Happy New Year All!

And here's to 2020! May it be all we wish it to be...

Normal service will resume on Thursday.

Absent Friends....

As we begin the countdown to say a fond farewell to 2019 and welcome in a new year full of promise, please raise a glass with me to those we have lost:

Captain Ranty (Blog now sadly gone dark)

Unenlightened Commentary

Anna Raccoon

Dracunculus

Bystander, a sad loss to the world of profession-blogging.

Peter Risdon

Gone, but not forgotten.

Tweet Of The Month - Special Boxing Day Edition

Because it was far too delicious not to, here's the way Twitter reacted to news of arch-Remainer QC Jolyon's heroic Boxing Day battle with a marauding predator:

First, a reference to his greatest failure:

Then, a seasonal offering:

And finally, a tribute to the predominant poetry form of his outfit's originating country:

Thank you, Twitter. Take a bow!

Tweet Of The Month

A seasonal offering:

And a reminder that there's just no spinning some news...

Post Title Of The Month

And the field will be wide open in 2020 since the reigning champ hung up his spurs!

And Dumbjon takes the final win of 2019 with his post-election post:

Quote Of The Month

Al Jahom sums up the feelings of us all on some devastating news following BorisWin:

"Terrible shame, what?"

Post Of The Month

Hector Drummond on a seasonal warning for the Labour Party....

"Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls..."

"...It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world."

The Kinks weren't wrong, were they? As we hurtle towards 2020, and a new decade, you wonder what will top this.

You know, don't you, that some narcissistic exhibitionists somewhere are surely planning to...

You Vill Hold Ze Right Opinions!

Or else!

Commenting on the Rudiger incident, Sky Sports commentator Gary Neville said: 'I mentioned a couple of weeks ago we had a general election where both leaders of the main parties have problems with racism in their own party so we are seeing it at a major level, it's a far bigger problem than one individual person, maybe we have to empower the players to walk off the pitch and stop the entertainment.'

It was after this comment that Sky Sports presenter David Jones intervened to remind viewers that 'those are the opinions of Gary Neville and not Sky Sports'.

What's wrong with that?

Well, because it's 2019 (and I can't see 2020 is going to be much better), and no-one should ever interrupt someone in the midst of their virtue signalling, of course!

Neville was not best pleased at Jones' response and said: 'Do you not agree with them Dave?'

Jones replied: 'Whether I do or I don't is irrelevant. I'm here to try and hold a balanced debate.'

The mob were duly fired up on social media, to force this upstart who thinks broadcasting impartiality should stand in the way of a good old-fashioned wallow in how awful this country is, to retract:

Having faced criticism for his intervention, Jones issued an apology after the broadcast.

Silly man. You can't appease the mob. You shouldn't even try.

He tweeted: 'I'm so sorry to have spoiled what was such an important discussion on racism tonight. I had to intervene when Gary suggested the two main political parties were to blame - I didn't make that clear enough. For that I apologise unreservedly.

'I would never purposefully shut down a discussion on racism. I've worked for Sky for over 20 years and know they share my view that racism of any kind should not be tolerated. That is not a debate. And that's why I'm so very disappointed and sorry tonight.'

Not half as much as the sensible majority are 'disappointed and sorry', David.

Too Much Sherry In The Christmas Trifle, Sutton Guardian Editor..?

...and you clearly didn't get a spell checker for Christmas!

Sunday Funnies...

Really, none of this should surprise anyone, should it..?

Getting Them Young...

A third of nursery workers want to ban...

Sweets? Tantrums?

...plastic toys in favour of more natural play items, according to a poll.

Err...

Some are opting for wooden alternatives, while others are attempting to make use of everyday finds such as shells, leaves and sticks.

Progressives who don't actually want to progress, but regress!

In total, 34 per cent of those surveyed by daynurseries.co.uk said they would like their nursery to ban plastic toys.

Is it a practical thing to desire? Reader, it is not...

Sarah Woolley, the owner of Brook Cottage Childcare in Stoke-on-Trent, said her nursery has tried to buy more wooden toys, but found the increased cost to be an issue.

She said: 'There's a lot of beautiful stuff available but the thing we've found is not only is it a lot more expensive, but it breaks so easily, whether it be splitting along the grain of the wood or whether it be the joints of the toy coming apart.

'There's not a week goes by that we haven't got something for the caretaker to repair, to try and fix it back together, and quite often they end up getting thrown away.'

You couldn't make it up, could you? But they aren't learning from this. They never do.

She said all her staff now look out for items that can be used in the nursery, and the process helps educate children and families on reducing waste and reusing items instead.

/facepalm

Baffling...

Mr Diya, who was a Christian pastor in south-east London, and his daughter are both understood to be British while his son was travelling on a US passport.

His wife Olubunmi Diya, 49, and younger daughter Favour Diya, 14, were also on the holiday but were unharmed.

On Thursday they told investigators that none of their relatives could properly swim and only nine-year-old Comfort had 'some idea'.

Then why would you go anywhere near a pool of that size? It's an odd mentality that seems quite prevalent with certain sectors.

What Was He Supposed To Use, Harsh Language..?

A former Tory MP who manhandled a Greenpeace protester who invaded a back tie dinner in the City broke the ministerial code of conduct, an investigation into the incident found today.

Well, in that case, it's not worth the paper it's printed on...

A Cabinet Office probe today found that he was 'justified in intervening to try to stop' Ms Barker reaching the top table as protesters disrupted the beginning of then-chancellor Philip Hammond's speech.

Wait! So...what's the problem?

But it also found that, although he had to make a 'split-second decision', he did not need to use force to stop her.

How does this civil servant sitting in his comfortable office suggest he should have handled it, then?

The Prime Minister's independent adviser on ministerial standards Sir Alex Allan said that he 'had the option of simply blocking her way' during the incident in London's Mansion House.

Or he could have waited for 'others to shepherd her out rather than pushing her by the neck out of the room and down the stairs'.

That sums up the modern civil service way, I suppose: "Get someone else to do it..."

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Normal service will resume on Boxing Day!

Worst Nativity Scene EVER!

Merry Christmas!

What's To 'Investigate'...?

Owoeye, 49, who is Nigerian, is thought to be the first person in London to be convicted of fraud after receiving payments while under ‘no recourse to public funds’ (NRPF) immigration status.

She pocketed more than £114,000 over five years.

Nice 'work' if you can get it!

She was found guilty of three charges of fraud following a four-day trial at Woolwich Crown Court last month.

She was subsequently jailed for two years by Judge Jonathan Mann QC, who told her: ‘There is only one reason you did what you did and this is because you are greedy. For you this was money for nothing.’

And she'd still be doing it, with no one in authority any the wiser, if she hadn't annoyed her tenant, who dobbed her in:

The court heard that Owoeye first came to the UK from Nigeria in 2002. She then made a fraudulent mortgage application, claiming she was working in the software industry and earning £41,000 a year. This allowed her to buy a home in Erith, south-east London, for £156,000 in June 2008.

She moved out four years later and lived with a friend. In 2013 she approached Bexley Council for support, claiming to be homeless. She told staff that she had been evicted by a landlord, and was re-housed in Dartford and then Crayford.

But her lies were uncovered in January last year when the tenant at her Erith home approached the council to make a complaint.

So...will the State now act?

While Owoeye is in jail, officials will investigate her right to remain in the UK on her release.

Take your time, fellas, it's not like there's any more out there, eh?

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 12

And to close on the one song I always have to hear, or play, on Christmas Eve:



Have a very good musical Christmas, whatever your tastes.

Don't Mention The War Weapon!

Horrific! What's the immediate concern of the police? Is it to allay the public's concerns?

Initial reports suggested that a knife had been involved in the murders, but Sussex Police have told MailOnline that they strongly refuted this claim.

Eh..? Really? That's their immediate take?

Detective Chief Inspector Alex Geldart, of the Sussex and Surrey major crime team, said: 'In response to media speculation I wish to make it absolutely clear that this is not a knife crime.'

The force gave no further details about the arrested man, the cause of death or how the violence unfolded.

What was it, then? Lightsaber?

Update: Just before this was due to post, the 'Mail' updated their story:

Are you reassured?

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 11

It wouldn't be Christmas without driving stress. Here's a timely reminder!

I Thought It Was Heading The Ball That Increased The Risk Of Dementia...

...turns out, handling the ball does the same!

Sunday Funnies...

Yeah, they were wise to leave out no. 6...

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 10

Seems appropriate at this season, and with this recent election result:

Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar...

...and sometimes a polar bear is just a polar bear! But Tyler Dean is disappointed:

These are two instances where racist subplots and worldbuilding in the novels have either been resolved or muted by the show.

'The show' being Phillip Pullman's extraordinary novels adapted for the BBC as 'His Dark Materials'. One of the best tv shows they've put on in 2019, at that.

But there is a slightly more unavoidable issue represented by the character of Iorek Byrnison. While Iorek is, of course, an armored, sentient polar bear and not a specific caricature of a particular ethnic group, he does generally accumulate tropes associated with the figure of the “noble savage.”

Oh. Here we go.

Enter Iorek Byrnison: a violent, intensely honor-driven character from a “primitive” culture who teaches the protagonist about life by virtue of their (in this case eventual) moral superiority. While the panserbjørn are, of course, not human beings, it is striking that much of the culture Pullman invents for them is based firmly in a series of Noble Savage stereotypes. When this is paired with offhand remarks in both the novels and the show about how Iorek was tricked into dishonorable behavior because he was given alcohol, we have a character that is an amalgam of Noble Savage stereotypes with a hint of First Nations-directed racism thrown in.

And who is this chap, who can apparently see racism in a children's book? Why, none other than one of California's finest whackademics, of course!

Tyler Dean is a professor of Victorian Gothic Literature. He holds a doctorate from the University of California Irvine and teaches at a handful of Southern California colleges.

I'm only astounded he hasn't - yet - featured in David Thompson's blog...

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 9

That utterly incomparable voice:

We Need These Psychological Tests Done On The Judge...

Jake Chapman, 21, jumped out of the Ford and ran, leaving the vehicle across the tracks near Faversham.

A passenger train travelling at speeds of up to 75mph ploughed into the car, which burst into flames.

Chapman had done nothing to alert authorities before the collision at the Stone Crossing at Buckland, near Norton.

A learner driver who just panicked? No. Not even close:

Maidstone Crown Court was told Chapman, of The Quays, Sittingbourne, already had eight points on his licence, despite not having yet passed a driving test.

*sighs*

Ed Fowler, defending, said Chapman underwent psychological tests which revealed he had "cognitive deficits".

Chapman was given a 19-month jail sentence, suspended for two years, and was ordered to remain indoors for the next four months between 8pm and 6am.

Seriously?!?

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 8

Utterly bonkers, but I love it:

Well, Better Take Me In, Officers!

Here are 10 motoring offences you didn't know existed:

1. Using a phone to pay at a drive-through

2. Swearing when you're behind the wheel

3. Sounding your horn while stationary

4. Playing your music too loud

5. Driving with a pet not restrained

6. Splashing pedestrians

7. Using your unfixed mobile as a sat nav

8. Sleeping in your car while drunk

9. Driving too slowly

10. Flashing cars to warn them of a speed trap.

I am definitely guilty of one of these! I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess which...

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 7

One that lost me a point in a quiz night, since I put 'Emerson, Lake and Palmer' down as the answer!

But I forgive it, because as soon as I hear those first few bars, I know Christmas is coming...

Isn't 'Rapist Is Jailed' A Much Shorter Headline...

...as well as being far more accurate?

Liam Stanley Hunter, 25, knew her real age when he stayed with the girl’s family under a false name and slept with her.

As soon as her parents found out his real name, they drove him to a police station, said Nick Adlington, prosecuting.

Touching faith in the justice system, there....

After Hunter was released on bail, the 15-year-old girl went missing and her father found her with Hunter at the local bus station.

Hunter, of no fixed address, pleaded guilty to two charges of sexual activity with a child and meeting a child following sexual grooming. He was jailed for three and a half years, made subject to a sexual harm prevention order for six years and put on the sex offenders’ register for life.

The Recorder of York, Judge Sean Morris, said it was persistent offending and it was obvious what would have happened but for the girl’s father finding the pair at the bus station.

In other parts of the world, the father would have resolved matters himself. But we are 'civilised'. 

Funny, I've Never Heard Any On Radio Two...

The mother of a teenager hunted down and stabbed to death in a “ferocious” attack by an armed gang today called for an end to London’s street violence.

Police said that following the attack at 7pm on February 22, members of the group “boasted about their murderous exploits in drill videos” posted on social media.

Mr Gabbidon-Lynck’s mother Melanie said “no parent should have to bury their child” and called for radio stations to stop promoting drill rap.

I guess it depends on what stations you listen to...

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 6

'Carols From Kings' was always a family tradition growing up, my dad loved it. I usually had my nose buried in a book, but one would always get me to stop and listen.

And it's this one:

Let's Blame The LibDems!

It is a bitter pill for the community in Kensington North to swallow. This morning, almost 30 months since the fatal fire at that killed 54 adults and 18 children, the general election returned a Conservative MP, Felicity Buchan, by just 150 votes.

Ouch!

A swing of 9% to the Lib Dems in this strongly remain borough gave Gyimah more than 9,000 votes, splitting the vote.

Sure. It can't possibly be because the voters of Kensington are sick to the back teeth with the griefwhoring over Grenfell, can it?

If Buchan wants to last in Kensington, she will need to quickly familiarise herself with the commitments already given by council leaders, study the work set out in the Independent Taskforce reports, and deliver on promised change.

Or ignore it all. It's a gamble, but one she may just win...

"Those responsible continue to remain at large, however, we don’t believe they pose any risk to the wider community."

No, just other drug dealers:

Police attended Tintern Avenue in Westcliff at 4.25am yesterday and discovered a man with stab wounds to his body.

Despite the efforts of paramedics, the man sadly died of his injuries at the scene.

Following further investigations, police believe that the suspects involved attacked the man during a targeted drugs related burglary.

Lovely!

“We are making enquiries to identify the victim, his family and the people responsible."

They don't know yet who the victim is...?

I remember when Westcliff was a nice part of Southend. Not any more...

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 5

Never, ever let it be said that on this blog, we scorn diversity!

I Can't Help But Wonder At The Story Behind This Sign...

It appeared in my local Boots a few weeks ago. And I'm used to seeing these signs in the sort of places where the service is so bad, they are necessary. Like Tube stations.

But Boots...?

A New Euphemism..?

Olawale Kehinde, 43, was last seen in Erith at 7pm on Friday, December 6.

Officers say he may be agitated, and if anyone spots him they are advised not to approach.

I wonder what they mean by that..?

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 4

A personal favourite, this is one that never fails to put a smile on my face:



Though that might just be because it was so beautifully reworked by the Amateur Transplants into this little number:

 

‘Ear! ‘Ear!

*sighs* At least they got the animal species right!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Once Again, 'It's Only Taxpayer's Money'...

Three extra emergency shelters were launched this winter in the county, in line with Worcestershire’s Severe Weather Emergency Protocol (SWEP), including in Malvern’s Salvation Army base in Newtown Road.

These facilities open their doors to rough sleepers when the temperature drops below zero – however, since the protocol was first put in place this winter on November 8, no-one has accessed the Malvern shelter.

Oops!

Campaign group Hugo’s Earthquake have criticised plans to launch Maggs Malvern Day Centre – which will cost £25,000 just to set up – and instead want more funding put into reinstating a “comprehensive outreach service”.

They seem to have a good case, too:

A grant application for the centre cited the 735 food vouchers redeemed from Malvern Foodbank – many of which were repeat visits – suggests more than 100 accommodated people will benefit from the pilot scheme, on top of any rough sleepers who reside in Malvern.

But Mr Jeffery said: “Foodbank use is not a reliable evidence base for street homeless numbers, so why is this used in a business case?”

Why, indeed? Is it because these things don't get proper scrutiny?

“İt is clear that there is no evidence that rough sleepers are attracted to Malvern because of services and this is backed up furthermore by no rough sleepers attending the SWEP shelters.

“The HEC does not believe a Maggs Centre is needed in Malvern, but instead we continue to call for reinstatement of the comprehensive outreach service which functions across the county,” he added.

Hard to disagree. It seems 'Field of Dreams' was wrong, sometimes you build it and no-one comes!

So Close, Yet So Far...

Hmmmm....

Aha!

I can only conclude the 'Mail' is using some sort of speech-to-text system.

Sunday Funnies...

I really can't say no 6 comes as much of a surprise. Or no 2..!

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 3

A bit controversial, as ... well, is it really a Christmas song at all? The lyrics don't mention it.


But it's in, anyway. Because the cheeky video makes it a Christmas song for me.

What Sort Of Job...?

Ryan Rodgers hit back at his mother-in-law's claims that he's a 'workshy liar' to insist he is looking for a job – and only quit one last year after a cancer scare.

To afford to keep seven children he's going to need to be a CEO of a large utility company!

Jenny, who had her first child when she was 17, said she does not believe in abortion and said they have only recently hit hard times.

The tattooed dad blamed the Government's benefits cap for their dire situation and on the GoFundMe page said they were ashamed to beg for money.

Yes. It's the government's fault they've bred themselves out of their accommodation. Isn't it always?

Before the benefits cap was introduced the pair received £2,100 a month.

But with the limit in force they now only receive £480 a month in Universal Credit after their rent and a loan is deducted.

Personally, I still think that's £400 too much...

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

It Seems There's Someone Else To Blame Too...

The mother of Britain's youngest gang victim has called on people to ask themselves if taking drugs is worth it as children are 'dropping like flies'.

Yes, children unassociated with the drug trade are just keeling over in their bedrooms in the Hebrides and Jersey, and the wilds of Cumbria.

Jaden Moodie, 14, was said to have been 'groomed' by a drug gang before he was targeted by rival Mali Boys in east London in January.

They are always 'groomed', aren't they? They never make a choice. Gosh, no!

His mother, Jada Bailey, has now called on people to question if taking drugs is worth it and has said there are lots of people to blame for his death including the 'groomers' and the 'dealers'.

But not his family, oh no! Or him.

Jurors also learned that Jaden had been in trouble with police since he was a 13-year-old. He was handed a youth conditional caution in March last year after police seized an air-powered pistol, Rambo knife and cannabis during an altercation in Nottingham.

In November last year, he admitted appearing in a Snapchat video with an imitation firearm.

The previous month, Jaden was found with crack cocaine at an address in Bournemouth, jurors were told.

What a loveable scamp!

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 2

Cheesy? Check! Overblown? Check!

But I love it...


And for me, it's just not Christmas until I've heard it at least once.

I'll Answer That For You...

...it's not:

'Quite a lot of parents expressed dismay at the lack of consultation,' she said.

'Everyone was surprised. There was a lot of concern about whether deciding on a child's diet was the domain of a childcare provider.'

Why are you surprised? Don't you read the news? Aren't you aware that the streak of control freakery runs deep through the educational system these days?

It's hardly surprising it's now extending to nurseries.

The nursery, which caters for children aged two to five years, has since apologised to parents and has decided to compromise with vegetarian dishes.

Some 'compromise'. But unless parents vote with their feet, these little Hitlers (literally!) will continue with their arrogance:

It comes after a nursery in Cheshire slammed by angry parents after becoming one of the first in Britain to introduce a totally vegan menu.

Jigsaw Day Nurseries in Chester is set to introduce the new menu from January, removing meat, fish, eggs and dairy products and adopting an entirely plant-based diet for its 260 children, aged 0-4.

 It's no good just complaining - remove your child, and they'll soon have to stop.

Claire Taylor, founder of the nurseries, which is Chester's largest private childcare provider, defended the decision which she says was 'made with the children and the planet's future in mind.'

What was it C S Lewis said again? How right he was....

Rejoice, Rejoice!

At the time of posting, it looks very much like it's going to be a Tory government again. And with a significant majority into the bargain!

I know, I know...it's not very 'Tory' at all. And the future of Brexit isn't a done deal, it's going to be an uphill struggle.

But Labour have been seen off in decisive fashion! Britain rejected the politics of hatred and division.

And the party must surely now begin the Night of the Long Knives to remove the toxic Corbyn and Momentum faction, and restore it to a party people can vote for with a clear conscience once again.

Why, it's almost as if it's Christmas!

The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 1

It's time to get into the Christmas frame of mind! And forget about the election for at least 5 minutes...

So here's 12 of my favourite Christmas songs, the ones I always listen out for as the season approaches, on the radio or in stores.

And this is one that really doesn't get enough airplay:

 

I prefer this to any of the more traditional versions.

Though any version of it must be tinged with horror for any surviving officers (if there are any) who dealt with the Moors murders back in the Sixties...

"We Give In To Blackmail..!"

"...which might be why Brighton is a cesspit, I dunno, it's a puzzle."

Speaking to The Argus at the Big Sleep Out, Labour’s Cllr Brennan, who joined Brighton and Hove City Council in May, said: “I want to help the rough sleeping and homeless situation.

“If it was left to me, there wouldn’t be much left in the budget.

“We are using a welfare-first strategy,

“With the tent situation, we are spending so much on enforcement but the community are the ones giving out the tents.

“Instead of eviction, they have to be having some form of support and help – what’s the point of constantly moving them on around the city?”

Ooh, I dunno, maybe giving the poor bloody voters a temporary break from stepping in human excrement on their front doorstep?

Cllr Brennan said this strategy worked with a man who had been camping on Hove Lawns for months, called “Mr Dogg”.

The rough sleeper, who lived on the protected lawns with at least eight tents, complete with a barbecue and camping chairs, has now moved into accommodation.

In August, “Mr Dogg” told The Argus that he would only move if he was given his own flat.

 And he was! Well, it beats working for it, I suppose...

Cllr Brennan said: “I would say to officers they can’t move him, they have to work with him. I was letting them know that he has rights.

“It is a more personalised approach and because I’ve known him, he has compromised.”

Where's the 'compromise' here? What about the taxpayers who are working to fund their own flats?

Cllr Brennan said: “The amount of people with needs – whether it is mental health problems or drug addiction – is rife.”

“This is a symptom of the government cuts.”

No, it's a symptom of Brighton becoming known as a soft touch for scroungers. Thanks to you. And to the idiots who vote for you.

Make no mistake - if you vote Labour today, you're voting for much, much more of this.

Today's The Day....

...so go out and vote. Whatever flavour you support, at least have your say. No matter what the weather.

I will. Because to not take part seems unthinkable. Especially if the unthinkable should happen...

You know it makes sense!

H/T: Ann Sheridan via Twitter

Well, Do We Believe In Rehabilitation, Or Not?

A jihadi convicted of terrorist activity? Awww, give him a chance! And if that turns out to be wrong, don't you dare criticise the valuable concept of rehabilitation!

A boyfriend convicted of stalking after a messy break up? He's a monster! He should be exiled to the farthest reaches of the world and never allowed to complete his education!

Double standards - I know I keep saying it, but if it wasn't for those, the Left wouldn't have any at all, would they?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Your Honour...

A judge told a teenager he was not 'some windbag in a silly cloak' as he gave the boy a wigging for flouting his generosity in sparing him jail.

Oh, a wigging, eh?

Stating that he thought the boy, who went on the run after breaching a court order, was sticking two fingers up at him, Judge Burgess added: 'I am not here to be touchy feely forever and a day.'

So, straight to the cells with hi...

Oh. Silly me.

The judge told the teenage defendant he would give him a final chance and would call him back to court on January 6 to check if he had complied with his youth order, or face a custodial sentence.

*rolls eyes*

I Suppose Small Children Thrown Off High Buildings Are A Small Price To Pay...

No, not wheelchair users or the blind:

Patients with learning disabilities and autism have been detained for more than a decade while the number of children kept in hospitals is rising.

Naturally, this is an OUTRAGE!

Rhidian Hughes, the VODG chief executive, said: “It is hard to imagine any other circumstances in which a British citizen could be detained indefinitely by the state, without trial.

“A rate that only halves the population of people living in long-stay units after 20 years is simply not good enough. Secluded institutionalised care is fundamentally wrong and exposes some of the most vulnerable citizens to serious risk of harm and risks damaging their wellbeing.”

We've seen what releasing them into the population does to others' wellbeing, though, haven't we?

As well as having an autistic spectrum disorder, Bravery has an obsessive compulsive disorder and is likely to have a personality disorder. He has been held at Broadmoor hospital since mid-October.

He told the police he had to prove a point “to every idiot” who said he had no mental health problems, asking police if the incident was going to be on the news. He said: “I wanted to be on the news, who I am and why I did it, so when it is official no one can say anything else.”

I'd rather the State erred on the side of caution.

Is That Wise...?

Stress balls, lip balm and sunglasses worth thousands of pounds have been bought by cash-strapped police chiefs, despite claims of a crisis in funding for frontline services.

Stress balls, eh? Bit dangerous! But as it turns out, the headline's a bit misleading:

Branded merchandise such as selfie frames, furry policemen and even Tardis-style police box models are among £250,000 worth of goods purchased by Police and Crime Commissioners to boost awareness of their roles – despite frequent demands by PCCs for more government funding.

So, not 'police chiefs' at all. Just the much-vaunted extra layer of bureaucrats that were supposed to bring the actual police to heel. That worked well, eh?

PCCs say their merchandise helps to build community relations. Mrs Mountstevens’s office said: ‘Using items branded with our contact details or information about what we do and how the public can have a say is an effective way of engaging people.’

What's the point, when you ignore them just as much as the police themselves?

I Know Who I'd Rather Hear From...

Boris Johnson:

"But I still think it's wrong that someone like Usman Khan who was sentenced 21 years or 16 years plus five on licence should have been out automatically in eight years.”

Father of Jack Merritt:

“We don’t know all the fact about this case yet, and we won’t know for some time – the inquest could take up to 2 years.

“We don’t know why Khan killed, or what, if anything could have been done differently to prevent it. Let’s have an enquiry, not a witch hunt.”

So...to sum up, we don't know all the facts and shouldn't rush to judgement, unless it's about Boris? Have I got that right?

But Can They Read, Write And Add Up...?

...or isn't that important any more?

Thrive trains teachers to make pupils feel safe and secure, as well as empowering them to meet their emotional and social needs.

It encourages pupils to be creative, so they can better understand and manage their emotions whilst developing their emotional literacy skills.

As a Thrive ambassador school, Thomas Arnold will share good practice with other schools, which will involve hosting workshops and awareness sessions for headteachers in the area.

I guess it isn't...

Had 'A Loss' To Drink At An Early Christmas Party, 'Mail' Editors?

It's the only thing that explains that!

"Hey, Editor, We're Going For A Double!"

I... I mean... *boggle*

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

The justice system is mostly luck, isn't it...?

Twitter's Naughty Step...

I'm on it for 6 days.

Apparently, suggesting the police should shoot motorcycle thieves they've just knocked off their bike in some South American country is beyond the pale.

Well, I've learned my lesson. Next time, I'll just mock them as paedophiles, that's apparently just fine and dandy!

You can catch me on Gab in the meantime. And I'll see you in 6 days, Twitter followers!

And They Will Strike Down Upon Thee With Great Vengeance And Furious Anger...

Frustrated passengers have reported they, and others, are so angry at the almost-constant queues and problems at c2c train stations that nasty incidents could erupt.

There could be tutting! And shaking of heads!

There have been increasing problems at c2c stations, including the failure of the ticketing software, Smart card and Flexi ticket issues, while the Echo has reported on customers being charged five weeks’ worth of ticket payments all at once.

These issues have caused almost daily queues which snake out of some stations’ entrance doors, causing customers being delayed several hours in rush hours.

That all sounds a lot like normal service from c2c, to me!

A c2c spokesman said: “We know our new ticket retailing system has endured some instability in recent weeks.

“We have been working hard with our suppliers IBM to resolve these technical issues, and we thank our customers for their ongoing patience while we ensure c2c has the modern ticketing systems they expect from us.

“We are very proud of the hard work of all our staff and will not tolerate any threats against anyone who works for c2c.

“If any threats like this are made, we will report them to the British Transport Police and initiate legal proceedings to ban offenders from travelling on the c2c network.”

It's not like they can travel anywhere on it, lately, is it..?

What's A Report Going To Tell You That Common Sense Isn't?

Joseph Holden appeared at Oxford Crown Court on Friday after pleading guilty to a string of motoring offences in Headington and Cowley Road.

The 25-year-old was caught on April 8 this year and charged with aggravated vehicle theft, driving while disqualified, handling stolen goods and driving with no insurance.

An open and shut case, surely?

An earlier sentencing hearing was adjourned after presiding Judge Peter Ross criticised the 'very poor' quality of a report from the National Probation Service.

Yesterday the same court judge slammed another 'useless' report by the probation service.

We aren't told what, exactly, is wrong with the report. Nor why the judge's dissatisfaction with the probation service should mean that a prolific offender is set free to wreak more havoc...

He ordered that Holden be made subject to a three-month period of deferment before final sentencing is passed.

I expect the judge's car has a good alarm system.

They Really Do (Get Mutilated To) Look Like Their Owners...

A Blackpool man had his dog’s ears mutilated in an illegal operation to make him look more intimidating – after telling a friend ‘a dog with big floppy ears... is not the kind of dog I want’.

Simon Broscombe, 35, had his six-month-old American pit bull cross’s floppy ears cut back to short points to give the pup a more ‘street cred’ look.

And does the owner mutilate himself to improve his 'street cred'?

Reader, he does:

Facial tattoos. How charming...

RSPCA prosecutor Paul Ridehalgh said: “This dog is a cross between an American pit bull and American staffie.

“The investigators found pictures of Tyson with his ears intact and the defendant knew that ear cropping in the UK is illegal.

“Owners want cropped ears because it makes the animal more intimidating.

“These ears were mutilated and [Broscombe] would not say who did it which obstructed the RSPCA investigating.”

Then bang him up until he names the culprit!

Trevor Colebourne, defending,said: ”My client bought the dog via a breeder thinking it had had his ears cropped in Holland before being brought into the UK.

“He would not name the person who carried out the procedure as he had been given a threat to keep his mouth shut and not be a grass.”

The dog was destined for illegal fighting, I'll be bound...

Broscombe was banned from keeping or being involved in the keeping of any animal for seven years. He was given a 12 week jail term, suspended for 18 months. He must do 200 hours of unpaid work for the community and must pay £715 in court costs.

It should have been a lifetime ban.

Where's The Equality?

A woman who posted naked pictures of her ex-boyfriend in an online 'revenge porn' attack has had her jail term suspended after an appeal.

Was that all she did? Reader, it was not...

...she left key marks in his car, included the inscription of one particularly offensive expletive.

Ashraf also sent an abusive e-mail to the man's employer calling him 'absolutely disgusting' and saying he had 'assaulted many girls.'

Police were contacted and when she was interviewed she claimed her victim had in fact taken intimate pictures of her without her consent and sent them to friends.

It's amazing that the police didn't immediately turn around and begin investigating him.

In mitigation Peter Du Feu said his client, a university student, had spent four days of her sentence behind bars.

He added that she had hopes of a placement at the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida and that was now in jeopardy.

Well, yes. Why would the US want someone with a criminal record?

But that's not mitigation, it's what we call 'consequences'...

Sentencing, Judge Nigel Daly called Ashraf's behaviour 'particularly nasty' and said while the jail length was 'appropriate,' it could be suspended.

She was jailed for 18 weeks suspended for two years and must complete 15 rehabilitation days and pay compensation.

Why? Where's the justice?

Makes A Nice Change...

The mother of a man who beat his puppy to death cheered as her son was jailed after joining animal rights protesters in court.

Usually, the underclass parents are there to whinge at how 'unfair' it is. So this is refreshing!

Jon-Luc McLoughlin, 26, savagely punched 11-month-old Alsatian Lexi to death before dumping her body near some trees, which traumatised children later found.

His sentencing hearing was attended by around 25 animal rights campaigners and among them was the defendant’s mother and half-brother.

McLoughlin, from Poole, Dorset, was jailed for 16 weeks but his sibling, Alec Mackay said the sentence wasn’t long enough.

It wasn't.

James Moore, mitigating, said that the defendant was a ‘deeply troubled individual’ and asked for him to be offered rehabilitation.

He said: ‘We are a nation of animal lovers and this has caused a lot of anger in the whole community.

‘He lost control and acted in blind rage. We all to some extent sometimes lose control and regret it.

‘Mr McLoughlin has done that in a significant way and will have to live with that. However, he has not done it because he is depraved, he has done it because he is a deeply troubled individual.’

Let's hope he's 'deeply troubled' in jail. By animal lovers who won't confine their displeasure to a few harsh words...

No! We Can't Handle The Truth! Pt248624

Police have been accused of hanging “victim-blaming“ baubles on a Christmas tree in a church.

Yeah. You all know where this is going, right? And why?

“Don’t drink to excess” and “being drunk makes you vulnerable” are printed messages serving as decorations for Suffolk Constabulary’s festive tree, according to images posted on social media.

Amy Roch, from Suffolk Rape Crisis centre, told The Independent the messages are "totally wrong" as they are "focussing attention in the wrong place".

God forbid women take responsibility...

Charles Jenkin, the vicar for the church holding the Christmas tree festival, said: "St Mary-le-Tower church welcomes the 'Suffolk Police Safety at Christmas' tree in our festival.

"It is full of sensible advice, although taken altogether it is a rather sad reflection of how careful people have to be these days to stay safe."

How long do you give it until he - and Suffolk Police - are forced into a climbdown, and have to remove the tree?

Pity It Wasn't His Neck...

A young thug who threatened to kill a woman in a terrifying robbery tried to escape police by jumping over a garden wall - only to fall 50 feet down a railway embankment and break his wrist in the process.

Gareth Bellis, defending, said Rawlings was still a young man and had not used a weapon or attempted to physically harm the victim during the robbery.

Even the brief was phoning it in for this scum!

H/T: LivEchoCourt via Twitter

Ladies And Gentlemen, Meet The New Brendan Cox!

'Don't use my son's death for political propaganda!' says Jack Merritt, as he uses his access to the 'Guardian' to do exactly that...

What Jack would want from this is for all of us to walk through the door he has booted down, in his black Doc Martens.

That door opens up a world where we do not lock up and throw away the key. Where we do not give indeterminate sentences, or convict people on joint enterprise. Where we do not slash prison budgets, and where we focus on rehabilitation not revenge. Where we do not consistently undermine our public services, the lifeline of our nation. Jack believed in the inherent goodness of humanity, and felt a deep social responsibility to protect that.

That belief got him killed. I'd rather it didn't get any future innocents killed.

So that door can stay firmly closed, with the Islamist terrorists firmly on the other side of it.

The Female Of The Species....

A spokesman for Essex Police said: "We were called by colleagues at the ambulance service around 3.15pm with reports a girl had been stabbed at a school on Delaware Road, Shoebury.

"The girl was taken to hospital with injuries not believed to be serious.

"Officers arrived and arrested a 12-year-old girl on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm.

"Enquiries are ongoing."

What a lovely place England is becoming....

"We don't need another hero..."

I don't know about that.

I do know we don't need another Sean O'Grady, who - while everyone was praising the courage of the men who took on a terrorist with a fire extinguisher and narwhal tusk - was wringing his hands and pleading 'Leave it to the police..':

...is it entirely right for the public to react in this way? Usually the authorities tell people to leave dangerous criminals alone, and leave it to the authorities. On this occasion the suicide vest was false – but what, actually, if it was real? What if the very acts of selfless heroism by those who took the man down actually triggered a bomb that might otherwise not have exploded? Or had done so with still more deaths and casualties than if everyone had fled the scene instead? Or what if someone panicked and an innocent was attacked by a mob?

I looked up the term 'beta male'  in the dictionary, Sean. There wasn't a definition, though. There was just a photo of you.

...the authorities, if they want to preserve our safety, should give us a clearer more consistent advice in the event that we are caught up in such events. It is by no means clear what the right “right thing to do” actually is.

It was crystal clear to those people, one of whom was a convicted murderer.

No 'Community', No 'Shock'...

A community has been left in shock after a man was shot outside a convenience store in Southend in what police are calling a “targeted” attack.

Oh noes! Where?

Officers conducted a thorough search of the area following the incident, outside The York Superstore, in York Road, at about 9.20pm on Tuesday.

Ah. Yes, it would be, wouldn't it...?

Carrie-Ann Wilcox, 26, lives near to where the shooting took place. She said: “I know this isn’t the best road in Southend but I can’t believe someone has been shot near on our doorstep.”

Heh! Keep that sense of humour, Carrie-Ann, love...

The Mother Of All Freudian Slips....

I can only assume it's a typo for 'entertaining', but....

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Don't Fancy This New Heston Blumenthal Recipe Either!

...ummm....?

Sunday Funnies...

Yanks, don't listen! It's a trap! Ribena is horrible!