Post Title Of The Month

David Thompson announces a break in scheduled programming in his own inimitable fashion:

Quote Of The Month

S. Weasel notes that the papers are being a little bit reticent again:

"We live near several beaches popular with tourists in the Summer. Over the weekend, a young woman drowned at one of them. The local paper ran a couple of lines on it: thirty year old woman, got into trouble in the water and drowned, was airlifted to the hospital, all attempts to save her were in vain. End of.

Here’s what actually happened: a Muslim family came down from London for the day. I doubt any of them could swim. The young woman went into water in her Muslim regalia — I’m not sure if it was the full niqab, but certainly a large, loose, heavy skirt. When it got soaked, the weight of it pulled her under the water. Her female relatives were afraid to come after her and the men of the party — because of awkward prohibitions about touching — stood helplessly by her body in the water until rescuers arrived. By which time it was impossible to save her. Though the police tried, giving the family the additional upsetting spectacle of seeing her largely disrobed and handled by a strange man in a public place. This is not the first time this exact thing has happened on this same beach.

So: the papers are not telling you things because they are desperate not to offend.

And: the group they are desperate not to offend really, really needs to know this thing, at risk of drowning.

This is all kinds of messed up."

Indeed it is...

Post Of The Month

MacHeath has another nautical themed post - with a difference.

On The Other Hand, There’s Nothing To Suggest People Shouldn’t Be Fearful…

…is there?

Ds Richard Burgess of Basildon CID said: "This is a particularly unusual incident with no clear motive.

"It appears from the scene that the suspected jemmied open the front door and encountered the woman when she came out of her bathroom.

"After first punching the woman in the face and then shooting a pellet at her, he has then fled the house. I am urging anyone who saw a man running along Chesham Drive at around 8am this morning to contact my team as soon as possible.

"There is nothing to suggest anyone should be fearful that this man should strike again. Local officer patrols will be stepped up in the surrounding areas to offer reassurance to residents.”

So a woman was burgled and shot in the eye by a unknown assailant, but there’s no need to panic..? 

You don’t know who he is or why he did it, or at any rate, you aren’t telling us, but you think he won’t do it again?

And that’s based on…what?

She Owns Dangerous Dogs? Well, Let’s Give Her Some Kids As Well…

Mum-of-three Mrs Clegg said she had just returned from shopping and was in the kitchen with Little Man.

Although she was aware of the delivery driver she said she did not see the dog attack Miss Larham.

She certainly saw the aftermath, though. As did the delivery driver’s young son.

Since the incident she put a bell at the gate, and more signs of ‘beware the dog’.

The mother-of-three who is applying to look after her sister’s three children told the court she takes her responsibilities as a dog owner seriously.

She keeps five dogs in all.

Sounds like a lovely house. Let’s give her some kids as well.

Mrs Clegg’s defence explained that her husband is currently in prison for eight years, and imprisonment would be “too much” for their children.

At the moment she is seeking to care for her sister’s three children, aged between seven and 11. Social Services have done over a dozen visits to her home and are supportive of the application.

What could go wrong?

After making the destruction order on Little Man, magistrates also ordered Mrs Clegg to pay £600 compensation to Mrs Larham and made her subject to a three month curfew between 9pm and 7am.

Outside of the courtroom, Mrs Clegg wept at the dog’s fate.

I weep for the fate of those poor bloody children, left in her ‘care’…

What I Learned On Twitter...

Shoot a lion (with some dodgy legality involved) and there's outrage!

Strangle a Staffie bitch, and.... *crickets*

"The witnesses attended that night and found the freshly dug area. They confronted her the next day but were told it was just toys that had been buried. The next night they went back and discovered the body, and called us.

"A couple of weeks later, Cowan admitted she had killed Beau and buried her in the garden at the incident location."

Yet no anchormen weep at the thought of the dog's demise.

No artist will paint a mural on Hayley Cowan's front door.

No enraged mob will descend on her (no doubt taxpayer funded) house to drive her out.

Isn't it amazing what a chav can do, that a rich professional can't..? Who is the 'privileged' one, again?

Don’t Expect To See That £260 Any Time Soon…

The owner of both dogs, Paul Cave, 60, from Eton Avenue, Oldham, was found guilty in his absence after a trial of three charges - causing Rebel and Zola unnecessary suffering, failing to take steps to ensure their needs were met and failing to protect them from pain, suffering and injury.

He was sentenced today at Runcorn magistrates Court, but didn’t turn up to the hearing.

Clearly trembling in awe before the might and majesty of the justice system, there…

I make a prediction his cheque for court costs will similarly fail to make an appearance.

Cave, who is thought to have been working at the festival site near Runcorn at the time, was disqualified from keeping animals for life and conditionally discharged for 12 months.

He was also ordered to pay £260 costs.

Let's hope he goes to prison. Animal abusers must rank just under paedophiles.

Ah, Those Benefits Of Free Movement Within The EU…

Non-English speaking Maria Araujo asked her husband Eduardo to help her deal with some documents, Bristol Crown Court heard.

In an argument that ensued she lashed out with a small kitchen knife and stabbed him in the upper inside of his thigh and calf.

And it’s not the first time she’s been in the dock for this…

The court heard the case had a protracted history and included a trial in April 2014 in which she was acquitted of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

Time she spent remanded in custody, and also being put on a curfew, meant she had served the equivalent of a ten months prison sentence, the court heard.

So, guess what? Yup, you guessed it!

The court first had to swear in a Portuguese interpreter for Araujo to enable her to understand proceedings.

What’s the Portuguese for ‘pussy pass’? We should ask that expensive court interpreter…

The recorder Mr Stephen Hall: "You attacked your husband with a knife. It is said you employed a device to get him to your home so you could attack him."

Clear premeditation, so why the soft sentencing?

Mr Hollier said the prosecution accepted a jury's finding that Araujo did not intend to cause the injuries, but she conceded she was reckless.

You lie in wait for someone you’ve lured to a place with a knife, and you don’t intend to cause injuries? But let me guess, she’s the real victim?

Mr Nelson, defending, said: "It is hard to argue that it does not pass the (custody) threshold.

"The injuries were serious at the hand of a knife.

"She has suffered a great deal from depression and she has found this whole process extremely difficult. The court will be pleased to hear that since proceedings there has been no issue between the parties. There's no contact."

OK, back to Excuse School for you!

No, The Death Of Conley Thompson Is Not The Fault Of The Police...

John Wright, another neighbour, said that he had spoken to police looking for the seven-year-old last night, and told them to search the building site and the schoolboy had previously been warned about playing there.

'Police came round last night asking and my kids told them he might be playing at the construction site,' he said.

'They said they'd looked but not found him. I'm telling you they should have found that bairn last night.

'How can someone not be there then suddenly be there. It's a disgrace.'

It's a disgrace, all right, Mr Wright. But not for the reasons you seem to think it is...

Peter Taylor, who said he was a manager at Security Guards UK, said the firm had reported that children were playing on the site.

'Basically we finished there on July 16, we leave warnings signs up as an extra visual deterrent,' he said.

'When we were there we had reported the perimeter was not secure, there were children trying to come on to the site and we were stopping them.

'We were pulled off immediately without any notice, we then reiterated the issues.'

He added: 'If a security guard was on site then he would have spotted it and would have prevented it from happening. We are very sorry for the family's loss.'

It's not the construction site company's fault either, nor that of the security firm (who clearly want to be continuously employed, and who can blame them?)..

Another neighbour, who lives opposite Conley and his mother, also said local children had been playing at the building site.

'He's been playing in there for about two weeks now,' she said. 'There used to be 24 hour security and gates there, but they've taken them down.

'He's been going a few times with other boys - I've seen them playing on the diggers.'

Alicia Dalton, who had visited the building site today to lay flowers, said: 'I heard he was playing on the site. Kids will go where they want to go.'

If it really does 'take a village' to raise a child, this one's unusually full of idiots, isn't it?

Conley had gone to meet his friends in Locke Park in Barnsley yesterday evening, spending two hours with them before leaving to go home at around 8pm.

But the youngster failed to arrive back home, which is around two miles - a 40 minute walk - from the park, and was reported missing a short while later.

Seven. He was seven...

Ms Fraser said her grandson's father was 'not around', but said his mother, Paula Thompson, would be 'devastated' by Conley's death.

'You can't knock Paula as a mum,' she said. 'She's an absolutely ace mum.

'She really tried her best with him, even though she had her tough days with him she was a brilliant mum and she's going to find it really, really hard without him.'

Paying tribute to the little boy, she said she was 'shell-shocked' by his death She added: 'He was always in trouble, he was never out of it but when he came to my house to stay he was as good as gold, really good.'

There's poverty in Britain, yes. But it's not the lack of money type...

It's The Boundless Gratitude That Makes Taking In Refugees Such A Heartwarming Gamble...

Declan Adams, defending, said: 'There is an aggravated feature here, given the tragedy that happened in Tunisia.

'From what I know of the defendant he is a 31-year-old who came to the UK as an asylum seeker from Iran.

'It appears he suffers from trauma and depression, and presents himself as a man who has possible trouble in that area. He says he lives in a hostel.

'He certainly was not aware of what a coroner's court was, and in that respect didn't realise the sensitivity of the situation.

'He said he felt depressed and wanted the flowers to brighten up his room. He wants to extend his apologies to those victims and express his sympathy.

'He is not familar with current affairs and had he been aware he would not have taken the flowers.'

Bravo! A stirring performance, sir! It should win you the lawyer's equivalent of a BAFTA! Now, all we can hope is that your client doesn't ruin it by...

Oh. Too late!

Moradisohi stood and shouted when ordered to pay the fine, saying: 'Why should I pay? I am sick. I have a mental problem. How can I pay? They give me poison and make me disabled.'

Well, you could always try the top-class medical facilities back in Iran, chum...

Fahrenheit211 has more.

Are There A Lot Of Pitbulls In Truro..?

I’m pretty sure when I holidayed there as a child, it was mostly collies, Labradors and terriers:

A Devon dog owner owes his life to his pet after a horrifying dog attack left him scalped and crawling on his hands and knees for help.

Peter Fitzgerald, from Malabar, Cornwall, was attacked last Saturday evening while walking his own dog, Kimbo. As he tried to pull his pet away from an attack by a loose pitbull-type dog, the snarling animal turned on him, pushing him to the ground and ripping the skin from his head. Kimbo leapt to his defence and scared the vicious animal away.

Covered in blood, the 58-year-old said he crawled on his hands and knees to the home of nearby residents who called the police and ambulance service.

Whew! Thank god he didn’t have a collie, Labrador or terrier himself, but rather something capable of seeing off the attacker...

Recovering at home from a three-hour operation that included having hundreds of stitches and staples in his scalp, he said he was left traumatised by the experience. He said: “If it hadn’t been for my dog helping me I would be dead. I suffered a broken neck a few years ago so I am limited in mobility and cannot lift my arms above my head so was unable to fight off this dog.

“It was absolutely horrific. I was covered in blood and could only crawl to get help.

“If that dog had attacked a child they would have been killed.”

And the police have acted, one hopes? Since they were called to the scene?

However he said that when he returned home on Monday he was told the dog was still walking the streets with its owner. He said: “That dog should not be allowed out as it is dangerous. I am a dog lover and would never want to see a dog put to sleep but that one is dangerous and could kill someone.”

Truro police want to speak to anyone with information about the animal.

*sighs*

This Is Why These Stories Get Published…

A pregnant young mum has been offered a house in Manchester by Bexley Council after her grandmother's death left her homeless.

And this isn’t quite your usual story, either:

Natasha Mullan was forced to move out of her step-grandfather's house in Bexley after her grandmother, who brought her up, died from cancer last year.

Due to him being a Muslim, she was forced to move out of his home in February as she is an unmarried, single mother.

Ummm, which she presumably was while her grandmother was alive. Given she’s not just pregnant, but also has a one-year-old?

Ms Mullan, who is mum to one-year-old Annabelle and 31 weeks pregnant with her second child, said: "Once the funeral was out of the way I had to move out as it's against his religion.

"It's not my fault, it's nobodies fault."

Really..? I mean, really…?!?

The 21-year-old has since been staying sleeping (sic) on friend's sofas after being told by Bexley Council that there are no suitable properties in the area but she could be offered a house 230 miles away.

She added: "My friends aren't being horrible when they're saying they can't have me there but it's not practical to someone living on your sofa.

"It's no life for my daughter either, not knowing where we're going to be next week.

"But we can't move to Manchester, it's ridiculous, I don't know anyone there.

"Annabelle's dad lives nearby here and we try and make it easy for her to have a relationship with him."

And if Annabelle’s dad had done the decent thing and married you (assuming he’s single) and provided you with a house, you wouldn’t need to be sponging off the taxpayer.

But he didn’t, so you are, so it’ll be the taxpayer that tells you where you can afford to live.

A spokesman for Bexley Council said: "Ms Mullan refused the offer of accommodation in the Manchester area, despite it being all that was available at that time.

"Where we can, temporary accommodation is provided in borough or in neighbouring boroughs such as Dartford or Gravesend.

"Due to the current housing pressures, on occasion our only option is to use accommodation that is further afield, including the Manchester area.

"As Ms Mullan turned down this offer, this meant our interim duty towards her was considered to be discharged."

Quite so. But hang on!

Since speaking to News Shopper Ms Mullan has now been accepted to bid for housing in Bexley via Bexley’s Home Choice system.

See? This is why these stories get taken to local newspapers, as a commenter noted on a previous story:

Because it works…

International Prize For....What?

Reproduced without comment....

Shall We Have A Whipround..?

...and buy the 'Galloway Gazette' a spellchecker?

H/T: Stephen Guy via email

Sunday Funnies....

*strokes chin* Yes, yes, seems plausible...

”How much is that doggy little girl in the window…”

Lots of tabloid reporting of the sad case of the grandparents deemed ‘too old’ to look after their granddaughter following her mother’s mental problems.

The full text of the judgement was released and immediately seized upon by social services apologists as ‘proving’ that age wasn’t a consideration, oh dear me no, it was the grandparent’s own poor childrearing that made mummy mad, and so of course the most logical thing to do was give the girl to total strangers. Your mileage might vary.

But this sentence stood out:

The Children’s Guardian said to me that if matters were put off she would be able to observe contact between C and the grandparents but at the present time C had had a final contact visit with her mother, that was on 5th June, and that C was now reconciled and prepared to moving on to a permanent placement. She had been told that she would not see her mother again and that communication would now be by writing letters. Miss Rosenthal said it would be very difficult for C to start unpicking this and looking at any further contact. She had reached a sense of closure and was being prepared and indeed looking forward to meeting a forever family.

A ‘forever family’? I wondered why that phrase jarred so much.

And then I realised why:

You may think, of course, that there's nothing wrong with treating children like unwanted puppies or kittens. But I'd respectfully disagree.

"I See No Ships Caravans..."

A Suffolk Police spokeswoman said: 'There was a small police presence near to an unauthorised traveller encampment on Grange Farm, Kesgrave on Thursday evening, following reports of community tension.

'No crime or disorder has been reported and police will continue to monitor the area.'

No crime other than appropriating land that doesn't belong to you?

A Facebook group - Kesgrave Traveller Awareness - was set up and already has nearly 4,000 members. One resident, who did not want to be named, said: 'The residents have blocked the Millennium Field, they've blocked Fentons Way, and access to the woodland.

Another resident said: 'As far as I am concerned, it's a good idea. I personally don't want travellers living 200 yards away from me. They've already made a mess of the other site and prevented the local community from using that green space.'

Ah, another crime. Fly tipping.

Suffolk Coastal District Council had pursued legal action to move the group and the case was brought before magistrates in Ipswich earlier this week. But it was adjourned until next week after a new Section 77 notice to evict them from the site had to be lodged.

It is understood the original notice only covered the original group which reportedly arrived on June 15, not the additional travellers which arrived a week later.

/facepalm

Despite the prospect of further legal action, the travellers maintained that they were unable to leave. Mr Delaney added: 'It is what it is. We cannot leave here until we get it sorted. We don't want to cause any hassle and we keep the place tidy and clean.'

But one resident added: 'I am pretty sure for the collective price of all those caravans they can buy some bit of land of their own to live on.

Quite!

Joseph Jones, spokesman for the Gypsy Council, said: 'I think it is the down to negativity in the media. People hear about travellers arriving and think of the stereotypes.

'It is up to residents how they want to behave. There is always people like that and there will always be people like that.

'If they are going, they are going to be in the area for only a short time.'

The residents aren't the ones that leave the area looking like a bombsite or open-air lavatory, are they?

...in a message to his constituents Tory MP Dr Dan Poulter said he hoped the travellers would be moved on 'in the very near future'.

He said: 'I am pleased to confirm that the Council is taking legal action to have the travellers removed from the site.

'But, as part of the legal process, Suffolk Coastal have come across a judge who appears to have some sympathy with the Travellers.

'I am hopeful that this situation can be successfully resolved and that we will have moved the travellers on in the very near future.'

Excellent! Let's see more criticism of the judicial system and less acceptance that the council's hands are tied. Because when the travellers' presence affects something the council has planned, then the evictions come so fast they make your head spin!

The 45-strong group turned up at the Dagenham park last night after being moved on from nearby Mayesbrook Park, just weeks after they were evicted from Castle Green.

Police used powers under section 61 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 to remove the travellers quickly.

That's this group. They didn't last more than 12 hours at this park. So councils can do it, if they want to...

During the eviction process there was a significant police and council presence with a council security staff located on every park gate throughout the borough to ensure that they could not relocate to another site.

A council spokeswoman said the One Borough One community day in Parsloes Park will run as scheduled, from 11am to 10pm tomorrow.

“We would like to reassure everyone that the event is going ahead as planned, we have security on site and we do not envisage any problems with the programmed activities,” she added.

So you know what to demand from your local council in future!

Unless You’re A Woman, Of Course…

Mr Cole said the question of alcohol abuse would be a central feature of the case, with the defendants and Mr Passmore all having long-standing problems.

He added: “The Crown says that when you attack someone repeatedly with both a knife and a pair of scissors, in the way that Mr Passmore was attacked, then at the very least there was an intent to inflict really serious harm.

“The relevance as far as alcohol is concerned is that a drunken intent is still an intent. You cannot hide behind alcohol and say that you were drunk so you didn’t know what you were doing.”

Unless you’re a woman crying rape after a drunken night’s encounter with what seems, in hungover daylight, a partner you wouldn’t have picked when sober.

Then, you totally can hide behind it! With the blessing of the criminal justice system…

Breeding The 'What Do You Mean, I Can't..?' Generation...

Mrs Tilbrook, who has three children at the school, feels children who don’t like drinking water should be given the option of having juice on hotter days.

Feel free to give them juice at home.

In school, they are subject to in loco parentis, which means the school takes on the role of parent. And seem to be doing a better job than you.

She said: “There needs to be a change as a lot of children are quite stubborn when it comes to drinking water and some kids would rather dehydrate than drink it and then come out of school with a headache.

Yes, children can be stubborn. That doesn't mean you give in. If they suffer headaches, it's their own damn fault. This is all part of learning about consequences.

“It’s not like we are asking to allow fizzy drinks. It’s just sugarfree squash the children want.

“I don’t think it would do any harm.”

When they grow up to be spoiled teenagers who can't cope with hearing the word 'No', it'll be too late then.

What’s In A Name Part 2: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Housing Estate…

Determined residents face another legal battle after Basildon Council revealed plans to appeal a judge’s decision over a controversial street renaming scheme.

Oh, good grief, not this again?

Phil Turner, leader of Basildon Council, told the Echo he had lodged an appeal because of concerns about a lack of detailed evidence being given at the original court case.

Oh, really..?

The Tory administration has serious worries about the emergency services not being able to find its way around the estate due to the complicated numbering system.

He said: “We have a duty of care for our residents and we need to go to appeal. ”

Ahahahahaha! I note that ‘duty of care’ towards your residents mysteriously doesn’t seem to come into play in other matters, Phil?

“At first I wasn't sure we should be spending taxpayers money on another court hearing, but when I took a step back and thought responsibly I realised we have to give it another chance. I can’t live with it on my conscience when it's a health and safety issue. ”

You have a conscience..?!?

“Normally if we win these cases we ask for costs from the other party, but we would be asking for money from our own residents. Let’s see what happens.

“I don’t want to make the residents lives a misery, and I do want to apologise.”

In other words ‘Nice estate you have here, be a shame if it cost you money, eh?’…

Frank Ferguson, Ukip councillor for Lee Chapel, put his own cash into funding the original legal battle. He branded the Tory administration the “Billericay Mafia”, claiming cabinet members do not care about Laindon because none of them live in the area.

Mr Ferguson said: “They are nothing short of a dictatorship – local people’s views, needs and aspirations are repeatedly ignored by an out of touch group of bully boys.”

Maybe something the voters might like to consider next time?

Better A Useless Crime Number Than A Toe-Tag…

Michael Adegbite, who also worked as a fitness instructor and football coach, was attacked after he advertised his secondhand MacBook on the popular classifieds website for £200.

He and a friend went to meet someone they believed was a buyer in Enfield on Sunday evening — but were confronted by three youths.

Detectives believe the men lured the 28-year-old to the rendezvous with the intention of mugging him for the laptop.

Mr Adegbite and his friend managed to snatch the laptop back and the suspects ran off.

Hurrah! So they called the police to report the theft, right?

Police say that a short time later, a second friend joined the victim and the three men set out to look for the group who had attempted to rob them.

*sighs*

Minutes later there was a confrontation and a scuffle in the street and Mr Adegbite was stabbed once in the chest.

He died at the roadside 30 minutes later despite frantic attempts by neighbours and paramedics to save his life.

Well, yes. This isn’t even bringing a knife to a gunfight, it’s bringing a burning sense of grievance to a knifefight!

A family friend told the Standard: “It’s just heartless. Michael never made trouble, he was one of the most peaceful men you could meet.

“He was just selling the laptop for a few hundred pounds online. It’s something people do every day and he was killed for it.”

No. He wasn’t. Was he?

He was killed for something quite different.

“But We’ll Release Him From Custody Anyway…”

Sentencing Nicholls for his new offences, Judge David Owen-Jones described him as a significant risk to children and members of the public and said there was the likelihood of serious harm and further sex offences if he was released from custody.

So, banged up for the rest of his life, right? Wrong.

Nicholls was told he would have to serve a minimum of ten years, then five years on licence if he was considered to be suitable for release after ten years.

*sighs*

He was also made the subject of a sexual harm prevention order.

He was already on the sex offenders register. What a lot of good that did...

So, The Government Is Cutting Unnecessary Waste, Is It..?

Two parental support charities are looking for volunteers to help fight obesity in children. Health Exercise Nutrition for the Really Young (HENRY) and Family Lives have received funding from the Department of Health to deliver a programme aimed at improving health for families and children.

Two (presumably) taxpayer-funded quangos are roping in the public to act as unpaid workforce?

Both groups need volunteers to work directly with families in improving their health and lifestyles. Those able to commit 3 hours per week will receive 5 days training to become Healthy Start Mentors.

Wow! Three hours per week! That’ll make all the difference!

Give The NHS A Big Hand, Folks!

...truly, it's the envy of the world:

The nurses involved, who cannot be named for legal reasons, are all still believed to be working at the hospital.

Of course they are..! /sarc

But why would anyone do such a thing? Well...

Ms Hearsey’s family claim nurses damaged the doll, called Rachel, to force her to do as they said when she was admitted following a fall.

Ah, the caring profession!

Chief executive of Walsall Healthcare NHS Trust Richard Kirby said: "We are very sorry that this incident occurred and would like to apologise to Ms Hearsey and her family.

"The trust conducted a thorough internal investigation immediately following the incident and spoke with Ms Hearsey's family to discuss their concerns.

"The outcome and actions taken following the investigation were also shared with the family to reassure them that appropriate action had been undertaken and controls put in place to ensure that this would not happen again.

"Once again, we offer our sincere apologies."

You you suppose thry have these things in draft ready to go, with just the unfortunates' name to be inserted? It must save time...

I Don’t Think It’s Just The Paperwork That Has Problems…

Koku’s sentencing was adjourned until July 22 due to problems with paperwork.

Presumably he has quite a big file:

Mr Shay said: “At hospital he began to behave very strangely. “He was swearing a lot, saying things which very much brought into question his mental health, suggesting things were in his anus.

“It was felt he wasn’t in any state to be interviewed.”

Koku also pleaded guilty to possession of a dangerous article and criminal damage after a similar incident three days earlier when officers found him standing on top of a garage with a can of deodorant and a lighter threatening to set fire to himself.

It took officers seven hours to persuade him to come down, with Koku threatening to cut his own throat and pouring flammable liquid over his jacket.

When in custody, Koku smeared his own faeces over the walls of his cell.

The court also heard Koku had been sentenced to three years at a young offenders’ institute in 2012 for false imprisonment, where he attacked a man with a brick and threatened to petrol bomb his house.

But at least he didn’t behead any grandmothers. Yet.

*Prays For Tsunami*

Campaigners will pitch 100 tents on Southend beaches next month in protest at the way rough sleepers are treated.

I hope they don’t forget about things like ‘tides’…

The Warrior Square Soup Kitchen, which feeds the homeless three times a week in the town, is behind a bid to shame Southend Council into doing more and says it will donate all the tents to rough sleepers after the protest.

The move comes after homeless people were spotted camping on Southend beaches and cliffs and it follows a call from Rochford and Southend East MP James Duddridge for the homeless to be moved on, after labelling them “homeless campers holidaying by the sea”.

That’s because the ones the ‘Echo’ talked to demonstrably were…

Jo Bates from the soup kitchen said: “We are confident we will have at least 100 people sleeping in tents on the beach and we will then give them to the homeless. Unless the council is going to give these people homes the problem is not going to go away.

“Not all of the homeless are drunks or drunk addicts.

“They can’t get benefits because they don’t have homes and they can’t get homes as they don’t have benefits. Something has to be done to help them. These are human beings and have rights too.

“There is no law to stop people sleeping on the beach. Just because they are homeless doesn’t mean they are any less of a person."

Actually, that’s exactly what it often does mean.

And what makes them ‘less of a person’ is the fact they aggressively beg for money and defecate and urinate in the street.

David Norman, councillor responsible for housing, said: “I am concerned about the safety of anyone sleeping or camping outside, or on the beach and close to water.

“It is important for those involved this is resolved as quickly as it can be. With that in mind I would absolutely discourage any protesters from camping on the beach. A supportive and proactive approach is being taken and we are looking at each situation on a case-by-case basis.

“According to Government legislation, it would not be appropriate to give housing priority to people who do not have a connection to Southend.

“In order to qualify for council housing, it is necessary to have lived in Southend for at least three years.”

And that means ‘in a house’. Not in a tent on the beach.

Another /Golfclap For Essex Police...

“Devastated” Mrs Stevens said she had rung the police 18 times on the Wednesday and Thursday, requesting officers come out to assess the situation, look at the dead dog and decide whether any action needed to be taken over the two terriers.

However, she said she was told the matter was “not important”, claiming her son-in-law had been told by one officer that “it was only a dog”.

Essex Police was unable to confirm this, however a spokeswoman for the force admitted that officers had been unable to respond.

Bet they'd have been round quick enough if one neighbour had slagged another off on FaceBook...

Being Muslim - Yr Doin' It Wrong...

Errr....

Oh, 'Guardian'...

Even your survey contractors can't write in understandable English...

...though it's nice to see you have your gender priorities all straight and correct!

Sunday Funnies...

Well, to be fair, if you're looking for relationship advice from this source, you're pretty far gone...

‘Cradle To Grave’ Care On The Taxpayer’s Dime..?

Vulnerable young people should be allowed to stay in care until they are aged 25, the government's children's commissioner for England has said.

I…

I just…

A survey of nearly 3,000 children and young adults found nearly a third had felt forced to fend for themselves too early, Anne Longfield said.

She said most parents would not "wave goodbye" to children at 18 and "we shouldn't do so for children in care".

Why not..? The stats seem to show that children in the tender hands of the State don’t fare any better than those left with abusive or neglectful parents, so why extend the duration?

Ms Longfield - who took up her post as children's commissioner in March - said there were about 69,000 children in care in the UK. She said it was "unacceptable" that about half of those youngsters were confused about why they were in care.

Yes, that’s unacceptable. You’d think the least the State could manage was to advise their wards accordingly!

Failure To Understand Why The Poll Tax Was Unpopular…

Middle class families will be forced to pay more for the licence fee than poor households under plans for a Finnish-style means tested broadcasting levy to pay for the BBC.

John Whittingdale, the Culture Secretary, will today publish a green paper which will propose “root and branch reform” of the BBC as part of its royal charter renewal.

Mr Whittingdale’s green paper will open the door to a replacement for the £145.50 licence fee, which he has previously described as being “worse than the poll tax”.

Oh, really? Well, I thought the poll tax was quite a progressive tax (in the good sense of the word ‘progressive’), but one of the reasons it brought anarchy to the streets was that those that had previously flown beneath the radar and mooched off their parents or others without paying anything were suddenly made accountable.

And it looks like this is going to happen again, if this proposal goes ahead:

Under the Finnish system, everyone in the country is required to pay the licence even if they do not have a television.

It means that there can be multiple payers of the levy in a single household.

Pity Teresa ruled out those water cannons, eh?

And What Sort Of Range Would This Be…?

Two years ago developers gained permission to turn the Grade II listed, East Street site into 13 flats and a restaurant, but no one has taken on the running of the eatery. Now architects BB Partnership are trying to convert the empty ground floor space and basement into three flats.

“They’ve obviously had difficulty in finding suitable tenants and so they want to have flats there as well,” said Tony Richardson, 78, who has lived in Barking since 1954.

“There are a lot of places selling junk food, but we could do with a really nice, decent restaurant with a range of foods to suit a range of religions,” said the Wilmington Gardens resident.

I suspect that’d be hard to find. Especially if we throw Jains into the mix.

And, c’mon, it’s Barking. It’s hardly surprising no-one in their right mind says ‘Oh, yeah! The place with the great cuisine!’, is it?

Mr Richardson also opposed the loss of original features that the first application would have entailed, but was reconciled to the second amended one that was approved. The latest submission for changed useage and listed consent, though, is the final straw for the retired law lecturer.

“It’s completely inappropriate, the applicants should not be permitted to depart from the authorised use,” he said.

“Suitable tenants can almost certainly be found if the applicants will curb their greed so that the lease and the rent reserved by it are such as to make a restaurant a viable proposition.”

In other words, they should be prepared to accept a lower return on their investment just to suit some old codger who happens to live in the area. I can’t imagine why they don’t, can you?

‘Homeless’ – You Keep Using That Word…

…I do not think it means what you think it means:

Homeless people are camping out on a Southend beach because they have nowhere else to go.

Oh noes!

Tents and sleeping bags have been spotted on the beach opposite the Premier Inn on Eastern Esplanade.

Hmmm. Hang on. Doesn’t that happen every summer, when the weather’s nice?

Camping out on the beach were mum and son Jacqueline and Paul Williams, who have come from Northamptonshire.

Paul, 33, said: “My mum was recently made homeless and I’m travelling with her to make sure she’s OK because she’s recently been diagnosed with cancer.

“Everyone’s been cool with us being here, though we had a bit of hassle with someone saying we weren’t allowed to camp on the beach.

“We will probably stay another four or five days, depending what the weather’s like. I want to see all the coasts of the country.”

Right. So that’s more of a camping holiday, isn’t it? Only the mum is supposedly homeless. We have no data about the son.

One of the groups working with people sleeping on the seafront has been Southend Street Spirit. Member Caroline Fricker said: “We go out Saturday nights and we did help one person to move their tent off the beach because everything was wet inside.

“A lot of these people are looking for somewhere to hide because it’s getting very difficult to find anywhere that’s safe and away from the crowds.”

So they come to a crowded beach resort in high summer..?!?

Who is it they are supposed to be ‘hiding’ from, anyway? Is it the JobCentre?

A Telling Phrase…

A council spokesman said the school has apologised. “The school has dealt with many of Ms Harrison’s complaints, which are now concluded,” he said.

“It is happy to continue with the process with those that remain unresolved. It has apologised for any mistakes it has made.”

Put in a lot of complaints, does she?

Kate Harrison said Eastbury Comprehensive School, which won an award for kindness in February, subjected daughter Rosie to flash photography in November despite knowing her condition.

“She was flashed about 30 times,” Kate said. “She’d taken her hair down because she wasn’t feeling very well – that’s a warning sign in her care plan. She carries the risk of death – if that seizure had continued and got worse she would have fallen down, banged her head and she could’ve died.”

This seems to be written as if the child herself is incapable of recognising the danger and removing herself from the area or telling someone about it.

And after having the fit, Rosie was sent unaccompanied to find help and left suffering for three hours before the Barking school eventually called her mum. This was the second time Rosie had been left alone after a fit, after the same thing happened in October.

And despite the seizure, the Hulse Avenue school used flash photography near Rosie twice more – once in the school canteen and again in the library.

This is most odd. Surely the school is not so huge that all teachers can’t be made aware of the issue? 

But maybe there’s more to this than simple epilepsy:

But Kate said problems predate this, when she claims school teacher Natasha Lillywhite gave her the nickname “dozy Rosie” . And when Kate complained that her daughter’s specially-designed educational care plan wasn’t being followed, the school gave Rosie three 11-year-old supervisors.

And it’s not just Rosie who’s suffered – her sister Stephanie, 13, was barred from a ski trip to Ypres after a dispute over a hurt ankle. After complaining to the school, Kate was told Stephanie would not be able to attend the ski trip because she had “broken trust” and would now have to earn it back.

Hmmm…

“I’ve followed every complaint process at each stage I’ve communicated with them,” Kate said.

“Every single thing is very serious – but I’ve just been brushed away.

“They need to be held accountable for what they’ve done.”

And you’re doing that by …. appearing in the pages of your local newspaper?

Clearly, Exeter Is More Dangerous Than I Thought…

His solicitor Caroline Salvatore told Exeter magistrates that Gillmore is a schizophrenic with pyschosis and had been held in Exeter Jail for his own protection.

She said the blade slipped from the book and door staff struggled with Gillmore who was restrained on the ground.

She added that the blade was ‘to protect him from harm’ and that her client was ‘thought disordered’.

So, not the sort of person who ought to be wandering around on their own?

The magistrates jailed him for four months after taking his guilty plea into account.

Gillmore’s ex wife was at the back of the court and was shocked by the jail term saying: ”What ? I absolutely cannot believe that.”

Me neither, love. I thought they’d simply suspend his sentence!

It Shouldn’t Happen To An Artist!

He was arrested on the platform after getting off at Camden Road.

"She said I'm abstracting electricity," he said.

"She kept saying it's a crime.

"We were just coming into the station, and there happened to be about four police officers on the platform.

"She called to them and said 'This guy's been abstracting electricity, he needs to be arrested'."

Understandable shock at the effrontery of these officers, totally understandable. As an artist of no renown whatsoever, helping yourself to anything you can get (provided by other people) must be second nature…

Mr Lee says he tried to push past the officers but was handcuffed on the platform, taken down the stairs and put into a van.

Funny, isn’t it, the things that happen when you resist arrest?

"I was just incredulous," he said.

"It was an overzealous community support officer.

"They should never have arrested me, they knew it was ridiculous. The whole thing was just ridiculous."

Yup, it’s ridiculous to think you can get away with it and claim you're the injured party, you freeloader.

Actually, Duwayne, That’s As Far As Everybody Was Concerned…

Mr Brooks, who was made OBE (Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire) in this year's Birthday Honours List, had said there was a risk someone could end up getting shot as they pulled out one of the cases to show police it wasn't a gun.

"We've seen that with Duggan," he said. "As far as police were concerned, he had a gun."

Because he did indeed have a gun. A real one.

No, No, It’s Not That Sort Of ‘World Of Adventures’…

Gary Stewart, 53, of Woodgate Avenue, Chessington, pleaded guilty earlier this month to having the weapon, designed to look like a camouflaged hunting rifle, in the theme park's overspill car park in January.

He was with friend Andrew Moore, 39, of Barnfield Gardens, Kingston, who also pleaded guilty to having an airgun but denied breaching licensing conditions relating to another matter.

Stewart said Moore was showing him the rifle and how it fired because he was thinking of buying one and he “knew more about them”.

Oh, good grief! And you couldn’t think of a better place to do this, than a public car park?

Magistrate Carole Hopkins said: “We find this to be a serious offence, so serious because you were where members of the public frequent. ”

Yes, yes, hoplophobes all, but seriously, have a bit of common sense, chaps!

The Dumbing Down Of Education Continues…

GCSE students are to study the writings of…

Shakespeare..? Dickens..?

… Southend anti-poverty campaigner, cookery writer and blogger Jack Monroe.

*puzzled face*

The former Echo reporter’s blog posts on social deprivation, Hunger Hurts and I Can’t Even Open My Own Front Door have been put on the syllabus for 14 and 15-year-olds across the country.

What next, selections from the ‘Beano’..?

Announcing her writing’s inclusion on the exam syllabus on Facebook, she said: “Just got a letter to say two of my pieces of writing are going to be taught for GCSE English.

“Don’t really know how to react to this one, except I suspect it’s a very good thing that 14 and 15-year-olds up and down the country will have to study harrowing, first-hand accounts of poverty in Britain and therefore may be a generation that doesn’t try to deny its existence.”

Or might be a generation that thinks ‘Hmmm, better not get up the duff by some unsuitable bloke, then chuck my job in and spend so much money on tattoos I can’t afford food’.

I Think The Dangers Aren’t Just To Him…

A mother and campaigner warned parliamentarians about the dangers cuts to care budgets pose to adults with autism.

Oh..?

Mary Langan, from campaign group Save Autism Services Haringey, spoke to a cross party delegation at the All Party Parliamentary Group about her son James and his difficult transition into adulthood.

Ms Langan described the difficulties the family faced as James, 23, moved from residential schooling to supported community living. James became increasingly violent towards others and himself, which she claims is due to a lack of structured support and skilled personnel.

This resulted in him being arrested on one occasion, being removed from a college placement and banned from public transport, his local pub, a swimming pool and a supermarket.

Ah. Right.

This is, of course, very little to do with ‘austerity’ – if he’s a danger to himself and to others, then he needs to be cared for appropriately.

Maybe ‘living in the community’ isn’t the best option?

The problem, according to Ms Langan and her fellow campaigners, is the move from school into the community, where there is a lack of structure and too little support for people like James.

Ms Langan said: “Here we encounter the major current crisis of care in the community; the head on collision between the aspirations of the Autism Act and the Care Act and the harsh realities of austerity, particularly the drastic cuts in local government spending on adult social care.

“Our message for parliamentarians is this: It is impossible to reconcile the interests of people with autism and the current scale of cuts in adult social care.

“Current policies will inevitably result in more scandals and horror stories, but the real burden will be borne by people like James and families like ours.”

Yes, when James saws the head off an innocent woman in the street, he’ll be the real victim…

"Police said the move was suggested by the Crown Prosecution Service but the CPS denied this."

I'm inclined to agree with the CPS. It's not as if the police don't have form in this sort of thing after all, is it?

The award-winning journalist set up hidden cameras that captured Dr Colin Ferrie snorting cocaine and an illegal party drug.

But despite the reporter handing the footage over to detectives and offering to help with their case, West Yorkshire Police last week called him in for questioning as a suspect.

He was interviewed under caution at a police station on suspicion of voyeurism and supplying drugs, and even asked if he had made the secret film for his own sexual gratification.

I can see why the police ran scared of someone with the potential for waving the race card, but I can't see why a Scottish pediatrician should get this level of protective harassment of a journalist.

Can anyone else?

It's A Little Unclear...

...just who is holding whom, isn't it?

Ahhhh, The Sophisticated North...

Errr, wait...

Sunday Funnies...

I'm not sure all of these deserve to be on the travel itinerary...

Well, Now The Biters Are Being Bit...

The son of a prominent Tory MP and former deputy mayor was beaten up and left unconscious in a vicious attack by a “girl gang” in Leicester Square while security guards “looked on”.

The 'girls' are pictured. I leave it to you, dear reader, to decide if they deserve this description...

Naturally, his mother was quick to show she was one of Cameron's NuTories, by demanding anything but the immediate crackdown on gangs that London needs:

His mother, newly elected Kensington MP Victoria Borwick, a former deputy mayor to Boris Johnson, today called for more “safe havens” or places of safety to be set up in London after she told how her son had been pushed out of the fast food restaurant by the security guards and was then allegedly refused help by bouncers at the nearby Grosvenor Casino.

Sheesh! That's like dealing with a rabid dog problem by demanding a rabid dog shelter on each street corner...

“The fact was that he couldn’t find a place of safety. This sort of thing happens all the time, I don’t want to make a fuss about this more than any other incident, it’s all part of street crime. But when you go out in London you want to feel safe and you want your children to be safe.”

When did street crime become something people accepted, as if it were weather?

Also in London:

A good Samaritan today told how 25 teenagers threatened to stab him as he saved a cyclist from losing his bike in a gang mugging.

Terrible, terrible, the poor ma...

Oh.

Mr Anderson, who works for the charity Kids Company...

/facepalm

...said police initially told him there was nothing they could do because the incident happened on the gang’s “turf”. The attackers are believed to belong to the LFC (London Fields Crew).

Maybe police said that because they recognised him from a previous incident?

Last year Mr Anderson was sprayed in the face with paint, was cut with keys being thrust into his neck and had his voicebox stamped on after telling youths to stop spraying graffiti in Broadway market.

Ah, the little scamps!

“The police need to start answering questions about what is being done about gang culture in this area,” he said.

Wait, what? The police need to..?

Maybe your involvement in a charity (currently in the media spotlight for all the wrong reasons) that seeks to coddle and cosset these street rats and proclaim them victims might have a part to play too?

“I said to a couple of the boys: ‘Walk away from these gangs you are in.’ I feel sorry for these kids.”

*stunned disbelief*

Still, nice to see the people who help create the environment for these vermin to thrive starting to realise they too can be in the line of fire. More please, faster!

When Speaking The Uncomfortable Truth Makes You A ‘Bigot’…

…even if you’re the same race as those you are criticising:

A British-Asian peer has been accused of bigotry after she claimed that marriages between first cousins in Pakistani communities were leading to “absolutely appalling” disabilities among children.

Indisputably so. She’s not the only peer to have ever raised this, either.

Lady Flather, the first female Asian peer, told the Lords during a debate on ethnic minorities: “There are a lot of first-cousin marriages in certain communities, particularly among Pakistanis who come from the Pakistani Kashmir area.

“We know so much about DNA now, but there is so much disability among the children, which is absolutely appalling. You go to any such family and there will be four or five children, at least one or two of whom will have some disability. That is absolutely unacceptable, and if we cannot do anything about it, is it fair to the children? ”

And usually, a cry of ‘We must think of the chiiiildreeen!’ would resonate with everyone. Or so you’d think:

The 81-year-old peer, who was born in the Pakistani city of Lahore when it was still part of India, said: “Never mind the parents – it is not fair to the children that they should be allowed to become disabled because of a social practice.

“It is a social practice which does not belong in today’s age, when we know so much about DNA. There should at least be some rule which says that you must have a DNA examination before your marriage can be registered.”

But this sensible approach was immediately torpedoed by the usual suspects. First up, a ‘conservative’ that clearly was desperate to prove his credentials as one of Cameron’s pets:

The baroness was rebuked by the Conservative peer, Lord Sheikh, who said parts of her speech were “unfair and irrelevant” and “will not help community cohesion in this country” .

Will willful blindness help with community cohesion, then? Or shocking, avoidable deformity?

The Muslim Council of Britain said she had “a bee in her bonnet about British Muslims generally and those of Asian heritage in particular”.

It said: “Her consistent bigotry has unfortunately forfeited the right to be taken seriously.”

Hey, MCB, if ‘consistent bigotry’ is sufficient to disqualify someone from being taken seriously, why on earth is anyone still listening to you..?

I’m Not Sure Why There’s Such Disbelief, It’s All Too Common…

Drivers reacted with disbelief yesterday after they were pulled over by police to take part in a highways department census.

Massive tailbacks developed because of the Highways Agency survey taking place on the A27 in Lancing, and on the A283 near Dacre Gardens, Upper Beeding, and the A24 north of Offington Roundabout, Worthing.

But last night, despite admitting they had caused motorists misery and apologising, warned “there’s more to come” .

Sounds depressingly familiar…

The Highways Agency said it was gathering data ahead of the government’s pledge to transform the A27 with a £350 million investment to the Worthing/Sompting/Lancing stretch of the road, with the option of a full dual carriageway the favoured solution.

A spokesman added they did not publicise the survey to avoid skewing the data.

In other words, if they’d announced it, people would have avoided the area!

Well, maybe the data is vital. What are they asking?

Motorists were asked for their addresses, where they were travelling to, where from, why they were making the journey and with whom.

Why is any of that necessary? This is 2015 – isn’t there a digital solution to monitor traffic flow volumes?

You Cannot Have Your Cake And Eat It…

Alice’s family say they do not want their daughter’s death exploited by anti-immigration groups: “We believe in freedom of movement and human rights, as did Alice, and we repeat our request that her death not be appropriated by those with an anti-immigration agenda.

“We live in a multicultural and multifaith area, and our community has been extraordinary in its unity, sympathy, compassion and support for our family since our daughter was taken from us in this brutal and senseless way.”

Well, unfortunately, every policy has good and bad – multiculturalism, immigration and the EU’s freedom of movement bring with them good things (your neighbours) and bad things (your daughter’s killer).

It’s impossible to have one without the other.

The Gross family are being supported by the civil rights group Liberty.

Emma Norton, a solicitor for Liberty, said: “This government wants to monitor all emails or mobile phones, but does not want to know if someone has a murder conviction. A murder conviction is something the authorities ought to know about.

“The state has a positive obligation to protect people from a known risk, in this case someone who was a violent offender.”

Someone who had murdered his wife. Does that make him a known risk to schoolgirls unknown to him? I’m not convinced.

Even if the authorities had possessed that information, what are they suggesting might have been done with it that would have prevented this murder, of a complete stranger, that wouldn’t have breached his right to free movement within the EU member states?

Norton added: “What happened to Alice appears to have come about, in part, because the authorities knew nothing about this man. Alice’s family want to know why this was the case. Did an information-sharing system break down? Does it even exist? Whatever the answer, they want to do something about it.”

But yet they want that ‘something’ to be immigration-friendly. And I think that’s a circle they just can’t square.

How Failure To Deal With A Problem At Source Passes It To Others…

London:

Hundreds of London schoolchildren are being given lessons on how to control dogs as the number of offences involving dangerous breeds surges to record levels.

Experts from Blue Cross animal charity have been called in to more than 300 schools, pupil referral units and youth offending teams in the capital and the South-East to stop teenagers using dogs as weapons.

Liverpool:

Merseyside Police launched their dog bite awareness campaign today with the help of a robotic dog at Four Oaks Primary School in Anfield.

The reception children were taught how to behave around dogs in preparation for the summer holidays, when police reports of dog bites usually see an increase.

Police used a robotic dog called Fred to demonstrate how to behave around the animals to ensure children are not bitten.

So police failure to rid the streets of dangerous animals leaves school to find some spare time in their hectoring nanny-state schedule to cover the issue. Marvellous!

And note the different approach too – London insisting the dog owner bears the responsibility, Liverpool (realising the futility of expecting this from its population) teaching potential victims how to alleviate the risk.

So, It’s The 99% Of Incompetent Or Corrupt Police That Give The Rest A Bad Name, Is It..?

The force has since apologised for his wrongful arrest stating they acted on PC Sturgess’s “erroneous information”.

The IPCC report found she had a case of gross misconduct to answer. However, she resigned before internal proceedings could be started. Although she cannot be subject to internal disciplinary proceedings, the IPCC said Sussex Police should have pursued a criminal investigation for assault and perverting the course of justice.

While the time limit has now passed for pursuing the former, the latter is still available to them – and the IPCC has recommended they look into it. However, the force has ruled this out.

Have they? Have they, indeed? How very fortuitous…

Detective sergeant J McGorry, who responded to the IPCC findings in a police report, said: “The available evidence does not sufficiently demonstrate that the actions of Joanne Sturgess intended to pervert the course of justice.

“While it is not questioned that the content of her witness statement is significantly contradicted by the CCTV evidence... it is my assessment that the evidence available still does not indicate that the actions of Joanne Sturgess amount to the deliberate commission of a criminal act.”

And is your assessment as dubious as the decisions made by the rest of the fine officers involved in this case, DS McGorry? If so, I think another force ought to review it forthwith.

Following the IPCC report, Sussex Police paid Mr Albaja £15,700 in compensation.

No. They haven’t. The local council taxpayer has paid it.

It should come out of the Chief Inspector’s own pocket, where it’s decided not to continue with a criminal charge on the officers involved. That would concentrate minds, wouldn’t it?

Gaming 1995: "Heroes Of Might And Magic" (Dell 486)

The first top-down turn-based strategy game I ever played (‘Civilisation’ left me cold, though my brother played it constantly), my brother recommended this one to me, and I must have played it all the way up to the fifth iteration.

But the original was always the best, despite the increasingly snazzy graphics of the sequels.



It was easy to pick up, didn't require too steep a learning curve, and the quite basic graphics were actually rather charming. It fueled my taste for these, and without it, I might never have picked up later strategy-type games like 'Command & Conquer'.

“It Was Alexander Denny, NOT In The Library, With The Metal Object…”

A violent offender walked out of Ford Open Prison attacked a man on his doorstep before heading back to jail telling officers 'I have been in the library'.

Alexander Denny, 26, was already serving an indeterminate prison sentence for GBH in HMP Ford at the time of the incident on June 18 2014. He absconded for an hour during which time he approached the victim's home in Ford Lane, Ford, at around 11.30am that morning.

Denny knocked on the front door before forcing his way in, attacking the 50-year-old owner with a metal object. A small amount of cash and a watch were taken.

So…how did they foil his oh-so-cunning plan?

Forensics were able to identify him by DNA left on a dust mask at the scene, which he had taken from the engineering department that he worked in.

As well as 12 years in jail, Denny was also given a further five years on license.

If it’s once more in an open prison, they might as well not bother…

Everyone Who Votes ‘No’ Should Be Made To Sit On A Piss-Soaked, Filthy Bench…

City of York Council has placed six metal bars on two bus stop benches, in Rougier Street, following a number of complaints, however the move has sparked a backlash.

A petition calling for the bars to be removed has already gathered more than 1400 signatures.

Other bars, labelled as "anti-homeless" have already been placed inside a shelter at the railway station.

If objecting to sitting on a seat soaked in tramp’s urine is ‘anti-homeless’, then I’m anti-homeless and proud!

One local charity worker said: "If it's a decision that comes from the council it should be a decision that supports the homeless strategy already in place.

"They should be putting more provisions into the homeless projects already and make it easier to approach us, instead of spending money on spikes and bars.

"It's not a very welcoming or supportive measure for the homeless and projects the wrong picture totally or take into consideration the needs people have when they are homeless."

And what about the needs people have when they are waiting for a bus?

Lisa Ledgeway, from York, said: "It's disgusting. More should be done to help the homeless, there should be more shelters.

"Build small cubicles with their own key. They need warmth and shelter now."

You can’t force people into shelters – most (sensibly) won’t take junkies and nuisance drinkers.

Jeanette Munday added: "This is totally wrong, barbaric in fact.

"Everyone has the right to sleep and homelessness is not always a choice.

"At least there is cover here so a dry night can be had. The bars are a disgrace."

No, what’s a disgrace is an elderly or disabled person having to choose between standing while waiting for a bus, or sitting in a seat covered with unmentionable bodily fluids.

Steve Waddington, Assistant Director for Housing and Community Safety, said: “Following complaints about anti-social behaviour in this area the council consulted with partners about these problems and was advised that the most appropriate action was to either remove the benches entirely or fit them with arms.

“Removing the benches would have an effect on all bus users, so the action taken this month was to put arms on the benches/ bars underneath them. The aim of introducing these measures was about deterring recurrent anti-social behaviour by people who gather in this location.

“Through the ASB Hub we are taking a multi-agency approach to ensure that we are engaging with rough sleepers and are able to offer the support people need, whether that be in terms of finding accommodation or health provision.”

A lot of words, there. ‘Sod off, offendotrons!’ would have been quicker.

Send For Officer Krupke!

People are said to be "terrified" as the gang, known as Dem Africans, have become "kings of the street" on the estate in Bedevere Road and Galahad Road - within 500m of Edmonton police station.

Bilal Ahmed, who visits his partner in Bedevere Road, fears for the safety of people in the area and says people are terrified of the gang.

He said: "They have taken over the area and made themselves kings of the street, they have used the green space for their own. It’s terrifying for people round here.

"When I visit from Golders Green, I am always concerned about the number of people hanging around on the street, like they are ruling the place."

Blimey! It’s not like The Jets and The Sharks, is it?

According police.com figures for the first four months of 2015, there have been 121 reported crimes in the surrounding area including 18 crimes in April in Bedevere Road alone.

A total of 29 of those crimes have been violent, with another 25 being anti-social behaviour.

And what does our fearless police farce have to say?

Detective Inspector Chris Rixon of the Enfield Borough Gangs Unit said: "Gang related violence will not be tolerated. Enfield Borough has an enthusiastic gangs unit, working with partners, who are dedicated to disrupting any criminal activity and bringing offenders to justice."

They don’t seem enthusiastic about wandering the 500m to have a little look for themselves, do they?

Nee Naw, Nee Naw, It's The (Selective) Morality Police!

Officers said it was 'completely unacceptable' after members of the public made offensive remarks as officers tried to help the woman to safety.

Yes, it's another bloody broadside from our moral guardians because someone dared to suggest that maybe they weren't fully behind the police's SoP of 'massively inconvenience all those working stiffs so someone can get some attention'...

Over at Tim Worstall's blog, this prompted the usual suspects to flaunt their sanctimoniousness and heap scorn on the motorists, plus anyone who thought it was a bit overstepping the bounds for a police spokesman to consider morality lectures to be part of her job.

Oddly, this incident got far more coverage than this one, despite the former being both completely understandable and excusable:

In shocking scenes, passers-by who gathered to watch interfered and heckled as the officers' battled to save his life in West Croydon, police said today.

And yet these street scum, who didn't even have the excuse of being inconvenienced in the slightest, drew no such moral condemnation:

Chief Supt Tarrant said: "This was outstanding work in what were extremely difficult circumstances, compounded by the extreme heat.

"Even with a volatile crowd the officers managed to keep their resolve and continue administering first aid to an excellent standard, resulting in the man's life being saved.

"The officers should be very proud of themselves, displaying outstanding professionalism and acting in the best traditions of the Met Police."

'Volatile'..? No moral judgement there, is there? It's almost as if he's afraid to condemn their actions.

Nor here, either:

A spokesman said: 'This man was spoken to by officers with consideration given to relevant legislation and a decision was taken by officers at the time that the man was acting within the law. He was not arrested.'

Hmmm. Seems the police moral compass needs a bit of recalibration.

Fear & Tremble At The Awful Consequences!

Mrs Justice Carr told Jenkins: 'At the time of the attack you were in the grip of psychosis as a result of illegal drug taking on a a daily basis and you deliberately withheld information from your GP.

'Once (sic) can only hope that you understand the consequences of drug taking.'

Yeah. It means you can slash the throats of two children as they sleep and get told by a judge that you won't get sent to prison...

Her lawyer Patrick Harrington QC told the court: 'She vociferously asserts she is living a decent honest life now.

'She has tested negative in every drug test and then indications are she is not taking any substances.'

When are we going to treat drug-induced mental illness as separate from other forms of mental illness? The latter is no-one's fault. The former is most definitely your own fault.

How Do Delivery Drivers Consider Her, That's The Question..!

Gareth Price, defending, said his client had no previous convictions and considered herself a responsible dog owner.

"It will be my client's intention to seek the return of the dogs on the basis they are not a danger to the public," said Mr Price.

Just to pizza delivery men...

She was committed on bail to Preston Crown Court to be sentenced after the magistrates ruled their powers of punishment were insufficient.

What's So Brave About This..?

...I mean, I'd happily tackle someone if I had a huge knife. Wouldn't you?

Errr. I Don't Think So, 'Radio Times'....

As any fule know, they ain't steel...