Tweet Of The Month

Post Title Of The Month

Tom Paine on sport:

Quote Of The Month

David Thompson on activists' hopes for the latest woke Disney remake, 'Snow White':

"Readers are invited to ponder the conceit that a massively expensive film based on a classic tale for children should exist chiefly to “empower our movement,” i.e., to affirm the politics of mouthy, ungifted actresses.

Rather than, say, to entertain children. Still, I suppose it’s to be expected that obnoxious, narcissistic women should want to re-write a tale that, in its various original forms, is pretty much a warning against female narcissism and spite."

Post Of The Month

Nick Drew at Capitalists@Work offers an incisive look at the Russia/Ukraine situation. 

Sadly, There's Nothing 'Shocking' About It...

This is the horrific moment a 76-year-old pensioner and her pet labradoodle were viciously attacked by a crazed dog on the streets of Birmingham - resulting in the woman being hospitalised for four days and her dog savaged.

Usual suspect, usual breed.

Police are urgently hunting for the owner of the white bull-type breed who was filmed dragging the vicious animal off the panicked labradoodle. The unknown man cycled away from the scene afterwards, leaving the stunned pensioner injured on the ground.

Usual reaction from the owner of this sort of weapon dog. This won't be the first time it's attacked, either.

Inspector Leanne Chapman, from the force's Dangerous Dog Unit, said: 'The video makes shocking viewing, and you can see the sheer force that the victim is hit with.'

'We believe the dog involved may be a bull breed, and it's really important that we hear from anyone who knows the man in the images so that we can take steps to protect the public from harm in the future.'

With stunning deductive skills like that, this'll be wrapped up in no time, right> 

"Oooops, We Screwed Up..."

Jack Beecham, 72, from Prenton, had requested documents regarding an upcoming civil court case from police in June 2019 - but says he was instead mailed two pages about a criminal investigation.

Mr Beecham claimed he was also sent two pages about a misconduct allegation involving a Merseyside Police sergeant.

"...and we're going to make sure you pay for it." 

Mr Beecham said he attempted to phone the police solicitor's office about the papers, and also attempted to contact the subject of the criminal investigation and the police sergeant directly. But when he said he received no response, he forwarded the information to a number of other people, including former police officers and journalists.

He said: "That night, a big yellow van with 10 police officers came to my house to pick up four pieces of paper, which I gave them. They said I must also delete it from my devices, which I did. But then I said 'what do I do about the hundred-odd other people I sent them to?'"

Oh, they knew what to do about that. Charge you. 

He said police "didn't seem bothered at the time" when they picked up the papers. But in late 2021 he was charged with obtaining and disclosing personal data, leading to a lengthy court process spanning nearly two years.

Eventually, someone realised - probably because of the recent events - how this was going to look in the press.  

The pensioner walked free from Liverpool Crown Court on Monday, August 14, after the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) decided it was not in the public interest to pursue a case against him.

ICO prosecutor Anam Khan said: "In light of the knowledge that this is likely to be a lengthy trial, the prosecution takes on the view that it would be a disproportionate use of resources to continue with the case."

I humbly suggest that it wouldn't be a disproportionate use of resources to charge everyone involved in the decision to charge this man in the first place with wasting police time and misconduct in a public office... 

Today's 'YCMIU' Story...

A hotel boss has been asked to remove online footage of thieves who stripped their room nearly bare...

Because the police caught them? Yes, These people aren't the brightest so they tracked them down through the bank card they used. 

OK, so, why do the cops want the footage removed? Because it'll prejudice the case? Well, that's understandable. 

No. Reader, hold onto your hat:

...because police claim it is 'causing them distress'.

They obviously are planning to deny any charge, because police visited them and left without removing any items from their house.  

Dyfed-Powys Police visited Natalie this week to ask her to remove the CCTV from her social media because it was upsetting the alleged thieves.

'The officer's exact words were that it was causing them distress,' Natalie said. 'I don't want to be hard or spiteful but they should have thought of that before they took everything from the room.'

The answer to the useless cops is simple: 'You want the footage removed? OK. Charge them. If not, it stays up.' 

The Wit And Wisdom Of Martha Gill...

What to do about shoplifting? It’s a delicate subject.

Is it, Martha? Why?

Shoplifting is not quite like other crimes.

How does it differ, then?

Pilfering, purloining, filching, snaffling – it is by nature relatively trivial, the sort of thing children try their hands at without necessarily graduating to car heists and bank jobs.

I thank my stars I clearly didn't have your upbringing, then. Because theft is theft, whether we are talking about nicking baby powder from Boots or bullion from Brinks Mat. 

And it may be 'relatively trivial' in your mind, but not when done on an organised scale to the big supermarkets or the hard-pressed sole proprietor. It's not trivial when staff are threatened or assaulted. 

...most of all, shoplifting is a crime that seems to reflect social need: it rises when the economy dips.

Ah, of course. The fact that organised gangs are now behind it, or drug addicts stealing to sell for their next fix, is ignored; in Martha's feeble brain, it's always Jean Valjean stealing a loaf of bread... 

Not only does “cracking down” on shoplifters through the criminal justice system raise difficult moral problems, it doesn’t even work.

Since when has combating theft - or any crime - caused a 'difficult moral problem'..? Surely not cracking down causes that, as we can see in California, as David Thompson's readership is quick to point out?  

Technology has made breaking the law much harder. The use of deadlocks has decimated car theft...

And the use of keyless entry has increased it again. Technology is always a two-edged sword.  

Yet in many modern shops, we have the opposite phenomenon. Although some security measures have increased, with door alarms and beeping tags, in other ways theft has become easier. Once goods were kept behind counters, but since the birth of large supermarkets they have been laid out near the door, ready for the taking. Automated self check-out means the customer in effect monitors their own behaviour. Staff levels have dropped precipitously.

Yes, and women wearing short skirts increases rape, eh, Martha? 

I'll Believe It When I See It...

Met Police officers will be banned from supporting 'woke' causes while on duty, Britain's most senior policeman has warned.

Sir Mark Rowley says officers won't be allowed to take the knee, fly rainbow flags or wear badges that support environmental causes, The Telegraph reported.

However, the police commissioner said it is 'perfectly proper' for officers to wear remembrance poppies, Help for Heroes wristbands and the police memorial badge.

What took so long? Did Suella tell him his fortune, at last?

His view on the issue differs significantly from that of his predecessor, Dame Cressida Dick, who had said it was at each individual officer's discretion if they wanted to take a knee in support of Black Lives Matter.

We'll see if this claim actually means anything. I'm not hopeful. It's going to be a bigger clean up job than this one. 

Wow, Apps Are Getting Amazingly Sophisticated..!

A woman who was cleared of cruelty to one of her horses has said that the damage caused by a “trial by social media” is “irreversible” and that she received hand-delivered death threats because of the incident.

Twitter (I refuse to call it 'X') can now arrange for your menacing post to be hand-delivered...! Truly, we live in an age of wonders!

You know, if I'd avoided a jail term for kicking and punching one of my pets in a fit of temper, because a jury had returned one of those baffling verdicts that they can sometimes be prone to, I'd want to hide away and shun the limelight until everyone forgot. 

But of course, I'd never ever do what this woman did in the first place...

She said: “It is profoundly troubling that, in this digital age, misinformation can spread like wildfire, leading to premature judgments and jeopardising the lives and careers of innocent individuals.

“A snippet of video was taken out of context, and manipulated to paint a picture of me that is entirely at odds with who I am.”

No, it showed what it showed, and your real issue isn't that it showed that. It's that it showed quite the opposite. 

The jury didn't buy the offence, but that video - and the resulting impression people were given of you - is never, ever going away.  

But That's Exactly What He Is...

A trans woman has won a legal case after an employment tribunal has suggested that calling her a 'w***er' was discrimination because it is an insult commonly used in reference to men.

It's all he'll ever really be...no amount of surgery and legislation will ever change that.

The swear word is not 'gender-neutral' and so using it against someone who has transitioned would constitute a breach of equality laws, a panel surmised.

If it's not 'gender neutral' then it's being used correctly, in his case. These are the sorts of ridiculous knots you tie yourself in when you deny biological reality. 

The tribunal - heard in Croydon, south London - heard that Miss Fischer began working for London United Busways at their Hounslow bus yard in 2020 until her contract was terminated on January 15 2021. She said she was called a 'w***er' by another driver on January 13, 2021, and that the company was 'male-dominated'.

Well, certainly can't argue with that point, but not for the same reasons! 

However, the panel found that she wasn't discriminated against for being a trans woman after concluding the 'w***er' comment hadn't been made and dismissing her complaint about the near miss.

What a waste of time! And if I had a 'comment of the month' it would go to PJF at Tim's column for this:

Superb!

 

No Wonder Next Is Closing Stores...

Clearly, its employees can't count!

Wax On, Wax Off...

I don't give it long...

H/T: Ian J via email

Sunday Funnies...

I have to say, no 5 is just so typically French...

Welcome To Upside Down Land...

...no, not Australia! The 'Guardian', where antisocial nuisances are 'vulnerable people'.

And efforts to curb their effect on ordinary people going about their lives are to be fought against, not  welcomed.

These wide-ranging measures have so far been used to criminalise everyone from rough sleepers to buskers and cyclists. Southend-on-Sea, for example, has banned people from “using bikes in a way that has a negative effect for others”.

As someone who has almost been run down a few times by speeding bikes in Southend High St, and helped pick up an elderly lady who wasn't so lucky, can I say 'Well done, Southend Council, well done!' 

...the plan is unmistakably rooted in policies cooked up under New Labour. In the decade after 1997, the perceived scourge of antisocial behaviour was a staple of political discourse and regularly made headlines. Tony Blair’s government broadly defined antisocial behaviour as that which causes nuisance, harassment, annoyance, alarm or distress and introduced several measures to manage it.

So anti-social behaviour is only a 'perceived scourge' in the tiny mind of this stupid woman? It's not a real scourge, that blights the lives of those who have to live with it?

'Nuisance, harassment, alarm and distress' are just things people should learn to live with? Seems like a funny thing for an airhead more used to writing about dating apps or the importance of getting a good night's sleep to hang her hat on...

In attempting to “out-punitive” one another, Labour and the Conservatives are using law and order rhetoric as a convenient distraction from the actual problems people are facing. Instead of stamping out “greedflation” – which has seen corporations use the cost of living crisis to push up their profits – the government is seemingly more concerned with, for example, banning the use of nitrous oxide, or laughing gas.

That's the 'greedflation' that isn't actually happening? And the laughing gas that's proving a danger and a nuisance to cleaning crews?

Sounds like it's no laughing matter, Daisy.

Remember, Folks, The NHS Is Desperately Short Of Funds...

Swansea Bay University Health Board say their new Trans and Gender Diverse service will support transgender and gender diverse people with voice and communication skills.

A dedicated speech and language therapist (SLT) will teach them about voice care and explore different aspects of communication associated with gender.

Funny, I wonder how this sort of service is somehow immune from economic factors?  

Rebekah Gabbitas, the service’s speech and language therapist, said: “SLT services have always offered services to transgender and gender diverse people.

“Those referrals were previously few and far between but since the Welsh Gender Service was set up we have been receiving lots more.”

Well, of course you have, since the madness is spreading daily. 

“Gender affirming services support people who feel there is a physical incongruence between their physical appearance and their gender, but that can be in their speech and their voice too.

“It can be very distressing for somebody – even hearing their voice, because it doesn’t match who they are or their sense of self.”

Well, of course it doesn't. It never can, can it? No matter how much those in authority collude to try to make everyone else believe they are the ones in the wrong for not going along with the insanity... 

“It can also mean that other people will misread their gender causing embarrassment and distress. Unfortunately, gender diverse people regularly experience transphobia, which can manifest as harassment and violent attacks.

“You can see how that has very important impacts on their participation in society as it can result in a lack of confidence to speak.”

But they aren't 'misreading their gender', are they, Rebekah? They are correctly reading their sex, which is the real issue.  

H/T: Binky via Twitter

More Like Judge Cole, Please!

Ezeanyika asked the judge: “Could I not just be committed to the community?”

Judge Cole replied: “No. In one word, no. These matters will be dealt with by a hospital order or a lengthy determinate sentence.”

Nice to hear that attacking random strangers in public is taken seriously for once. Because it's so rare.

The Accent Is On The 'Mentalist' Bit...

They are relentless, aren't they?

Jon Fuller, a member of South East Essex Friends of the Earth, said the group “vigorously supports” clean air schemes across town and city centres. The zones are areas where a fee is charged for driving the most polluting vehicles.

Mr Fuller said a congestion charge style scheme would help tackle climate change and air pollution.

*sighs* Really? Well, no. As he himself admits! 

“Our preference is for a ULEZ in town and city centres in south Essex because we don’t want to divert traffic from arterial roads, such as the A13 and A127, to minor roads.

“If a congestion charge was implemented, it won’t make a difference because people will move to less major roads to avoid the cost.”

Make up your mind, man! 

“However, becoming a ULEZ will encourage people to get rid of their old cars, such as diesel motors, for a more environmentally-friendly model.

“In turn, this will help improve the air quality in south Essex.”

I know something else that would do that. Can you guess what it is? 

'Envy Of The World', Is It..?

Not when you can spend 13 weeks there and they can't agree what's wrong with you, no.

Kayleigh said: “He was there pretty much all day and had scans, then they told him there was nothing wrong and sent him home with painkillers.

“We got home and they told us we needed to go back for our discharge paperwork, so I went back and it said he had some fluid on the lungs on his CT scan.

“They told me they hadn’t read that part and to bring Ben back.”

Boy, that's a world class service, right there! 

The 37-year-old said: “On June 19 the nurse came over and started to put medication into his arm and when he said it hurt she said it was his antibiotic.

“But Ben wasn’t on antibiotics, half of it had gone in already but the nurse went away to go and check.

“It turned out he’d been given another person’s medication, luckily it wasn’t something he was allergic to, but that wasn’t even checked.

“When the nurse who gave him the wrong medication came back she said it had never happened and tried to say to him that on the pain medication he was getting confused, even though his mum witnessed it.”

Angels, they are, selfless angels ministering to the sick... 

Kayleigh claims no thorough investigation happened, and the nurse changed her story to say that she’d realised it was the wrong medication before giving it to him, and again to say she’d connected it but not pushed.

She said the nurse was instructed not to go near Ben, and was later removed from the ward.

Selflessly coping with staff shortages all the time... 

Alison Davis, chief medical officer for Medway NHS Foundation Trust, said: “We are sincerely sorry if Mr Wright and his family feel the care he has received during his stay at Medway Maritime Hospital falls below the high standards of care we expect.

“We are investigating the concerns raised by Mr Wright’s family, and we will be in touch with them in due course to discuss our findings.”

So after telling him for 13 weeks his illness is all in his head, your plan is to tell him he's imagining the disgraceful incompetence of your staff too? Great plan, Angie baby... 

I Think Someone Would Notice, Surely..?

I mean, you can't really slip them into a pocket and waltz out the door, can you?

The losses took place over several years with a £50,000 jewel – which was advertised on eBay for £40 – listed for sale as long ago as 2016.

Just look for 'buyer must collect' on any eBay ads.

The museum has not specified how many items have been stolen or detailed what the missing items are, saying only that they were “small pieces” including “gold jewellery and gems of semi-precious stones and glass dating from the 15th century BC to the 19th century AD”.

Yeah, 50ft marble friezes are safe.

Let's Play 'What's Been Redacted?' Again...

Oh, this is an easy one. It must be ''lengthy', right?

Oh...

The eight teenagers, some as young as just 14 at the time, attacked Tom Hilton, who was 17, after chasing him down "like a pack of gorillas" and setting upon him with machetes, an axe and a golf club.

Bit harsh - gorillas don't engage in tribal warfare. Chimps do, however... 

Danny Yakub, Kane Taylor, Davis Hargreaves, James Meagre, Jay Dean Slater, Connor Armstrong, a 16-year-old boy and 17-year-old boy - who cannot be named for legal reasons - were found guilty of violent disorder, and others also of witness intimidation.

After the group were arrested and charged, the 16-year-old obtained footage of police interviews featuring the victim and a member of the public. He then circulated it on Snapchat, with offensive comments and emojis in a bid to intimidate them. Those posts were shared by Yakub.

During the trial the group also showed 'disrespect to the court', laughing and joking at what was going on.

Once, that would have sealed their fate for certain. But no longer. 

Sentencing them all to community orders the judge said they group should be "thoroughly ashamed of yourselves", adding "but I am not at all convinced you are".

"I have to have at the forefront of my mind the fact that most of you were children when you committed these offences," Judge Philip Parry said."I hope for the sake of all your families, the public and the people who have offered you jobs and apprenticeships and the sort that you all grow up. Every one of you deserves to be sent to youth detention."

Then why didn't you? And why didn't you slap on extra time for the contempt of court?  

"These Are My Principles..."

In the emails, seen by The Telegraph, Ms Rodrigues said she was disappointed that Imperial College had published a study by the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering that showed Ulez cut nitrogen dioxide by less than three per cent and had achieved an insignificant impact on ozone and particulate matter.

Such research undermined the London Mayor's policy, argued Ms Rodrigues.

Prof Kelly is said to have agreed to co-write a statement with her that contradicted the research and positioned Ulez as having helped to 'dramatically reduce air pollution'.

"...if you don't like them, I have others." 

But we should totally trust scientists on everything else, right?

Advice Column Shenanigans Again...

I am a white Australian and my partner is Mexican. We live in Australia and have a four-year-old daughter. Lately she has been asking questions that I don’t know how to answer.

Like 'why is the sky blue'..? Or 'where do we go when we die'..? 

Initially childcare spoke with the kids about Capt Cook around Australia Day. Some of the things she came home repeating sounded very colonial, such as “Captain Cook first found Australia”. I tried to explain that, actually, Indigenous people were here before that and the British took the land from them. The conversation has moved on to her asking things like: “Mum, was Captain Cook bad?”; and “did Captain Cook learn to be better later?”

I feel ill-equipped to speak with such a young person about our colonial history and the racism and discrimination that exists, but I don’t want to avoid her questions.

Well, you palmed your child off on strangers in her formative years, and now you're going to have to do some parenting of your own. Is there any help and advice for you? Like maybe, there's nothing new under the sun and Cook is far from the only guilty party in the land-grabbing stakes, as Tim points out?

Are there any models or examples of how to do this in an age-appropriate way? I want my daughter to have a better understanding of our history and how racism affects the lives of others. I just don’t know what to say.

Send up the Bat (Shit Crazy) Signal! This is a job for Sisonke Msimang!

Did you know that Capt James Cook was stabbed to death in Hawaii? He was indeed....some might say that history tells us James Cook was a bad man (bad being a word that describes someone who goes back on his word, breaches trust and disrespects others within the logics of what is acceptable in the time in which he was living) who got his just deserts.

Oh! Well. That was...unexpected! A bit too much reality for a four year old, Sisonke? 

Your daughter probably isn’t ready for this story yet, but I remind you of these events, dear reader, because they speak to the fact that history holds the answers to many of the questions we ask today.

Yes, murder of the evil white man as a solution should wait until at least age seven, eh..?  

...ultimately, the sooner you start talking to your daughter about history and race, the better. The world is already sending her all kinds of messages about what skin colour and socioeconomic status mean. Your task is to step into the powerful and wonderful role you have as her parent by showing her that we can talk about hard histories without falling apart; that difficult issues can make us more thoughtful and big-hearted...

It really doesn't appear to have done that with you though... 

I know this can seem daunting, but take heart – four is a beautiful age. Four-year-olds are obsessed with moral rights and wrongs and with fair and unfair; and they are bursting with questions. I would ask you to follow her lead. Ask yourself the same questions she is asking you, and take the quest to understand them for yourself seriously.

It seems some people never advanced beyond that four year old stage. 

Why Is There No Mention Of What Action Was Taken...?

“This is because I lost my wife 18 months ago tragically. My phone call got put through to Liverpool and they didn’t know where Moses Gate Country Park was, and they asked me to Google it.

“I was 80 years of age then and I couldn’t do it because you are in a state of shock, you just want somebody to help you and they didn’t help at all, and she put the phone down on me."

Oh, there's plenty of stuff about action to put up signs and recommend apps, but nothing to say what action was taken against that call handler. 

Is that because there wasn't any?

There's A Reason The Nuremberg Trials Didn't Waste Time With Littering And Petty Theft...

Cmdr James Harman, the head of the Met’s anti-corruption and abuse command, said: “As soon as we were made aware of these allegations we acted to launch an investigation. I am pleased that following the determined work of officers we have been able to secure these charges.

“We are working relentlessly to rebuild the trust of the public, which has understandably been dented by a number of high-profile incidents and investigations in recent years which have involved officers or former officers.”

Maybe you should work a bit harder on those serving officers committing actual crimes today, rather than on people who swapped off colour jokes on a private chat group after they'd left your employ..?

It is alleged all six were in a WhatsApp group and the messages that led to the criminal charges were sent and received between August 2018 and September 2022, after their service in the Met had ended, the force said.

Utterly pathetic.  

Hey, Sadiq, Your Freudian Slip Is Showing...

The Mayor's spokesperson said: 'The photo caption was added by a staff member in error, and doesn't reflect the view of the Mayor or the Greater London Authority.'

Sure, sure, whatever you say...

Wait, What..?

Ummm, what the..?

Oh! Right.

Would've Been A Bit Hard To Arrest Him...

...if he'd jumped without one, non..?

Sunday Funnies...

It's best not to read these before ordering at the drive-in...

Was The First One Filmed On A Potato?

So, a hate crime in London. Good job it's covered by CCTV everywh...

The answer's 'No' Frankly, I doubt his own mother could from a picture like that. 

Got anything better? Something that shows this obviously Christian right-wing fundamentalist?

Oh. Well, that's awkward!

What The Hell Is Wrong With People Pt 257398745623

On the same day two XL Bullies in different parts of the country do what these brutes were bred for, another breed gets in on the act, (and it appears from Facebook they were a known issue in the neighbourhood) though this time, armed police actually do the job they are paid to do, finally:

Police have shot and killed two dogs after an elderly man was attacked while walking his own spaniel. The man, in his 70s, suffered serious injuries following the mauling in Bognor Regis this morning.

Sussex Police confirmed firearms officers shot dead two animals believed to be Rottweilers.

Who could possibly disagree with their actions?

Eye witness Candy Shepherd, 49, said she heard a series of loud bangs and thought there had been an explosion.

'At about 9.50am I heard pop, pop, pop, pop and I thought it was a gas explosion. I saw one of the Rottweilers on the grass and I thought he had been electrocuted.

'I could see foam coming from his mouth. I went over to see if I could help the dog and I've got two armed police running towards me with their guns telling me to get away.

'The old boy was walking his little Spaniel. They have gone for his dog and mauled him when he tried to get in-between them.

'The police told me he is seriously hurt. I asked the police why they had to kill the dog.'

They walk among us, and they have the vote... 

So Do I, Louise, So Do I....

Louise Hart believes education is key. 'Every year, 35,000 dogs under the age of three are put to sleep for behavioural issues,' she says. 'At Dogs Trust we want to improve that figure.'

Me too. But I want to see it go UP! So many dangerous unsocialised mutts in the hands of careless or actively unsocial owners.

These idiots, however, are firmly in the 'Awww, poor doggy!' crowd, of course...

'When a dog bites, it really is the last resort for them and a lot of our resources for people of all ages are about reading body language. Learning, for example, when dogs are showing fear, like having their ears back or their tail between their legs, and knowing there is potential danger around that.'

Yes, because when your child is savaged by some chav's pitbull-substitute, it's your fault - or theirs - for not reading the signs. 

Those sentiments are echoed by Debby Lucken, who has also founded Kids Around Dogs, an association of dog and childcare professionals set up to educate children in how to be more 'dog-savvy'.

'I feel that the owners themselves are not learning enough about dogs,' she says. 'Dogs speak to us all the time, but we need to learn their language in order to understand what makes them upset and, ultimately, scared.

'Almost all dog-related incidents are due to dogs being pushed to their limits.'

Really..? What pushed this one, overwork? The fact so many bad guys he'd caught escaped justice?  

Or, As We Natives Call It...

...'British summer time'.

'Raising Awareness', Eh..?

Southend Rape Crisis (SOSRC) is working with four secondary schools to raise awareness among young people around consent, being an active bystander, and the harms of pornography.

As part of the PSHE, curriculum, students in years 9 to 13 are encouraged to join the discussion about behaviours they may have witnessed or been a part of.

Is 'raising awareness' what they are really doing..? 

Shana Thomas, independent sexual violence accredited adviser, said: “One of the scenarios we discuss is a girl going home drunk from a nightclub with a boy. She has a boyfriend, and the next day says she has been raped. Often, the view of young people is that she has cheated and therefore regretted it and that is why she is saying she was raped. We talk about what she was wearing, and the rape myths associated with that.

“We have a discussion around the fact drunk people can be raped, people with partners can be raped and people in marriages can be raped. We don’t want young people to have this idea that because someone has a partner, they must be feeling regretful and are therefore calling it rape out of guilt.”

Even if it might actually be the case, Shana..? 

“Sometimes, we are shocked at what they say and are shocked that young people think like that. But even saying those things is part of the education.”

Or even 're-education', which might more adequately describe what you're attempting here... 

Maybe On The Next Attack...

Sankey told the court she had worked as a dog psychologist with a special knowledge of 'canine aggression' for over 35 years, but prosecutors said she had no formal qualifications, and should not be considered 'an expert'.

...and we know there's bound to be one, we should apply to have the magistrates put down as well?

Sankey, of Amesbury, Wilts, denied both offences and said her dog did not bite PC Obern or Ms Vincent.

There was CCTV footage of the attack on the cop. Why wasn't she done for perjury too? When is the justice system going to show some teeth for a change?

The Welfare Of The Child Isn't Even An Afterthought...

For us, the ideal parenting setup would consist of three or four of us sharing responsibility for a child (the others involved would also be responsible for providing the sperm). The way we see it, why not use the implicit obstacles we face as a same-sex couple to become parents in a way that works for us and redefines the family unit completely?

No thought here for what might be best for the child. I guess such monumental selfishness is only to be expected in people whose sexual identity seems to be the overwhelming driving force in their lives... 

There are a number of different matching services out there for those looking to find someone to raise a child with: PollenTree, CoParents, Just a Baby and others. We haven’t been impressed by the design of the websites or in some cases their charges, and some of them harbour some distinct creepiness.

Only some of them? How have such services sprung up, anyway?

Our first real contact with this world was last year at the Modern Family Show in London, an annual event for LGBTQ+ people looking to start families.

Aptly named, I fear.... David Thompson covers this too. Comments as always are illuminating.

🎶…’cause later, if you get too close, he’ll hurt you where it hurts the most…🎶

This is the terrifying moment a matador was gored in the rectum and tossed in the air like a ragdoll during a traditional bullfight in Spain last night.

Alejandro Conquero was reported to be in a 'serious' condition after sustaining horrific injuries during the event in Cenicientos, in the region of Madrid.

I'm not sure wht the 'Mail' describes it as 'shocking', I'd have thought it was an inevitable consequence of this... 

Normal For Norfolk..?

Former road police officers from Norfolk Constabulary have described their 'disbelief' at the 'appalling' scandal which saw a patrol car drive off without stopping after causing a 50mph crash.

Well, that officer is for the chop surely? 

He faced criminal charges but they were dropped after he said he was suffering from amnesia at the time of the crash on March 5 last year.

*blinks*

Although PC Warren has had his driving and firearms permits revoked, he remains on the force.

He's an armed officer!?  

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself... "

The former officer was also critical of PC Ryan Hargrave, who was a passenger in the police vehicle at the time, but who did not report the crash until the following day, meaning his colleague could not be breathalysed.

Oh, really...? That's fortunate, eh, Reader? 

The extraordinary case has prompted Norfolk's chief constable Paul Sandford to issue a statement, admitting the incident “reflects poorly on the constabulary” but insisted it had “taken what action we can in response to it”.

If so, Suella's really got her work cut out... 

Norfolk's police and crime commissioner, Giles Orpen-Smellie, said he saluted Mr Sanford's honesty and insisted the public can be reassured by his statements.

Are you, public? I'm not, but thankfully I don't live in Norfolk. 

H/T: Peter Wells via email

And They Call It 'Justice'...

The brother of a man who died after being assaulted in his own home has said he has been “excluded from justice” after magistrates barred him from court on the grounds that his presence would put the teenage attacker under “undue stress”.

Yes, you read that right! He beat an elderly man to death in his own home, but he's the 'vulnerable' one!

Members of the public are not normally allowed into youth courts, but magistrates can use their discretion to permit victims and their loved ones to attend. Quigley was distraught that the boy’s welfare had been placed above his own.

“It was to be part of my healing process, my closure,” he said. “But I was disregarded because the offender’s welfare was given priority, not mine. Who was thinking of me?”

No-one. Their concern was entirely for the monster 'child'... 

What was his pathetic sentence, anyway? 

The boy, a first-time offender, was given a 12-month youth referral order, to be served in the community, and fines totalling £146. 

*speechless* 

Move It Monday: August

Some artists become famous for that one song that's played everytime and everywhere, and so it is with 'Baker Street'. 

Which is a good song, don't get me wrong, but I have always preferred the much faster tempo of Gerry Rafferty's 'Royal Mile', and here it is in all its glory:

 

Will The Met Police Wriggle Out Of This One Too?

Two men who made lurid allegations of VIP sexual abuse to police during the disastrous Operation Midland investigation now face being prosecuted for perverting the course of justice, it emerged today.

Witness A and Witness B made a series of disturbing and damaging claims against senior public figures that were eventually debunked.

I do like that 'eventually'...it took a lot longer than a few days, which is all it should have taken... 

A decision not to launch a criminal investigation into their testimonies was made behind closed doors by the Met — the same force that entertained them as witnesses.

Letting people mark their own homework is never a good idea. 

'Acknowledging that in light of its previous involvement the Met would not be the most appropriate force to carry out this investigation, officers are in the process of agreeing terms of reference with an external force so that the matter can be taken forward.'

Let's hope that farce isn't Essex! 

Speaking in 2022, Witness A offered the Mail his own view on why no judicial action has or — he boasted — will ever be taken against him.

'The police know that if they came after me I have a whole load in my back pocket about what they have done,' he said.

'If they want to f*** me then I can really f*** them back.'

We'll see. I suspect your leeway has run out. I certainly hope so. Your anonymity will go too if you're charged, won't it? That's perhaps going to be the most illuminating thing of all. 

Blondes Have More Fun...

Police have launched an urgent hunt for a killer who stabbed her own mother to death after she escaped from a hospital at around 5:10pm yesterday.

Laura Van Marle, 43, was on escorted leave when she threatened hospital staff with a weapon before making her escape which has sparked a nationwide search. She is described as about 5ft 7in, slim, with blonde hair with members of the public urged to call police immediately if they see her.

A spokesperson for Avon and Somerset Police said: 'Laura was on foot and is known to walk long distances, so may have left the Wellington area.'

Is Swindon 'a long distance', perchance..? 

Two men were taken to hospital after they were stabbed in a garden. It happened at a home on Clanfield Road in Park North, Swindon, at about 16:45 BST on Saturday, police said. The two victims, one in his 30s and another in his 60s, were taken to hospital to be treated for stab wounds which are not thought to be life threatening.

Officers want to hear from anyone who may have witnessed a woman leaving the address on Saturday. She is described as white, with long blonde hair in her 30s with a slim build.

What's driving young blonde women to get stabby? 

It Does Explain A Lot, To Be Fair...

...but I think it was likely to be more often than 'a week'. 

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Top Tip: Try 'At The Same Time'...

...it's longer, but much easier to spell!

Sunday Funnies...

Whoops! 

Nothing New Under The Sun...

Suitably Mounted was launched in July in response to concern about the growing number of equestrians riding horses for which they are deemed to be too heavy.

Has Lizzo taken up pony-trekking or something? 

The group, which is made up of vets, scientists and welfare officers, as well as representatives from the British Horse Society, was formed after welfare officers found they were increasingly feeling it necessary to ask overweight riders to dismount during shows.

It hopes to encourage equestrian bodies and riding schools to provide equipment to allow both riders and horses to be weighed, as well as giving staff the confidence to challenge riders who they feel may be unsuitably mounted.

Who uses which set of scales, I wonder!? Still, if it's a cadre of suitably-qualified vets and horsey-types then who am I to poke fu.. 

Group chair, social scientist Dr Tamzin Furtado, from the University of Liverpool...

Oh. 

...said: 'We are finding that mis-matched riders and mounts is becoming an increasing problem.

'This is partly a weight issue, because as a society, we are getting heavier than we've ever been.

'But we are also finding an increasing number of adults riding children's ponies in an attempt to help get their children's mounts 'worked in' and calmer at shows before the children get on.'

I never saw that in a Thelwell cartoon! 

'We have found that a lot of equestrian organisations would welcome a rider size/weight welfare standard, but were unsure how to go about it.'

Really? That's strange. Because though I don't remember back as far as my childhood pony-trekking on Dartmoor, I do remember a horseback ride through Yosemite Park in the States about 15 years ago. And they wouldn't book without taking my weight and height. 

If the Yanks can do it, why can't we?  

'Nurse! He's At It Again!'

George Monbiot, our country's biggest joke in the journalism world, and boy, is that a tough field..!

The mocking on Twitter was as swift and merciless as those same predators bringing down a hapless buffalo:

Leading one to wonder what would happen if the lions did too good a job?

They Are Like Buses...

...they come along two at a time:

A “devoted" dad was tragically killed when a BMW driver who had taken a cocktail of drugs crashed into his van. Stefan Hayles, 30, had been on his way to work when John Butterworth’s car drifted across Folkestone Road in Dover, causing a head-on collision.

A 'cocktail' of drugs? Oh, yes, Reader, it seems to be rife in this part of the world: 

An inquest heard last week that Mr Butterworth, who also died in the crash, had more than 100 times the permitted level of methamphetamine in his system when he got behind the wheel.

And the rest? 

He was also 16 times the limit for THC – the major psychoactive component of cannabis – and he also had benzoylecgonine, the metabolite formed in the liver after using cocaine, in his system.

It's a wonder he could open the driver's side door, never mind start the engine... 

Oh, It Absolutely Did...

“His death did not reflect him as a person.”

 

Hmmm, really?

Taylor Perkins – who had high levels of methamphetamine in his system – was killed when his Audi TT collided with a bus in Manston as he was pursued by officers in a patrol car.

I guess pulling over wasn't an option? 

His devastated grandmother, Gaynor Perkins, says they want him to instead be remembered as someone who loved his family and was “incredibly loyal”.

To what..? To whom..? His dealer?

When You Have To Read The Comments To Get A Full Picture...

A predator who chased lone women and girls through the streets of Brighton before sexually assaulting them has been jailed.

Hurrah..? 

Hanok Zeray, 32, of Ringmer Road in Brighton, has been sentenced to 13 years in prison after pleading guilty to sexually assaulting six women last year. Police said the city's streets were "a safer place" now he was behind bars.

Yes, I'm sure 'hurrah' is the right response h...

Oh! 

Zeray was originally arrested on April 17 last year after a woman reported being raped in Old Steine the night before. He was released under investigation and continued his spree of terrorising lone women and girls but was eventually arrested and charged six months later in October.

Top job there, cops! 

Superintendent Adele Tucknott, Sussex Police’s lead for violence against women and girls, said: “The behaviour shown by Hanok Zeray will not be tolerated in Sussex – from the persistent harassment of women through to the sexual assaults for which he has been jailed.

“We have a range of measures to keep people safe at night and it is so important that any incidents are reported so we can take positive action.“

'Positive action' like letting him run around free to assault lots more, you mean? 

“In an emergency, always call 999. You can also download the Safe Space app, which has a list of designated safe spaces across Sussex where you can seek help. Download the app here Safe:Space Sussex - Safe Space Sussex Application.”

An app. FFS! 

But Ambush, I hear you cry, you're being too hard on the police, how could they consider him someone who should be denied bail? 

 Well, for that, you have to read the comments, and not just the article...

Funny, you'd think a true journalist would have mentioned this salient fact, wouldn't you?

A good point. Why are our professional informative class not making it in the body of the news article?

 

Anyone Tempted To Swallow This ‘New Tough Line’ From The Immigration Minister...

...should ask themselves one thing: why is he referring to them as ‘migrants’ and not what they really are?

“We shouldn’t need to be putting people up in four-star hotels,” said Jenrick, adding that the barge in Dorset had been used for oil and gas workers, and citing the use of similar vessels for Ukrainian refugees in Glasgow and Edinburgh.

“If it’s good enough for all those people, then it should be good enough for the migrants,” he said. “And we accept it is.”

They aren't 'migrants'; when they come ashore in small boats from a safe country having destroyed their IDs, they are illegal immigrants. 

And if someone in your position won't admit that, why should we pay any attention to what you claim? 

Eat Enough, And It Will...

...in fact, it'll get rid of everything!

Sounds like cyanide isn't the only toxic thing in that relationship!

In one TikTok video that has been viewed nearly three million times, a young woman claims that she has been 'secretly' feeding her boyfriend seeds containing the poisonous chemical – and that it has cleared up his acne.

Doctors pushing botox (a derivative of botulism) aren't really in a position to criticise, though, are they? 

'This trend could be highly dangerous. Long-term symptoms of cyanide poisoning include coma, high or low blood pressure, loss of consciousness, lung injury, seizures and even death.'

The real trend that's 'highly dangerous' would appear to be obvious... 

Darwin's going to be working overtime!

Is There Something Missing, Perchance, Nottinghamshire Police?

Nottinghamshire Police are appealing for information after a man reportedly attempted to rob a woman on her driveway in Arnold. The attempted robbery occurred at Heddington Gardens, Arnold, at around 7.30pm on Monday July 24.

The man demanded the woman's car keys and tried to grab her mobile phone but ran off empty handed after she screamed. Police say the woman wasn’t hurt but was left shaken after the incident.

Frightening! But luckily, there will be a good description of h...

Oh. 

Officers attended and searched the area but there was no trace of the suspect. He described as being about 5ft 7ins tall and aged 19-20. He was wearing a maroon tracksuit and white trainers and also had a rucksack.

Something missing there, that I can't quite put my finger on... 

You're Right, Judge...

...six years and eight months for this really is no sentence at all:

A passenger in the Audi told police that he and Dancs had been drinking and had taken cocaine as it was Dancs’ birthday that day, the court heard. Dancs, 28, who had minor injuries, was found to be almost two-and-a-half times the legal limit for alcohol and drugs. Two bottles of vodka, one of which was empty, and a small bag of cocaine were found in the Audi.

Judge Simon Medland KC said: “No sentence any court could ever impose should be considered as a measure of Olivia Riley’s life and its tragic, appalling, needless and avoidable end.”

Of course, it isn't even six years anyway, is it? 

Dancs will have to serve half his prison sentence and was disqualified from driving for five years and four months.

Yes, I'm sure he'll be a capable driver in five years time... 

Yes, It’s One Of Those Again…

One witness said the dog, after it had slipped its lead, ran towards two children before their grandad managed to lock them in his car.

He said: "The man who was walking the dog... tried to stop it and received massive injuries.

"He managed to get inside the gate to get away from the dog. The police attended and managed to seize the dog and close the road."

Why 'seize it'? Why not call armed officers to shoot the mutt then and there? 

Some Unanswered Questions Here, For Sure...

A police dog has been shot dead by armed officers after mauling its handler while on a search for a missing person, a force has said.

Lancashire Police said PD Jax, a Belgian Malinois, "became aggressive" and attacked a handler in a field off Higher Walton Road in Walton-le-Dale at about 05:15 BST.

It said the officer suffered a serious leg injury and remains in hospital. Supt Hassan Khan said the incident would be "reviewed in due course".

It's lucky for her that there were armed officers on scene, isn't it? But why were they there, in just a hunt for a missing person? 

A force representative said after PD Jax bit the handler, "further patrols, including armed officers, attended the scene with attempts made to restrain the dog".

So they weren't there? They were called to the scenc and actually used this time? 

"These are highly-trained, working dogs which do a skilled job, but like any dog, [they] can present a danger in certain circumstances. "

What are those 'certain circumstance', I wonder? 

H/T: Ian J via email

"Drop The Maltesers And Come Out With Your Hands Up..!"

"...this is a raid! We're the Sweeney, and we 'aven't 'ad our dinner!"

Who knew possession with intent to supply applied to chocolate as well as coke and heroin?

H/T: MisanthropeGirl via Twitter

I Don't Think She Was The Only One Who Was High...

...the 'Mail' writer seems to have partaken of something too!

Wait, What..?

Ummm...surely you know what a Beefeater looks like, 'Mail' photo editor? 

Even if only from the gin bottle...

H/T: Longrider via email

Sunday Funnies...

Memo to me: engage autopilot first!

Security..? More Like 'Insecurity'!

Another day, another tale of urban savagery. Expected urban savagery, at that...

Prosecutor Nicholas Corsellis, KC, earlier told the jury: 'The occasion was an 18th birthday party being held for a young lady. It was a large event with many people expected to be in attendance. Given the numbers, security measures had been put in place to minimise possible disturbance.'

Imagine needing that for a birthday party? 

'There were security personnel searching attendees upon entry, a guest list, and guests were issued with wristbands. Shea Gordon was on the guest list as was Dainnan Witter Cameron. The young lady knew Giovanni Addae-Johnson but had not invited him to the party.

'Neither Kavain Vaughans or Abdul Yaro had been invited as she did not know either of them.'

So much for 'security'...why were they allowed in, then? 

"Please Ignore Your Experience And Evidence Of Your Own Eyes..."

Greater Manchester police will not be sending letters to individuals banning them from attending Manchester’s Caribbean carnival this year after a legal challenge. GMP was accused of using “deeply racist” tactics last year after it issued a number of letters banning dozens of people from a Caribbean carnival event because they had been identified as “either a member of a street gang, affiliated to a street gang” or “perceived by others to be associated to a street gang”.

Apparantly, noticing the frequency with which members of a cultural group feature in certain crimes - and acting on it, as their victims are usually from the same cultural group - is 'deeply racist' now. 

On 24 May 2023, the organisation Kids of Colour, supported by Liberty, sent a letter to GMP and Manchester city council (MCC), raising concerns that the bans were discriminatory. They alleged that a disproportionate number of black people and other people of colour were targeted.

Well, it wouldn't make much sense to ban people from other cultural groups just to even up the numbers, would it? But hey, I guess we can't be allowed to draw any conclusions about what we see daily in front of us, can we?

YouTube and Twitch personality Kai Cenat is in police custody after a riot broke out in New York City's Union Square during an unlicensed scheduled giveaway of Playstation 5s. The NYPD arrested 65 people, 30 of whom were juveniles, during the Friday afternoon chaos in Manhattan.

Shocking photos and videos show thousands of people gathered, with some fighting and others throwing fire extinguishers at each other in downtown Manhattan.

And in case you're wondering, Reader, why I'm not linking to the 'Guardian's' story, for the symmetry, well, it's because it's unaccountably missing from their page... 

 Gosh! Memory holed so quickly these days...

Well, Kiddies, Keep Your Mouths Shut, Then!

A poisonous plant on an overgrown path close to a primary school has raised concerns about children's safety.

The head teacher of Bucklesham Primary School in Suffolk said pupils had to walk in the road to avoid the hemlock, which can be fatal if ingested.

Unless they walk to school with their mouths open like basking sharks, what 'danger' are they really in? 

A village parish councillor warned "children's lives are at stake" and called for the plant's urgent removal.

Good grief, is this village entirely chock-full of hysterical risk-averse ninnies? 

Suffolk County Council said Monday was the earliest it was able to clear the path because a road closure was needed.

Oh. That's a big 'Yes!' then... 

H/T: Hackney Dr of Maaate via Twitter

We'll See, Parole Board, We'll See...

A Parole Board spokesman told the Mirror: 'We can confirm the parole review has been referred to the Parole Board by the Secretary of State for Justice.

'Reviews are undertaken thoroughly and with extreme care. Protecting the public is our number one priority.'

Frankly, your track record isn't encouraging, is it? 

But hey, Reader, maybe after 30 years behind bars, she's no longer a danger?

Two years ago she lost her bid to relax her jail regime after she plotted to split another inmate's head open and throw her down a stair case.

Oh.

No, It's Just Limiting Their Ability To Stick Their Hand In My Pocket, Rhiannon...

Here we go again. You'd think she was the only female in the world to have given birth...

Essentially what we have here is the legislating of the female body, in plain sight, yet with none of the outrage and fury that we see over abortion rights. In forcing women to choose between abortion and poverty, the policy appears specifically designed to limit women’s reproductive choices.

No, not at all. Just the ability of these women to get other people to pay for those choices. You want kids? Go right ahead. But they are an expensive proposition. 

As Sian Norris, the author of Bodies Under Siege, tells me: “The two-child policy seeks to legislate over women’s bodies, treating women’s wombs as something that can and should be arbitrated on by the state. It ties into ideas of women’s wombs being public property, which in turn links to anti-abortion ideology – ironic considering the policy is pushing some women to terminate wanted pregnancies as they can’t afford to care for a third or fourth child.”

She added: “There is a specific class-based element to this that states that if you are on a low-income, then you are not entitled to make your own decisions about pregnancy, fertility and your family.”

You're perfectly entitled to make your own reproductive choices. That hasn't changed. But make them with your own money.