She Can't Stay In The Closet, It's Not Big Enough...

As you might know if you read my columns, see me a mile away, or talk to me for five seconds, I am a card-carrying lifelong member of the Fat Lesbian Club.

I wonder what sort of cards they carry… 

However, ever since I first laid eyes on the television show Roseanne (very important to me) as a small child, the actor John Goodman has held a special place in my heart. It was confusing for me: did I want to be Dan Conner, or be with Dan Conner? I’m still not sure. He has always been so hot to me, from Dan on Roseanne to Fred Flintstone to Walter in The Big Lebowski. His body has now drawn attention in the last week or so, after a photo of him showing significant weight loss went viral.

He looked ill. Of course the media was rife with speculation. 

It’s not Goodman’s 74-year-old body (his choice) I want to discuss, but instead the arguments that broke out about how he lost the weight. On one side there were many people congratulating him on his hard work. Then there were people claiming he had taken Ozempic so it wasn’t actually hard work, and then there were people defending that by saying he’d been losing weight for years, so he’d done it the “right way”, actually.

I don’t know the details and I don’t care, but none of this is good.

For someone who ‘doesn't care’ you’re rather dwelling on it.

I’m a fat person. We are constantly badgered and tortured by a society that tells us to lose weight, at all costs. If you’re fat, that’s a moral failing: you’re lazy and unhealthy.

Society has spent decades telling fat people that our value depends on our ability to control our weight. Now there is medicine that can make that control easier, and suddenly the problem is not the weight but whether the person has suffered sufficiently to “deserve” it. People resent us for being fat, and they resent us for getting thin.

My god, ‘Not The Nine O’clock News’ was spot on, wasn’t it? 

I Shouldn't Worry...

Some lifts could now be unsafe as manufacturers have failed to adjust their stated capacities in line with soaring obesity rates, experts warn.

I’ve yet to be in a lift where the sign has any bearing on reality! 

Elevators are required to display signs showing the maximum number of people they can carry but these have not been updated for over two decades. It means they are increasingly at risk of being overloaded even when they are transporting the number of passengers they have supposedly been built for, a conference heard.

Manufacturers' assumption that each person fills a floor area shaped like a small oval is also outdated as bulging waistlines mean many are now big and round, he added.

The lifts in my building claim 24 as maximum capacity, but even for normal sized people, that could realistically only be achieved by several of us sitting on the shoulders of others! Why is it a subject of concern for a conference, anyway?

'What's more, suggesting more people can fit in a lift than is comfortable is stigmatising people living with obesity.' 

*sigh* I might have known…bet they didn’t serve carrot sticks and water for lunch at this conference!

Haven't They Seen The NHS Poster Campaigns?

A growing number of doctors across a wide range of specialties have done away with routine patient weigh-ins...

What?! Why? 

...in an effort to avoid weight shaming, but others argue this obscures a critical health metric.

Well, d'uh!  

Patients are typically weighed as a first step at a routine doctor visit. But the standard practice is increasingly falling out of favor as more and more people say this makes others feel shame about their weight, which sends them running from the doctor, even when they’re having health issues.

Just not running very fast, or very far? 

Nowadays, patients can deny consent to be weighed, even handing over business cards with bold lettering saying, ‘Please Don’t Weigh Me Unless It’s (Really) Medically Necessary. ' This is an effort from an eating disorder advocacy group to empower patients.

Doctors simply need to say 'It IS medically necessary' and point to the medical diploma on the wall.

 Christ, what the hell is wrong with the medical profession? First they pandered to the men who think they are women, and now - despite the NHS obesity guidance that surrounds them in their working lives - they are pandering to the 'fat is beautiful' nutters too?

When the next pandemic hits, who is going to listen to a word they say?

Nothing New Under The Sun...

Suitably Mounted was launched in July in response to concern about the growing number of equestrians riding horses for which they are deemed to be too heavy.

Has Lizzo taken up pony-trekking or something? 

The group, which is made up of vets, scientists and welfare officers, as well as representatives from the British Horse Society, was formed after welfare officers found they were increasingly feeling it necessary to ask overweight riders to dismount during shows.

It hopes to encourage equestrian bodies and riding schools to provide equipment to allow both riders and horses to be weighed, as well as giving staff the confidence to challenge riders who they feel may be unsuitably mounted.

Who uses which set of scales, I wonder!? Still, if it's a cadre of suitably-qualified vets and horsey-types then who am I to poke fu.. 

Group chair, social scientist Dr Tamzin Furtado, from the University of Liverpool...

Oh. 

...said: 'We are finding that mis-matched riders and mounts is becoming an increasing problem.

'This is partly a weight issue, because as a society, we are getting heavier than we've ever been.

'But we are also finding an increasing number of adults riding children's ponies in an attempt to help get their children's mounts 'worked in' and calmer at shows before the children get on.'

I never saw that in a Thelwell cartoon! 

'We have found that a lot of equestrian organisations would welcome a rider size/weight welfare standard, but were unsure how to go about it.'

Really? That's strange. Because though I don't remember back as far as my childhood pony-trekking on Dartmoor, I do remember a horseback ride through Yosemite Park in the States about 15 years ago. And they wouldn't book without taking my weight and height. 

If the Yanks can do it, why can't we?  

Guardian Schizophrenia

Make up your minds, will you?

How About Starting With Your Bloated Government, Wales..?

Because you obviously have far too many little authoritarians who think what people choose to buy in Tesco is any of your business...

A Welsh Government consultation document exploring how to make the "food environment in Wales healthier" was published in June 2022 with several proposals on how to promote healthy eating. Some things considered in the original consultation are the banning of "meal deal" offers where products are cheaper if purchased together, multi-buy offers as well as reducing the prices of certain foods.

Wait, what?  

Now the Welsh Retail Consortium has written to ministers to to say that the plans would have a "disproportionate" impact on food producers, reduce choice and increase food prices.

Why a letter? Why not stop paying commecial rates and dare these arrogant little pipsqueaks to take you to court?  

A Welsh Government spokesperson said: “We are considering the next steps on price promotions and locations and no final position has been made following the pubic consultation. We are not proposing to ban meal deals themselves but to consider whether there should be restrictions on high fat, salt and sugar products, that may be part of a meal deal.”

Liars. You'd do it in a heartbeat if you thought you could get away with it. As Longrider succinctly puts it, Eu crogi, hongian nhw i gyd.  

H/T: Hellcid via Twitter

Shaming Gaia For That 40,075KM Waistline Now..?

Nine in 10 British teenagers do not eat enough vegetables, a Government-funded study suggests.

Not 10 out of 10? Must do better, teenagers! You've a reputation to uphold... 

The research also found only 30 per cent of youngsters aged between 11 and 15 ate 100g of fruit, the equivalent of a fresh apple a day.

Maybe they've taken heed of how bad fruit is for your teeth? Speaking of teeth... 

The British research comes as Danish experts published a separate study saying that dentists should check children's body mass index (BMI) when they go for check-ups in order to better track and combat childhood obesity.

You can tell this originated from Denmark and not Britain, where it's increasingly harder to get to see a dentist for treatment, never mind a checkup!

Also, have I ever seen a set of scales in my dentist's office? Reader, I don't believe I have... 

Study lead, Dr Ankita Gupta, said: 'This study suggests adolescents in the West Midlands are consuming diets which are neither healthy nor sustainable.'

Wait, what? What's 'sustainability' got to do with whether or not youngsters are porkers? 

The researchers were aiming to assess if children were eating a 'planetary health diet' that is both healthy for them and sustainable for the planet.

We have to eat less to save the planet? What the hell are we saving it for, if not us? What does the crank suggest? 

She also claims it is better for the planet with the reduction in meat consumption using less water and land and producing fewer greenhouse gases.

Ah. We've seen this argument before. It's nonsense. But it seems to be spreading. It's no longer a hidden agenda, it's right out in the open. 

Signs Of The Apocalypse...

Doctors are being offered training to improve their bedside manner...

Well, it's about time!

...after dozens of patients complained about being ‘fat-shamed’ by NHS staff.

Wait, what?

Some took exception to being told that they were an unhealthy weight, needed to improve their diet or were too big to fit in scanners or have operations. The Royal College of Physicians said healthcare workers ‘must not be afraid’ to raise the issue because of the ‘very severe risks’ of obesity but they should discuss it ‘sensitively’ and avoid using ‘stigmatising language’.

How the hell do you point out to someone that the only scanner they will fit in is at Seaworld or London Zoo 'sensitively'..?

One doctor at Maidstone and Tunbridge Wells NHS Trust allegedly told a woman she was morbidly obese and it was her fault because of ‘the crap she eats’.

Maybe it was. What else should the doctor have told her? 

Tam Fry, of the National Obesity Forum, said: ‘A lot of people are in denial about their weight and doctors should not shy away from telling them home truths.

‘Some healthcare workers may need to improve their bedside manner but there will be some patients who take offence at being told they are overweight no matter how sensitively it is done.’

I can't believe I'm agreeing with Tam Fry of all people! 

*peers out of window for quartet of eerie horsemen*

It Took Them Two Years...

...but they finally realised what a liar he was:

Ministers are being urged to levy a £3bn sugar and salt tax as part of a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” to break Britain’s addiction to junk food, cut meat consumption by nearly a third and help tackle climate change.

The government-commissioned National Food Strategy, drawn up by the restaurateur Henry Dimbleby, says the UK population’s “malfunctioning” appetites and poor diets – fuelled by consumer and manufacturer’s reliance on processed food – place an unsustainable burden on the NHS and contribute to 64,000 deaths each year.

Its most eye-catching recommendation is a levy of £3 a kilo on sugar and £6 a kilo on salt sold wholesale for use in processed food, restaurants and catering, which it says would be a world first.

He's going to agree, isn't he? Despite what he says now...

The strategy rules out a meat tax, which proved much more unpopular in a survey than the salt and sugar taxes, calling it “politically impossible”.

At the moment. But if the Blond Blancmange gives in to this, or brings it in bit by bit by stealth once the fuss dies down, it'll be back on the cards faster than you can say 'Another helping of tofu, Granny?'... 

"Take Two Wheels And Call Me In The Morning..."

The Bungler just keeps getting more and more incoherent.

They will be able to get free hire or borrow bikes from surgeries.

Assuming they can get into those surgeries in the first place, eh, Boris? And...'free' hire? Err, no. The taxpayer's paying. Again.

The PM has pinched the idea from former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, whose £7.2billion cycling and walking plan unveiled at last year’s General Election included bikes on the NHS.

The fact that the most widely reviled Labour leader for a century thought it was a good idea is a sign it's not, you moron!

It is part of Mr Johnson’s new obesity strategy, which demands calorie counts on restaurant ­menus and alcohol sold in shops.

What happened to your opposition to 'sin taxes', Boris? Why should your brush with death mean we all have to suffer?

The Better Health campaign, aimed at 35million overweight Brits, will ban junk food ads ­before 9pm and target online ads.

Like a reformed smoker, he's determined to change everything...

So, You're Retiring, Eh?

Here's your signed card from the office, a little gift, ands...oh, would you like a last opportunity to make a statement you didn't have the guts for when you just started in the job?

You would? Splendid!

Food should be banned from public transport to stop people snacking on the go, the Government's outgoing chief medical officer has said in her final report.

One hopes the incoming chief medical officer has noted the scorn poured on this by so many commenters and newspapers...

Dame Sally Davies, nicknamed the nation's 'nanny-in-chief' for her bold public health interventions, today delivers her most radical proposals to date.

When no one needs listen to her any more. Fine. I certainly won't!

'We know that snacking is a cause of excess calories in children and adults,' Dame Sally said. 'Years ago we didn't snack - we sat down and ate. I would stop all food and drink except water on urban public transport.'

Yes, she'll allow you water. How munificent! But who is going to enforce this?

She said it would be up to the Government how this would enforced, but added: 'We are a law abiding nation. The vast majority of people would observe it, as they did the smoking ban.'

That might once have been true. Back when 'no-one snacked on trains' (almost certainly at a time when there were smoking carriages, but never mind...). But if she thinks it's true now, she's lost more than a few marbles.

Boris Johnson is opposed to introducing more levies on items high in salt, fat and sugar. In his Tory leadership campaign he said he would review what he called 'stealth sin taxes'.

We'll see. 

The World Has Gone Mad...

Britain's most senior paediatrician has called for a 100-fold increase in weight loss operations on children to ward off an impending 'obesity apocalypse'.

Professor Russell Viner, president of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH), said NHS surgery for overweight teens could be the only way to 'rescue' them from the 'vicious cycle' of a poor diet and bad health.

 Can the NHS afford this? Well...

This Morning viewers gushed over the antics of an adorable three-year-old guest's antics on Friday's show.

Benjamin Wayne was on the show with his mother Joanna, from Carshalton, Surrey, who was there to discuss how his NHS funding bid for cochlear hearing implants was rejected.

He has a condition called Connexin 26, which has left him with only slight hearing in his left ear. Though his hearing is significantly impaired, he does not qualify for the implants under current NHS guidelines - meaning his family are now trying to raise £80,000 for private treatment.

Is it me, or...?

Dundee City Council Is A Little Unstable Themselves...

A council has banned cycling with stabilisers and pedals from its nurseries in a drive to defeat child obesity.

*checks calendar* No, it's not April 1st. Feels like it, though.

Dundee City Council health chiefs believe removing stabilisers used by children to learn how to ride a bike will force youngsters to 'use their core' for balance.

They even suggest removing the pedals from the bikes in a move to help children maintain a healthy weight.

 /facepalm

Audrey White, from the children and family service at the council, said the new scheme was part of efforts to increase child activity.

 Is Audrey a Spartan? Is she going to suggest those toddlers who just can't hack it be left on a hillside for the wolves?

On Thursday, she said: 'This is a new initiative that is working right across every single nursery in our city.

'The policy is we don't allow stabilisers.

'Children learn to use a bike without any stabilisers, without any pedals and when they feel confident, they can move on to standard bikes.'

She said using the core muscles was 'a key fundamental movement', which stabilisers do not allow.

 She's bonkers. Seriously, this is the most pressing concern for the Children & Family Services?

Ms White added that at the heart of their approach there was an attempt to build parent confidence in taking their children on free outdoor activities which would mean youngsters spend less time in front of screens.

And a lot more in A&E...

An Article, Or An Advert..?

Prioritise sleep and put it high on the agenda. There’s more packed into our children’s days than ever before, and sleep is simply not recognised with adequate importance. Researchers at King’s College London have just added more evidence to the pile showing that irregular bedtimes and insufficient sleep in childhood may result in increased calorie consumption and obesity.

Oh noes! What can parents do to prevent this impending fatocalypse?

Ensure the foundations for promoting good sleep are established by supporting a consistent bedtime routine and following advice around “good sleep hygiene”. Discuss and set limits about electronic device exposure and eliminate usage in the hour leading up to sleep. Limit sensory overload and multitasking in the lead-up to bed and aim for a routine that helps the brain and body to wind down ready for sleep. Discourage any caffeinated drinks after lunchtime and make sure to follow regular sleep/wake times, even over weekends and holidays. It helps to keep your child’s body clock in a regular rhythm, making it easier to get to sleep and wake up.

Whew! We're saved!

Hang on....

Even with all of this in place, some children will still need some additional support. For younger children, this may involve behavioural programmes to help them feel confident and secure in falling asleep without an adult present.

Oh noes! Who can save us?

Jenny Stephenson is director of HappySleepers, a team of chartered child psychologists offering expert help and advice on sleep; from newborns through to teenage years.

Ah. I thought there might be a reason for this scare article...

When 'Challenge' Doesn't Mean What You May Think...

The campaign is run by the Brighton and Hove Food Partnership, Jamie Oliver’s Food Foundation and Brighton and Hove City Council.

Oliver said “It’s great to see so many people across the city up for getting involved with the campaign – taking a Sugar Smart challenge is a great way to start thinking about how to reduce the amount of sugar you consume.”

An even better was would be to not read his cook books.

And judging by the number I see unopened and pristine at boot sales, lots are following this advice!

The first challenge, which started yesterday (Thursday September 15) ) is “make your breakfast low-sugar”. All people need to do is like a Facebook page and send in a photo of their healthier breakfast.

YCMIU...

Why, Yes, Of Course 'More Action' Should Be Taken...

Parents are still packing their children’s school lunchboxes with junk food, despite high-profile awareness campaigns on childhood obesity and guidance provided by consumer groups, research has found. The Leeds University study published on Tuesday found just 1.6% of packed lunches for primary school children met tough nutritional standards set for their classmates eating in the school canteen.

 ...I mean, perish the thought that there should be anything the state doesn't have any control over, eh?

The study, described as “eye opening” by lead researcher Dr Charlotte Evans, saw only a fractional improvement from a decade ago, when 1.1% of lunches passed the standard set for school meals.

I'm rather pleased to see that 98.9% of parents thought 'Sod you, nanny state! I'LL decide what I feed my kids'...

Naturally, the usual suspects be fewmin':

Evans said: “I hope the results of the study are an eye-opener, highlighting that more stringent policies need to be introduced if we want to see real change in the nutritional value of children’s packed lunches. New policies for schools, food manufacturers and retailers are needed, which will require strong support from government and stakeholders if progress is to be made.”

"People aren't obeying! Crack down HARDER!"

The report recommends that primary schools introduce a policy restricting sweetened drinks and encouraging water, salad and fruit. It also suggested parents pack smaller portions of the unhealthy snacks, such as packets of crisps that are around 15g rather than 26g and chocolate cakes and biscuits of 20g.

So schools should inspect all lunchboxes? FFS!

Sharon Hodgson MP, chair of the all-party parliamentary group for school food, said: “The research highlights the need for more action to be taken on food put in children’s packed lunches, something which the school food APPG has recently called for. Despite positive moves with regards to the food provided as part of a school meal, food brought in by children in their packed lunches is lagging behind. Therefore we need more action to be taken if we want to see positive changes.”

I think we do indeed need 'more action' to be taken. But I'd rather it was to strip these parasites of any government funding for their wasted time...

Stand On This Cliff, Chum, I'll Give You The Push You Need..!

Bob Collins, 62, from Southend, decided to get fit after discovering his body mass index was “through the roof”.

Good man!

He started a fitness programme with Southend Council’s Get Healthy Hub. He was offered 12 weeks of subsidised sessions at Southend Leisure and Tennis Centre and 12 weeks of public health-funded weight management sessions.

Wait, hang on. I'm paying for this?

The retired builder said: “It was fantastic to be given this opportunity.

“Overeating is a vicious circle and I needed a push to change my lifestyle.

“I found the discussion groups at the weight-management sessions very useful and I have also benefited from the advice of a personal trainer.”

I'm paying for you to chat to people..? FFS!

Save Us! Save Us From The Tyranny!

It’s 10.30am on a Monday and already the smell of cakes is wafting towards your desk. The colleague, who usually does a spot of baking over the weekend, has been up all night making cupcakes and an email has just flown around about their latest goodies. Later in the day another email pings into your inbox, this time it’s an update – there’s still some cakes left and also sweets have been purchased. The treat table, where confectionary congregates, is now overflowing. Someone has even been to M&S and bought a Colin the Caterpillar cake.

Wow! Can I come and work in your office?

If this sounds all too familiar then you might be interested to hear that last month professor Nigel Hunt, from the Royal College of Surgeons, argued that cake culture is fuelling obesity and dental problems.

Oh oh....

Warnings like this may seem alarmist or even exaggerated...

No! Really?

...but cake culture at work has certainly grown in recent years. Gone are the days of the occasional birthday sponges, and our offices are starting to look more like patisseries. This comes at a time when we are facing a national obesity crisis: the UK is on track to have the highest obesity levels in Europe.

You clearly never heard the phrase 'correlation is not causation', did you?

Arguably you don’t have to take the snacks, and, as an adult, you should be able to say no.

*nods* Indeed so. End of problem?

What’s more, some people (myself included) simply do not have the willpower.

And....that's other people's problem how, exactly...?

We are teaching ourselves bad habits at work, and it’s time to break them. We’ve rallied against turkey Twizzlers in school, the fast food industry and ready meals – so why do we ignore the rising amount of cake and sweets that are filling our workplaces?

What's this 'We'..? I can't say I've ever rallied against it.

It's a free country. Want to eat Turkey Twizzlers? Go right ahead!

Instead of bringing your colleagues cakes, urge them to get up from their desk and go for a break. If your energy levels are crashing you probably need a screen-break rather than a snack. What we need is less work on our plates, not more cake.

Anyone urging me up out of my desk for some State-inspired calisthenics is dicing with death...

Trimming The Fat In The Budget…

Funding for obesity in Essex is being cut …

Well, it’s OK, we’ve got quite a huge reserve of landwhales and lardbuckets, so we’ll be …

Wait, that wasn’t what you meant, was it?

… despite a countywide epidemic. By 2020 experts estimate more than a third of adults will be clinically obese. Despite the problem Essex County Council, the organisation responsible for public health, is cutting funding. Last year £1,482,762 was spent on weight management.

This year it will be £1,342,800 - a reduction of about £140,000 - and the money will also have to cover a new National Diabetes Prevention Programme.

That’s all we are talking about – a mere £140k? You’ve still got over a million pounds left!

A weight management campaign was launched by the authority this year, in stark contrast to the funding cut, called Essex Weighs. The website www.essexweighsin.com allows people, according to the council, to create "a personalised profile, where they can log their weight and pledge to act upon different healthy lifestyle changes, such as eating more fruit and exercising".

A spokesman said: "As well as free resources such as recipes and exercise advice, the website also has a community focus, with the inclusion of blogs, which allow residents to share their own experience, in their own words, of their healthy living and weight management journey. "

So you set up a website – that didn’t cost £140k, did it? But then, knowing the way councils spend money…

That’s Not Going To Help With The Council Cash Flow, Is It?

The building has been empty for several months since the art gallery closed.

Westhoughton town councillor David Wilkinson said: “Most residents who contacted me about this were opposed to the idea of yet another takeaway on Market Street but others were supportive of having a genuine restaurant.”

The line between ‘filthy takeaway’ and ‘genuine restaurant’ is often pretty close.

Bolton Council planning officers turned down the plans to convert the former art gallery over fears that the takeaway was too close to Westhoughton High School.

It was feared the food outlet would encourage unhealthy eating among youngsters as guidance recommends that hot food takeaways within 400 metres of secondary schools should not be given permission.

Given that Market Street is already thick with pizza places, Indian takeaways, chip shops and the like, it’s really hard to see how one more is going to somehow tip the balance between a school full of lithe striplings vs a school full of porkers…