Tweet Of The Month

Another tie. First up, glorious snark from @SidneyPhlegm:

And then @johnb78 equals it:

Post Title Of The Month

Tim Newman again? Yes.

And I defy anyone not to hum the tune to 'Supercalifragalistic' when they read it:

Quote Of The Month

A three way tie! First up, LegIron skewers the Kavanaugh fiasco:

"I have known, online and in real life, people who were abused sexually. So many that I have wondered if I was the only butt-ugly child it didn’t happen to. A co-worker in Local Shop had to take time off to testify at a trial of his abuser. They all had one thing in common. An absolutely precise memory of what happened and when, and who was there. Some things you do not forget. There are things that happened in my life that I will never forget. None of them, fortunately, involved a trauma such as sexual assault but if it had happened I am sure I’d recall every detail."

Then DumbJon skewers Gina Miller:

"Deeper point: this is what multiculturalism and the open borders lobby have done to this country. If someone had immigrated to the US and become filthy rich they'd call it living the American Dream. Here, we have someone who came here and got rich, but she's still a victim so screw you all. She'll take all the benefits of citizenship, but as long as there's one guy in Sunderland who fails to worship the ground she walks on, forget about her giving anything back to this country. "

And then Longrider skewers the usual suspects at the 'Guardian':

"It’s not an injustice. It never was. We all make our own way in the world and if, by our efforts, we can make life a little better for those who follow, it’s no one else’s business. This is not an injustice and there is nothing wrong with it. Reasonable people can see this. The Guardian cannot because it is so warped and twisted with its politics of spite and envy. It’s nice to see them get a dose of reality for once. They are the ones out of step here."

Post Of The Month

Fahrenheit211 on blasphemy laws by the back door. And Labour treachery.

Sunday Funnies...

But surely a Death Metal Tower Of Skulls should brighten any city..?

The Only Way To Win, Is Not To Play The Game...

Harry Potter author JK Rowling has defended herself after being criticised...

Oh, what for now?

The Fantastic Beasts series has previously attracted criticism for its largely white cast...

So she's refused to include any non-white characters again?

Well....

...casting a Korean actor to play the character of Voldemort’s snake Nagini in the latest Fantastic Beasts film.

There! See? Are you not satisfied?

...while some are excited by Kim’s role in the film, others have raised concerns about a South Korean actor playing the role of Nagini. In the Harry Potter books, the snake is a submissive character that is the property of villain Voldemort, who drinks her milk for strength before he is restored fully to his body.

OK, I can see herpetologists might be incensed at the thought that snakes produce milk. Probably the daft old cow saw a reference to 'snake milking' on a documentary and didn't notice it referred to their venom, but who the hell else is whinging?

One critic wrote to Rowling on Twitter, saying “Listen Joanne, we get it, you didn’t include enough representation when you wrote the books. But suddenly making Nagini into a Korean woman is garbage.”

Rowling responded, writing that Nagini is a Naga, which are “snake-like mythical creatures of Indonesian mythology”, adding that “Indonesia comprises a few hundred ethnic groups, including “Javanese, Chinese and Betawi”.

 Now, now, you should know better than to try to reason with an angry mob. After all, you've done your fare share of leading one...

...many thought Rowling’s response was insufficient. One Twitter user shared translated screenshots of posts from Korean viewers, angry about the casting.

“An Asian woman who was on exhibit in a circus … Gets beheaded later and dies? She ate people as a snake in [Harry Potter]”, wrote one angry viewer.

Another objected to the way race was dealt with in the Harry Potter series. “You can’t be admitted to Hogwarts unless you’re English and we don’t know if there’s any wizarding schools in Asia, home of 4.4 billion people … [and] a homicidal white man traps an Asian woman inside a snake form and brainwashes her.”

Has anyone told her 'fans' that it's all just make believe?

Coming Over Here...

...doing the jobs our drunken vagrants won't do:

Buttner, whose mother had travelled from Poland to attend the hearing in person, was charged with outraging public decency, as well as possession of cannabis and criminal damage after spitting in a police cell and chucking food around the police yard.

The defendant, who required a Polish interpreter, had previously denied the charges but changed his pleas and was sentenced at court this week.

And people wonder why the high street is dying...

Ronald Buttner was given a conditional discharge following claims his actions were as much down to mental health conditions as the quantity of alcohol he had drunk and the cannabis found in his pockets.

Are you nuts? Here's a get out of jail free card!

Ania Grudzinska, mitigating, told the court he did not want to upset anyone and was just trying to get the attention of police.

I'm actually amazed he succeeded!

No Sexual Innuendo, Please, We're Snowflakes!

...it should come as no surprise that people have been justifiably outraged over a beer mat which was included in “Freshers’ Packs” for newly-enrolled students at the University of Sussex.

The front side showed a woman dribbling toothpaste while on the reverse were the words “spit” and “swallow”.

LOL!

Without going into detail it does not take a rocket scientist to work out what is implied. OK, it is an advertisement for toothpaste, but surely there is a more classy way of getting the message across that they want you to buy their particular brand?

Well, everyone's discussing it. Tell me, 'Argus' opinion editor, what's the point of PR again?

The company behind it, having been challenged over its implied message, has itself branded it as “inappropriate” and “misguided” which it most certainly is.

Of course they have. As they high-fived each other for getting their product in the local paper...

Objectifying women in this way has played a major role in advertising in the past but that has now, thankfully, been eradicated from most sectors of promoting a particular product.

In this case, however, a major misjudgment was made. It was not clever and it is not funny.

'Funny' is in the eye of the beholder, is it not?

Was Ever A Place So Misnamed As The North Staffordshire Justice Centre?

Dog owner Sharon Fletcher has been left devastated - after her beloved Japanese Akita was handed a death sentence by the courts.

The 36-year-old is planning to appeal against the court ruling after she was also hit with a five-year dog ban.

Well, serves her right, walking the streets with an unsecured dangerous dog and...

Wait, how did someone get attacked, anyway?

It comes after deaf Kye - which was tethered to a wall in the back garden of Sharon's Stanfield home at the time of the incident - scratched and bit a teenage girl who had gone onto their property.

Well, that's a somewhat different turn of events, isn't it?

Sharon admitted a charge of owning a dog which was dangerously out of control and caused an injury when she appeared at North Staffordshire Justice Centre.

Why? She was clearly badly informed. She should never have admitted it.

“If Kye had done this while I was out walking him then I would hold my hands up and take it but this is different. The dog was on a lead on my property.

“If he was dangerous I would not have him anywhere near my children, but he was great with them. Kye has never been vicious or attacked anyone before. I am going to appeal against this because it is not right to do this to an innocent dog.”

If you'd had the sense not to plead guilty, you wouldn't be here now! Was the neighbour a friend?

The court heard a BBQ had been held at a nearby property on the day of the incident.

Two teenagers went into Sharon's garden during the BBQ and one of them needed hospital treatment after being scratched to the face and bitten on the hand. The lead allowed Kye to walk around the patio within the back garden.

Doesn't seem so. So why are the bewigged idiots so determined to come down on the side of the trespassers?

When The Real Story Doesn't Make The Cut...

A father who armed himself with a baseball bat and assaulted a 13-year-old at a shopping centre has avoided jail.

What?!

Poppy, 35, of The Chase, Billericay admitted assault by beating, possession of an offensive weapon in public and intent to cause harassment alarm or distress.

It is understood Poppy stormed down to the shopping centre following an altercation between two teenagers.

Ah.

We aren't given details. But I suspect it wasn't just an argument over football cards or which of the 'Bash Street Kids' is the best...

Naturally, the other parents (mother, not father, note) is OUTRAGED! at the lack of justice for her spawn:

The victim’s mother said: “People are always going on about protecting children but I don’t feel enough has been done in this case.

“He has done this to my son and just walked away.

“I think it is awful.

“It has left a lasting impact on my son and he is very upset following the attack.

“He keeps checking around him to see if the man is coming back again.

“He doesn’t want to leave the house or go to socialise with his friends at all.

“He used to do kickboxing but now he doesn’t want to do it at all.

“I was not told about the court date and I feel as a mother I should have had the chance to look this man in the eye and say how dare you do this to my son.

“My poor baby has been disfigured by this man, he has been left with a scar on his mouth.

“He had to have an operation and have his mouth stitched up.

“This man has destroyed any dreams my son has about kickboxing, he was so good at it and could have got so far.”

Well, that's destroyed any street cred this little wannabe might have!

He was sentenced to four months for the assault, four months for the possession of the baseball bat and a month for the intent to cause harassment, alarm or distress.

However all sentences will run at the same time and all were suspended.

And that's just the icing on the cake!

Something To Bear In Mind When Councils Tell You How Hard Working They Are...

Some Basildon Council employees are to be given ten extra days of (sic) to work as volunteer police officers.

Hmmmm.....

The Employer Supported Policing Scheme sees the council allow their employees who volunteer as police officers to be released for up to ten days across the year from their paid day jobs to give back to their community.

So the council can afford to lose 10 days of 'work' so these people can go and 'work' for the useless Essex Police Farce instead?

Who on earth thinks this is a good idea?

The launch of the scheme was attended by the chief executive of Basildon Council Scott Logan, head of the special constabulary Superintendent Simon Anslow, district commander for Basildon Chief Inspector Sam Smith, Special Constable Gordon Humphries and members of the Special Constabulary.

Ah. The usual suspects.

What's The Point? Part 4829783

The owner of two Rhodesian Ridgeback dogs which must be on a lead and muzzled in public after they attacked a cat and dogs last year has been fined after they went for a small dog again.

How?

Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Because the owner simply ignored the ruling.

Kathy Andrews told another dog walker that she thought her dogs were ‘chasing a cat’ when her Rhodesian Ridgebacks attacked the smaller pet in March this year, Cheltenham Magistrates’ Court was told.

Both of her dogs were off-lead and not muzzled, in breach of an earlier court order.

So now they've been destroyed and she's in jail, right?

Following the recent incident in Eastington this year, Ms Andrews pleaded guilty in court to breaching the previous control orders and was fined £200, with £400 costs, and ordered to pay a £30 victim surcharge.

*sighs*

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

A total of 31 ewes were killed on Telscombe Tye between January and November last year. And about 50 lambs were also lost.

Now Lewes District Council is looking at bringing in new rules to protect the livestock from being scared, injured or killed by dogs.

Why do we need new rules?

A report for councillors says: “Loss of ewes and lambs can have a major financial and emotional effect on all concerned.

“The cost of replacing livestock is borne by the town council but ultimately from public funds (Ed: Hmmm). The sight of a dog attack, at the time of the incident and its aftermath, can be very distressing for the farmer and anyone using the Tye.”

The report says the underlying cause of sheep worrying is the failure to keep dogs on leads, which it says is a persistent problem on the Tye.

Hang on, the taxpayer's paying?

The consultation will ask key groups for their opinions, while an online survey will be available for the public.

Well, going by the comment thread, that'll be a revelation!

*gets popcorn*

Yep, Definitely Dim Enough For Essex Police!

Essex Police special constable James Parker is set to be hauled in front of a disciplinary panel next week...

For laziness? Taking bribes?

...over a sexually charged video clip and string of raunchy messages he is said to have sent to a colleague on Snapchat.

Oh.

The first allegation relates to him sending a picture of his exposed privates while in police uniform and on police premises.

/facepalm

He is then accused of sending messages saying he wanted a colleague to perform a sex act on him underneath a table during a police briefing and he wanted to have a romantic encounter with her in a cupboard at the police station.

Someone's watched too much 'Bodyguard'!

The messages are said to have been sent in October and November last year.

Ah. Or maybe not.

Has this case taken that long to progress, or did the object of James' affections take a while to decide if she was into this?

Just In Time For The TV Movie...

Lawyers acting on behalf of Jeremy Bamber, serving a whole life sentence for one of Britain’s most notorious multiple murders, have sent the Crown Prosecution Service a report by a senior forensics scientist which they claim undermines vital evidence heard at his trial.

And that's just the evidence Essex Police didn't mishandle or refuse to disclose!

Initially, the police and the coroner believed Caffell, a model known as Bambi who had recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia, had shot and killed her family and then turned the weapon on herself. The rifle used was found next to her body. It did not have a silencer attached. But a silencer was found in the gun cupboard in the house.

That would later form a key part of the case against Bamber, who was charged with the five murders and appeared for trial at Chelmsford crown court in October 1986.

And it was found by the relatives who, if Bamber were convicted of murder, stood to inherit the farm. How fortunate!

At the trial, it was accepted that there were only two possible killers: Bamber or Caffell.

Yes we've been here before.

The issue of the silencer was vital in persuading the jury, with the judge instructing them the silencer “could, on its own, lead them to believe that Bamber was guilty”.

 Except .... well, it's possible it wasn't as clear-cut as presented.

A week before Bamber’s trial started, the head of biology at Huntingdon Science Laboratories wrote a letter to Essex Police, seen by the Guardian, saying that the results of the blood tests would show that the blood “could have come from either Sheila Caffell or Robert Boutflour”. Boutflour, now dead, was a relative of Nevill and June Bamber and gave evidence for the prosecution. He was a regular visitor to White House farm and had used the guns kept there for shooting.

Despite the earlier statement, a forensic scientist who had examined the results for Huntingdon Science Laboratories told the jury that only Sheila Caffell’s blood was found in the silencer.

There's even the possibility that it wasn't the right silencer:

Bamber has claimed for many years that evidence was not disclosed to the defence by Essex police showing that two silencers had been examined by forensic scientists. In the new report, the senior forensic scientist and leading firearms expert concluded that separate silencers were being examined by the police at the same time in different departments, based on “serious discrepancies” in how the devices were described and the fact that there was no record of any item being transferred from one section to the other.

If you're thinking 'Hmmm, mishandling of vital evidence, lack of recordkeeping, all sounds a bit like the now-discredited case against Barry George', you're not wrong.

However, Bamber and those supporting him believe the issue of the silencers is a red herring – that Caffell killed the five family members, but no silencer was used.

And it's timed well, as there's going to be an ITV movie next year. Often, the key to finally resolving miscarriages of justice is to keep the case's profile high with new generations.

A spokesperson for the CPS said: “We have received correspondence relating to this case and requested additional material in order to respond to the points raised.”

An Essex Police spokesperson said: “Essex Police has no comment to make on these claims given that Jeremy Bamber’s conviction has been the subject of several appeals and reviews by the Criminal Cases Review Commission and there has never been anything to suggest that he was wrongly convicted.”

Well, there wouldn't be, would there? After all, you destroyed it, in defiance of three court orders...

Trust But Verify...

The saga of Dano The Less-Than-Wonder Dog concluded last week with, as expected, the coroner excoriating the police farces involved.

It certainly exposed them as failing to adhere to the sort of critical thinking they are trained in as part of police procedures.

Under cross examination by Matthew Donkin, for Mrs Collins, Mr Robson added: "If I was a trainer, and a dog had bitten someone to the face, I suspect the dog would be put to sleep immediately."

Cleveland would not have taken Dano "had we known his history," he added.

Mrs Welsh asked if he would have expected to be given Dano's previous record.

"I asked 'Is there anything I need to be concerned about?'.

"I would expect to be informed," he said.

Mrs Welsh asked him: "Would it have been prudent to see that paper work?. He replied: "It would, yes."

I must try that if I'm ever stopped and given a producer...

Oh, Waitrose, Never Change...!

Why 'add to pan' when you can 'nestle' instead..?

My Secret Identity Is Revealed!

And by McDonalds of all places!

Sunday Funnies...

Well, Hollywood recycles plots all the time, why not locations too?

"People, don't you understand, the child needs a helping hand, or he'll grow to be an angry young man some day?"

A tale of two deprived young black boys:

Today, David, 25, is a successful, eloquent civil servant. A private secretary in a government department, he holds a law degree and a masters in legal and political theory from University College London.

His friend Stephen Lansana, meanwhile, is serving life for murder at HMP Whitemoor, a Category A prison in Cambridgeshire. He will be in his 50s before he will be even considered for release.

As teenagers, they were no different, except in one very important respect — the opportunities afforded to them.

David, you see, was given a scholarship to Rugby. So, is that the answer?

This week, London Mayor Sadiq Khan announced plans for a Violence Reduction Unit. Violent crime, he said, should be treated as a public health problem — a 'disease infecting communities' — requiring action to tackle the root causes.

But what are those 'root causes'? Is it simply lack of money? What does David say he noticed most at Rugby?

"But most poignant to me was the presence of both parents actively taking an interest in the education of their children."

David is still involved with EYLA, mentoring youngsters.

'I'm not sure what the long-term solution is, but what I see in my community is lack of aspiration and a here-and-now mentality.

'Young people tend to make their decisions in view of the short-term, quick gain, easy routes,' he says.

Since we can't retrospectively travel back in time and somehow ensure two parents stay together to raise a child, what can Khan do?

It's way too late to tackle the Loxodonta africana in the room...

Irony, Thy Name Is ‘Guardian’…

Social media has given extremists a new tool with which to recruit and radicalise. It is something we are frighteningly unequipped to deal with. Worryingly, it is on Facebook, which most of us in Britain use, where people are being exposed to extremist material. Instead of small meetings in pubs or obscure websites in the darkest corners of the internet, our favourite social media site is increasingly where hate is cultivated.

Says who? Says Lucy Powell, Labour MP for Manchester Central and shadow secretary of state for education.

Online echo chambers are normalising and allowing extremist views to go viral unchallenged.

Shocking!

While in the real world, alternative views would be challenged by voices of decency in the classroom, staffroom, or around the dining-room table, there are no societal norms in the dark crevices of the online world.

This must not stand! How can anyone advance ideas and concepts that are allowed to stand unchallenged?

What are they afraid of? If their views are correct, they'll stand up to scrutiny and challenge, won't they?

There are many examples of groups that feature anti-Muslim or antisemitic content daily, in an environment which, because critics are removed from the groups, normalises these hateful views. If you see racist images, videos and articles in your feed but not the opposing argument, you might begin to think those views are acceptable and even correct.

Absolutely, Lucy! I look forward to commenting on your arti....

Oh.

No comments allowed..? But...but that's not the way forward, Lucy!

Is it?

But...But What About The Obesity Crisis!?

Teachers at Hockley Primary School in Chevening Gardens waited outside to give parents a Kit Kat with a note, providing comfort to parents on their children's first day.

I'm sure if Jamie Oliver had dreamed up this stunt, it would have been a carrot baton...

The note said:

"It's your little one's first day.

"And though your heart may ache.

"We're here to help them find their wings.

"So today you can take a break!"

 Ugh! That's more saccharine than the sweets!

Simon Harris, the author of the Southend News Network, felt the gifts were a perfect way to start the relationship between parents and teachers.

The world's gone mad!

Copperin' - Yr Doin' It Wrong!

PC Sarinda Welsh, who was attached to the Bexley Borough, was accused of conduct that breached the standards of professional behaviour relating to "authority, respect and courtesy."

She was also accused of "discreditable conduct" at the hearing held on Wednesday, August 29.

What sort of offences did this no doubt diversity hire commit?

On Wednesday, August 15, Welsh was sentenced to a 12 month community order after pleading guilty to two counts of assault and malicious communications.

Tut tut! Beating up arrestees?

Errr, no.

... other officers...

/facepalm

She committed the offences during an incident on Tuesday, January 9, while off-duty.

As well as the community order, Welsh has been advised to attend alcohol dependency meetings and ordered to pay a total of £385.

Got pissed and got handy when her colleagues turned up, eh?

When Your Story Unravels Before Your Eyes...

A dog owner is fighting to save her beloved pet after neighbours signed a petition and suggested it should be put down.

Oh? How many neighbours?

...residents appear to have rounded on the Aylesford homeowner with more than 200 people calling for action against the dog.

Oooh, that's a lot of them!

Jennifer, 68, said: “It’s the most awful thing but we have been persecuted since. It feels like everyone is against us.

“She’s never bitten before, ever. She was stressed and guarding the house."

Oh, a guard dog? And the neighbour bitten was trespassing in the house?

It is believed Lottie may have let herself out by pushing down on the handle of the front door but Jennifer, who moved from London to her Thomas Road home last year, feels claims the dog is dangerously out of control are untrue.

Right, right. Not actually in the premises guarding them at the time, then? Hmmm.

She added: “Whether the door wasn’t quite locked properly, I don’t know. The dog guards the house.

“She has got out and nipped my neighbour’s ankle. She is now muzzled and we are locking the doors."

You weren't locking them before? No wonder you needed a 'guard dog'!

Rebecca Dales, whose mother was the victim, said: "My mum is still not back in her own home. She is in fear of a further attack.

"The police have not given this investigation the priority it deserves."

They never do, love.

Fightback!

Clara Byrne, 21, who is the frontwoman in Brighton-based ska band Dakka Skanks, said she and her friend were attacked when trying to protect another woman from a group of black men.

But all is not quite as it seems. And the police aren't going to let this one go by:

But a Sussex Police spokeswoman said: “Police received a report at 5.30am on Saturday of an assault on two women in Marine Drive.

“Officers attended and found a man had been assaulted allegedly by a woman, reported by witnesses including door staff. The woman was not arrested as the victim did not want any further action.

The woman had no injuries, however if there were further offences or assault taken place, she is urged to contact police immediately so there can be an investigation.”

Heh! Maybe she'll find that not all publicity is good publicity after all...

I Think PC Baines Needs 'A Little Short Period Of Time' Away From The Police Force...

Coroner Mrs Welsh said: 'To be frank what I am struggling with is this third bite. You are his handler, you gave him the command, you pulled him away and he is still not doing what you wanted him to do.'

PC Baines replied: 'Given that it took less than 10 seconds for the whole thing, you need a little short period of time to bring them down from that type of drive.'

Then perhaps it's not a good idea to have them in collars they can back out from?

After the first attack, PC Baines managed to get the dog to release its grip, taking control of the animal with a single finger through a loop in the chain around its neck.

With the dog held, he managed to drag it six feet away from where the bloodied pensioner lay in the hallway.

But as PC Baines adjusted his grip to get a stronger hold, Dano backed out of his collar and launched a second attack, grabbing the elderly woman, who had cancer and emphysema, by the back of her right leg.

Jesus! How is this cretin a dog handler?

During his evidence today PC Baines suggested the dog may have attacked Mrs Collins because she had tried to 'shoo' him away when he entered her home, using her arms to wave him away.

So it's the victim's fault she was savaged in her own home by an animal you couldn't control?

He also suggested that the anxious voice of his colleague Sergeant Neil Yates as he tried to summon help might have further agitated the animal.

So it's your senior colleague's fault an innocent member of the public, who he was trying to prevent from bleeding to death, was savaged in her own home by an animal you couldn't control?

No, PC Baines. It's all your fault. You're a disgrace to the uniform.

Attention Seekers? In Brighton? The Hell You Say!

First time mother Rachel Holmes was sitting in Whitecliffs Cafe on Saltdean seafront with her 13-month-old son Lincoln when the large mongrel dog tied up nearby attempted to take a bite out of the bun.

The bite caused no serious damage to Lincoln but the family said the incident could have been a lot worse. They said they were “disappointed” when they were asked to leave after complaining.

And so they've taken to social media. As you do, these days.

Mrs Holmes said: “All we wanted was an apology but the chef’s disgusting attitude and the gormless owner made it 1,000 times worse.

“I was calling the police on 101 and the dog warden while they rolled their eyes at me.”

I can't say I really blame them. A bit over the top, isn't it?

She said: “It wasn’t the dog’s fault, he just shouldn’t have been around people if he has the tendency to bite things out of people’s hands.

“My son was putting food to his face, what if the dog had bitten his face? Other families who were in the restaurant left in disgust.”

At the dog? Or at the fuss you were making?

But maybe she has a point? Why would you expect to see a dog - other than a service animal - in a cafe, anyway?

The cafe in Marine Drive, Saltdean, which is dog friendly, has recently been taken over by new owners.

Ah.

Blind To The Truth

Why is it that this nation seems to care so little for its disabled, sick and elderly?

Really? Why does Ian Birrel think this?

When Iona woke almost five hours later, the carer gave her breakfast, bathed her and dressed her before the day could begin — just as she has done for almost five years working in our home. But this dedicated, supportive woman departs our team this weekend. She is going home to Poland.

Oh noes! What will you do then? Will you look after your daughter yourselves?

So we must resume the nightmare task of searching for replacements. Much of this burden falls on my exhausted wife, who fills any rota shortfalls for the long, waking nights alongside Iona before spending her days desperately seeking carers.

Oh, the poor darling! How terribly exhausting it must be to have to find hired help! Why, almost as exhausting as....errr, doing the work herself? For the fruit of your loins?

One friend told me of a superb care home in Plymouth where her aunt died in May, set in a beautiful former convent. It is profitable, highly rated —but faces closure due to staff shortages.

Oh, goodness me! Other people in Ian's social circle might be in the same boat! How terrible!

It is all very well saying Britons should do these jobs. But what if the right people are not applying to care for someone with complex needs or fail to turn up for interviews, as has happened with us.

You don't seem to understand, Ian. It's not the job of strangers to care for elderly or disabled relatives, whether they come from Latvia or Liverpool.

And it's not beholden on young people today to give up their dreams of law school or veterinary medicine or aerospace design so they can wipe the drool from your disabled daughter's chin so you and your wife won't have to.

Ism't it astonishing how the very people that tell us that the elderly and disabled are vital members of our diverse society who must be cherished are only doing so as long as they can hire someone else to do the hard work for them?

What's That 'Fundamental Principle' Again?

Anita Szporak applied to Herefordshire Council to transfer the premises licence of Mila in Belmont Road to herself from Hardi Mohammed.

The current licence allows the sale of alcohol Monday to Sunday 8am to midnight.

A Polish shop, run by a Muslim?

Herefordshire Council's Licensing Committee heard the licence was issued in September 2015 but in December 2016 it was revoked after 250,000 illegal cigarettes were seized from the premises.

Hmmm...

The police objected to the transfer application. Sgt Duncan Reynolds asked for the press and public to be excluded from the meeting as the objection referred to criminal matters affecting the applicant which did not result in a conviction.

Well, I don't think that's going to fly, do you, reader?

The committee agreed that the information would not be in the public interest and the press and public were excluded.

Oh. I guess it did. Clearly the licensing committee don't concern themselves overmuch with whether or not someone was actually guilty!

The licensing committee refused the application due to the information provided by the police. As a result the second application for Ms Szporak to become designated premises supervisor no longer applied as this can only be applied for by the licence holder.

How very unsavoury. And un-English.

H/T: Fahrenheit211 via Gab

Sterling Work From One Part Of The Criminal Justice System...

Jay Disley, of Coopersales, Laindon, admitted three counts of possession with intent to supply class A drugs after police officers caught him red-handed. The 20-year-old was in a Ford Transit van on May 4, earlier this year, with three other men, in an area of Basildon when police officers noticed known drug users interacting with them.

The officers proceeded to pull the van over and searched the vehicle as well as Disley.

Appearing for sentencing at Basildon Crown Court on Friday, it was heard that officers found in possession of almost 13 grams of cocaine, with a street value of £508, as well as 2 grams of crack cocaine.

Disley was arrested and while in custody, officers conducted a search of his home where they recovered a further 19 grams of cocaine, worth £773, as well as two sets of scales, £1,435 in cash and phones containing evidence of drug dealing.

Bang to rights! Excellent. What could go wrong?

Sentencing him, judge Samantha Leigh...

DAMN IT!

....said: "These are not insignificant amounts in terms of either money or drugs themselves.

"You don't have any previous convictions and have a very supportive family. You also have one of the best pre-sentence reports I have seen in a long time.

"It is your choice what happens now. If you do the orders I am about to you on and do what you need to do, you hopefully will not be back in the criminal justice system.

"I am very mindful of the guidance to judges and whether courts should take every opportunity they can to stop sending people to custody where there is a chance of rehabilitation."

You know what's coming. Don't you?

Judge Leigh sentenced Disley to 20 months in prison suspended for 24 months.

Those cops must wonder why they bothered.

I've Found It! Peak 'Guardian'!

 *boggle*

It’s always baffled me, the idea that somebody applying powder on the train has the potential to upset – I often have to clench my fists to avoid applauding the marvellous contouring work I see underground at 9am – and I still don’t quite believe it. Instead, I’m inclined to think there’s something darker at play...

 Well, of course you do. You only have a hammer, why wouldn't you see only nails?

This week, my favourite MP, Stella Creasy, persuaded the government to fund a review by the Law Commission into hate crimes – it’s the first time misogyny has been recognised as a form of hate requiring a legislative framework to address. And while the public transport issue she was talking about was harassment, such as taking photos up a person’s skirt, I feel there’s a thread between the two, a fine rope of disdain for women.

Newsflash, love: I don't want to see a man putting on makeup on the Tube either!

...on my way to a meeting in town last week, I bought a jambon beurre from Pret a Manger, the most elegant of its offerings I’d argue, and indeed have, many times. It was around 2pm I think, and waiting on the train platform I propped myself against a wall and prepared to unwrap it. I was feeling slightly light-headed at this point, my body being one of those that requires a relentless routine of watering and refuelling, and while it’s not my regular choice of lunch spot, I needed to eat. I had the sandwich about an inch from my mouth when I was filled suddenly with a chalky kind of doom. I’d remembered the Facebook group Women Who Eat on Tubes, full of creep shots of unsuspecting women with their own frantic lunches, and then gently returned it to my bag.

Oh! I get it now. You're mad.

*Taps Give-A-Fuck-Ometer* This Thing On..?

Courtney Motton, 23, from Southend, said she and her son, Arthur Collins, were at Electric Avenue on Southend seafront when the seatbelt reportedly came loose and the baby fell.

Miss Motton claims the belt was faulty but the firm claim it was not secured properly.

Hmmm, chavmum vs likely-to-be-pikey amusement park owners. Gotta confess, I'm conflicted!

She called Essex Police following the incident and officers attended but confirmed it was not a police matter.

They actually attended! Wow!

The spokesman said: “The police also inspected the ride for us and spoke to the mother.

“A man, believed to be the baby’s father, became aggressive and the police asked them to leave.

“We think she had not strapped the child into the ride correctly.”

Who believes he's the baby's father, the amusement park staff, or Courtney?

The mother-of-two said: “They were trying to pass the blame onto me.

“I have been going to this arcade for years as I live in the area but I won’t be going back again.

“It ruined the whole day as we had to spend too much time trying to sort it out.

“I also wanted to go home straight away after the incident.

“Police asked us to leave and I was being made to feel like a criminal when I hadn’t done anything wrong.”

Still conflicted!

02 Is The New 03

Does no one drive at the 'Mail'?

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Close, 'Mail', But No Cigar....

Eh...? *checks dictionary*

Doesn't seem quite right. Did you perhaps mean 'marauding'?

Sunday Funnies...

Next you'll tell me Indiana Jones didn't need to stop them opening the Ark Of The Covenant at all!

Well, Of Course You Do!

Personally, I think casting Ciri as a young woman of color is exciting, and doesn’t change anything about the substance of the character.

Really? You think arbitrarily changing the race of a main character just for the sake of 'diversity' is a god idea?

Who are y....

Oh.

io9 Weekend Editor. Videogame writer at other places. Queer nerd girl.

And there's plenty of eager 'Oooh, me too, me too!' in the comments. Including this gem:

Lack of self-awareness: total.

No, Judge, He Is 'The Wrong Crowd'...

James Pumfrey, 18, continued attempting to flee from officers even after two tyres on his car were punctured by a specialist police stinger.

Pumfrey was sentenced after he admitted dangerous driving and drug driving due to consumption of cannabis.

...

In the chase Pumfrey reached speeds of 80mph in residential streets.

Well, this should be an easy one. But then I remembered what our 'justice' system is like.

Yet deputy Judge Richard Griffith-Jones at Warwick Crown Court felt prison wouldn’t help. He said: “It is easy to imagine someone like you getting in with the wrong crowd.”

How could they be any more wrong...?

“It is important, if it can be avoided, that you are kept away from malign influences.”

Are you going to remove all mirrors from his house?

“If you had spent years in the courts, you would have seen families who have lost loved ones in road accidents you would have seen people who cannot walk because they have been injured in road accidents.

Don't worry, judge, he's fixing to spend years in the courts!

“Driving is one of the most potentially dangerous things people do. It must be obvious to you, though you won’t have seen what I have seen, that you can change or destroy people’s lives.

“And if you take drugs, you make your driving even more dangerous, because it obliterates any careful approach. You are lucky you haven’t killed or maimed someone.”

He's lucky...?

Joshua Purser, mitigating, said: “It was three things, fear, immaturity and inexperience, which are a potentially dangerous cocktail behind the wheel.

“He has a borderline diagnosis of Asperger’s, which had heightened those three factors, and which also resulted in him being easily led.”

*rolls eyes*

He was sentenced to six months suspended for a year, disqualified from driving for a year, given a curfew and a rehabilitation requirement.

What is the bloody point?

Is There A Split On The Cards...?

A homeless camp has been cleared after a court order was granted.

Tents and other items were taken from the illegal site off Cliff Gardens near Genting Casino by Southend Council.

Probably simply to move to another squalid encampment a few yards down the road, for the whole charade to begin again.

But there's encouraging signs that some, at least, are starting to realise the key to the issue:

Councillor Tony Cox, cabinet member for housing, said: “Our aim is to get people off the streets, into dedicated accommodation where relevant support services are on hand to tackle the complex personal circumstances that often contribute to an individual’s homelessness.

“We also recognise many of the town’s homeless are from outside the area and we first work hard to re-connect them to the communities they have left.

“This is an important area where we differ in approach from some volunteer groups, who work hard to raise funds and distribute tents to the town’s homeless.

“Encouraging homeless people to camp rather than use the dedicated homeless accommodation means that campers are not accessing the services that could turn their lives around and get them off the streets.”

It's a start. But target the biggest, not the little fish.

Does Not Compute...

The Brighton and Hove Albion defender, 30, was clocked breaking the 70mph speed limit in his Land Rover on December 29 last year.

After failing to appear in court at Crawley, magistrates discovered the Cameroon international does not hold a valid UK licence.

The player did not respond to letters from Sussex Police and he was due to attend court yesterday.

The case against him was found to be proved and a new date was set for him to return to court to be disqualified.

Yeah, I'm sure he'll do that...

Crawley Magistrates Court heard Bong already had enough penalty points to put him over the limit for losing his driving licence.

When his driving record was checked, the court heard he did not have a licence.

The Seagulls defender was convicted of two speeding offences in 2016.

So did he have a licence then, and it's since elapsed? And what action did the club take for his failure to show up?

Even The Weapons Are Diverse!

A spokesman from Essex Police said:"Officers are investigating after a man was stabbed in Northlands Park, Basildon, earlier today.

"We were called just after 3.35pm on September 4, following reports that a man had been stabbed with what was described as a samurai sword.

"The victim attended hospital, but did not require any further medical treatment.

"Our enquiries are ongoing and we believe this was a targeted attack."

A samurai sword! Bit exotic?

One witness took to Facebook to express his horror at what took place.

The man, who will remain anonymous, said: “A couple of fellas jumped out of a car, started arguing with two other blokes and a woman then they just pulled out machetes and started whacking each other.

“It was right in front of everyone’s kids and everything. It looked like a bit of banter at first then it just went manic.”

So....which was it?

Pity...

A man is being investigated on suspicion of animal cruelty after he repeatedly punched a police dog which was assisting in his arrest, Scotland Yard has said.

That seems a risky business.

The man was taken to hospital with a dog bite, but the injury is not life-threatening or life-changing, according to the force.

Heh! Shame.

The suspect has been released under investigation.

*rolls eyes*

Worse Than Useless....

Council dog wardens, that is:

Brighton and Hove City Council’s dog warden, who investigated the previous incident and is currently investigating the second, confirmed Mr Leech had been given advice after the first attack.

Utterly pointless. He doesn't have to abide by 'advice'. The police should be involved, but as usual, they've swerved it because they're too lazy to apply the new Dangerous Dog Act powers granted to them...

Mr Leech said the incident was “regrettable” and added: “This has blackened my name and we’ve come to an agreement over the costs of the vet’s bill.

“I’m going to pay half.

No, what's 'blackened your name' is that you are an arrogant thug with an uncontrollable animal. I hope the owner sues you in the courts to recover the full cost of her vet bills.

“I’m very sorry for what’s happened, now Enzo is muzzled, kept on a lead and is not going to that park.”

So you'll be going to another park then?

Mr Leech said he was bitten in the fracas by sausage dog Frankie and has taken time off work to recuperate after losing a nail.

Mr Leech said he was also bitten in the previous attack.

Clearly didn't interfere too much with your pie-to-mouth hand, did it?

Council Fretting...

The application for flats on the second floor was approved in December but had initially been submitted in June 2015 and refused three times.

Those plans were refused on multiple occasions due to concerns relating to living conditions within the flats, noise and the large number of building alterations that would be needed.

Well, yes. It's a second floor restaurant (and not a very good one, I've been there) so it's going to take quite a lot. And describing them as 'luxury' flats seems a bit cheeky.

So was the council right to be so worried?

However, despite concerns raised by the council, the application did not receive any objections from the public.

Guess that settles that!

Oh, Right, It's The Luck Of The Irish!

Hill also breached a conditional discharge for a previous offence, but Mr Irish did not punish him for this because he was “near the end” of it.

Wha..?

He has 12 previous convictions for 14 offences with a history of violence.

Andrew Foreman, defending, said Hill did not have any money to get home and had tried to get back into the flat to get some cash from his ex.

Mr Foreman said the incident “would not have happened had he not been completely intoxicated”.

Sure. Was he 'completely intoxicated' the other 14 times, too?

He said the damage to the door was “moderate” and “in the context of the struggle” with the police officer, Hill “did not know” he spat at her.

Hill is a painter and decorator but has been out of work for the past few months.

Hardly surprising!

He cares for his brother, who has Asperger’s, Mr Foreman said.

*rolls eyes*

Magistrate Matthew Irish sentenced Hill to a 12-month community order, meaning he must carry out 60 hours of unpaid work, reduced from 90 because of his guilty plea.

*sighs*

Another Open And Shut Case?

A police spokesman said: "Officers are investigating the incident for the potential offence of a dog being dangerously out of control."

Will it take a lot of investigating? Reader, it will not...

Theresa Anderson was walking up the stairs to her son’s flat at a house in Ramsden Street last Wednesday when a dog appeared and came “racing” down the steps towards her.

The dog grabbed hold of Mrs Anderson’s leg and dragged her outside.

The animal, believed to be a Staffie-cross, then managed to get hold of her again and bit through her leg to the bone.

Difficult for the police to fumble the ball on this one, you'd think.

It is understood the dog’s owner has had the animal put down.

Is it really? Will the police buy it, and say 'Well, no point in taking him to court'..?

Place your bets!

Never Forget...

17 years. 17!

The Problem Is Parenting, Not Gaming

Errr, hang on! Surely 'Fortnite' hasn't been out for two years, has it?

Didn't think so! But obviously a popular 'hook' was needed for the story. Such is modern journalism...

Britta Hodge, from Sydney, said her teenage son Logan was once an adventurous boy who enjoyed playing sports, going to the movies and beach, and hanging out with his friends.

But his debilitating addiction to video games, including Fortnite, has become so severe, he hasn't attended school for two years - and he only comes out of his bedroom when he needs to eat or use the bathroom.

Surely you just take the wifi away and say, "Oh well, bad luck, you haven't got the internet!"

'It's not as simple as taking the cord away and going, "Oh well, bad luck, you haven't got the internet",' she explained.

Hmmm, really? It would have been if I'd tried this as a teenager!

'Because the repercussions from that – angry, aggressive – we've had to call the police... I have been head-butted, I've had concussions.'

As the mother shared her harrowing story, reporter Tara Brown said: 'It sounds like you're frightened of him,' to which she nodded her head up and down.

Why isn't he behind bars?

Experts have warned how the popularity of Fortnite has turned into a concerning obsession, with many psychologists finding their patients who are 'obsessed' with the game even becoming violent when their parents intervene.

Then lock them up. Violence is violence. The cause shouldn't matter.

H&S Is Why You Can't Have Nice Things...

The sculpture which shows the face of a mystical bearded man was created next to a footpath on the corner of The Knares and Staneway, in Basildon, in a small tree stump.

It appeared on Christmas morning last year and was welcomed by local residents and councillors.

 An unsanctioned artwork? That cannot stand!

However, the tree has now been cut down after it was deemed to be "unsafe" by the council.

 "Everything inside the council, nothing outside the council..."

He told the Echo: "A local piece of art has been cut down by council contractors as it was deemed as being unsafe.

"The tree Stump in Lee Chapel South had become something of a landmark when a Banksy-style carving was styled into it with a chainsaw a year ago.

"It has had two makeovers since by the unknown artist.

"Myself and other residents are really upset about what has happened.

"The tree stump posed no threat and was very popular with local residents."

 But the council didn't put it there! So it's not allowed!

"It's a shame to see it has been removed.

"I am trying to find out who decided it should come down."

I bet you never do.

It's The Slanty Eyes...

...it means they all look the same to 'Mail' editors!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Yes, I'd Be Worried About Them Too....

...oozing all over the place like...

Wait, what?

Sunday Funnies...

The stakes are high...

First Growing Objective – A Magic Money Tree…

The Moulsecoomb Bangladeshi Women’s Group visited The Coriander Club, a gardening and cookery club for older generation Bengali women at Spitalfields City Farm near Shoreditch to learn how to set their own allotment up.

The women travelled to the garden with Hove-based community development charity Trust for Developing Communities (TDC), which secured the funding from East Brighton Trust.

Follow the money. This is the 'redistribution' system in action, taking taxes from Rastafarian plumbers and Sikh IT technicians to spend it on Bangladeshi housewives.

They met The Coriander Club’s founder Lutfun Hussain, who set it up in 2000 to help tackle her homesickness, to learn about how the project operates and how it benefits the local Bangladeshi community.

Only the local Bangladeshi community? This isn't helping inclusion, is it?

Mishruna Kibria, who was born and lives in Brighton and is the co-ordinator of the Moulsecoomb Bangladeshi Women’s Group, said: “I just loved the whole atmosphere of the garden.

“In Brighton, there isn’t anywhere for Bengali women to come together outdoors and do something active together.”

But aren't you British? Rather than Bengali?

Ratna Jan Bibi, TDC community development worker for black and minority ethnic wellbeing, said: “There is a lack of services for ethnic minority residents of Brighton and Hove and a garden would provide a safe space for them to grow vegetables from all over the world and learn from each other.

“After the summer break I am sure we will have more conversations and with funding, anything is possible.”

Of course it is. That Magic Money Tree always seems to grow so well, no matter who tends it.

Exactly The Breed You'd Imagined...

...scruffy, aggressive, dumb, inbred.

And the dog wasn't much better.

The owners of a pitbull-type dog which horrifically mauled and scalped a toddler in a play park are facing up to five years behind bars.

Yeah, it's this case. The best part of a year to resolve an open and shut case.

Eldridge, 29, and Thornton, 27, both from Chatham, were due to stand trial accused of being the owners of a dog which caused injury while dangerously out of control in a public place, but they pleaded guilty before a jury was sworn in.

At an earlier hearing at the same court, mother-of-three Eldridge also admitted perjury in relation to her lying during family court proceedings that she was not being prosecuted for the dangerous dog offence.

Fine, upstanding citizens....

Judge David Griffith-Jones QC adjourned sentencing for probation reports but warned they faced immediate custody.

Why on earth should you need yet more reports? Both are hardly strangers to the court, after all:

The court heard Eldridge, who cried during the proceedings, had been the victim of domestic violence.

Nicholas Jones, defending, said she suffered from depression and had had to move home after the attack.

She has previous convictions for shoplifting and was currently subject to a community order for dangerous driving.

Are they working their way through the list of possible offences? Is this 'Criminal Justice System Bingo'..?

John Fitzgerald, defending Thornton, told the court he had a lengthy record, mostly offences of dishonesty related to his cannabis addiction.

He is currently subject to supervision by the probation service, having been released from prison on June 14 this year.

Yup, that seems to be a full house!

He released them on bail with the condition they be subject to a tagged curfew until September 24.

Which I'm sure they'll obey. Like they do everything else.

*Rummages For Tiny Violin*

The Oxford Bangladeshi Islamic Centre and Mosque had been due to mark the religious holiday Eid al-Adha in Leys Pool and Leisure Centre's main sports hall yesterday, but instead had to squeeze 300 people into three sessions at its Cowley Road building.

It came after frustrated organisers spent more than a week trying to sort out booking problems with the Blackbird Leys leisure centre, which is owned by the city council and managed by Fusion Lifestyle, only to be told a full event management plan including 'anti-terrorism measures' was required at the eleventh hour.

Welcome to England, where overwhelming paperwork must be completed in triplicate before the council will let you do what you need to do.

What's that?

'But you're Muslims', you say..? Well, so what?

The operations manager added if the information, including a safeguarding policy, stewarding/security plan, medical plan, waste management plan and anti-terrorism measures, as well as public liability insurance confirmation and employers liability insurance confirmation, was not provided by 2pm the following day the event could not go ahead.

Mr Hoque said he was 'shocked' as the mosque had never been asked to provide this level of detail before, and it had not been mentioned when he had made the booking initially.

Times change, Mt Hoque. We need all that now. I wonder if you know why?

The Blackbird Leys resident added the mosque had been holding events at the centre for years, with the last Eid booking in 2016, but their treatment by leisure centre had left them feeling 'unwanted'.

Gosh! How to sum up my concern with your feelings?

That'll do it!

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is, VirtueSignallers...

Groups of homeless people, who reportedly do not speak English, are pitching up in North Road Cemetery, Westcliff.

It has been an on going issue and now residents are calling on the council to deal with the problem.

That's like calling on King Canute to come and solve your flood problem....

The Echo contacted Harp homeless charity for a comment.

Gosh, it's almost as if these beggars know there's an organisation dedicated to helping them stay in the Southend area, isn't it?

A Southend Council spokesman, said: “We are aware of ongoing issues at North Road burial ground, including rough sleeping and incidents of anti-social behaviour. We have been attempting to take a balanced approach to what is a difficult and complex situation.”

Well, there's your problem, then. There's no need for 'balance' and it isn't 'complex'.

“Along with serving a notice to quit to a group earlier this summer with the support of the police, various council staff members have also been attempting to engage with the rough sleepers and connect them to the many support services available locally.

Further outreach work continues to be carried out to try and connect those rough sleeping with services.

“We will continue to monitor the situation. We are also aware of littering and fly-tipping at this site and this is being dealt with by the relevant teams.”

Naturally, this brings out the bleeding hearts:

Heh!

The Best You Can Hope For Is It's A Typo...

A man in his thirties suffered serious injuries in the attack, which took place in Walmgate on Wednesday, April 18.

A pool of blood and the man's belongings were visible at the scene behind a police cordon for much of the following day, and three people were eventually arrested in connection with the attack.

April. It's now September.

North Yorkshire Police said a 30-year-old from Sheffield was arrested on suspicion of wounding with intent, being concerned in the supply of Class A drugs, and possession of criminal property, and a 22-year-old man from Huddersfield, was arrested on suspicion of wounding with intent and supplying Class A drugs.

A third man, also 22 and from Huddersfield, was arrested in connection with the same incident, and charged with possession of Class B drugs.

Open and shut case?

On Friday, a police spokeswoman confirmed all three men who were arrested in connection with the incident "have been released pending no further action".

Ummm...

The Devil Is In The Detail...

...the detail of the comment section, that is:

A doctor was attacked by a patient and has refused to return to a surgery deemed unsafe, it was revealed today.

And a child with asthma had to be sent to hospital because the surgery had no nurse on duty.

The problems were highlighted as health chiefs backed a decision to close a branch surgery because the family doctors running it said that it was the safest option for staff and patients.

You'd expect this surgery to be in Moss Side, not Brighton!

Tory city councillor for Rottingdean Joe Miller said: “I’m very disappointed for residents. I think the CCG has made the wrong decision for patients who they are meant to represent and serve.”

The £16,475 annual rent will be reinvested in the primary care budget.

Wait, how much rent?

Mike Holdgate, a lay member of the Primary Care Commissioning Committee, said that there were a great many benefits to closing the practice even though it may not seem so on the surface.

What could he mean by th...

Ah!

How very interesting...

He Used To Be A Werewolf...

...but he's all right naaa-ooooowwwwwwwww!

A remand prisoner due to be sentenced for assaults arrived at court barking and growling like a dog.

Sheridan Clarke denied taking a psycho-active substance at HMP Bristol.

But while in a holding cell at Bristol Crown Court he exhibited strange behaviour, hit his head against a wall and knocked himself out.

Paramedics called to the scene declared him unfit to appear in court and he was taken to Bristol Royal Infirmary for checks.

Naturally, the idea that he'd taken drugs was beyond the pale!

Miss McAnaw said her client had denied taking anything and was upset by the suggestion.

Paramedics said it was too difficult to tell whether Clarke had taken any substances.

Miss McAnaw raised the possibility her client had been the victim of a spiking.

Yes. Yes, I'm sure that's what happened.

Snowflakes - Too Lazy To Do Their Own Heavy Lifting...

The poster was seen in a bathroom at Beckenham Beacon health centre on Monday (August 13).

It read: “Did you know that there are men, who have assaulted and raped women, housed in UK women’s prisons because they claim to be women?

“Did you know that groups are going into schools and telling kids they can ‘choose’ whether to be a boy or a girl, that these groups receive Children in Need and National Lottery funding?

“Did you know that proposed changes to the Gender Recognition Act will mean that a man is allowed into women’s spaces (changing rooms, sports teams, swimming lessons) just by declaring herself to be a woman?”

And is any of that inaccurate? If the answer's 'No', what's the problem?

Yes, it's illegal flyposting. But it's up to the medical centre staff to remove it if they disagree.

However, step forward, virtue signaller extraordinare!

Harrison James spoke to News Shopper about his reaction when his girlfriend Amy, 25, showed him a photo of the poster she had seen at the medical centre.

He said: “I thought it was just disgusting that we live in a world where people would vandalise medical facilities with such outdated transphobic views.

“It really has no place in our society.”

*yawns* Oh, have you finished?

He said his girlfriend was unable to remove the poster because it was a plastered on with a sticker.

However, the pair are going back to the Beacon today with "warm water and soap" to remove it.

Harrison shared the poster on Facebook and encouraged people to “tear these signs down” after others were reportedly spotted in Beckenham.

What's wrong with you and your girlfriend trudging round Beckenham with soap and water, Harrison? 

Me Too, Animal Rights Nutters...

Protesters have been demonstrating outside the circus since it arrived on Hove Lawns on August 16.

They disagree with its use of budgies and horses.

Well, yes. It's a circus, it should be lions and elephants!

One campaigner who witnessed the arrest on Wednesday said: “One of Zippo’s acts is a budgie pushing another budgie in a car.

“I fail to understand how that can be classed as entertainment.”

Never a truer word...

"When it gets dark I tow your heart away..."

Haringey Council is cracking down on staff who are allegedly misusing parking permits to leave their cars in residential streets.

Haringey, eh? The place must be twinned with Mos Eisley Spaceport...

Further measures could include tougher penalties for employees caught parking in the wrong place following a councillor’s meeting with a residents’ association.

Like sacking?

Cranbrook Park Residents Association (CPRA) wrote to the council in May claiming it was becoming “impossible” for locals to park in four streets in Wood Green because its employees were leaving their cars there all day – and often well into the evening.

The CPRA said most of the offending vehicles displayed the council’s essential service permit (ESP), which allows employees providing services such as healthcare and counselling to park in a CPZ.

Yes, it's meant to be when they are on call, though.

These are only issued to people who provide essential services to residents and are required to work extended, unsociable hours or are on 24-hour call out.

In a letter to the council, the residents’ association said the permits were instead being used “for the daily commute” and their streets were becoming a “council car park”.

The expected makeup of Haringey council staff demographics will have no bearing of this, I'm sure...

CPRA chair Francesca Zeeman said a councillor told attendees of their last meeting on July 28 that the local authority was considering tougher enforcement measures so people misusing ESPs would be subject to the same fines as other people caught parking in the wrong place.

Gosh! Treated like the plebs whose taxes pay your wages! The horror!