger and embarrassment that would have been minor and just between her, her relatives & friends, of course.

Except, in going to the local paper, that has now magnified a hundredfold, as (potentially) the whole connected world now knows she finds puncturing clingfilm difficult…

.. on the last day of term (Wednesday, May 14) she decided to leave the car park in Danson Road and go for celebratory drinks at the Turnpike Pub in Welling town centre.

The next day the teenager returned to find the car wrapped in cling film, trapping lots of her school books she needed to use to revise for her impended A Level exams.

‘Trapping them’ for how long..? The 0.12 seconds it takes for her to slit the stuff with a pair of nail scissors or even, perhaps, her nails?

Miss Moredaunt told News Shopper: "I laughed about it afterwards but at the time it was just ridiculous. I could understand if it was a mate playing a prank but for a random person to do it is just very strange.

"I just hope these people don't do it to an elderly person who really needs their car in an emergency."

I think the average ‘elderly person’ is a bit more resilient & resourceful than today’s teenager, sweetie…

Another Of Those Poor Starving Waifs Who ‘Need’ To Use Foodbanks…

A qualified veterinary nurse faces jail for animal cruelty after her emaciated and dying British Bulldog was discovered lying in a gutter.

Yeah, but since the usual ‘reports’ have been called for, I very much suspect she’ll get off. They usually do.

Admitting an animal cruelty charge, she told Birmingham Magistrates that she couldn’t even afford to feed herself, and had been forced to rely on food bank handouts, the Birmingham Mail reports.

If so, then I can only say – looking at her picture – those Northern food banks are waaaaaaaay too generous!

Update: No surprises. Just what do you have to do to get a suitable punishment in this country?

A Short Note...

You may have noticed it's a little quiet around here lately - well, there's a reason for that. M My broadband's playing up. At the moment, I'm relying on a 4G phone connection which limits me to emergency stuff only, so posts will be very light and replies to comments left non-existant until I can sort out with my ISP whethere it's them, or my router...

Well, That'll Stop Him Kicking Paramedics...

Kitt had suffered serious leg injuries but, even as he was being treated in the ambulance, he kicked out at paramedic Andrew Brayshaw Brown. The paramedic has been unable to work since. It was revealed in court yesterday that Kitt will have his leg amputated next month, after he is sentenced for his crimes.

I'd have amputated his head, but then that's just me...

Kitt's barrister Richard Littler asked for him to be sentenced yesterday, a request that was refused by Judge Richardson. He said: "It is the issue of dangerousness that appears in flashing lights from these papers. It is going to have to be considered.

"That is what screamed out to me when I read these papers. The circumstances of the robbery caused concern, as did the death by dangerous driving, in a different way.

"I think the sentencing judge will be assisted by having what is inevitably a risk assessment in a pre-sentence report."

Will they? Well, they might, but then you can't account for idiots, can you?

The court heard he had previously been given an indeterminate prison sentenced (sic) after a judge ruled he posed a risk to the public.

...

It is not clear when he was released but it is believed it would have had to be cleared by the Home Secretary.

I wonder which one?

Of course, some people are never at fault for their own misdeeds, are they?

Tributes have been paid to Mr Hutchinson on social media sites. Many claimed Matty had been in a grip of a drug addiction before he lost his life. Sending his condolences to the grieving family, one friend wrote: "Rip Matty Hutch. Matty was a good kid deep down, he was just ravaged by drugs and they have finally got the better of him."

Another woman, Jo Found, said she had watched Matty and the other man growing up. She wrote: "As children, they were the most beautiful boys. Drugs have got a hold of them, and, yes, they did a wrong, but death and nasty horrible comments are not deserved at all. One lovely family is grieving and another is wishing a loved one will pull through this. The two people who have lost a son are the most caring, devoted parents who loved their children very much."

The paramedic & post officer worker & newsagent - not to mention the innocent bystanders who could have so easily been caught in the crash - have families who love them too. Why do these underclass scum always feel the need to indulge in their self-pity on social media?

"You Don't Want To Be Bitten By My Dog? Well, That's Lousy Customer Service! "

...this appears to be the attitude taken by the usual 'What, I'M the problem somehow?' dog owner:

Lola, a five-year-old Jack Russell Patterdale, has escaped from her owner on three occasions and allegedly bitten the worker twice. Royal Mail revealed that the incidents were just the tip of the iceberg in the CM postcode area, with 33 attacks having taken place in the last year.

Suspending deliveries is the company’s last resort, but on this occasion in Sawbridgeworth it has deemed that action necessary.

Yes, it's a small dog, but it still has teeth! And no-one should have to put up with that.

Lola’s owner, 44-year-old Maria Busciglio, said she was feeling “awkward” and “embarrassed” about the situation, which has affected 11 out of 19 houses in Cherry Gardens.

And well she should! I'd be the same if my carelessness and inability to control my...

Oh.

Regarding the most recent incident, on April 3, Maria said: “My youngest, Callum, who’s three, opened the door. I was in the kitchen and the dog ran out. The kids said ‘Mum, Lola’s gone out’ so I’ve gone out there, I got her in and shut the door.

I then went down the road after the postman and asked him if he wanted to give me the mail and he just totally ignored me.”

You're lucky he didn't give you a piece of his mind! You clearly need it!

Maria has been so dismayed by the postman’s attitude that she is considering starting a petition against him delivering to Cherry Gardens in future.

Wha..?

But, thanks to your mutt, no-one's delivering at the moment! Good grief, some people are dim!

*Fetches Popcorn*

In the red corner - Mark Wadsworth's 'homies':

A controversial housing development should be replaced with...

In the blue corner - the Identity Politics crowd:

...a sports academy honouring the world’s first black professional footballer, it has been urged.

Let's have a fair fight, no kicking, no gouging!

Mr Campbell – whose campaign to Save Feethams has attracted high profile support from the likes of Stan Collymore, Irvine Welsh and Fabrice Muamba - told councillors: “If you miss this opportunity, you are going to miss the most wonderful opportunity the town has had.

“You have a platform to do something wonderful and I would propose what we do is build a sports academy on the site.”

Really? Blimey!

He added: “There are statues to Arthur Wharton around the world and there is about to be one 16-feet high unveiled at the home of the Football Association.

“To our great embarrassment, we do not have one in Darlington and I find that humbling.”

Oh noes! How can Darlington hold its head up on the world stage?

In response, the chair of the planning committee, Councillor Paul Baldwin, advised Mr Campbell that they would be unable to halt any building on the site as permission for the housing development had been granted in 2011.

Hmm, good question. How will Mr Campbell come back from this devastating uppercut?

When asked why he had not challenged the original proposals, Mr Campbell replied: “I really wish I had but I wasn’t really aware of them because I was so wrapped up in trying to celebrate a sporting icon.”

"9, 8, 7, 6..."

What's The Difference Between A H&S Officer & A Rottweiler..?

Well, the Rottweiler might let go of you eventually...

The London mayor promised to restore the "hop-on and hop-off" facility to London's buses during his first mayoral election campaign. Millions of pounds were spent in the design and construction of these buses. In a speech to the Conservative party conference last year, he applauded his decision to bring back the facility "that was so wrongly taken away by the health and safety fiends"

Giess what's happened now. No, go on. You'll never do it...

However, Politics.co.uk can reveal that the 'open rear platforms' on the buses are being routinely closed to all passengers due to safety fears, with some remaining permanently closed to the public.

Concerns over people falling out the back of the bus has meant supervisors have been stationed on the rear platforms at all times they remain open.

Because of the substantial cost of this, the 'open platforms' of the new buses are being shut to all passengers for days on end, with some being shut for good.

*sighs*

Passengers on the buses are supposed to be able to alight in between stops. However, many passengers have reported being prevented from doing so by staff who physically block their exit.

Isn't that itself a bit of a health & safety issue?

TfL deny this is their official policy. However, TfL's current "conditions of carriage" for passengers states that "on our bus services, you must board or alight from the vehicle only at official bus stops."

This is believed to have caused some confusion for staff operating the new buses.

Wha..? Just what sort of morons do they have driving buses in Lond...

*considers last few bus journeys*

Ah.OK. Never mind.

Did The Whole Country Take A Vote, Then?

Really? Well, only if by 'Polynesian community', you mean a few social media users and a whole bunch of anonymous Internet users clicking a button:

But the series has upset members of the Polynesian community, sparking social media campaign #MyNameisNOTJonah hitting out against alleged stereotypes of the show.

Instagram user Salote Taukalau posted an image on Instagram holding a poster reading: “I am a proud Tongan. I’ve never been suspended.” “And I’ve never been to prison. And I’m in my final year studying towards my Bachelor Degree.”

In a similar post, Leitu Havea, wrote on Facebook: “'This post is to stand up to the stereotypes of how Pacific Islanders are being perceived as within the TV show #JonahFromTonga.” The post has been liked by more than 600 people, with people praising the teenager for standing up for Polynesian people.

And that now translates to 'a whole country' being offended? Seriously?

Of course, there are those whose very career depends on being able to articulate outrage:

Professor Helen Lee, head of La Trobe University's department of sociology and anthropology, told Radio Australia’s Pacific beat she was horrified by the show’s portrayal of Pacific youth. She said: “I just think it's dreadful. It's just awful. It's creating a terrible stereotype that's just deeply offensive to Tongans.

Yes, we shouldn't stereotype Polynesians, it's not like they all think and act alike, is it? They are individuals, with...

Oh.

"The comments to his supposed sister, calling her fatty, talking about sexual matters, swearing in front of her is absolutely taboo in Tongan culture.”

/facepalm

And Yet, You Managed To Avoid It All The Same…

Sentencing Stern, Judge Owen Davies QC said he took into account his early guilty plea, the stress caused by financial and family problems at the time of the attack, the allegation that Mr Daltrey had used antisemitic slurs against him and the fact he had voluntarily completed an anger management course and was continuing to take sessions.

But he added it remained a serious, sustained bout of violence, and a custodial sentence was unavoidable.

Except…turns out it wasn’t!

… Stern was handed a two-year suspended prison sentence at Basildon Crown Court on Wednesday.

As Woman On A Raft commented, back in July 2013 (yes, that’s how long it’s taken for the conclusion!), maybe the council should be looking more closely at the running of this home?

Unacknowledged 11th Rule At CiF...

...thou shalt not show the poster to be an unhinged whackjob who has selectively edited the facts to suit her skewed worldview:

CiF sees nothing wrong with allowing hobbyhorses to be mounted before the bodies have cooled on the sidewalks.

But, should you point out that the author may have been a bit fast & loose with the facts, like so:

"He also vows violence. "On the day before the Day of Retribution, I will start the First Phase of my vengeance: Silently killing as many people as I can around Isla Vista by luring them into my apartment through some form of trickery," he wrote."

... In the last video posted on Friday night and titled "Elliot Rodger's retribution,” Rodger described his anger toward women and men. ...

“"You forced me to suffer all my life, now I will make you all suffer,” he said. “All you girls who rejected me, looked down upon me, you know, treated me like scum while you gave yourselves to other men. And all of you men for living a better life than me, all of you sexually active men. I hate you. I hate all of you. I can't wait to give you exactly what you deserve, annihilation."

Yeah. Right. But it's 'misogyny' to blame, eh?

then you'll be censored in a nano-second:

The ‘Guardian’ – Where It’s The Aggressor That Needs Help…

My husband has overheard our youngest, adopted 17-year-old daughter talking on the phone to her boyfriend. He fears she is going to beat someone up and if she does she will very likely face a custodial sentence.

Yes, clearly, all the concern is for the out-of-control child and the potential effects on her future. You really couldn’t make it up, could you?

She has a long string of fairly serious offences behind her and is close to the edge of a magistrate's tolerance.

As we know, that’s almost limitless – and giving her leeway and sympathy and second/third/fourteenth chances is clearly not having the slightest effect.

I’m once again reminded of that ‘Simpson’s’ episode with Ned Flanders’ hippie parents proclaiming ‘Help us, doc! We’ve tried nothing and we’re all outta ideas!’.

But she’s the real victim in this, poor lamb!

She is also vulnerable and volatile and desperately in need of help that does not seem to be available to adopted teenagers, certainly not where we live.

My nightmare is that if she is placed in custody she will self-harm or explode and the damage already done to her as a young child will be compounded.

So foster mum cuddles and cossets and wheedles her charge (with the ‘help’ of her friends, including one ‘Tina’ who we discover has her own issues…) until she calms down:

"I know, I don't know why I do it." The constant refrain, the perpetual inability to understand or control her feelings.

Fairly typical these days, because discipline and self-sacrifice and patience have gone the way of the dodo, to be replaced with unshakeable self-esteem, materialism and entitlement.

And maybe foster mum needs to look at the area she’s living in and the people her foster daughter is hanging around with…

This is the same Tina who tried to beat up my older daughter three years ago, who has a stepfather in jail and an aunt who recently smashed a door down in my house and stole over £500 worth of goods.

Nice place. Nice people. Maybe that’s the real problem..?

Clearly, Not That Ashamed…

The court heard Taylor was caught trying to steal £91 worth of children's clothing from Grimsby's Asda superstore on April 5 by avoiding paying at the self-service checkouts.

Rebecca Dolby, prosecuting, said Taylor became aggressive when approached by staff and racially abused security guard Jack Richardson, before later being arrested.

Charming, I’m sure you’ll agree.

"She described her own behaviour as disgusting and said she was ashamed of herself."

Did she now?

Taylor committed the offences whilst on a conditional discharge from June 25 last year for shoplifting.

/facepalm

Defending, Graham Ives said Taylor, a mother of two children aged 14 and 15, remembered little about the incident because of the alcohol she had drunk and medication she was taking.

*sighs*

The magistrates adjourned the sentencing of the case for a report from the Probation Service until next month, but ruled out a custodial sentence.

“Mummy, where do repeat offenders come from?”

“I’m Not Coming Into Work Today, It’s That Time Of The Month…”

Sometimes, even the CiF veterans look on in stunned disbelief:

The poll as currently stands at time of posting is far too close (47% ‘Yes’!) for my liking…

"Hire Stanley Unwin For Post-Election Coverage..?"

"Sure...what could possibly go wrong?"

The Kraken Awakes...

There's a threat of terrorists attacking from the coast at...Whitby? Really?

I though there was only one threat we'd have to worry about from that direction...

"72 virgins, you say? Well, so long as they are all delicious Rhesus negative..."

Sunday Funnies...

Admittedly, Danish Zoos seem to have solved No 3...

Never Mind All This ‘Innocent Until Proven Guilty’ Stuff…

…that won’t fly at our debased halls of learning any more:

An open letter calling for Mr Sullivan’s resignation has attracted signatures from activist Caroline Criado Perez, who campaigned for women to appear on bank notes, and the left-wing blogger Laurie Penny.

The letter, written by Sarah Pine, OUSU Vice President for Women, and Helena Dollimore, a second year history and politics student at St Hilda’s College, Oxford, called on Mr Sullivan to “step aside while still under investigation”. It went on: “Remaining in his presidency continues to offer prestige and power to someone who is being investigated for rape. This undermines the severe nature of allegations of sexual offences.

“The anger with which Oxford students have reacted, combined with speakers cancelling their appearances due to the controversy over his continued presence, means he should not remain in office.”

It’s no surprise just who is leading this campaign, is it? What’s surprising is the number of (presumably sensible) people who are happy to go along with it:

Ms Meyer, who cancelled her talk on Friday, said: “I believe people are innocent until proven guilty, but I’ve decided to postpone my speech because they obviously have a lot going on over there.”

How spineless of you. And how typical for these times.

Because this is yet another absurd demand from the likes of the ‘Oh noes, I can’t cope with real life, I must be protected!’ students who demand the ludicrous ‘trigger warning’ on literature and art.

And the more people keep giving in, instead of turning around and saying, firmly, ‘No. What you are demsnding is ludicrous and you are proving yourself an idiot by requesting it’, the more they will push for…

Ms Pine said: "We decided to organise the open letter and speaker boycott because we believe the current situation is untenable. It's not about making a pronouncement of innocence or guilt; but about the principle that whilst still under investigation for sexual offences, an individual should not remain in office. "

But only for sexual offences? If it was shoplifting or murder, you wouldn’t worry?

Mr Sullivan is also being challenged from within the Oxford Union. He is fighting against calls for a vote of confidence led by from Union member Aleksy Gaj.

Mr Gaj, a second year politics, philosophy and economics student at St Benet’s Hall, said: “I believe it to be important to reestablish the tradition of free speech and debate whereby ordinary members have the power to impact the running of the union and change matters with which they disagree.”

You talk of ‘traditions’ but then clearly show you haven’t the faintest idea what you are talking about.

The Latest Moral Panic…

Madeline Bunting leads the charge:

For once, a moral panic that could be useful. "Heavy web use harms children," screamed a Daily Mail front page this week. Others followed suit with comparably alarming headlines. To be fair, the concern is not new, and to suggest that it's all the fault of the web is misleading. But it is absolutely right to highlight some very disturbing trends in child and adolescent mental health that are accelerating.

Those trends being..?

Back in 2004, the first academic studies of trends in child and adolescent mental health began to report a worrying deterioration, but no one was identifying what was driving it. The obvious point here is that this was before the explosion in social media. So the origins of this crisis – and it is a crisis – do not lie in massive overuse of the web, but elsewhere.

It seems our children are getting madder – or are they?

In the last three to four years, there has been a steep rise in self-harm. Childline reports that in 2013 it experienced a 41% increase in reports of self-harm and a 33% increase of children reporting suicidal thoughts over the previous year. Public Health England concludes that 30% of English adolescents have sub-clinical mental health problems. These figures are catastrophic: we are raising children who are ill.

Are we?

Or are we simply misdiagnosing children with normal, everyday adolescent issues – what used to be regarded as ‘growing pains’ - as ‘ill’?

For the benefits, for the attention you get, for the absolution it brings from any responsibility?

Or for the self-aggrandisement of the identity politics crowd and their continued employment?

This leaped out at me in one of the local papers I trawl for material:

Becky Holloway, who leads the group with her friend Libby Stevens, said: “Quite a lot of my friends have mental health issues and I have seen the bullying that goes on.

 “We wanted to raise awareness because we thought they don’t get enough support.”

I can’t remember anyone having ‘mental health issues’ when I was at school. There were a few who were distinctly ‘odd’ (and would no doubt be tagged with a syndrome today) but this was considered just part of the normal spectrum of the human condition and – so long as they were not dangerous to themselves or others – they were absorbed into the day to day running of school time.

Certainly, no great song and dance was made about it. They were not indulged, or made to feel special. They just…were.

The issue should be the subject of Downing Street crisis seminars, taskforces and tsars – all the usual paraphernalia that indicates that some political will is being mobilised to tackle this.

Yes, but does all that ever solve anything? If not…

But the real test of the urgently needed political commitment is spending.

Of course. It always comes down to this, doesn’t it?

…one MP in that stiff-upper-lip tradition asked why these youngsters couldn't just "sort themselves out".

And we are invited to consider that terribly old fashioned and anachronistic. Madeline, after all, clearly does. She’s been touched by this ‘epidemic’ as have all her progressive friends:

I don't know a family not touched in some way by this epidemic; I don't know a teenager not already dealing with it either personally, in their class, at school or among their friends.

Madeline scorns the ‘stiff upper lip’ mentality, preferring, no doubt, to wallow in the self-pity, attention-seeking and rampant narcissism that so characterises our current generation of progressives and their future successors to that role.

"What, Me? BUT I'M SPECIAL, God-damn It!"

"Part of my brain was telling me this was only making my current situation worse, but out of panic I could only think I needed to stick to the same story, which is why I gave a made-up address when asked – I felt I had to protect my identity. Again, this was out of sheer embarrassment and momentary incapacity to think logically. My expenses are paid, so I have no reason to deliberately ask for the wrong fare. I had not slept all night, was tired, stressed and suffering from anxiety."

It's a strikingly familiar story. I know that anyway, from experience, but I was reminded of it during last week's jury service!

Following correspondence between her and Transport Investigations Ltd, a private firm that deals with penalties on behalf of several train companies, she was told she would be prosecuted. Her case was heard by Sheffield magistrates on 28 March.

Dixon did not attend but pleaded guilty "because I thought this was the right thing to do, as I had admitted asking for the wrong fare; also, I don't think I would have coped well with the experience". She was fined £400, and now has a criminal record. "I didn't think it through, I guess. I probably should have contacted a solicitor," she says.

You know, I don't think it's the criminal record that's making you unemployable...even for the public sector!

Following the incident, she quit her job because, she says, "train travel has become intolerable and causes me massive stress".

This woman is an idiot. And rather than keep that fact to herself, she's chosen to share it with an audience.

"My actions were wrong, and I admitted that, but no one from the railways or even the magistrate seems to have asked 'if there was no financial gain, and so much for them to lose, why would they do this?'" They might then have concluded, she says, "it was a moment of insanity – a bad day like we all have – and have a more humane approach".

Oh, I think they have been pretty humane. Far more so than I would have been, in the circumstances!

H/T: JohnB via Twitter

Hardly Surprising, It Seems To Run In The Family...

James Varley, for Fatima, said she had been in an abusive relationship when she was a younger and "she has a shorter fuse" than many. He said that she was a full-time carer for two of her children who have severe learning difficulties.

Like their parents, clearly:

Mr Eley said that Fatima Iqbal had previous convictions including racially aggravated behaviour and harassment.

Nice!

Judge Michael Pert condemned Fatima Iqbal and Fayaz Iqbal for assaulting the victim they suspected of looking inappropriately at her in a restaurant. He said: "This was disgraceful. You literally kicked a man when he was down, unconscious."

So disgraceful they should go to jail? Don't be silly.

He gave them both four-month prison sentences suspended for 12 months.

*sighs*

Fatima was also ordered to undergo a Just Woman programme.

Well, that's a new one! Maybe she's already completed the ubiquitous 'Thinking Skills' course?

You Might Not, Heather, But I Do…

Solicitor Heather Atkins, 33, is still coming to terms with the attack on her 10-year-old Yorkshire Terrier Caro by the Staffordshire Bull Terrier-type dog earlier this month. Caro was set upon by the larger dog, which bit his neck before throwing him into the air “like a ragdoll”.

 The owner of the larger dog continued chatting on her mobile phone throughout the attack in Tooting Bec Common, before calmly walking off and leaving Ms Atkins slumped on the pathway sobbing.

Hardly a surprise, given the owner of the out of control dog is from a demographic where it’s actually jarring to see one without a mobile constantly glued to their ear…

Police in Wandsworth are now appealing to trace the other dog owner, who is described as a black woman aged between 35-45, with short hair and a medium build, wearing a smart business suit and a grey coloured coat.

Typical. And a typical ‘progressive’ response from the bereaved owner:

Despite her heartbreak, she does not want to see the other dog put down. She added: “It breaks my heart that this woman’s behaviour could end up getting her dog put down, just because she isn’t able to control it properly.

“I would never want another dog to be killed because my dog died. The woman needs to come forward, so that the dog can be treated properly…”

The ‘proper treatment’ for this dog is a lethal injection. Give the owner one too.

And How Much Would Some Advice Or Help Have Cost You..?

Dingle Clark for the RSPCA said that case has cost £7,000.

Perhaps you were hoping to close down a rival, as you have done so many times in the past? Well, hard luck:

Newell's defence solicitor, Nigel Weller, said his client was clearly fulfilling a need in the community and now had six people helping her.

He said: "She is the leading light and has devoted many years of her life to the centre."

Mr Weller said the centre was run on donations.

Once, so was the RSPCA. You know, when it was actually a charity.

And How's Your Anxiety Now..?

Miss Cox said he was trying to sell the knife to raise more money for alcohol.

She added the father-of-two was suffering from increased anxiety.

Yes, well, a nice walk in the park or reading a good book might have been a better stress-relieving activity for a man with a burglary sentence hanging over his head...

*Orders Lifetime Supply Of Popcorn*

Cat, meet pigeons:

Teenagers should be randomly checked for knives on their journey into school …

OUTRAGE! Furious letters to the ‘Indy’ are being written, CiF is mobilising the comment section, clearing the decks for column after column and…

Wait. Who is calling for this?

… the best friend of Stephen Lawrence said today.

*crickets*

Mr Brooks is standing as the Liberal Democrat candidate in tomorrow’s election for mayor of Lewisham.

So, collective punishment and suspecting everyone is liberal now, is it?

A-level student Alim Uddin, 17, died after he went to the Roupell Park estate to collect a bike he had bought. A 16-year-old boy has been charged with his murder.

Today his uncle Absal welcomed the idea of searching pupils for weapons on the way to school. He said: “A lot of people will be saying it’s going too far but I think it’s a good idea.

“It doesn’t matter how much you spend on this or that, a person’s life is priceless. Even if you save just one life it’s worth it.”

Really?

Lorraine Dinnigen, whose 14-year-old son Martin was stabbed to death by youths in Holloway seven years ago, disagreed with the idea.

Ms Dinnigen, 46, from Islington, said: “At first I think I thought ‘yes, we need to do all we can to get knives off the street’. Even if it’s setting up knife arches at schools.

“But I’ve thought more about it and I don’t really think it is a good idea, because it’s sending out a message that doesn’t relate to young people. The majority don’t carry knives. It would demonise perfectly innocent ordinary young people.”

Let the infighting begin!

It’s Decision Time…

So, polling day is finally here.

Has the MSM onslaught against the ‘threat’ posed by UKIP made any difference? Even the progressives have to admit that it hasn’t, and may even harm their cause:

Are you going to vote yourself more free ‘stuff’?

Or are you going to indulge in a bit of Equine Terrorism?

I know what I’m going to do…

One To Keep An Eye On...

Remember this case?

Well, in comments, anon tell us it might still have a few more miles ro run:

"In Geoffrey Silkstone v Chief Constable of Essex Police following the judgment in case number OCM 00765 Mr Silkstone has now applied for a Judicial Review of the IPCC decision which may be heard in the High Court later this year. The application was encouraged by last years High Court case Chief Constable of West Yorkshire Police v IPCC [ 2013] EWHC 2698 in which it was held that the IPCC exceeded its lawful jurisdiction in determining that an arrest was unlawful.In Mr Silkstones case it is claimed that the IPCC appeal assessment is unlawful on the grounds that it attempts to overrule the judiciary."

I might need more popcorn!

I Thought Teresa May Told You To Concentrate On Crime..?

Customers of a website selling legal highs were tracked by Sussex Police and hand-delivered letters telling them they were “playing Russian Roulette with their lives”.

Sussex Police confirmed to The Argus it passed the letters onto four people, two in Brighton and two in Hastings, who had bought off the Wide Mouth Frog website.

Gosh, I thought they were run off their feet due to 'Tory cuts'. Yet they seem to have enough time to worry about things that aren't crimes.

Or...are they?

The spokesman said the term legal high is also often misleading because many legal highs, or new psychoactive substances, are in fact illegal.

He said: “The purchase of these drugs is an offence. Commission of such an offence can lead to arrest, prosecution and a criminal record. Such a record could have a damaging effect on careers or job prospects.”

So since you seem to have plenty of evidence that the people you delivered letters to bought these drugs, why aren't you arresting them?

The spokesman added: “And just because a substance is legal to possess, it doesn’t mean it’s safe.”

Wha..?

Which is it, then? Legal or illegal? Or...don't you really know?

Either This Is Just Another Half-Arsed 'Defence'...

...(and believe me, that seems to be all you ever get today, as jury service taught me!) or the Army really needs to revise its training manual:

Delaney was arrested hours later and told police he and friends wanted to put the cat 'out of its misery' and that he carried out the act as he had undergone survival training in the armed forces.

I wonder if his career in the Army would help him much if I got to spend a few minutes alone in a room with him?

Or, like most of his kind, is he only happy to front up women if he has his equally drunken pals to back him up if things get too tasty?

Wrong Way Round, Surely..?

No you're not. You were subjected to FGM long before you became an American.

I know that I am only here today because of what others have done before me: brave survivor activists such as Nimco Ali, Leyla Hussein, Alimatu Dimonekene and others have broken their silence to empower others to speak more freely.

Isn't there a name missing from that list? What about Ayaan Hirsi Ali?

The 'Guardian' Editor Agonises...

The APC said that it often receives complaints expressing concern about articles naming a particular drug in detail, especially if it has been used to describe a method of suicide or death. It felt that while this case is not connected with a suicide, providing detail could prompt imitative behaviours among vulnerable people. Would the Guardian consider amending the stories to remove the names? As a result of the APC's concern, a colleague from the readers' editor's office contacted Samaritans in London, which shared the same view as the council. It advised against naming the drugs. This had now become a matter of trying to resolve a difficult ethical question; not on one continent but on three. And the question was not unreasonable.

The question? Why, merely 'How dare the 'Guardian' be so gauche as to name the drugs used in the execution of a murdering scumbag.' Because 'vulnerable people' might think it a good way to off themselves.

No. I wish I was making this up!

I discussed the issues with relevant editors via email. We concluded that that there was a countervailing public interest in naming the drugs to explain what was happening in these botched executions.

As I already explained, executions are meant to kill people. So this one was hardly 'botched'...

I felt that in key stories it would be impossible for readers to evaluate how badly these judicial killings were being handled if the drugs were only described as drug A or drug B. But that didn't mean we should give details of doses or availability, or repeat the names in every story, which the Guardian has avoided.

Does he really expect any 'Guardian' audience to disagree that a judicial killing was badly handled anyway?

An Australian Press Council spokesman said: "In the Oklahoma execution matter, we understand why the particular drugs used might have needed to be mentioned for US readers. But for Australia there appears to have been no such need. We note that one newspaper omitted the drug names but mentioned in broad terms what each drug was used for ie what medical conditions they could be used to treat.

'No details please, we're Aussies!'

"We are also keenly interested in the broader issue you raise as to the difficulties in ensuring adherence to standards of good practice in journalism when a story may originate in one jurisdiction and be transmitted all around the world."

Well, yes. Surely even the 'Guardian' can't expect to be able to cover the peculiar sensibilities of every nation with an Internet connection, can it?

Is There An Election Looming, I Wonder?

You know, there just might be!

I Bet It Wasn't Under Caution...

The unnamed neighbour was later confronted by Mrs Cregan, 56, about his call and was ‘questioned’ for six hours.

If that name sounds familiar, well, yes. Hardly surprising!

One might wonder why she's not been pulled in for questioning on a kidnapping charge. Maybe she will be, if she ever Tweets about it...

Today Greater Manchester Police said Smith had been dismissed from her job fielding 999 calls at a police communications room at Chester House, near Manchester United’s Old Trafford football ground.

Well, d'uh!

She is appealing against the decision.

I...

I just...

And This Is Why The Police Are Warned Off Social Media...

..Twitter in particular, you see, takes no prisoners. Take this little gem from one of our brave boys in blue:

As we've seen before, a hasty & ill-thought-out social media comment can have the same effect as tossing a hand-grenade into a barrel of manure. Let the snark begin!

And there's more...

And yet more!

Right about now, I think PC Armstrong was wishing he'd kept his mouth shut.

I'd love to tell you how he wriggled out of this one, but I can't. He blocked me. I wonder if he blocked EVERYONE (even the obviously genuinely puzzled inquirers) who dared to ask..?

Oh, Look, It's Sustrans In The News Again!

No, it's not for anything good. Is it ever?

When pensioner Jim Higgins decided to clear the brambles from a footpath at the bottom of his garden, he was only trying to help.

Many of his neighbours stopped by to thank the former police officer for all his work – which saw him replace a dilapidated fence and build a seat for weary walkers.

Awww, what a lovely story!

How public-spirited some people are! How they heed the call of David Cameron's 'Big Society' and make their little corner of England a better place for people.

Well, let's nip that sort of thing in the bud right now!

But not everyone was so delighted by the grandfather’s efforts. Soon Sustrans, the charity which owns the footpath, announced that they had health and safety concerns over his homemade bench.

Following a complaint from the charity, Mr Higgins, 65, was called in to be questioned at his local police station in Whitehaven, Cumbria. He has now been told that he could be charged with the theft of the old fence.

As Tim Worstall is wont to say, 'Can we hang the bastards now?'..

And do I mean the useless fakecharity or the police who think this is a valuable use of their time? Hmmm. Both.

And, irony of irony:

he finally decided to take matters into his own hands after his dog Nell became impaled on one of its rusty spikes.

He said: ‘Nell didn’t see the spike, which had become buried by the overgrown vegetation, but it punctured her skull and it is only thanks to the skill of a clever vet that she survived.

‘But it wasn’t only the fence that Sustrans had neglected and allowed to fall into disrepair – the footpath was a jungle of dangerous brambles that snagged horse riders, walkers and cyclists.’

Remind me again, what was this quango come fakecharity originally set up for..?

The Things Modern Journalism Teaches You...

...apparently, animals can be murdered. Who knew?

Mind you, the 'Bristol Post' seems to think you can have an autopsy on one!

The Modern Equivalent Of 'Just Phoning In It'...

...trawling through Facebook & reprinting it all.

Do you remember when we had something called 'journalism'?

Ohhh, Ohhh, I Know The Answer!

*waves hand in air*

Is it because they are polar bears, and not human beings?

Sunday Funnies...

The movies are lying to us again? Gedouttahere!

Reflections...

Well, my two weeks of jury service are now over. And I'm free to blog about it, so long as I don't reveal the details of any jurors or jury deliberations.

But in truth, neither case - while serious enough to have been at a Crown Court - was the sort that would have featured in a local newspaper or attracted much attention. So unlikely to have ever featured in my blog here (well, the second one might, if we'd had a court reporter - it was a total car-crash, with the defendant sacking his brief & electing to represent himself on day 2, which seems not to be as unusual as you might suppose).

Both clearly didn't heed the '...but it may harm, your defence if you fail to mention, when questioned, something you later rely on in court...' part of the caution. Both defendants would have been, shall we day, very familiar with it, as it transpired after both 'guilty' verdicts were delivered. Both defendants were idiots who dug themselves deeper with every word out of their mouths. Defence must be quite a thankless task at times, despite the tendency of the court system to go easy on such fools.

Both were a total waste of the court's time, which the first judge (a real character, just what you imagine a judge should be!) had no hesitation in informing the guilty party, at scathing length, after verdict was delivered!

So what can I tell you? Well...

• You will hear from everyone who has done it that there's a lot of sitting around. They are NOT kidding! I'd estimate, of the 9 days duty, only 15-20% was spent in court or deliberating. The rest of the time was spent waiting to be called, or after becoming part of a sitting jury, waiting for court to start or twiddling our thumbs in the jury room while a point of law is debated. Take enough books. In fact, look at what you have chosen as 'enough books' and then double it. It still might not be enough. If you aren't a reader then, boy, I hope you are an 'I Spy' champion. People do leave magazines & books & jigsaw puzzles (and some cards, etc) for such unfortunate souls, but that's it. We had a TV in one room, but someone had stolen the aerial so you could only play DVDs...

• You will hear from EVERYONE involved - the court bailiffs, the admin staff who check you in and out at the start, the judge who addresses you at the end of trial - that the justice system appreciates your patience and your service. And they really, really mean this. However this will not translate to comfortable conditions for you from the HM Courts system (unless you are lucky enough to serve at a modern, newly-built court) - don't be surprised to find shabby, too-small rooms, poor food, clean but poorly-repaired, often-broken toilet facilities, etc.

Did I learn anything I didn't already know or suspect about jury service? Well, yes:

• The court staff (apart from the court bailiff) never introduce themselves by name - there's no 'I'm Judge John Deed and prosecuting today will be...' at the start. You may learn the names if the judge or their oppo refer to 'My colleague XXX' but there is no 'introduction' as such, except to each's role. I found that quite odd. I'd have no idea if either of my two showed up in a news report about 'idiot judges!' subsequently (unlikely with the first chap, the jury's still out on the lady in the second!). 

• The jury always sit in the same seats for the duration of the trial, except when the foreman is elected as he/she then takes position one. I didn't know that, it's the sort of little detail no-one ever mentions!

So...was it worthwhile?

Yes. Yes, it really was. Don't try to get out of it if you are called, it really is worth the inconvenience (and if self-employed, the money!) it will undoubtedly cost you. Thankfully, both cases I sat on had sensible jurors who really took their responsibilities seriously. May it be so for you too, should you be called.

"My Slogans Belong To ME!"

“I think it was the fact that they were chanting feminist slogans, but in this case it was drunken men staggering and chanting in a jostling way.

It was taking slogans out of their context and presenting them in a way that was offensive.”

So claims an unnamed 22-year-old female Oxford student who filmed the incident on her mobile phone. And now the police are involved, apparently:

Thames Valley Police issued a statement which said: “We received a call on Sunday which was a report of a group of men using offensive language in Cornmarket Street, Oxford, on Saturday evening at approximately 7.30pm.

Our officers are in the early stages of making enquiries.”

The 'offensive language' seems to be...well, not really that offensive, except to that small subset of human who appears to have lost all sense of proportion:

Some members of the group, who are out of shot and not identifiable in the video, can be heard chanting “rape, rape, rape”, “she’s too young” and “15 years”.

And this merits police action? Seriously?

Great Idea, Seumas, And All You Need To Make It Work...

...is for the Left to become popular:

Now, that's not too tall an order.

Is it?

*chuckles*

With The NHS In The State It's In...

Assistant theatre practitioner Oliver Lambden, said he noticed Mr Watson displaying signs of mental health problems as they waited to begin surgery.

...can we be sure he was mad?

...on December 22, just minutes before he was due to be operated on in St George’s Hospital, in Tooting, fled the theatre room, through a fire escape and fell to his death.

Oh. That's a 'Yes', then.

His family thanked the charity Action against Medical Accidents who represented them during the inquest.

*boggle*

That's Probably What's Worrying Them, Dave...

Afterwards, Sergeant Dave Clarke of Durham Police said Mr McCrea had been the subject of threats and appealed for calm.

"We would ask the public to leave it to the police and justice system to see that justice is done.

*chuckles* Yeah. Riiiiiiight...

"It's important to listen to the family, who have asked that people let justice take its course. If people take matters into their own hands, it could harm that process.

"Emotions do run high when a young girl has been badly hurt but we need to put our efforts into making sure this doesn't happen again, by making sure people know how anti-social it is to throw things at cars."

People don't already know that? Still, if the family want...

Oh.

Magistrates initially imposed reporting restrictions which would have prevented Abbie being identified in any future media reports. However, following an appeal by The Northern Echo, they agreed to lift the order.

Abbie's grandmother Sandra Webb, who was driving her to Shotley Bridge Hospital when she was hurt, was in court for today's hearing and afterwards thanked The Northern Echo for overturning the ban.

Hmmm...

How Convenient…

A gardener who allegedly blackmailed, threatened and defrauded pensioners as old as 95 failed to appear in court today as he is now suffering from psychiatric problems, according to his barrister.

Of course he is!

Mr Butler said that in the conferences he has had with his client Mr Brown is “unable to cope” .

He said: "Mr Brown is not a healthy man in appearance in any event. At a conference three weeks ago he brought the significant bag of medications he takes."

So..? I bet his alleged victims could club together and produce an even bigger bag!

Mr Butler said that since no progress could be made due to Mr Brown’s illnesses at this time, a date for a provisional trial should be confirmed for January 2015.

But Mr Crorie, prosecuting, argued that the case should be heard sooner as it involves 21 witnesses - many of them elderly.

He said the eldest and most significant of them is 95 and another is a wheelchair-bound 92-year-old in ill-health.

It couldn’t be that Mr Butler & Mr Brown are hoping to run out the clock to get the list of victims whittled down by ‘natural wastage’, could it?

You’re A Decent Member Of Society? No Justice For You!

Remember this case? There’s no happy ending:

Magistrates decided Staffordshire bull terrier KC can be taken off doggy death row and given back to owner John Roberts, from Druids Heath.

Any compensation?

Mr Roberts was ordered to pay £85 costs, but no compensation, after admitting owning a dog not under control.

No, of course not. Only for the State.

Yesterday, 67-year-old Kath Abbotts, present when her Jack Russell was killed in Druids Heath Park, said: “They should’ve put the dog down. It’s now free to bump into other dogs.

“What happened keeps on coming back, yet I haven’t had any say in the matter. I’m the one who has lost out – I’ve lost my pet. It cost me more to have Tilly put down than he paid in court costs. It cost me £98.”

Well, I suppose John Roberts needs every penny, since he states the dog ‘lives in a house with six children’ (not to mention other animals). He must have a fantastic job, to be able to afford them…

Wait A Minute, I Thought It Was ‘A Disease’..?

… so what’s all this talk about ‘choice’?

A friend, who wanted to remain anonymous, said he did not believe it was suicide and that Mr Comfort’s health may have been impacted by “unwise lifestyle choices” .

They added: “I was told he had collapsed, at home I think, but no one knows why at this stage or the full details about what happened. Some of his lifestyle choices were unwise and I think that has had something to do with it.”

Yes, it’s pretty ‘unwise’ to drive a tube train with a shedload of vodka inside you all right…

Yes, I'd Keep My Mouth Shut Too...

The day before the accident that claimed his life, 19-year-old Mr Reddington had told his mother that he was to become a dad for the second time.

His mother, girlfriend and sisters were at Teesside Crown Court on Friday (April 25), to see Darrel French and Daniel Dewhirst Bolton sentenced for their roles in the tragedy.

For the most part, they listened silently to the proceedings, save for the occasional display of emotion. At the conclusion of the case, they kept their own counsel, choosing not to pass comment on the jail term of six years and four months Judge Simon Bourne-Arton QC handed down to French.

Mr Reddington’s mother wrote a victim impact statement, which was not read out in court, in which she described the family’s loss.

Unusual reticence, surely? Why no fuss over the...

Oh.

Mr Reddington got into the Isuzu Trooper with French and Daniel Dewhirst Bolton knowing it was stolen.

Say no more.

Tune Time: "From where I stand, you are home free, the planets align, so rare..."

Yes, it's one from that much-derided flop musical about the roller-skating Muse (played by Olivia Newton-John) who comes to Earth and...

Oh, look, just watch the video:



For a bad musical (and it was, no doubt) it gave us a pretty good ELO soundtrack.

And Does That Hold True For Everyone?

Speaking after the case Welch said: 'It isn’t all doom and gloom when you go to these courts, if you go and you have a reasonable argument the magistrates are willing to listen.

'You should never just give up and think that they won’t listen to you because they will.'

...or do you have to be a special case?

H/T: MarcherLord via Twitter

PTSD...? Due To PSD?

Pull the other one, love...

Mr Yeo added: 'She was so harrowed by the investigation that she has ended up with the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.'

Clearly, what the police need is more high flyer direct-entra..

Oh.

Nicholas Tucker, prosecuting, said at the start of the first trial how Brookes, who was also married to another senior police officer, David, had joined the Surrey force as a university graduate and he described her as a 'high-flyer'.

/facepalm

I Dunno, Love...

...stay alive, maybe?

The 30-year-old woman, who did not want to be named, said: “I want that pipe pulled down. It’s appalling. It needs to be taken down.

“All my lifetime kids have played on it. What else have kids got to do in Burnley? It shouldn’t have taken this much to get it down.”

*sighs*

The number of floral tributes, balloons, Burnley FC scarves and messages of condolences for Robbie, tied to the railings and laid on the canal path, grew overnight.

That'll make Burnley look nicer. I'm sure.

Are We Really Raising A Generation Of Wimps..?

Mrs Spenser said cyber abuse was different to face-to-face bullying, which normally took the form of repeated harassment through insults or physical aggression. She said a ‘one-off’ incident online could have much bigger repercussions.

‘A nasty remark that gains 100 “likes” from friends or others is devastating, the sheer volume of response can be amazing.

‘What’s worse is that children feel a compulsion to keep looking online 24/7,’ she added.

In short, they deem themselves unable to do what any sensible person would do - switch off.

And rather than teach them this, as a result, she's calling for a new criminal offence of 'cyber bullying' to be created.

But why would a psychologist's researcher think that she was qualified to make suggestions for the justice system?

Mrs Spenser, who is a magistrate, said she would like to see cyber bullying become a criminal offence.

Ah.

I Think Stuart Howe's Going To Be Busy...

Who he?

Why, a deer manager in Herts who tackles the fiercest big game Herts has to offer - a runaway pet.

The runaway rhea that has been roaming a golf course for more than a month has finally met its end at the hands of a gamekeeper.

...

But it wandered into Stuart Howe’s rifle sights in a nearby oil seed rape field, and the deer manager killed it with a single shot to the head from 70 yards.

/applauds the mighty hunter

Bravo, sir! Why, you'll be ready for the Big Five soon, I'm sure.

What? No. Not lion, leopard, buffalo, rhino or elephant. Our Great White Hunter will have to tackle Fluffy, Tabby, Champion, Fido and Ferdinand...

Mr Howe yesterday insisted the bird had not suffered, and said the meat would be made into gourmet sausages.

And they will taste good, I'm sure. But fear not! Mr Howe did not shoot this bird to eat. Nor simply because it was there and he felt like killing it. Who would object to that? Not me.

No, Mr Howe is Hare Street's answer to Jim Corbett - he did it to keep you all safe..

He added that he understood that the police wanted the bird dispatched because they were worried that it could cause a car crash.

They usually take care of such things themselves, though without Mr Howe's undoubted marksmanship.

Mr Howe, 65, who manages deer and lives in the nearby village of Hare Street, said: “I suppose some people might say it is a shame the rhea is dead but it would be terrible if it caused someone to die in a car crash.

I saw the rhea near the roadside at one point and it would easily have caused a car to swerve and hit a tree.”

Excellent attitude to take! I commend your public-spiritedness!

Now, about these travellers' horses that keep wandering in the roads. Be a good chap and sort that out too, will you?

And when you're done there, I'm sure a quick perusal of Mark Wadsworth's site will clue you in the the menace of loose livestock, and how can the farmer object, if it saves one (non-bovine) life?

Oh, and if you can still afford the cartridges after that, I'm sick to death of having the local schoolchildren walk straight out into the road engrossed in their phones when I'm driving past. I'm sure the police will understand. In fact, they probably want you to do it, eh?

You wouldn't want me to have to swerve, right?

H/T: Heresy Corner via Twitter

I Agree, James...

Appearing via video link to Durham Prison, the 23-year-old told magistrates: “I have really thought about life and where I want to be in the future and prison is simply not for me.”

...I'd prefer the birch. We can send the useless magistrates to prison instead.

But why is this man threatening a funeral director (in breach of a restraining order) anyway?

At an earlier hearing, magistrates in Darlington heard Cumiskey had responded to an advert placed five years ago by the funeral director offering training in embalming.

However after spending six hours with him, he was unnerved by Cumiskey, who was described as being strange and ‘having an unhealthy interest in the dead'.

Creepy!

In a letter to magistrates, Cumiskey said: “I want to become the nice young man that I know I am and become a good member of the public.”

He also said he wanted to enrol at college to become a renewable energy engineer.

*cancels order for solar panel installation*

Questions CiF Is Happy To Let You Ask...

I wonder when we'll see a similar column from Freddie Starr..?

With Our Candles, Tealights And Signs, We Shall Liberate These Schoolgirls!

A silent vigil will be held this evening in Brighton in an effort to help raise awareness and to show solidarity for the 240 girls stolen from their school.

People are asked to turn out with candles, tealights and signs to show their support.

Crikey, sounds like the loons in Brighton want to get in on the action that 'Counting Cats...' was gobsmacked by last week...

The event is arranged by Free University Brighton.

'Free' as in, that's what it costs? Or 'free', as in, that's all it's worth?

Brighton Pavilion MP Caroline Lucas wore a red ribbon on Question Time to show her support.

Oh, stop! Please! You're killing me...

Why, Yes, Let's Demand Something That Had No Connection With This Tragedy...

...it's clearly The Modern Way:

The tragedy – in the Clubmoor area of Liverpool – has led to the Clarke family calling for tougher dog control laws to be brought in, with muzzles on all dogs in public, and under-18s barred from walking dogs.

So, 'the tragedy' was caused by an under 18 year old walking an unmuzzled dog in public?

Why, no. Why ever would you think that?

Kenny said: “We are not dog haters, we love dogs - I’ve been around them my whole life.

“It is a case of owners taking more responsibility.

“Every human being is different and so are dogs. They all have different personalities and are capable of reacting.

“If dogs were muzzled in public then the number of attacks would fall.

“It needs to start now before someone else become a victim.”

Kenny, this case is awful, but just why you think forcing Mrs Miggins to muzzle her 2lb Pomeranian when she walks it down the road to get her morning newspaper is the answer to stopping men like your brother from being mauled to death in their own back garden by his neighbour's uncontrollable half-starved 180lb killing machine, I've no idea.

I hesitate to suggest that it's because you're from Liverpool. Has anyone got a better suggestion?

Slow News Day..?

*boggle*

Oh, 'Daily Mail'... *Shakes Head Sadly*

You managed to get it wrong and right!

Well, No Wonder The NAHT Is Dead Against Free Schools...

...after all, teaching children nothing is a job for their members!

According to Russell Hobby, general secretary of the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT), schools which had taken in students after the free school was shut had reported that some youngsters were a term behind where they should have been in their education.

Get back to me when they leave school unable to read or write well enough for employers not to have to spend money remedying it, Mr Hobby...

Sunday Funnies...

Government - wasting your money on wacky schemes 24/7/365...

ORLY?

Supermarkets were facing a backlash last night after claiming it was ‘unnecessary’ to spell out on labels whether meat comes from animals killed by religious slaughter.

Religious groups from all faiths, vets and animal welfare groups joined calls for new labels to identify halal or kosher meat.

But retailers claimed that shoppers do not care...

And you might have been right, they didn't until the issue was raised. What do you think now?

...and even argued that there is not enough room on packs for new labels.

Heh! Nice try.

Did it work with all those rules they brought in for fat/salt/sugar content? No? Well, why do you think it'll work with this?

David Cameron believes there is no need to change the law.

Game over, man, GAME OVER!

Well, If It Isn't Our Old Friends Once More...

Sustrans & DIYPortersLodge, that is...

Road-users commented they were unsure of the purpose of the marking, but the mystery soon unravelled when road safety charity Sustrans revealed it was part of community project DIY Porter’s Lodge, which asked residents to pick a design to mark the gateway to the area.

'The marking' being a large 12 pointed yellow star in the middle of the road junction. One for future 'Daily Mail' readers, I think...

Sustrans senior urban designer, Paola Spivach, said: “The star is designed to increase drivers’ awareness of the surroundings and to slow traffic speeds.

“We’ve already seen a big change, with cars travelling much slower –it’s an important step in making the streets in the neighbourhood places to live, play and spend time in, rather than just speed through.”

 Are the benighted residents of the area grateful for Paola's beneficence? Reader, they are not...

But the star, which is located at the junction of Gale Street, Rugby Road and Ivy Road, has sparked a mixed response from neighbours.

Elaine Hayward said on the project’s Facebook page: “This is so dangerous. I have to cross this junction regularly and no one knows who has right of way. I was nearly hit this morning. Accidents waiting to happen.

“I can't see how the junction will be safer when no cars are stopping - just joining the junction from all directions. I do hope the signs will make it clearer but they really should have been installed at the same time as the road marking.”

Hmmm...

Lorraine Ridley described it as a ‘waste of money and time.’

She said: “Lots in the community not happy, people don't understand what it means. You may give an explanation on here but people who come to visit won't know it is no right of way now.”

Having driven through Dagenham, I doubt that'll be much of a change for the residents, frankly.

Update: This post was composed Wednesday morning, and I received a call from a friend to tell me that the star has now fallen. Proper give way signs are now in place.

Poor Paola! Better luck next time, love...

Further Update: Sustrans insist 'It'll be back!'. Quite how - since there's no way it cannot cover the give way signs - I don't know...

We’ve Been Here Before…

A police spokesman said: “Members of the public reported a man at Victoria Parade who was throwing litter out of a bin into the inner harbour and trying to get a dog to jump in after it.

“The dog was more sensible than the man and did not jump, so the man picked up the dog and threw it into the inner harbour. It was a 12ft drop and there was 4ft of water.

“The dog managed to swim out and came up the slipway.

“Members of the public were very angry and the man was almost accosted but at this point police arrived.

“A man was arrested, partly for his own safety.”

Sounds awfully familiar. What do they put in the water down there (besides dogs)?

“Enquiries were made with the RSPCA about animal cruelty offences but there was insufficient evidence.”

Funny, that…

There Are No Standards Any More...

He said: “It was beautiful, we tried to treat it with as much respect as possible. But then some others came over and just tore the place up.

“There were just too many people in there.

“It's annoying that we try and treat places with respect and others come along and trash it. It gives us a bad name.”

...

“...some of those who were in there decided to throw a party and invited everyone in Brighton to it. It all got out of control.

“We got back from a night out and it was already going on with loads of random people in there. At the end of the day when you've got youngsters ... who don't know the cardinal rules, don't invite out of control people in.”

I mean, what's Brighton coming to when squatters don't have good standards of behaviour any more..?