Tweet Of The Month

Ouch!

Post Title Of The Month

LegIron on Ghislaine's travails:

 

Yeah, I know, technically it's not January, but since I didn't read it until the next day, I'm claiming it, it's just too good!

Quote Of The Month

LegIron on the potential future: 

"“[People] want to go back to the way things were, but I know the truth. There’s no going back. You’ve changed things. Forever.” 

The Joker’s speech might one day be hailed as prophecy. For more than just that one line. 

People are, indeed, claiming they want to get back to the ‘old normal’ but that’s not possible now. Truth is, a lot of people didn’t actually like the old normal. Their lives were empty of meaning, the drudge of the daily grind was getting them down. And I can understand that even though I didn’t really experience it."

Post Of The Month

 Squander Two finds Prince Andrew's defence...unconvincing!

And Yet, You Keep Using It...

...and the courts keep accepting it:

Mitigating, Simon Lacey, said: "There have been long-term issues with the neighbour.

"Unfortunately, she has issues with drinking.

"The alcohol had taken over.

"If she was sober she would not have said those things. She knows it's no excuse at all."

But you clearly do. Because it works, doesn't it? 

Chairman of the bench, Stephen Corben, said: "We have listened carefully to Mr Oakley and have heard the stress and harm you have caused to [the victim]." He sentenced Stewart to a 12-month community order.

Stewart must complete an alcohol treatment programme for a period of six months, including 10 Rehabilitation Activity Requirement days. She must also pay a £120 fine, as well as £45 in prosecution costs and a £95 victim surcharge. 

That'll work about as well as the last time she was up before you, I expect...

Professional Headline Writers: All The Right Words...

...just not necessarily in the right order!

Professional Signwriters: All The Right Letters…

...just not necessarily in the right order!

Sunday Funnies...

Newsflash: they are all scams!

Gaslighting On A Grand Scale...

Imagine the convolutions the headline writer must have had to go through...

...to write this headline. 

Although, seeing it's the 'Daily Mail', maybe not!

'It's definitely awkward because Lia still has male body parts and is still attracted to women,' one swimmer on the team told DailyMail.com in an exclusive interview.

Naturally, it was an anonymous interview, because the heresy she speaks would draw an immediate act of retribution from the wokeists... 

'Multiple swimmers have raised it, multiple different times,' the UPenn swimmer said. 'But we were basically told that we could not ostracize Lia by not having her in the locker room and that there's nothing we can do about it, that we basically have to roll over and accept it, or we cannot use our own locker room.'

Think back, anonymous swimmers, to what your great grandmothers would have said to that! Do you think their generation would have meekly rolled over and accepted being made a second class citizen? 

'It's really upsetting because Lia doesn't seem to care how it makes anyone else feel,' the swimmer continued. 'The 35 of us are just supposed to accept being uncomfortable in our own space and locker room for, like, the feelings of one.'

Well, of course he doesn't! Surely you must realise what we mostly all know - that forcing others to participate in this utter farce is the main motivation for him? 

'It just seems like the women who built this program and the people who were here before Lia don't matter. And it's frustrating because Lia doesn't really seem to be bothered by all the attention, not at all. Actually she seems like she enjoys it. It's affected all of us way more than it's affected her.'

You could start by refusing to indulge the pointless fiction that this person deserves female pronouns. Or maybe you did, and the 'journalist' reversed this. but I'm betting that's not the case. 

You're in a war, sister, and you don't even realise it! 

The school released a terse statement last month that it was offering mental health services to student-athletes.

See? According to the wokesters, you - and your fellow female swimmers - are the ones who are mentally ill. And if you don't start fighting back against this insanity, you're dishonouring all those women who came before you and said 'No! We aren't second class citizens, we want our rights, and we'll fight for them!'. 

'Mum Of The Year' Award Is Looking Good For 2022...

 

Theresa Carroll, 39, has been given a restraining daughter (sic) against her 19-year-old daughter, Chantelle, after she grabbed her by the hair and punched her in the face.

The pair got into an argument after the teenager objected to her mum inviting friends to their Bollington home to watch the Anthony Joshua fight on TV last December.

'Chantelle', eh? Far be it for me to say this was brewing since christening, but... 

Defence lawyer Peter Casson told judges: "'She would just like the relationship with her daughter to resume. '

'She wants to have her home for Christmas. She has presents to give her from last Christmas, her birthday and for this Christmas.

"But unfortunately it seems this is not going to happen. She is still the mother to that young girl. She still cares about her daughter.''

I think if my daughter decided to tell me who I could have in my house, I'd wash my hands of her. Probably wouldn't get into a catfight, though! 

Carroll was also ordered to complete a twelve month community order and must complete 120 hours unpaid work, as well as 20 rehabilitation activity requirement days.

She will also have to pay £180 in costs and surcharges.

There's that 'rehabilitation activity' again! Someone's making a fortune off drunken chavs, aren't they? 

JP Dominic Stone told her: “You were provoked and we do not believe this was premeditated. You have also now lost your good character and you have shown remorse.

"However this was not your finest hour. Regardless of what went on before, you broke your daughter's nose.”

Yes, I know 'good character' really means 'hasn't come before the court before', but I can't be the only one for whom it jars in these stories? 

“The ideal situation would be moving us out of the house.”

Well, actually, I could think of another one:

The woman lives with her husband and two youngest children in Earl Rise.

She said: “I am classed as living in a severely overcrowded house - we are living in a two bed maisonette but four of us live here.”

One room for you and your current sperm donor, and one for the kids. How on earth is that 'severely overcrowded'..? 

The mum, who wishes to be kept anonymous, has been living inside a Council-owned two bedroom maisonette in Earl Rise, Plumstead since March 2017.

She told the News Shopper that the “mould” has “led her two youngest children develop Bronchitis” – claiming that her seven-month-old son has recently been on a nebuliser.

So you had another child despite the problems? Which I presume the council hasn't offered to fix? 

“I keep the maisonette clean and tidy and I have informed the council of the health issues my children are facing, but they can only suggest removing the ceiling and putting a new one in.”

Oh! Well, then, I ... wait.  

“This would mean I would have to remove the furniture from my children’s room and then put everything back afterwards - but my baby is seven months and I do not have the time to do that.”

 I really need to get a smaller one of these...

Put The Dangerous Bitch Down...

A schoolboy had to have stitches in his leg after being mauled by a trainee police dog at a cop’s house on Christmas Day.

There's taking your work home, and then, there's this: 

Sergeant Fleur Tedshill, an experienced dog handler for West Midlands Police, had been looking after the training pup at her home in Brierley Hill, Birmingham.

The black dog, called Penny, was being trained by the police officer after her working police dog Snap retired.

Sgt Tedshill and her family had been celebrating Christmas Day when the attack on the boy took place. Penny has now been removed from the home and placed into West Midlands Police’s kennels, and will be reassessed.

What? I really think you should cut your losses, don't you? 

“We are still investigating this incident and the matter has been referred to our professional standards department, as is standard practice in incidents such as these.”

 I don't see any Bonio in your future...

Trying To Save On Bullets, Cumbria Police..?

The witness shared: “I was driving up Kingstown Road, at the junction of Lowry Hill Road, and a man flagged me down for help. He had been attacked by two loose dogs on his way to work. I did all I could to help him whilst he laid on the cold, wet road.

“The dogs just kept coming back for more. I got them away from him several times but also had to protect myself by jumping through my car window as they were coming for me too. A white car also stopped and called for an ambulance. I had no other option but to call the police to tend to the dogs.”

Odd phrasing! 

“I’d like to think I saved him from any further harm as the pair just kept coming back for more. I’m glad I was passing at the time because what could’ve happened is unthinkable.

“I do love dogs, but these two, on this occasion were out to kill. I hope the police dealt with them, as bad as that may sound.”

Why is everyone so apologetic about the need to do what needs to be done? 

“An ambulance arrived for the man who was attacked and from there on the dogs were still roaming around. As I left the scene a police van turned up. Once I’d spoken to them two armed response vehicles arrived to tend to the dogs.”

Goo...

Oh. 

Cumbria Police confirmed that they had attended the incident. A spokesperson for the force said: “Police were called to Kingstown Road, Carlisle, at 12.03am today (January 12) following a report that two dogs were on the street without an owner and a man had been bitten.

“An ambulance was also called and the man was treated by medical staff.

“Officers, including a dog handler, attended and the dogs were seized.”

They should have been dealt with then and there. In fact, if you'd done your jobs, this man wouldn't have been injured at all, as we learn in the comments: 

 

I hope he sues you. 

 

"Gosh, How Surprising!" Said No-One, Ever...

A woman has avoided jail...

*yawns* How unusual. 

...after assaulting three police officers and two paramedics.

What..?! 

Terri Gunn has been given a suspended prison sentence by Brighton magistrates after she assaulted five emergency workers in Brighton on June 5, 2021.

Gunn, of Grove Hill, Brighton, was given a 12-week prison sentence, suspended for 18 months. She must also pay £350 compensation and abstain from drinking alcohol for 90 days.

*sighs* Brighton... 

Why Didn't Your Daughter Join The Dots?

“Why didn’t the school and social workers and police join up the dots?” said Clements. “If they had, Laura and Ella might still be here.”

Another day, another 'Why didn't the State do what my daughter should have done about her abusive relationship?' paen in the 'Guardian'... 

The family say an opportunity was lost on Boxing Day, 2014.

A big one, at that: 

Ella and her mother, who was in a distressed state, had run to a neighbour. Mortimer said Boon had punched her in the face, but subsequently changed her story and refused to press charges.

*sighs* 

A social worker saw Boon as a high risk. She called the school, but didn’t explain why she was making inquiries. In April, the case was closed.

Mortimer could have been given more support – although she have may decided then that remaining in the relationship was safer.

*boggle* 

The Home Office has now provided funding for a DHR repository alongside which the Domestic Abuse Commissioner’s office is developing a national oversight mechanism, which could come into operation this year.

“I believe that this new mechanism can help prevent future tragedies,” said Jacobs.

It won't, while women refuse to take the help offered.  

What More Information Do You Need..?

During the incident, Diana of Chilton Drive, Higham was knocked over by the larger dog and sustained significant bruising to her leg leaving her unable to put her boots on.

Not just 'dog on dog' that you can safely give her the brush off, then, Kent cops? Nor is it the only incident:  

The mother stopped walking her pets there after a similar incident in June last year with the same suspect.

"After, the owner of the field extended the fence upwards but I said I am never bringing the dog here. It is not safe. They recently said that it was secure again so I started coming back."

Guess it wasn't. Who built the fences, John Hammond's architect? 

Kent Police was called at 10.16am on Monday, December 27 to a report that a dog had attacked another dog on Bowesden Lane, Shorne.

Officers have carried out enquiries and anyone with any information in relation to this incident is asked to contact officers quoting reference 46/267135/21.

Why do I suspect that 'carried out enquiries' doesn't mean what any reasonable person would think it meant? 

Why Do They Need The Tail To Wag The Dog?

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, said: “I would get rid of it (WFH) now. People have got to be encouraged back into the office.

“The infrastructure in London is desperately in need of people going back to the office — shops, small food outlets, restaurants, entertainment — all these things that make London vibrant are all flat at the moment.”

Make up your mind, I thought it was all the stabbings that did that?! 

Sir Bob Neill, Tory MP for Bromley and Chislehurst, said WFH guidance should go by January 26 “at the latest and earlier if hospitalisations continue to decline”.

He told the Standard: “The hospitality and retail sectors in central London are being crippled and, thanks to the success of the vaccine campaign, albeit that we have more to do there, we must be planning to move steadily back to normality as soon as possible.”

Why 'must' we be planning that? What if WFH is the new normal? What if workers aren't the only ones to benefit?

Ros Morgan, chief executive of the Heart of London Business Alliance, said: “Work from home guidance has hollowed out the centre of London and meant that our businesses and cultural venues had a really difficult December — an option for office workers to come back would bring a much-needed boost to our capital. Central London stands ready to welcome people back — so let’s remove the barriers as soon as we can and help bring London back to life.”

Everyone seems to be forgetting that these services grew up in the first place to service a need - if the need diminishes because the working culture is changing, then they need to adapt to serve the new need or die out. Not demand that workers and firms regress to serve them up with a captive market.

That's not capitalism, and it's certainly not progress either.  

"We tried to save her. He had this big knife so no one wanted to go near."

Mr Jiyad said the driver's actions were heroic and described how he himself tried to save the woman: 'I tried to speak to her as she was bleeding and held her as she took her last breath. I have blood on my hand from it.'

His wife, who asked not be named, added: 'The driver wasn't driving very fast but nothing could take the guy from the lady. The driver was the only one who could do anything.'

Your reminder, should you need more, that when seconds count, the police are only minutes away. 

But should you manage to fight back, they'll turn up and arrest you for daring to do what they can't or often won't: 

Police arrived within minutes and were seen leading the driver into the back of a police van. Officers said a 26-year-old man was being questioned on suspicion of murder.

Detective Chief Inspector Jim Eastwood said: 'This was a terrible incident that occurred in broad daylight on a busy London street. It also appears that a number of members of the public bravely tried to intervene to stop the attack.'

Well, don't worry, no-one will do that again now... 

Local MP Karen Buck said what happened was 'horrific' and 'devastating' for both relatives of those killed and the surrounding community.

And the man who tried to do the right thing and now finds himself caught in the gears of an uncaring 'justice' system? Any words for him?  

"How Dare You Resist!"

Something rapists probably say. But it's not just confined to them, is it?

Channel 4 is facing the wrath of female stars and staff...

Oh, what now? 

...for giving the actor Noel Clarke airtime to plead his innocence over groping claims by 20 women.

Employees at the network fear a Channel 4 documentary with the former Doctor Who star will allow him to seek sympathy and question why the public turned against him after the allegations.

You mean he should just lie there and take it, ladies? 

Women working across the entertainment industry are also incensed, with one well-known female star describing the planned show as 'an insult to every woman treated so appallingly by this man'.

Aren't you missing the word 'allegedly' there? He hasn't, after all, been convicted of anything. And he may never be...

Clarke, 46, is also believed to have sought the advice of an expert in reputational damage in an effort to navigate a successful comeback to the entertainment world.

Aha, that's the real issue for these malicious bitches - the idea that once they've cast their runes, he might escape his fate after all.  

Don't They Ever Put Two And Two Together?

References handed to the court described Hubbard as a “hard-working family man” and a “big softie,” Mr Barraclough QC continued.

And Hubbard, of previous good character, felt “deep remorse” after acting out of character, said Mr Barraclough QC, who said Hubbard suffered osteoporosis, diabetes and hypertension.

Oh, sounds like a sick man, so what was he doing downing all this? 

He also claimed Mr Connell’s injuries were caused by broken glass, with the six pints of Guinness and one vodka and coke he consumed having not affected his behaviour.

Doesn't the judge ever think 'Wait a minute...'? 

Judge Jeremy Donne QC ordered Hubbard to compensate “clearly intelligent” Mr Connell £15,000.

For a finger? 

“You have heard this morning Mr Connell describe in very clear terms the impact the events of that night had upon him.

“Fortunately the results of the injury have not been as catastrophic as they might otherwise have been,” he said. “Mr Connell is clearly an intelligent young man reading for a career in engineering, that is fortunate, because his previous career was thwarted by you.

“You are 60-years-old, you are a hard working family man, you have had a completely unblemished life before this event and it is entirely correct to say this offence was completely out of character.”

Is it? 

Hubbard, of The Street, was handed eight months suspended for 18 months, must complete 120 hours of unpaid work and 20 rehabilitation requirement activity days.

Someone's making a fortune out of these soft sentences, aren't they? 

Building Of The Future!

Sadly, no, it won't be hovering hovering above Halesworth after all, much to the disappointment of the commenters. 

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Out On The Town With Orthopterans..?

No wonder our sportsmen are always losing!

Sunday Funnies...

Still far better than anything we award the Turner Prize to!

Blasts From The Past...

Occasionally, I get comments on long-dead posts, like this one that popped up on a 2012 post on Sunday16th January:

"I’m not being funny but unless you understand the circumstances don’t comment on stuff you no nothing about. Unfortunately there are other issues that weren’t made public so how can people comment."

It's usually because some chav or their relative has Googled their own name. Well, sadly for anon there, two can do this: 

Daniel Rutter, 33, of Plane Street, Hull, admitted to assaulting two emergency workers, assault by beating, harassment without violence and causing criminal damage in Hull Magistrates' Court.

Is it the same person? The name and age (though there's a two year difference, but that could be poor reporting) and location makes me think so. If so, he's not been rehabilitated by his stints in chokey: 

Pardeep Dhinsa, prosecuting, told the court on November 12, Rutter was released from prison.

He proceeded to call and text his ex-partner 200 times to retrieve his things. On November 16, she agreed to drive his things to him, and the two then had sex in her van, the court was told.

Who said romance is dead? 

Mr Walsh, mitigating, told the court that Rutter is aware of his unsavoury offence, and understood he would receive an immediate custodial sentence.

Well, he's been here before many, many times, after all. 

Rutters has 34 previous convictions with 85 offences which include assault, aggravated bodily harm and common assault on the same victim. The magistrates ordered Rutters to pay £125 in fines and sentenced him to 18 weeks in prison.

Which he won't serve, and then he'll be free again to make a nuisance of himself... 

Hint: It's Not The Americans Who Are Embarrassing Themselves Here...

I hadn’t even reached Ithaca, the tiny university town in upstate New York – my home for the next six years, as I studied for a PhD – when the confusion over my Blackness and British accent began. I was ill-prepared for Matt, the skinny white American in a cap sitting beside me on the plane.

“But you don’t seem like you’re from London,” he said (I’m from Hackney, and very proud). Matt had never been to the UK, let alone London.

Like a lot of Americans. I guess it's OK to sneer at them for that. Anyone sneering at young black British youth for their ignorance would no doubt draw ire so fast it'd make your head spin... 

This response emerges from the US’s own unique history of race and class. The British accent remains for some the epitome of white privilege, reviving memories of high-born English settlers and exuding an air of aristocracy. Blackness signifies the opposite. The property of those settlers. The lowest of the low. Slaves. And so I was violating the US’s time-worn prejudices. Matt was trying to put me back in my place.

Maybe he was trying to be friendly. Or chat you up? Raised, no doubt, on tv shows and films showing polite and friendly British folk, and not noticing the huge chip on both your shoulders... 

I think twice when crossing the road at night and hurry when I see a police car: a reflex that is as much response to the state violence that killed George Floyd as the realities of growing up Black in London.

I thought George Floyd's own violence played quite a big part in that. Funny how it never gets mentioned, isn't it?  

There’s also no shortage of Americans willing to embarrass themselves with stabs at “yes bruv” and “wagwan”. It’s music to my ears when I meet up with other Londoners (I’ve counted four so far) and we lay on an accent so thick some poor kid from Nebraska doesn’t know what language we speak.

Ah, yes. God forbid anyone treat you like that, eh? 

Better Tear Up That Mitigation Plea....

A mother has been found guilty of stabbing her boyfriend to death during a drug-fuelled row over mobile phones at a New Year's Eve party.

Hannah Sindrey, 24, was convicted of the murder of 31-year-old Paul Fletcher at her flat in Rayleigh, Essex, following a trial at Basildon Crown Court.

As she was being escorted from the dock, the 24-year-old yelled: 'F*** him. That's what I think. F*** him. I don't give a f***. F***ed off.'

...because declaring how remorseful she is about the murder isn't really going to cut it now, is it?

Julie Gowen, of the Kent and Essex Serious Crime Directorate, said: “This has been a challenging and intensive investigation...

Taxed your officers unduly, did it?

When the first officers on scene asked what had happened, Miss Blackwell told them: “Hannah [Sindrey] stabbed him. She is his girlfriend.”

Hmmm... 

"You never had control! That's the illusion! "

His barrister Herc Ashworth said Beau had been tethered by a rope lead but the leather handle had ripped and broken as he lunged at the child.

He said: "This is a terrible case but it was a momentary loss of control. It was an isolated incident."

It should be, yes, because the dog should be getting a one-way trip to the vet but probably won't be since the dog is clearly allowed one bite, since the idiot magistrates probably think 'Well, I won't be going to that pub...'

Beau, who is currently in kennels, was given a contingent destruction order by the court which means he will be neutered, have behavioural training and only be allowed out in public on a muzzle and lead.

One that's not frayed? 

Exeter magistrates sentenced him to a 12-month-long community order with 100 hours unpaid work and ordered to pay £680 costs, including £500 compensation to the injured child.

Exeter again? What the hell is wrong with the place? 

Stable Door Firmly Bolted...

...sadly, horse long since trampled people to death when it galloped to freedom.

Cambridge University has scrapped a programme that taught prisoners alongside students after the deadly 2019 Fishmonger’s Hall terrorist attack was carried out at one of its events.

You'd think the parents would be raging. Well, read on:

On Monday, Dave Merritt, Jack’s father (Ed: oh oh...), told the Guardian: "The Learning Together programme did a lot of good for the prisoners and the Cambridge University students who participated in it, and for that reason it is sad that the programme will not continue."

Apparently, to this bereaved virtue signaller, the problem was never asking tiny fish to potentially swim with Islamist sharks in the first place, but simply that the authorities were too naive and trusting about their selection of toothy predators... 

"It is regrettable that the university has never acknowledged its failings, either at the inquest or subsequently. The course leaders were idealistic, ambitious for the programme and naive about the risks that dangerous, high-risk, category A, Terrorist Act offenders such as Khan pose."

Aren't you just the same, then? Those are all pretty descriptive of your own views, as expressed here and elsewhere, aren't they?

"All the agencies in managing Khan – prison, probation, police, MI5 – regarded his involvement with Learning Together as a ‘protective factor’, in the absence of any evidence to support this. In the words of our barrister, Nick Armstrong of Matrix Chambers, it was if they were intoxicated by the ‘fairy dust Learning Together sprinkled over them’."

Yes Reader, Matrix Churchill - this is the law firm he's hired to excoriate the naivety of the university staff while blindly ignoring his own...

Mind you, the directors of the project don't elicit a great deal of sympathy, convinced as they are that they are the real victims here: 

In its response to the coroner, Learning Together said: “Drs Armstrong and Ludlow take this opportunity to reiterate that their personal and professional reflection, profound grief, and trauma is deep and ongoing following the tragedy of 29 November 2019.”

They aren't dead, though, as a result, are they? They are alive and kicking to broadcast their self-pity to the world. 

"What Do We Want?" "Equality!"

"When do we want it?" 

"Oooh, hang on a minute..."

Yes, that extraordinary exchange flooded Twitter with OUTRAGE! that the AA might not put ladies first. 

And as with any social media firestorm, when the boss waded in, in an attempt to pour some oil on the troubled waters (no doubt to the horrified stare of anyone the AA has employed as a media consultant) it didn't really go as he expected:

Ouch! I think I need more popcorn...

No, I'm Pretty Sure You'd Still Have Issues...

A mum-of-two who has been forced to sleep on the floor of her home for four years has been told by the council she won't be able to move for another five.

Has she outbred her living circumstance? Reader, what do you think? 

Ellie Riches, 35, lives in a studio flat that is so cramped, she's had to share a tiny bedroom with her children Nathaniel, 16 months, and Kenzie, five.

*sighs* 

The three-room council home in Pimlico is so small that Ellie's partner hasn't been able to move in, and she and her children struggle to live or sleep.

Clearly, he visited plenty! 

But not only is the size of the property causing the family issues, it's also infested with mice.

"Every morning I have to get up and hoover the floors so they don’t get hold of mice poop."

You mean you wouldn't bother hoovering every day otherwise? 

Ellie said she cannot afford to rent privately, nor move out of Westminster because her whole family lives there, including her seriously-ill mum who she sometimes has to care for. She said: "No one seems to want to help. They just seem to think this is adequate.

"I have enough anxiety just going out. It's bad, but then I don't want to go back home.

"I would lose the majority of my issues if I had a bigger property."

I very much doubt that.  

Every Word Is Proved A Lie...

Another day, another 'Poor refugees, we must take more!' article in - where else? - the 'Guardian':

Fawzia says she has parents to thank for inspiring her to aim high and fight for what she believes in.

Except she didn't, she fled the country almost before the rifles of its supposed 'trained fighting men' we spent taxpayer money to set in place hit the ground... 

“By the time I was eight or nine years old I knew I wanted to be a lawyer,” she says. “My mother’s advice to me for when I was grown up was: stand on your own two feet, don’t stand on your husband’s feet.”

Did she ever add "...from a safe country where you can stand on the feet of their taxpaters instead" I wonder? 

She is determined to continue raising her voice for her sisters who are in peril just as she did in Afghanistan.

How, exactly? 

Fawzia is energetically networking with other female Afghan judges and human rights defenders in exile, along with prominent female lawyers in the UK such as Helena Kennedy, to try to secure a safe exit for those who have not yet managed to escape.

Ah. Of course. See, it's never just one 'refugee', is it? That one immediately becomes a foothold for all of them. 

What Happened To The MoD?

It used to be the only government department that got contracting spot on:

The government has been accused of wasting billions of pounds of defence spending which could have reversed cuts to Devonport-based warships.

Plymouth Labour MP Luke Pollard claimed the lost £13billion was caused by mismanagement in the Ministry of Defence and by government ministers.

A government defence review announced last March that the two oldest Devonport-based frigates would be retired and the savings used to pay for the next generation of warships.

HMS Monmouth was decommissioned in June and HMS Montrose is due to go out of service later this year after returning from operations in the Gulf.

 But I guess the long march through the institutions got there in the end.

Labour said the lost money could have paid for more tanks, aircraft and warships and avoided cuts in the recent Integrated Defence Review.

Of course, being Labour, he'd no doubt demand they didn't do anything other than escort 'refugees' to our shores anyway... 

H/T: i.r.Jackson via email

Throw The Kitchen Sink In Too...

Nicholas Lewin, defending, said the defendant had recently been diagnosed with ADHD, had been proscribed (sic) medication and was not a 'sophisticated criminal'.

Well, I assume that sophisticated criminals don't commit their crimes while being filmed, so, yes... 

'Mr Roberts is not a rampant fire starter, twisted or other,' he said. 'The issue of impulsive behaviour becomes more acute for someone who suffers from that condition.

Better not go to riots then... 

'He is someone on the fringes of society who is perhaps not equipped to be fully integrated within it - I am trying not to be politically incorrect. He is not your average criminal.

Oh, he's decidedly average for Bristol! 

'He is content for me to call him Mr Roberts. He has in fact adopted a they or them and adopted a different persona in prison.

'Custody for him will be considerably more difficult than it would be for somebody without his difficulties.'

Well, he's got 14 years to change his mind again...

If Only Jackie Weaver Had Been Chairing This One....

Mr Howell aired his controversial views in an online video in the wake of a town hall discussion on climate change.

Oh oh! We've all seen the folly of airing these, haven't we?  

Councillors debated ways the local authority can achieve net zero carbon emissions by 2050. He said: 'Pets are an elephant in the room.'

Blimey, if people are keeping elephants, the methane emissions would be awful, I quite agree! 

'It is a really serious issue that politicians don't appear to be prepared to raise, understandably they are afraid of the backlash but it is important.'

Mr Howell ain't afraid of no backlash, no sirree! 

'It is estimated that globally pets consume 20 per cent of the world's meat and fish. A medium sized dog has the same emissions effect as a Toyota Landcruiser, in fact some estimates say it is twice as much.'

Who's producing these 'estimates'? And how much methane have they breathed in?! 

'I have had a lot of criticism about this....'

You don't say... 

'...but I think it is important to say that we all bear personal responsibility for reducing our carbon emissions.

'I am not saying we should to ban or exterminate dogs (sic) but what I am saying is that people need to think carefully when their animals pass away, whether they need to replace them or scale down the size of their pets.

'Perhaps whether they need to share pets, whether they need the support of their own pet or can get enjoyment and contentment from other people's animals.'

I almost admire him for standing up and expounding on his beliefs, and not caring about how they will be perceived. But only almost... 

Mr Howell's comments were described as 'worrying' by the Kennel Club.

And 'ludicrous' by everyone else.

Why Does This One Rate The Protests And Vigils..?

...when this one passed by without a single peep from the usual crowd?

Hundreds of people gathered in London on Saturday for a vigil to remember Ashling Murphy, a primary school teacher murdered while she was on an afternoon run in Ireland last week, and call for an end to violence against women.

She wasn't even killed here!

“We are here to support her family, and because we could all be in the same situation,” said Caitlin O’Shea, 31, who had joined the vigil with many of her friends.

The crowd gathered outside the Irish Centre in Camden, at 4pm, the time Murphy was attacked days before, to hear music and observe a minute’s silence. Organisers said they had only expected a handful of people, but hundreds blocked the street and spilled across a nearby junction.

Newham a bit too far for you all to go, love? Or is Camden just a place you can get some shopping done at the same time, maybe? 

“We have come together in solidarity with women of Ireland and women of the world who are angry, distressed and heartbroken,” Anna Johnston, one of the vigil organisers, told the crowd.

But not, I note, women a bit closer to home. 

"Watch Out Sarge, He's Got A Hornet!"

Maybe I shouldn't have laughed at them for taking so long to end the siege...

God, I Hope This Is Really A Typo...

...and 'trainee reporter' Adam meant 'foiling'. The alternative is too horrible to contemplate.

H/T: Vova via comments

Sunday Funnies...

Used to be a regular read, but sadly now can't compete with actual news...!

It Sure Does 'Raise Serious Questions'...

A councillor with the role of champion for young people has hit out at age discrimination...

*yawns* 

...after he was accused of ‘boasting about binge drinking’.

*wakes up* What..? 

Cllr James Barber was first elected as a member for Broken Cross and Upton ward as an 18-year-old in 2019 and given the role on Cheshire East Council to represent youngsters’ interests later that year.

But his posts on Twitter and TikTok have been criticised - with one showing him running down the street with an office-style chair strapped to his back.

It is captioned ‘apparently 7 jaegerbombs in 30 mins turns me into a weapon’.

It turns you into a weapons-grade idiot, for certain! 

It has led to calls for him to step down from his position.

But Cllr Barber has also received support and he has repeated his previously stated view that as a young politician he gets treated differently. He says the reaction ‘raises serious questions’.

Yes, of course, it's not your actions, is it? It's those squares, daddy-o! 

And this week he said: “After long weeks of working on a Covid-19 testing and infection control team at work, along with being a 21-year-old at university and being a councillor, I go out for drinks with my friends.

“However, I acknowledge that, through posting videos on social media of me on a night out I have upset and offended some. For that, I unreservedly apologise.

“I don’t encourage binge-drinking, and do not binge-drink myself, so I’m unsure as to where that came from.”

I think you'll find it came from you, since you posted it! 

“Furthermore, I have not broken any rules or laws.”

No-one's saying you have.  

“However, this story raises in itself serious questions around the way in which young people are treated. When government ministers were videoed drunk dancing in nightclubs, or drunkenly singing karaoke, they were praised for ‘showing a human side’.”

If you think this is the same thing, it calls into question your attitude even further... 

“Whereas when it is a young person, it’s seen as ‘binge-drinking’. Is it any wonder so few young people wish to put themselves forward for election? As a result of all of this, I will be more mindful of what I post on social media. In the meantime, I will continue standing up for my residents and young people, as this is my passion.”

You've learned a lesson, then? One would think it wasn't one you really needed to, if you were smart. But clearly, you aren't. 

This Is What You Were Clapping In 2020...

A teenager is recovering from life-changing surgery to stop her heart and lungs from being crushed after a stranger stepped forward to pay for it.

Some American city, where they have no 'safety net' I guess?  

Autumn Bradley, 15, was diagnosed with pectus excavatum, known as sunken chest syndrome, which caused her ribcage to bend inwards at the sternum. NHS surgery had been available in England but funding stopped in 2019.

*blinks* 

The operation, which cost several thousand pounds, took place at James Cook University Hospital in Middlesbrough at the end of September. It was paid for by a private donor from the Isle of Man, who read about Autumn's plight.

"I just sat on that phone call and I just burst out crying when I found out," Mrs Grierson said."She is doing so much better and as much as we had gone through all of that, I do believe that if she had not had this surgery now we would have lost her."

And the NHS you all clapped for would have been fine with that. 'Make you into a facsimile of a woman, sir? Of course, step this way. Outta the way there, dying little girl, we've got important medical stuff to do...'' 

Mrs Grierson said she hoped data from her daughter's recovery would form part of an ongoing review into NHS funding for the surgery, which was stopped due to insufficient evidence of benefits.

Without it, she'd die. There's evidence of benefits if they'd only look. Far more than I suspect they'd find in liposuction, tattoo removal, gastric band surgery or 'gender reassignment'... 

Is It 'Cos I Is White?

Yesterday while sitting down to a nice curry at teatime, I nearly choked on a poppadum when Dal Babu was asked on BBC News to comment on the case of a man wrongly Tasered by police who'd smashed down the door of the wrong house:

A pensioner who was tasered by armed officers after they allegedly raided the wrong home has said he feared being shot and killed in his dining room by “police thugs full of testosterone”. Roy Morton, an 80-year-old former ballet dancer, was woken by the sound of police “smashing down” his front door in Cricklewood, northwest London, at about 7am on Tuesday last week.

Surprisingly, instead of thundering about "the cultural aspects that might be misinterpreted as being aggression within a particular community" or wondering if police 'would have dealt with this differently', he was quite non-committal, declaring that there was an ongoing investigation and everyone should wait for the outcome of that. It was such a bland statement I wondered why they bothered to get him on the line for a quote at all.  

The interview isn't available on the BBC to link to. In fact, you won't find this case mentioned at all this morning.

I wonder why?

Gosh. It's a mystery, isn't it?

Can He Survive This...?

Downing Street staff allegedly boozed ‘excessively’ at two leaving parties the night before the Queen was forced to grieve alone at the Duke of Edinburgh’s Covid-secure funeral last year, it has emerged tonight.

Government advisers and civil servants drank large amounts of alcohol and danced in No10’s basement and gardens after work on Friday, April 16, 2021 to mark the departure of Boris Johnson’s press chief James Slack and one of the Prime Minister’s personal photographers, according to The Telegraph.

Because those optics are hard to get out from under; the Queen grieving alone, obeying the rules, while the so-called leaders of the country turned a blind eye to parties in their very offices...

A No10 spokesman insisted that Mr Johnson was not in Downing Street that day, having left for the Chequers country estate on Thursday evening and staying there through to Saturday.

It doesn't matter - he's the boss. Isn't the buck supposed to stop with him?

The Tyranny Of The Aggrieved...

Two items in the 'Mail' this morning show where we're heading...

Dr Erin Pritchard, a lecturer in disability and education, told supermarkets that the term midget was 'a form of hate speech'.

Dr Pritchard acknowledged that some people may think the change is part of 'cancel culture' but argued 'when people scream the name at you in the street, it is only right that it is removed'.

'The change should have happened years ago. It is easy for people not called the word to think its removal is wrong,' Dr Pritchard, who also appeared in Channel 4's Dating with Dwarfism, said.

She added that she had asked Amazon to remove novelty items which use the term but acknowledged it would not be possible to rename items no longer in production such as the MG Midget car or the Daihatsu Midget minivan.

No doubt removal of any mention of them will be the next demand...  

And elsewhere:

The incident comes a week after a jury cleared four people of criminal damage despite the fact they did not deny pulling down the statue of slave trader Edward Colston in Bristol.

Earlier tonight, the man said the statue should have been taken down in the past. 'If this happened decades ago, I wouldn't be here would I?' he told the negotiators.

Predictably, like Pritchard, it's 'Me, me, me,,,' all the way through. Emboldened by the verdict, no doubt. 

Owen King, 52, who works in marketing, was cycling past when he saw the man chipping away at the statue. He said: 'I saw all the police and I presumed he was protesting about Eric Gill and his background. Then the fire brigade were here as well. People are just wondering, 'why don't they take him off the sculpture?'

'So I think they're just waiting for him to come down. He's got this tiny little hammer and he's bashing away at the leg there. Not much is coming off and he seems to be resting a lot.'

Well, since the police stood around like they usually do, paralysed by the thought that taking action might rebound on them if the miscreant was injured (which is why neighbours' lives are disrupted for a fourth day in Coventry), he had plenty of time. 

And no, he's not supported by anyone outside the unhinged: 

He added: 'Someone shouted to him, 'get off it, you ugly person, an ugly person desecrating a beautiful thing'. And he shouted 'you paedo'. And then everyone was laughing at him. I think you (should) separate art from the person.'

Responding to the man's comments calling people paedophiles, he added: 'I think it's really reductive.' Moments later one woman, who was walking past the scene, shouted: 'Art should be separated from the person. You should spend your energy and time with something else. Art can be beautiful by itself.'

Why are we allowing people who don't represent the will of the majority to ride roughshod over the rest of us due to the cowardice of the state and the corporations? 

Newsflash, Judge: None Of Them Mean It...

A driver who was "off his head on cocaine" when he killed a highways maintenance worker mocked the man's family after being jailed.

Duval Daly, 57, stuck his tongue out at Michael Bennett's family and said: "I will be out in three years".

The justice system mocks the man's family, so I suppose it's only right the criminal gets to, as well: 

Daly, of Grove House, College Road, Waltham Cross, pleaded guilty to five offences: causing death by careless driving when over the limit for cocaine, cannabis and diazepam; and causing death while having no insurance and no licence.

And for this, he got, wait for it...six years and nine months. But why is he so sure he'll not serve the full term? 

St Albans Crown Court heard Daly, who had 55 convictions for 143 offences, was thought to have been up to 20 times the legal limit for cocaine at the time.

Ah. Of course.  

After Daly was led away, the judge offered Mr Bennett's family his sincere condolences and said he was sorry they saw him stick his tongue out.

"It puts into context his expression of remorse," he said.

Wait, surely he didn't..? 

Before Daly stuck his tongue out at the family, his barrister Richard Milne said: ”He offers his deepest condolences saying ‘no words I could say could come close to giving you peace'.”

I wonder how the barrister sleeps at night. 

H/T: i.r. jackson via email 

Here's How To Make The Lazy Bastards Do The Job We Pay Them For...

Another day, another dead pet and a '*shrug* So what?' from the lazy bastards in blue:

The spokeswoman added: "The officer has also contacted personally the lady who reported, expressing his sincere sympathy at what happened to her dog. He explained that incidents of dogs attacking other dogs (that are not assistance dogs) are not an offence that police or any other prosecuting agency can take action on."

Except he's either ignorant, or lying. Which is it? 

I suspect the spokeswoman knows, because she clarifies:

"Since in the original reports there was also no mention of any person being injured or made to feel at risk of being injured in the incident this did not appear to meet the criteria of a Dog being Dangerously Out of Control therefore it could not be crimed as such."

Yes, a lone woman trying desperately to save her small dog being savaged by a pack of German Shepherds off their leads while the owner stood and watched and made no attempt to control them wouldn't fear being injured, would she? 

Robocop would have more imagination - and empathy! - than this unnamed officer... 

"As an emotive subject as this is, the police must remain impartial and objective and present to the CPS only matters that have a realistic prospect of a successful prosecution. In addition there were no independent witnesses or cctv/phone footage therefore no criminal offences were identified in this case."

This sentence says 'We're too lazy to put in the effort. Bring us some low-hanging fruit instead'. 

"This does appear to be a tragic one off incident and we will request the area’s designated officer to incorporate these dog walking areas in their patrols for reassurance."

What sort of 'reassurance' do you think you offer? Who's reassured by this farrago of lies, half-truths and disinterest?

So, remember, if you should be in this situation, the key phrase is 'I was in fear for my life and limb because the dog was so aggressive, officer'. 

Andreas Christopheros Asks The Question We Would All Like The Answer To....

"The highest-ranking judges in the UK deemed him not to be a danger to society and lightened his sentence, which was baffling.

"How can a man, who drove 300 miles to someone's house, to throw a pint of sulphuric acid on their face, and bugger straight back off, then not cooperate with the police, deemed not to be a danger to society?

"It just doesn't make sense."

No, it doesn't. But these days, we don't really expect our so-called 'justice system' to, do we? 

Phillips was given a life sentence with a minimum term of eight years in October 2015 - but the life sentence was quashed a year later.

Judges instead imposed a 16-year sentence, saying he would be eligible for parole after he had served eight.

Is it me, or..? 

It's Clearly Different When It's Children...

Police Scotland said two children aged three and 10 sustained minor injuries and a mini Yorkshire terrier died.

The force said a 40-year-old woman and a 16-year-old boy have been charged in connection with the incident.

A Police Scotland spokesman said: "A 40-year-old woman and a 16-year-old male youth have been charged in connection with a dog attack in a park in Bathgate.

"The incident happened around 6.20pm on Wednesday January 5 near Blackburnhall Gardens when two children, aged 10 and three, sustained minor injuries and a mini Yorkshire terrier died."

A full report will be sent to the procurator fiscal."

Don't drop the ball this time, eh?

Must Have Been The Overcrowding That Upset It...

At around 12.40am on December 25, a car left the road and crashed into a tree in Beeches Avenue in Carshalton.

Two women who were in the car, both aged in their 20s, were taken to hospital for treatment.

Four other people – all occupants of the car – received treatment as well, and none of their injuries are serious.

Must have been a pretty big car. Usually, the police say what make. The fact they haven't makes me suspect it wasn't a six-seater... 

Seems there's a lot of it about:

The 22-year-old, of Helston, had been on her way back from Falmouth when the crash occurred.

She recalled: "I stopped in Tesco car park for a bit before I was heading home and came down the main street past Boo Koos and then waited for the lights to change.

"As the lights changed I headed in the direction of my home but when I came near the second turning my car fishtailed and I lost control.

"I wasn't going too fast as I had just came out of the traffic lights..."

Really? Hmmm.... 

A witness to the crash told Devon Live how he and his girlfriend's brother narrowly missed colliding with Robyn's car which was about two to three metres away when it crashed.

He recalled: "She beeped for us to move out of the way as a warning that she was going too fast and was going to lose control, but it all happened very quickly."

Whoops! 

You'd Think There Was Nothing Between Eritrea And The UK...

...but an empty void, wouldn't you?

Friends told the inquest that Tekle was profoundly traumatised by experiences he had in Eritrea that had prompted him to flee, and also by the long and dangerous journey he had made to the UK.

Well, why make it then? Given all the countries he had to cross through to get here... 

He was violently attacked in Calais, and arrived in Britain hidden in a refrigerated lorry in December 2016.

You mean, 'smuggled himself in illegally'..? 

Benjamin Hunter, a volunteer who had met Tekle in Calais when he was living in the camp there, tried repeatedly to alert officials who were working with him to Tekle’s deteriorating mental health.

Addressing the inquest by phone from Sudan, speaking with the assistance of an interpreter, Tekle’s father said his son was loving and caring, had many friends, a good sense of humour and a passion for cycling.

“I hoped that he would be safe in the UK, build his life there, go to college, study and one day get married and have his own children,” Tecle Tesfamichel said.

And maybe if he'd applied to come here legally, that would have happened. But he didn't.

Another Day, Another American Bulldog Bites The Hand That Fed It...

This called for extreme measures:

The police were called after the pet rounded on its owner. A helicopter was also called to the location after the dog fled the property in Exeter, Devon.

I hope someone had a tape of 'Ride of the Valkyries' to hand... 

The owners consented that the dog should be put down in the interests of safety.

Why on earth was their consent deemed necessary? 

Inspector Greg Hine of Devon and Cornwall Police said: "The decision to authorise an armed response to this incident was not taken lightly, but we responded proportionately to the risk to public safety.

"Unfortunately, the dog could not be controlled and was humanely put down.

"The owners agreed with our course of action, which we appreciate was upsetting for them and for the community."

Anyone 'upset' by this is an idiot. But then, only an idiot would want one of these things as a 'pet' in the first place... 

H/T: Ian J via comments and Peter Wells via email

"To Hell With It, Let's Just Make Up Our Own Words..."

 

"...who is ever going to notice?"

'Nurse, Proofreading Tool, Stat!!

*sighs*

Sunday Funnies...

Wait, only eight...?

"No, We Should Be Immune From Market Forces!"

Speaking about the prospect of the UK’s first black publisher and specialist bookshop closing, Prof Augustine John, chair of the Communities Empowerment Network (CEN) charity, said it was “at the heart of the community” and should be saved.

If it truly was 'at the heart of the community', it wouldn't need saving, would it?

“New Beacon Books is the only remaining independent black publishing and bookselling entity in the UK,” he said. “Throughout its 55 years, it has been pivotal to the growth of the Black Education Movement, the Black Supplementary School Movement and current calls for the decolonisation of the curriculum.”

Hmm, sounds like something that won't be missed, then. I'd never heard of the first two organisations, so I looked them up - they were set up to oppose streaming and specialist schools in Haringey as 'racist'... 

“Unlike Amazon, Alibris and other online suppliers, New Beacon has been at the heart of communities, building social movements and giving expression to young voices.”

Yes, of course, it's all the fault of Amazon, that dastardly corporation dedicated to giving the shopper what they want... 

The actor Adjoa Andoh...

 

...tweeted: “I am so sad about this wonderful bookshop and the haven of cultural solidarity and information it provided to the black and extended communities for over half a century.”

I note you don't say how often you shopped there... 

Another social media user, Elliot Ross, commented: “How have we in the UK made this a time of unprecedented ‘visibility’ for works by Black authors, while at the same time producing the conditions in which a radical bulwark like New Beacon Books can’t sustain itself after half a century of vital work?”

Look around you - how many independent booksellers do you see? Much less tiny niche ones. 

I Guess You Don't Have To Be Smart To Be A Model...

Since the 'spiking' panic seems to have fizzled out, the Americans go one better. Well, don't they always?

The model also slammed Apple for the creation of the product in the first place due to the harmful implications that come with it.

“@Apple, did you take into consideration the danger and potentially fatal consequences this device has? Ladies, check your bag, coat, pockets and surroundings. Disturbed isn’t even the word.”

Apple wisely didn't comment, or say what I first thought: 'Yes, of course they did, airhead. Or you'd still be oblivious to the fact it's there...' 

On Apple’s website, the brand shared that the purpose of the device is as a “supereasy way to keep track of your stuff.”

The description reads, “Attach one to your keys, slip another in your backpack. And just like that, they’re on your radar in the Find My app, where you can also track down your Apple devices and keep up with friends and family.”

As for avoiding any “unwanted tracking” the site reads: “AirTag is designed to discourage unwanted tracking. If someone else’s AirTag finds its way into your stuff, your iPhone will notice it’s traveling with you and send you an alert (Ed: as happened here). After a while, if you still haven’t found it, the AirTag will start playing a sound to let you know it’s there.”

Still, I guess it got her name in the papers, and let's face it, it won't put off future employers. Since MENSA aren't likely to ever be perusing her LinkedIn... 

Another Day, Another U-Turn On Green Idiocy...

The Government has backtracked on plans which would have required every shop, office or factory in England, including new and existing non-residential buildings, to have at least one electric car charger installed if they have a car park for 20 cars or more.

But the Department for Transport (DfT) has now said it will only be compulsory for new or refurbished commercial premises.

Because businesses looked at the plans, at the potential cost, and responded with one voice:

Pushing Me To The Limit Gordon Ramsay GIFfrom Pushing Me To The Limit GIFs

Any competent Conservative government would have factored in this before announcing it.

According to a response to a consultation the DfT has said the move comes after fears over the costs for businesses.

What a shame we don't appear to have one of those... 

Time The Justice System Was Muzzled...

...and castrated, though I fear that's already been done:

A Scots grandad whose thumb was ‘bitten off’ during a terrifying dog attack has been told there is not enough evidence to prosecute the animal’s owner.

The 72-year-old was left in hospital after having a large part of his digit severed as well as suffering numerous wounds to his face, throat, body and legs.

What sort of dog? Well, these days, it seems it's always the same type: 

We previously told how the pensioner, who did not wish to be named, had lifted his small dog off the ground after coming across the XL American bulldog-type canine.

So how on earth can there not be enough evidence? 

Police launched an investigation and seized the dog that was allegedly involved before submitting a report to the Procurator Fiscal. However, the victim’s family have been left reeling after prosecutors decided there was not enough evidence to prosecute.

In a letter from the Crown Office, they were told: “Unfortunately, on consideration of the evidence I have concluded that the statement provided by the accused in this case would not be admissible in evidence and as such, without that statement, there is insufficient evidence of the specific circumstances of the attack to allow the accused to be prosecuted.”

Does it sound to you as if the police screwed up there, Reader, reading between the lines? Failed to caution the offender owner, perhaps?

The family are, as you'd expect, disgusted with this turn of events:

“This is a dangerous animal and we genuinely believe it’s only a matter of time before it attacks someone again.”

Would it be too much to hope the next time it does, it's a relative of the cops or Procurator? 

 

"Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It..."

The Royal Navy is set to dismantle the masts from a sunken World War II wreck carrying 1,400 tons of unstable explosives, which sank off the coast of Kent in 1944.

The SS Richard Montgomery was a US Liberty Ship, which ran aground in August 1944, and despite frantic attempts to remove its deadly cargo, its hull cracked and sank off Medway in Kent.

It is now feared that an explosion could cause a 15ft high tsunami tidal wave and cause 'mass damage and loss of life', according to a new report by the Ministry of Defence.

Oo-er! I bet the TV rights are already being brokered... 

A team of bomb disposal experts trained in specialist underwater demolitions will remove the ship's masts during a two-month operation, according to the The Daily Telegraph.

Or a two minute operation, if they get it wrong! 

Another Day, Another Typical Case...

A police spokesman said: "We are investigating whether this incident is linked to another in Sandpit Lane in October.

"We want to speak to a man in connection with the incident.

"He is described as white, stocky, between 5ft 10ins tall and 6ft tall, with a facia (sic) tattoo, cropped hair and unshaven, and wearing grey tracksuit trousers, black boots, and a black jacket with a hooded top underneath."

So, your typical 'American Bulldog' owner, then? Albeit most recently, they've been female. But who am I to presume gender?

And another case:

A spokesman for Essex Police said: “We are investigating an incident where a dog died after it was reported to have been attacked by another dog.

“It happened in Chalkwell Park in Westcliff at around 3.30pm on 27 December.

“A Bichon Friese was injured and, sadly, later died.

“Our enquiries are ongoing.

“We need anyone who saw anything or has any CCTV, dashcam or doorbell footage to contact us.”

Translation: "Do our job for us, we're too lazy and don't really understand what 'investigate' means.."

Rewatchable TV January: Fawlty Towers

Thanks to covid, 2020 and 2021 was mostly a 'stay home and chill' period; I think I only racked up about a fortnight's actual work in the office since the beginning of the shutdown. So I took the time to rewatch some old favourites, some on that new-fangled streaming thingie, and some on DVD (once I'd replaced the batteries in the remote and blown the dust off the PS!). And rank them in order. 

So here's January's pick:

Just edging out 'Yes Minister' by a whisker. Mainly because, good as that was, it overstayed it's welcome, but this show will never do that, given there were only twelve episodes, which makes it very much a lightweight among this series of blogposts, as we'll learn as the year progresses. 

John Cleese has famously railed against modern wokery, and it's hard to see how a series like this one could ever be made now. So we must cherish it all the more.

And I once stayed at the hotel it was based on, the Gleneagles in Torquay, now sadly demolished!

"Our Campaign Isn't Working, Should We Deploy The Corbyn Killer?"

"Might backfire, get a patsy to do it - one we can dismiss as thick when it fails..."

Jon Stewart has slammed already-embattled J.K. Rowling for the goblins that run Gringotts bank in her Harry Potter film series, calling them out as an anti-Semitic trope.

*blinks* 

Stewart, who is Jewish, questioned why Rowling chose to 'throw Jews in there to run the f***ing underground bank' in a fictional world where people 'can ride dragons and have pet owls.'

Well, maybe because of this trope. Dwarves, goblins and kobolds ("You no take candle!") have been associated with mining and and hoarding in popular fiction and culture for the longest time. 

What next, a claim that Walt Disney really wanted Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy and the gang to sing 'Oy vey, oy vey, we're off to work today..'?  

When he first saw the Harry Potter films, Stewart said he expected other theater patrons to 'be like "h*** shit, she did not, in a wizarding world, to just throw Jews in there to run the f***ing underground bank." And everybody was just like "Wizards."'

Ah, of course. It's not just Rowling who describes a fantasy world for a living, is it? It's people like this idiot, so certain that everyone should share his delusion. 

And being Hollywood, stuffed with those capable of sensing a pile-on the way primitive fish scent blood in the water, he can always find people dumber than he is to cheer him on:

In light of Stewart's criticism, Sarah Silverman weighed in on the controversy, although she said she hadn't read the books or seen the films.

'After watching the below and then seeing the clip in the thread I am just kind of stunned. You know when you giggle but it’s really more fear than joy?' she wrote on Twitter.

I don't think it's either, my sweet. 

I think it's the nervous giggle of a person so desperate to be popular and down wiv da kidz, she's cozying up to the bully and cheering him on as he taunts the odd one out, the one who won't give in and give him the capitulation he demands...