Tweet Of The Month

Post Title Of The Month

MacHeath journeys in the footsteps of giants...

 

Quote Of The Month

Longrider on the scaremongering attempting to hoodwink people into supporting the Climate Scam:

"Somewhere in the attic I have a photograph of my old BMW R1100RS taken during a trip to Portugal. It’s in a forest. Well, what was a forest until it burned down. Wild fires are nothing new. The trip was in 1995 and the place still smelled of the recent burning. Talk to the locals (as we did) and they will tell you that it happens every so often. "

Post Of The Month

Perry on the Climate Scam over at Samizdata...

Did Rishi Learn Any Lessons From The Byelection Disaster...?

...or did he just decide to tinker with small things and hope the larger issues go away? 

Reader, you know the answer, don't you?

The Government does not plan to delay its proposals to phase out gas boilers in homes and replace them with heat pumps.

A UK Government spokesman said the Department for Energy Security and Net Zero still aims to phase out the installation of new and replacement gas boilers by 2035 at the latest.

Well, you all know where to put your cross now. Or, as I intend to, stay home. 

Ummmm, What?!?

All the right words there, 'Dagenham Post', but not really in the right order, are they?

I Know It's A Medical News Item, 'Mail' Headline Writer...

...but c'mon!

Sunday Funnies...

Well, that makes me feel better about mine, at least....

Some Emotions Are More Equal Than Others...

James Martin and the production company responsible for developing his Saturday morning show have released a joint statement after the TV chef was accused of bullying crew-members on 'multiple occasions.'

Since when was understandable anger at damage to your home called 'bullying', then? 

The production company has made numerous shows with Martin and have taken responsibility for a separate incident, where his home and garden were damaged while filming in 2018. A Blue Marlin spokesperson said: 'An unfortunate incident occurred after filming James Martin's Saturday Morning in 2018 where James' home was badly damaged.

'Blue Marlin Television accepted responsibility. James was shocked by what had happened and on reflection acknowledges he responded emotionally, which he wholly regrets.

'James apologises for any offence or upset caused, as he did at the time to the crew involved.'

Why should he have to apologise for a perfectly understandable reaction, when other TV stars let their emotions leak all over the place, and are praised for it? 

And who is it that decides who is the target of the Two Minute Hate?

What's The French For 'Tried It, But It Doesn't Work'..?

Dog owners in the southern French town of Béziers are to be required to carry their pet’s “genetic passport” in a trial scheme to reduce dog excrement on the streets.

Sounds....familiar, doesn't it, Reader? I think I know the French term for that..! 

Local mayor Robert Ménard, a former journalist and co-founder of Reporters Sans Frontières, says inhabitants and visitors are fed up with faeces on the town’s pavements. He plans to introduce a two-year experiment to trace and fine those who fail to clear up after their pets.

A noble endeavour indeed! 

“We have to punish to make people behave better,” Ménard, elected on a far-right ticket in 2014 and reelected in 2020, told France Bleu radio. Under the planned scheme, dog owners will be required to take their pets to a vet or ask one of the town’s veterinary specialists for a free saliva sample, which will be genetically tested and a document issued. Those subsequently stopped without their dog’s genetic passport will be fined €38 (£32.60).

'Papeiere, bitte, hund!' 

Will WFH Kill Canary Wharf?

How can a London slavishly devoted for half a century to random high-rise office developments cope with a one-third collapse in the demand for office space? It will not reverse. In Germany, the fall in demand is more than a half, and in New York even the Empire State Building is in trouble.

I'm not so sure, myself. I think it'll reach equilibrium. 

And don't plan on a penthouse view of London at 3 bed semi in Dagenham prices just yet... 

As for the future of offices, goodness knows. Germany is pioneering low-cost housing conversion. But it is not easy to convert a 40-storey office block into family living. Replumbing is a nightmare while servicing a tower is vastly more expensive than a terrace or low-rise block.

And the cost of pulling them down will be even higher.  

Canary Wharf was, in truth, an attempt by the state to thwart the natural evolution of the city. It traduced its own history as it pillaged adjacent Poplar. It will in time morph into line with east London’s historic character, to be where less affluent people live. It will be none the worse for that, though it may then wish it had kept the old warehouses.

We'll see. I'm betting the market will find another solution.  

At The Risk Of Sounding Like Mick Dundee...

"That's not a tragedy..."

A 17-year-old boy was killed and three others were injured in a horror crash after a police chase ended in tragedy. The teenager died after the car smashed into a tree just before midnight on July, 21 near Bosty Lane in Aldridge, near the junction with Daw End, in Walsall.

"...this is a tragedy."

A man has been left seriously injured after a car smashed through the wall of his house and ended up in his living room. The terrifying incident took place on Friday evening, with dramatic pictures showing a white Vauxhall Corsa burrowed inside the front room.

Frankly, the more of these idiots that slam into a tree (Sorry, tree!) and kill themselves, instead of injuring innocent members of the public, the better. 

"... the thorny issue of whether or not panthers, lynx and black leopards roam Scotland has been taken seriously by several official bodies."

Clearly, not official bodies who understand that panthers and black leopards are the same animal...

Researchers obtained 86 pages of correspondence and pictures under freedom of information laws from Police Scotland, the Scottish Government and NatureScot.

Oh, impeccable sources then! And yes, Reader, there are pictures. Out of focus, fuzzy pictures. That clearly show large black cats. 

None of them black leopards! Or even wild boar. 

They include tantalising reports about spates of livestock killings where sheep carcasses were stripped of meat in a way which didn’t resemble fox or bird attacks, and one officer who recorded three to four sightings of a big cat.

A wee dram or two taken, perchance..? 

...a police officer told Scottish Wildcat Action about ‘lots of reports of big cat sightings and activity on the north coast’. The officer said: ‘I was present when a ewe was brought in off the hill with two puncture marks on the front of her right shoulder and two at the back of it. The wounds were over three inches apart.’ Other carcasses had ‘very large puncture marks into bone’.

Better add 'jaguar' to the list of imaginary beasts roaming in the gloaming then... 

Could The Left Wing Establishment Get Its Story Straight..?

Is Nigel Farage a bumbling joke politician, a one-shot busted flush? 

Or a wily operator who engineered the fall from grace of a banking executive, helpless to avoid the pitfall he led her into?

The Telegraph’s story, which was based on information requests Farage had made to the bank, appeared to contradict an earlier BBC story which had said that Coutts had ousted him for falling below its financial thresholds, rather than concerns about his views.

Rose herself came under fire when it emerged that she had sat next to the BBC’s business editor, Simon Jack, at a function the previous night.

It's popcorn time every day, lately, isn't it? 

Why You Should Always Clear Your Browser History...

Carlee, 25, told police she was taken by a white man with 'orange hair' who appeared from the trees on the side of I-459 after she saw a 'baby boy in a diaper' walking along the road on Thursday at around 9.30pm.

Her disappearance sparked a frantic police and volunteer hunt which generated $62,000 in donations to Crime Stoppers, and nationwide fears for the young nursing student.

This smelled worse than the story about the 'Berlin Lioness' to me...but not, at first, to anyone else! 

But as is usual with these stories, it didn't take long for it to unravel:

At a press conference today, Hoover Police revealed new evidence that points to her disappearance being a hoax. 'We have been unable to verify most of her initial statements, and we have no reason to believe there is a threat to public safety,' Hoover Police Chief Nick Derzis said.

Detectives stopped short of accusing her of maliciously lying, instead questioning her mental state, but said they were now struggling to believe her story.

They are only struggling to believe it NOW...?!? 

In the days leading up to her disappearance, she researched terms like: 'Do you have to pay for an Amber alert?' On the day of her disappearance, her Google searches included: 'How to take money from a register without being caught?'

And she'd have got away with it if not for those meddling code-writers! 

It's A Great Idea...

...but what do you do when it can't find anything to buy at all?

On the App Store, Veebs currently has a 4.4 out of 5 star rating, with one woman writing: 'I'm a conservative mama bear, and I've been looking for something like this for a few years now.

'All I can say is bless you, Veebs, and to all the companies shoving their ideas on me and my family — bye.'

Another user also commented: 'I can't believe someone finally built this.'

I can't believe it still shows some companies to buy from! 

The People He Held Hostage Weren't...

The report detailed how on 16 June 2016 Lewis-Ranwell set fire to a wardrobe in his north Devon hospital room.

When the fire alarms sounded "he blocked the exit from the ward and then barricaded himself and other patients into the ward lounge" in what staff called a "hostage-taking" incident.

Police did not attend at the time of the incident as Mr A "was in a safe space", the report said.

...and nor were the elderly people he went on to kill when the medical authorities decided to one-up the police in the game of 'Who Can Screw Up Worst?'.

The review also detailed how at one point a hospital changed Lewis-Ranwell's diagnosis without explanation in his records and released him twice into the community without oversight of his "long-term needs".

When Lewis-Ranwell moved to France in 2017 Devon NHS Partnership Trust discharged him from mental health after care - without evidence he no longer needed after care and against the Mental Health Act Code of Practice.

And no-one will see any jail time or even suffer any consequences for failing in the most basic duties of care.

"Admit It, You're Not Here For The Football, Are You?"

The BBC has been made to apologise after a reporter asked a player at the Women's World Cup an 'inappropriate' question about homosexuality at a press conference.

The journalist, who reportedly works for the BBC World Service, asked national team captain Ghizlane Chebbak on Sunday: 'We know that gay marriage is illegal [in Morocco]. Are there any gay players in the team? And what is it like for them?'

Now, yes, the 'endangerment' issue is undoubtedly the factor people are homing in on, but why is no-one asking why a journalist there to report on a sport isn't asking about the offside rule or whether she'll use the 4-3-3 formation instead? 

Unfortunately, It's Not Going To Be One In Eritrea, Is It?

An Eritrean former child soldier who stabbed a stranger to death in a 'ferocious' knife attack in London's Oxford Street will be held in a secure psychiatric hospital indefinitely.

Of course not, Reader. Perish the thought!

The court was told Eritrean-born Fanta, who arrived in Britain in 2014, had convictions for criminal damage and assaulting a police officer and emergency worker and was on bail at the time of the killing.

He had been arrested on June 18 2021 for 'brandishing a saw' in Swansea and then bailed to appear at Swansea Magistrates' Court, the trial of facts heard.

And no-one ever said, at any point, 'Wait a minute, why are we pussyfooting around with this creature? Why aren't we shipping him back to Eritrea?'  

Judge Michael Topolski KC handed Fanta a hospital order without limit of time. He said Fanta had made seven court appearances in the past and been sectioned in 2020, adding: 'This defendant slipped through the system unnoticed, uncared for, untreated and very dangerous.'

He didn't 'slip through the system', though, did he? He swam through it like a fish swims through water. In his case, a shark.  

Detective Chief Inspector Geoff Grogan said: 'My heart goes out to Stephen's family, especially his mother, who lost him in such terrible circumstances.

'While I know there is precious little comfort in the wake of this awful story, I hope they will take solace knowing that people tried to help Stephen when he so needed it. Those two brave members of the public should know how greatly their actions were and are appreciated by Stephen's family.'

What a pity that those tasked with the protection of society didn't show as much work ethic... 

'The judge formally recognised their actions, and two other member of the public, with commendations for their bravery.

'I would also like to thank my team of detectives, who were absolutely determined to obtain Stephen's family justice.'

Do you think they managed it, then? 

And Some Retraining For The Warden..?

The spokesman said: “Our Public Space Protection Order (PSPO) for control of dogs states that at Reculver, dogs must be on the lead at the picnic area and at the Reculver Towers heritage area, and that they are not allowed at all at the play area.

"However, an officer visited the area on Wednesday, June 7, and all the signs have been stolen. This, of course, is a criminal act. We condemn theft and vandalism, and if people are caught doing this in future we will push the police to prosecute.

"Without the signs being in place, it would not be fair to issue fines, so as a result we will on this occasion be cancelling the three fixed penalty notices issued at Reculver for breaches of the PSPO.

"We will be in contact with the individuals concerned directly and apologise that this unfortunate incident has occurred."

I don't think it's just the people wrongly issued penalties you should be having words with... 

Brutal!

And yet, fair as always, Matt!

Yeah, I Can Never Spell This One Either...

...although with me, it's the 'one or two f'? or 'one or two t'? dilemma. 

Trust the 'Mail' to find a whole new error.

Sunday Funnies...

None of these is in the UK, so that still gives me hope!

Wrong Film, Surely..?

A gran-of-eight has described how she watched in horror as a young girl was attacked in a playground by an 'XL bully' dog leaving the tot's face covered in blood. Paige Dyche saw the seven year old cowering under the park's swings as the animal repeatedly went for her, tugging at her leg before pushing her to the ground as she tried to make a desperate run for freedom, during the attack in Merseyside on Monday evening.

Speaking to the Mirror Mrs Dyche says she now plays the moment over and over again in her mind, with the girl 'looking like something from the film Carrie' as the dog's owner desperately jumped on top of it to stop the attack.

Wait, surely 'Cujo' is the Stephen King movie about a killer pooch? 

"The dog wasn't being aggressive it was like he was playing with his prey, like you see a killer whale tossing around a dolphin, it just kept looking at her like, 'what are you going to do next?'."

Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound too agressive, does it, Reader?  

Speaking after the attack, Detective Inspector Emma Kerrigan said: "This was a horrific attack which has left a young girl receiving hospital treatment for injuries to her head and legs.

"We have seized the dog and extensive efforts are underway to establish exactly what happened and to find the owner. "

Why did you 'seize' the dog instead of shooting it dead? And come to think of it, the owner wouldn't have been able to scarper like the revolting coward he is if he'd been ducking flying lead too... 

Why The Long Faces, EU Diplomats?

The diplomats, who represented the Netherlands, Poland, Spain, Germany and the EU embassies in London, were given a chance to meet some of the sanctuary’s four-legged residents and learn about the challenges they face in different countries.

The gravy train evidently derailed there for this unfortunate group... 

H/T: Ian J via email

But Then They'd Have To Do Some Work, Mr Pitt...

Mr Pitt then ran into obstacles when he attempted to report the crime.

“I tried to contact 101 and they had excessive amounts of calls so they asked if I could do it online,” he explained.

“I tried to do it online but it said you have to have a video that lasts one minute before the incident and one minute after.

“It’s ridiculous because I don’t have that.

“When the local bobby has their Monday meeting I'm going to talk with them and tell them what happened.”

I bet they can't wait! 

“If nothing gets reported, police don’t know about it and therefore they don't know there is anything to act upon.

“But the police need to make it much easier for the public to report these things in a very simple and straightforward manner that they don’t look at as a complete waste of time.”

I wonder why they don't? It's a mystery, isn't it? 

Is It 'Unexplained'...

...because for once, the NHS didn't kill her?

A spokesperson for the Royal Cornwall hospitals NHS trust said they were assisting police in their investigation into the “unexplained death” of a patient at the hospital.

And it wasn't the food either!

Why Does No One Ever Ask 'What's Wrong With Her?'..?

After ordering Laurent out of the car McNichol grabs her by the arm and twists it behind her back and pulls her to the ground, all the while she screams 'I'm pregnant'.

As McNichol pins Laurent to the ground, her partner Hardy can be heard saying: 'She's six months pregnant, what is wrong with him?!' to another officer.

I mean, isn't it racist to assume that black people will always act like screaming toddlers when faced with authority catching them doing something illegal?

Henry tells McNichol: 'She doesn't have to give you her license', while Laurent can be heard saying: 'If you arrest me now and put me on the ground and I am pregnant, you are going to get charged.' For the next two minutes, McNichol continues to tell the two they will be arrested for not cooperating. Henry can be heard telling the former officer: 'Don't touch her, she is pregnant.' McNichol tells Laurent: 'I'm going to lock you up', to which she replies 'I don't care.'

Why didn't she care? Well, Reader, she's not unfamiliar with arrest situations, it's fair to say: 

Boca Raton Police confirmed that Laurent was charged with resisting an officer and was issued a citation for not having a valid license. She had also been arrested for an active warrant out of Palm Beach County for failure to appear.

Hardy was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer.

And yet people are still defending her. 

But Don't They Already, Ben-Julian?

Admittedly it's usually down to sloth and indifference, but I don't think the crime victims care what the reason is...

Ben-Julian Harrington, who heads Essex Police, fears scores of officers are leaving the profession because they can't afford to pay their rent and household bills.

He said many officers are taking on second jobs to make ends meet or leaving forces to become scaffolders, taxi or train drivers because it pays better.

'We won't keep cutting crime if PCs can't afford to be cops,' he warned yesterday.

I don't think you are cutting crime, are you? 

Here We Go Again...

So, you junked the diesel vehicle and bought an electric car to appease the Green God. Are you safe from the hectoring now? 

Reader, of course not...

Electric cars will need to be smaller with shorter ranges and people must make fewer private journeys by road to ease the inevitable surge in demand for critical metals when transitioning to battery vehicles, according to a new report.

These people cannot be appeased.  

These are among the recommendations outlined by a green transport thinktank as part of a study looking into how to moderate the consumption of key metals needed for electric vehicle (EV) batteries. And it has called on governments to introduce 'weight-based taxation' on the heaviest and largest motors.

And government will jump at the chance! 

Well, As Excuses Go...

...I have to say it's really not the best. Is it, Reader? I almost pity his defence...

Mr Rogers added that the defendant, a self-employed grounds worker, has health issues as he has had seizures. He is awaiting tests at a centre in Walton on Merseyside. His late mother had epilepsy.

Social services are now involved, so surely the child's safety is now assured, eh? 

The judge, His Honour Rhys Rowlands, told Bielby he had been 'entirely reckless as regards the child'.

And the child's mother? Wasn't she a tiny bit reckless too? 

Wait, What's The Difference?

Hate your body? Want to change it? 

Well, clearly, you're suffering from mental illness, and surgery isn't the answer! You need therapy:

Mairi suggests that she might have Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) – a condition where the sufferer is completely preoccupied with their appearance, and imagined defects, which can lead to fear, distress or anxiety. Tilly doesn’t buy it. “I can’t believe that I’ve got it because I just think I’m actually ugly,” says Tilly. “It’s almost scary or embarrassing to think about saying 'yes, I’ve got it', because then what if the other version is true? People are going to laugh at me.” And so Mairi’s job is to convince Tilly that the diagnosis is correct. She explains that Tilly is walking down a path that “has become so trodden and old and used” and that “coming into therapy is a bit like trying to find a new path.”

Unless, of course, you believe you're really the opposite sex. Then, of course, let's chop bits off you immediately!

Cheer Up, Love...

A PC is facing the sack after crashing an unmarked police car after taking her dog to the vet.

Traffic officer Anja Macleod, who joined the force in 2004, lied to her sergeant that she was looking for a disqualified driver, it is claimed.

...it's not, after all, the worst police/dog/car interface story in the world. Or even in Wales...

Well, That Won't Help Them Fit In To Essex...

It's like that old joke about being stopped at the door of a nightclub by a bouncer who asks menacingly 'Have you got any weapons?' and when you say 'No!' he produces a flick-knife and says 'Here! Better take this then...'

A two-day hearing at the High Court in London began on Wednesday - just as the first 47 migrants were taken to Wethersfield.

All single men, they arrived in Britain by small boat from northern France last weekend.

Wethersfield offers an on-site GP surgery, a dining hall with meals three times a day, a multi-faith centre and recreation facilities including an indoor basketball court and a gym. Migrants will be offered a programme of activities - likely to include running clubs and art lessons - in a bid to keep them occupied on the site.

But they are free to come and go from the base.

The Tories are doomed. Aren't they? 

Stop 'Restraining' Them And Start Shooting Them!

Cardiff:

In Cardiff on Tuesday evening, members of the public bravely intervened to protect a dog that was being viciously attacked by another dog. The shocking scene unfolded on Connaught Road in Roath, with witnesses describing the chaos and efforts of the public to restrain the aggressive animal. Eyewitnesses recounted the horrifying moment when a large dog, resembling a pitbull, "locked its jaws around a white cockapoo", causing severe injuries and leaving a pool of blood on the pavement.

“Loads of people came out of their houses and there were people screaming. Loads of police turned up and armed police too and they were spraying it with some sort of gas. They were here until about 8.50pm so it took a while. People then came up and scrubbed the street. It was horrific.”

Coventry:

Footage of a dog attack, after which an animal was Tasered before being contained in a wheelie bin, has been released by police. The move was necessary to stop the "out of control" animal which posed a risk to people nearby, including children, police said.

"Contrary to reports on social media, the dog was not hit by a police car and was not killed," said West Midlands Police."Despite speculation" the animal is safe and well and being looked after in kennels, police said.

Is this failure to do what needs to be done because of the efforts of the 'Aww, poor doggie!' crowd and the #pitnutters to try to have the cop that did what was necessary in Limehouse charged with something? 

Because if so, someone's going to get seriously hurt or even killed if they keep being so hesitant even when they have armed officers on scene...

His Lordship Was Not Amused . . .

Getting it right and wrong all in the same article!

H/T: The Jannie via email

And Also, Apparently, For Proper Grammar...

 

Who is surprised? Not me!

Sunday Funnies...

Having tasted American 'chocolate', no 2 isn't as great as it sounds...

Remember When Disability Was Obvious?

The London executive, who worked at Swiss bank UBS, was ruled to be disabled after claiming she was discriminated against at work.

And the nature of this 'disability'? Well, once, no doubt, it would be classed as simple middle-class neurosis. 

This saw her obsess over the negative effects of germs, chemicals, non-organic foods and take 'extreme steps' to avoid them. She was also too afraid to drink tap water, and only allowed her young son to have filtered or Highland Spring bottled water.

And is this now a disability? Really? 

A judge at the London Central Employment Tribunal said this fixation should be considered a disability under the UK's Equality Act 2020.

*sighs* 

There's Never Any Evidence If You Make Sure You Don't Collect It...

...or if you ignore what is collected and pretend that it isn't.

A spokesperson for the Dogs Trust said research had shown that "no breed of dog is more likely to be aggressive than another".

Oh, really? 

"There is no evidence the reported increase in dog attacks is down to one particular breed of dog as, even in fatal cases, the breed of dog does not need to be recorded," they added.

But it is recorded, isn't it? Maybe not by everyone, no, but in this very article the people dealing with the aftermath are only too aware of which breed is doing the damage:

Assistant Chief Constable Dan Thorpe, of South Yorkshire Police, said each year the force had seen "significant increases in dangerous dog-related incidents".

"In 2018, we saw 77 of these incidents, and have already seen 180 in the first six months of this year," he added. ACC Thorpe said the American XL Bully breed had accounted for 25% of all the dogs seized by the force since January last year.

"We can't ignore the fact that the XL Bully breed is disproportionately represented in the number of dog attacks we attend," he said.

It seems those with a vested interest in perpetuating the myth that a chihuahua is just as likely to attack as a pitbull can ignore it just fine...... 

Then You'll See More Cases Like This, Won't You?

DS Hughes said that although it appeared 'quite clear' Mustafa's friend had committed an offence of causing or permitting another to use a motor vehicle without a licence or insurance, it was judged not in the public interest to prosecute.

And if the next kid riding a scooter illegally bumps a passenger into the path of a bus instead of himself, will the CPS apologise to that person's family?

Asked by the coroner if he was concerned about children riding e-scooters, the officer said: 'Yes. I have dealt with a number of incidents involving e-scooters – both private and public trial scooters – including two fatalities and two serious injuries that I can recount off the top of my head.'

The officer said the issue of e-scooters being ridden on pavements was of particular concern.

Perhaps more police walking the beat would help, DS Hughes? 

In a joint statement, headteachers Lynn Petrie and Pete White, said the Voi trial scheme had been 'instantly problematic' from its outset in September 2020 due to children using the machines illegally. The schools, part of the same academy group, said they had written to parents and held assemblies on the issue.

The headteachers added that Mustafa's death seemed to have done little to stop children riding e-scooters, which youths often seen riding past the schools.

So everyone's doing what they can, but Darwin's winning this race as he often does... 

Relatives of Mustafa asked Mr Salmer why facial recognition couldn't be introduced to stop children logging on to accounts they are not registered to. But the regional general manager said it would be 'impractical…from a cost perspective' for all e-scooter providers to introduce such a facility at the moment, without significant subsidy.

So, to prevent your idiot kids killing themselves or others, the scooter company should be able to stick their hand in my pocket? No thanks. 

It Should Have Been 'Restrained' With A Bullet...

Four people were injured on Saturday after being attacked by a dog in Hammersmith.

Police said efforts were ongoing to establish the dog’s breed after the attack on Field Road, Baron’s Court at 11.15am. The dog was restrained before being seized.

*sighs* 

A 48-year-old man was arrested at the scene on suspicion of being in charge of a dangerously out of control dog.

I await the court case. Because it's not going to be a Labrador, is it? 

You Have A Strange Definition Of 'As Little As Possible'...

Ministers have been strongly criticised ... for rejecting calls from bereaved families, senior police officers and a coroner to put extra controls on shotguns in response to the Plymouth mass shooting.

By whom..?

...by anti-gun campaigners...

Oh. Of course.  

The campaign group the Gun Control Network said: “The government response would be shocking if it wasn’t so predictable. They have shown once again that they will always prioritise the interests of shooters over public safety. They have sent a message of business as usual to shooters and done as little as possible to upset them.”

Is that true? Reader, what do you think?

Philp announced that the government will provide £500,000 in funding to support the development and rollout of a national training package produced by the College of Policing and the National Police Chiefs’ Council.

“In due course, this training will become mandatory for police firearms licensing teams,” he said.

He also launched a consultation on a series of possible new measures, including giving police the right to undertake searches and seize shotguns without a warrant, shortening the firearms certificate renewal period from five years, and tightening the rules around referees for licence applications.

None of that is 'as little as possible', is it? 

"Stop! Hammer Time!"

A neighbour said they saw a man leave the house carrying a hammer before sinking to the floor in apparent 'relief' as police arrived on scene. The breed of the dog is still unknown while police await confirmation from a vet.

Well, the sort of family 'pet' that sends three people to Casualty and has to be fought to the death with whatever household implements come to hand probably isn't a Labrador or a cocker spaniel, is it?

An estimated ten police cars, an ambulance, an air ambulance and a black unmarked car had arrived outside the residential property at around 9am.

Residents had said Boughton Avenue was a quiet street with few things going on. One said: "It is shocking and frightening that something like that has happened."

Is it really? There was no warning a large and potentially dangerous animal lived at the address?

Naturally, the pitnutters are out in force, declaring their sorrow for the animal. But then, it seems some of them struggle with all kinds of concepts. Like, for instance, 'news':

 *sighs* 

Not Courting Controversy - Yr Doin' It Wrong...

“It’s a funny thing,” admits Elizabeth Winkler. “I don’t really like controversy. I don’t seek it out. There are some people that thrive on it and I don’t.”

Who's she? Apparently, a 33-year-old American journalist and book critic, who holds English literature degrees from Princeton and Stanford universities, writes for the Wall Street Journal newspaper and the New Yorker magazine. And she's got a book out! 

What's it about? Glad you asked, Reader...

The subject in question is perhaps the final blasphemy of British culture: the theory that William Shakespeare of Stratford-upon-Avon might not have written Hamlet, Macbeth, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and other plays and poems that bear his name.

And it's titled 'Shakespeare Was a Woman and Other Heresies'...

Her book makes three compelling arguments: tying the authorship question to the rise and fall of imperial Britain and its need for national mythmaking; exploring how Shakespeare was turned into a secular god, with theatre filling the vacuum left by the decline of the church; and challenging the basic human need to cling to belief when doubt might be the proper response.

None of that shocking at all, when one considers the source... 

Hide And Seek Champion 2023 Title Almost Won!

Around 20 minutes beforehand, police had been called to a domestic disturbance nearby involving a woman in her late 40s and a young boy. Both were hurt, but the extent of their injuries is not know (sic).

A male suspect fled the scene and police believe he then climbed into a bin outside nearby council flats.

Which turned out to be something of a tactical error, since it was Bin Day! Whoopsie!

Detectives are yet to rule out if he deliberately threw himself into the cart or not. A post mortem is now set to be carried out to establish whether the man was deceased or alive when he fell into the dustcart.

It's possible he had a heart attack while in the bin, I suppose. But really, who cares? 

You Must Think We're The Mugs...

A fraudster who conned the taxpayer out of £195,000 in Covid loans by making fake applications purportedly on behalf of legitimate businesses including High Street bakers Greggs has walked free from court with a suspended jail term.

What..?! How? 

Rais Kayani, 31...

*sighs* 

...'dishonestly benefited' from the scheme, pocketing the cash and transferring it to accounts overseas, Southwark Crown Court was told. On Monday, the keen amateur cricketer pleaded guilty to a single count of entering into a money laundering arrangement and received a 16-month term, suspended for 18 months.

I would say 'you couldn't make it up', but I'm getting sick of saying that. 

And this is yet another consequence of the Tory Government's failure to get a grip on the covid response.. They are coming in thick and fast now, and they show no signs of stopping. 

Speaking after the case, Ben Reid, of the Crown Prosecution Service, said: 'At a time of national emergency during the COVID-19 crisis, vast Government funds were released to support struggling businesses across the country.'

With little to no oversight and despite the warnings. A failure to be laid directly at the door of then-Chancellor Sunak. 

'We have already recovered £155,000 of taxpayer's money and will now seek a confiscation order for the remaining funds.'

What do you want, a cookie? It should never have been paid out in the first place... 

Speaking outside the Kayani family's £280,000 semi-detached home in Luton yesterday, Kayani's brother Anis, 34, said: 'He was a mug and he didn't make a penny out of it.'

Sure, sure, Anis, whatever you say... 

He implied that his brother was in a vulnerable state when he committed the offence saying it happened soon after their mother had died.

*yawns* 

I Guess It Didn't Pass, Then?

The attack happened after the large dog, believed to be an Anatolian Shepherd, had a 'little go' at Annabell's grandfather's own German Shepherd.

Both owners quickly moved their dogs away from each other before the Anatolian Shepherd managed to pull away from its owner a few minutes later.

Having broken free the Anatolian Shepherd then pounced on helpless Annabell who was standing just meters away.

In the street? In a friend's garden? No, Reader. At a dog training class... 

A Cambridgeshire Police spokesperson, said: 'We were called at about 10.20am on Sunday, 11 June, with reports a girl had been bitten by a dog in Linton Road, Horseheath.

'The eight-year-old girl was taken to hospital with serious injuries.

'A crime has been raised for allowing a dog to be dangerously out of control and an investigation into the incident is ongoing.'

Well, at least the cops are taking it seriously. That's small comfort.  

Move It Monday: July

I'm not generally a fan of rap, and it no doubt will be said that this artist is the family-friendly vanilla ice cream of rap (no, not that one!) though that might have changed since The Slap, but I do really love Will Smith's 'Miami' for its infectious beat and great lyrics:

Preparing That Crop Of Low Hanging Fruit...

Updated legal guidance for prosecutors that was quietly published by the Crown Prosecution service last year includes a list of examples of abuse of 'trans and non-binary victims'.

One is 'withholding money for transitioning', while another is 'refusing to use their preferred name or pronoun.'

Normal politeness is now to be enforced by law? Well, that won't have consequences, will it? 

A third adds: 'Body shaming or criticising the victim for not being 'a real man/woman' if they have not undergone reassignment surgery.'

Even if they do go under the knife, they aren't that. They'll never be that.  

The guidance could conceivably apply to wives 'abusing' their transgender husbands or vice versa, or even children referring to their parents as 'mum' or 'dad' if they have transitioned.

Aha! Easy pickings for the CPS! I was wondering what - apart from Stonewall! - was really driving this...

Ms Forstater, who last week won more than £100,000 in compensation from a think-tank that dropped her over her view that people cannot change their biological sex claimed the new guidelines showed how the CPS has been 'ideologically captured'.

'Captured' implies a fight. They surrendered, Maya. Without a shot being fired.  

'If It Wasn't For Double Standards' Pt 782345...

Police officers under investigation for discipline offences should have to hand over data from their personal mobile phones, Doreen Lawrence has said.

Wait a minute... 

Police and prosecutors have been told to stop the mass collection of personal information from rape victims or face being fined by the UK’s data watchdog.

Hmmm.... 

The home secretary, Suella Braverman, is yet to respond to the proposals, a spokesperson for the mayor said.

Just how long does it take to write 'Go f*** yourself, Doreen' anyway? 

Can Whales Read Now..?

Oh dear, that doesn't sound good? But maybe the BBC is just being alarmist?

                                        

Oh! Well, maybe not...

H/T: Ian J via email

Errr, 'Mail', Aren't You Forgetting The Thing About Cuckoos..?

...and that's that they don't raise their young!

Sunday Funnies...

Never upset the nerds, FBI. I hope you've learned that lesson now...

And, Sadly, You're Wasting Your Time, Philda...

I am here to tell you on behalf of my country and many governments across Africa, that to save the animal kingdom we must put sentiment aside — and look at the facts.

But no-one wants to hear the facts, even when they come from the Minister for Environment and Tourism in Botswana. 

You know, someone who the liberal establishment should be listening to, if all their proclamations about self-government meant something...

Hunting revenue has connected villages to clean water and electricity, built roads and schools, founded businesses and helped struggling families. It has also created watering holes for animals that lie safely beyond village boundaries, and created animal-proof censors that can alert villagers if wildlife is close. Sadly, all too often, Westerners focus solely on animal welfare at the expense of human life in Africa.

And you know what the real tragedy is, Philda? 

Often, they couldn't give a damn for the animals either, no matter how they beat their breasts and rend their garments - it's all about stopping people enjoying themselves in ways of which they don't approve...

To talk about wildlife without taking into account lives and livelihoods is a terrible misstep — which is why, while prioritising sustainable development, the Botswanan government also puts people at the heart of policy. So how does it work in practice? Since the 1980s, and with the ongoing support of the UK, we have implemented a community-based natural resource management programme, allocating hunting quotas to communities, administered by a trust set up by villagers. Once issued with their quota, they can then find global partners who will pay for the right to hunt. These rights are tightly controlled and hunting without a permit carries a hefty prison term ranging from five to ten years. The revenue from these permits goes directly into the community coffers.

All things which you'd imagine would be lacking in a country such as Africa... 

Last year, our government raised £1,635,000 from a 'Special Elephant Quota' of 70 elephants, money that was channelled into improving the lives of rural communities.

But sadly, Philda, no-one that you're up against in this challenge wants to improve the lives of rural communities. They don't even really want to save the animals. And they certainly don't want to hear the facts, even from you. 

Not Letting A Tragedy Go To Waste...

Former Lib Dem transport minister Norman Baker, has long campaigned against 4x4s on environmental grounds and believes they should face higher taxes to drive them off the road.

He told MailOnline: 'While they are useful for farmers, they are completely inappropriate for urban locations, and clearly more dangerous and have a bigger impact if a collision occurs.

'The taxation system should be changed to reflect that they are antisocial vehicles. We need to increase tax on them and make it social unacceptable to drive them in cities.'

Some of the victims of what's looking like a tragic accident that could have happened to a bus driver of lorry driver (all large heavy vehicles) are still in hospital. 

But don't let that stop you clutching their tattered blood-soaked clothing to your breast while you indulge yourself, eh. Norman? 

Not that you're the only rabid authoritarian out there...

John Scruby, a road safety campaigner and former policeman, suggested drivers of 4x4s could face extra tests before being allowed on the roads.

He told MailOnline: 'People in outlying areas need these vehicles, but I'm not sure that parents on the school run do.

How about we let people decide what they need, rather than some jumped up little popinjay? 

'Drivers need to be aware that they're in a four-ton killing machine and they need to be used accordingly.

If the driver did suffer a medical episode, she wouldn't have been aware of anything, would she? 

'As police officers we needed to take a separate course to drive a heavy vehicle. That's something we could look at with 4x4 drivers more generally.'

Hasn't stopped your former colleagues killing people while driving, has it? 

Who Are You Fooling, Inspector..?

Insp Richard Field (Ed: how appropriate!) said: "This is barbaric. You've had what are family pets, carved or killed for no purpose.

"There is no motive behind this crime."

Yes, it's a total mystery who might decapitatate sheep and remove the bodies, and why they might do so, isn't it? At this time of year. 

Maybe aliens have decided the US is too warm for livestock mutilation..?

Why Did This Take Three Days?

A food factory worker sued for race discrimination after he was served a smaller dollop of mayonnaise than his colleagues - but his case was thrown out.

*blinks* You know that feeling you get when you aren't sure if you're reading 'The Mail' or 'The Onion'? 

Chibogu Eze brought the case after he was given a small sachet of Hellman's mayonnaise because the larger tub ran out while employed by food producer Pilgrim's Pride at their Linton site near Cambridge.

After Mr Eze argued with canteen manager Dorina Rosu over portion sizes and said he was going to complain about her conduct, his employer contacted his recruitment agency and he was asked to leave the job. He claimed he was given a smaller portion because he was black, suing for race discrimination, harassment and victimisation.

Well, that probably didn't take long to throw out, right? 

However, after a three-day evaluation the panel found that he had not been discriminated against.

*blinks again* 

Who Wants This, And Why Do They Want It?

Almost every railway ticket office in England is expected to close over the next three years under controversial Government plans set to be announced tomorrow. The Rail Delivery Group is speeding up proposals to shut up to 1,000 offices in a move likely to prompt yet more strikes and further woe for passengers.

Because I doubt it's the passengers. Not all of them, anyway.  

Rail officials said ticket office sales have fallen from 85 per cent in 1995, when the rules on selling tickets were last reviewed, to 12 per cent on average today.

Ministers say they want to get ticket office staff onto concourses - but critics warn closures could see job losses and will make life harder for the disabled and elderly.

This is exactly the same as the push to remove serviced tills from supermarkets and force everyone to use self-service tills instead. But there are people who - for whatever reason - can't or won't use them. And it's just the same with rail travel. 

And you can trust the Tory government to make things even worse: 

Conservative Greg Smith MP, chair of the Transport Committee, told The Sun: 'We need to have a realistic conversation about ticket offices, especially those that are simply not used.

'But when unions are unleashing maximum disruption, having this debate on ticket offices now is putting a rocket under union anger and will only bring more disruption for travellers.'

Buckle up, commuters. It's going to be a bumpy ride ahead.  

Did The Taser Make Him Fall Backwards?

...or did he overbalance due to the massive chip on his shoulder?

Afriyie was driving three friends back from a party in east London in April 2018 when he was pulled over by police in the City.

Officers told him they believed he was speeding, but he was never prosecuted for this. He believes he was stopped because he was a black man driving a Mercedes.

There's hundreds of them, it's a target rich environment if police want to stop people just for that... 

His legal claim did not go into race discrimination but he said last year that police in the incident “treated him like a wild animal” and that the experience would never have happened to him if he was white.

He was breathalysed and arrested after the machine repeatedly failed to register a result, which can happen if users do not blow hard enough. He was asked to put his hands behind his back to be handcuffed, but pulled his arms away.

His job? Glad you asked, Reader. Youth worker.

Afriyie’s lawyer, Kevin Donoghue, said he was considering an appeal. “Mr Afriyie is exceptionally disappointed with the decision and is considering his options,” he said.

The court has yet to decide whether Afriyie has to pay costs.

I do hope the answer's 'yes'. Then he can teach his charges about those things called 'consequences'. 

This Is What Will Sink The Tory Party...

...despite making little effort to hide his whereabouts, the Home Office has seemingly been unable to locate the serial thief who has terrorised outer London for nearly a decade. But it took this newspaper just two weeks to find him.

The 'Mail' hacks do a better job than our Border Farce and police. Just let that sink in... 

We pieced together information from social media, newspaper clippings and intelligence from the Albanian community to track Puka down to a £250,000 two-bed terraced flat in Hounslow, west London. The property is owned by an accountant. Puka is not listed at the address. When we visited, he was spotted leaving in a £60,000 black Mercedes CLS Coupe to get a coffee in a T-shirt emblazoned with the words 'Weekend Offender' and 'Admit Nothing'.

He's spitting in our faces, and our government is doing nothing at all to stop it.  

Immigration minister Robert Jenrick has admitted to the deportation of just 'hundreds' of Albanians despite over 12,000 arriving on small boats in 12 months. Britain struck a 'gold standard' deal with Albania in a bid to improve the process. It includes convicts with a year left to serve in UK jails being freed early and deported. But when the BBC spoke to 50 Albanians deported under this deal in May, they said they would immediately attempt to return to the UK.

The Tory Party is finished. Stick a fork in it. It's done.  

No, 'We' Didn't, Unnamed Neighbour...

"We left two people in a very vulnerable situation and it could've worked out a lot worse than it did."

It was the people taking taxpayer's money to do a job that caused this. We're just the mugs left with the bill regardless.

The man had been due to be housed in a property with other asylum seekers and arrived in the North East on the evening of 20 June.

He spoke very little English and it remans unclear which country he had come from or how long he had been in the UK.

He spoke enough English to claim asylum, though, you'll note...

Mears Group said it was investigating what had happened and had met the asylum seeker on site as soon as staff knew he had arrived.

...

The company's annual report shows its 22% increase in revenue in 2021 was "largely driven" by its work finding hotel accommodation for asylum seekers.

It's money for old rope, isn't it? 

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

He's Not The Only One, Mihir...

Mihir Bose is the author of Dreaming The Impossible: The Battle to Create A Non-Racial Sports World, according to his 'Guardian' bio. He also seems to be a bit of an idiot.

For too long, senior leaders in cricket have been in denial about race. When I interviewed the veteran cricket administrator Tim Lamb for my book on creating a non-racial sports world, he said he had found no evidence of racism in the game. When I asked him about Yorkshire having a separate cricket league run by Asian Muslims, he did not see it as a problem.

Did you not wonder why there was a Black Police Association, Mihir? Did you not see that as a similar problem? 

“The fact of the matter is, rightly or wrongly, there are Asian cricketers and Asian clubs that feel more comfortable playing with their own kind,” he said. “I mean there are cultural differences.”

Are you denying that, then, Mihir? 

Then he said something that really rocked me: “Throughout our conversation we’ve talked about racist behaviour on the part of white people against black people, but I’m sure you wouldn’t deny that there is reverse racism by non-white people towards white people.”

I'd argue that. Because it's not 'reverse racism', it's just racism. But Mihir doesn't mention how he answered that question, does he, Reader? 

Within women’s cricket, racism is also evident. Of the 161 female players at professional level, players are disproportionately white, with only two Black British, four mixed/multiple ethnicity and eight South Asian female players.

Fancy! A team being disproportionally white in a country which is disproportionally white! 

This Isn't 'Clumsy Language', Sussex Police...

...far from it:

West Sussex local policing Superintendent Nick Dias said: 'Keeping the public safe and feeling safe is paramount and our officers and PCSOs work hard to tackle crime and anti-social behaviour, often in challenging circumstances.'

This one didn't. This one didn't work at all, did he? 

'We [work] closely with local retailers and partners to help prevent and respond to anti-social behaviour and assaults on shop workers.'

You didn't 'prevent' and you certainly didn't 'respond'.... 

'We are sorry for the clumsy language used by the PCSO in this exchange and acknowledge the public's concern.

'A police unit was dispatched to the scene as a matter of priority. Our response to this incident is being reviewed.'

Let's hope that PCSO's career is, too... 

'The sea doesn't care about your feelings.'

'The RNLI, sitting in their plush head offices in Poole, Dorset, are ruining the institution with their latest woke crusade.'

The whistleblower added: 'I am speaking because I can't stand what's going on here any longer.

'The sea doesn't care about your feelings. You need a solid boat, a strong pair of hands, and a belly for it,' they said.

And if you're in peril on the sea, do you give a damn who turns up, what colour or creed they are, who they like to go to bed with? 

The RNLI said earlier this month that it saved 108 Channel migrants' lives in 2022. It launched 290 times to rescue migrants, mainly from the South-East coast, including Hastings.

Oooof, that's not really the stunning rebuttal you might think it is... 

'A thorough investigation has taken place into behaviour at Hastings Lifeboat Station and appropriate action has been taken based on the findings.

'Local management continue to work closely with the station to create a positive environment to continue saving lives at sea.'

I'd have thought 'a positive environment' in one of these kind of workplaces was about teamwork, courage, fortitude, etc. But that's not the priority of the RNLI anymore: 

It added: 'At the RNLI we aim to be truly inclusive, valuing diversity and appreciating everyone for their individual contribution to saving lives at sea.

'To help us achieve this we are members of Stonewall's Diversity Champions programme, an advisory service based on the Equality Act, which assists employers to embed LGBT+ inclusion across their organisation.'

This organisation is going to prove as pernicious and devastating as the government response to covid, isn't it?  

Gosh, A Music Video, Eh..?

A 15-year-old boy and 23-year-old man have been killed after a horror night of violence in Archway.

Police were scrambled to Elthorne Road just after 11.30pm on Thursday. The boy died at the scene while the man was taken to hospital where he was pronounced dead. A third man, aged 28, was found at a nearby address with a stab injury which is not being considered life threatening.

Witnesses said a music video was being shot when violence flared.

They don't mention the genre. I wonder if it was easy listening? Rock? Pop? Country music, even...

A resident who knows the family of the 15-year-old boy described him as “a lovely boy from a lovely family.”

They always are, aren't they? 

It's Schrödinger's News Report!

Well, 'Mail', which is it?

Nailed It Again, Matt...

As you always do...

H/T: The Jannie via email

Sunday Funnies...

The BBC one doesn't really surprise me as much as it should have...

When Genuine Concern Translates As 'Hate Speech' To Crazy People...

A good example of the insanity that drives the current trans movement is encapsulated in this Tweet that I saw on Monday morning:

 

Intrigued as to what poor MsRowling could have done now to stir up the crazies, I read on:

The cognitive dissonance is to be expected - every one of the people in this thread believes they are right and everyone else is wrong. and furthermore, they'll be proven right at some point in the future. 

If Denmark had Twitter back in the 1930s, this is what a discussion on any dissent about the policy on sterilisation of mentally ill people would look like...

So at this point, I backtracked to find out what, exactly, had been retweeted. Had it been something controversial? 

Reader, it was this:

That's not only not at all a controversial view, it's a warning from a medical professional about the dangers of the 'treatment' other doctors are gaily indulging in. 

'Treatment' that leads to cases like this one:

A couple told of their horror after discovering teachers were aware their autistic teenage daughter was taking sex hormones when they had no idea. The parents said they were put in an 'impossible situation' after staff hid her 'social transition' from them. They had met the headteacher at her large secondary in south-east England and made it clear they did not agree to her being called a boy's name or pronouns.

But then they found out some teachers had been calling their daughter, now 16, a boy's name. Horrified, they hired lawyers to demand to see the school's records. These revealed some staff knew the pupil was taking cross-sex hormones to make her body more masculine and using a chest binder to flatten her breasts.

Ms Rowling must look back on her body of work and wonder if Voldemort was perhaps too tame a villain, considering what real life is showing people are capable of... 

I Thought 'The Vulture' Was Just A Spiderman Villain...

...but turns out there's a lot more of them at Marvel Comics. Whole flocks are gathering...

In a row that began before Lee died, his chief artistic collaborators, Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko, always claimed they had far more of a hand in the comics than the illustrations they were credited for. Last week, after the release of the documentary, the family of Kirby, who died in 1994, said Lee had “the fortunate circumstance to have access to the corporate megaphone and media” and made himself “the voice of Marvel” – overshadowing the parts other people played.

He founded the company. Of course he was its voice! 

Kirby’s son Neal told the Observer: “If you were to look at a list and timeline of Marvel’s characters from 1960 through 1966, the period in which the vast majority of Marvel’s main characters were created, you will see Lee’s name as a co-creator on every character, with the exception of the Silver Surfer, solely created by my father. Are we to assume Lee had a hand in creating every Marvel character?” Are we to assume that it was never the other co-creator that walked into Lee’s office and said, ‘Stan, I have a great idea for a character!’?”

Do you understand the term 'co-creator'...? It doesn't sound to me as if you've really grasped it, have you? 

The families of both Kirby and Ditko – who died a few months before Lee in 2018 – have been calling for more formal recognition for their part in creating the characters, especially now that Marvel is owned by Disney.

And this is purely motivated by concern for their legacy. And not, heaven forfend, filthy lucre...

One person gets it: 

Mark Millar is a Scottish writer who worked for both Marvel and its rival DC in the 1990s. For the former, he created with artist Bryan Hitch the series The Ultimates, which was heavily borrowed from for the first Avengers movie.

For Millar, his generation of comics creators went in “with their eyes open”. He says: “We knew that if we were working on characters owned by a company, we would never have any claim on them. It’s like if a decorator comes into your house. It’s their work and it looks great, but they don’t own your house!

Nice analogy. Accurate, too. 

“For people who came on board at the same time as me writing for Marvel was satisfying a childhood dream, but it also gave us an audience so we could create our own comics.”

Why did Kirby and Ditko not do that? Perhaps they didn't feel as aggrieved as their relatives do. It's funny how their relatives waited until they died, isn't it?