Tweet Of The Month

A triple bill this month!

Post Title Of The Month

Mark Wadsworth on some more climate bollocks jiggery-pokery:

 

Quote Of The Month

Nominated by CJ Nerd, it's Longrider on the 'Britain's Got Talent' George Floyd furore:

"As far as wanting to provoke a conversation, well, you got one. It just wasn’t the one you wanted. These people always say the same – they want a conversation, when what they mean is blind agreement with their right-on political views. If people don’t agree, then they get all upset about it. Well, tough. Try growing up."

Post Of The Month

I predict you will never read a better response to customer complaint than this one. Utterly masterful!

H/T: DearAunty via Twitter

Brighton Should Twin With Berkeley, California...

The University of Brighton has appointed its first ever “activists in residence”.

Oh, really? Who are they? 

Shona Raine and Ven Paldano...

Nicely 'diverse'. So, how much is this grant? 

£2,000...

And what's it for? 

*blinks*

Let me read that again...

...the Queer Trans Intersex People of Colour (QTIPoC) Narratives Collective Brighton.

*laughs hysterically* 

We Need A Joint Enterprise Law For Dogs...

Bark n Fly day care centre told the Daily Record: “A senior member of the Bark n Fly team immediately took Lani to their vets where she was examined. Sadly, there was nothing they were able to do, confirming Lani had sustained a single fatal puncture wound through her intercostal muscles.

“As there had been no audible evidence of altercation between any of the four dogs in the field, it was accepted that there was no requirement to report the incident as one of the brutal or aggressive behaviour of any of the other dogs.

“All parties agreed that it was a tragic accident. It was impossible to say which of the three other dogs had caused the accident and, as a result, inform the owner of the dog responsible.”

So, because you can't identify which of the dogs (that you claim was in the field with the dead animal at the time) killed it, it's 'Oh well, shit happens'? 

I hope the owner sues you into the ground. 

I Guess There's Some Donkeys Even A Red Rose Won't Make Palatable...

...even to your own local party!

A spokesperson for Leicester East Labour party criticised Webbe for failing to inform the CLP about the charges in advance.

“We are shocked at these developments. Since her election Claudia Webbe has chosen not to have had any dealings with the CLP. Against our express wishes she has remained an Islington councillor.

“We will support any action taken by the national party and the chief whip. The officers of the party will convene an emergency meeting to discuss these matters,” the spokesperson said.

Well, you could ask the Peterborough branch for advice, I suppose... 

The Labour MP Claudia Webbe has been suspended from the Labour party after being charged with harassment of a woman over a period of nearly two years.

The MP for Leicester East insisted she was innocent after the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said she was accused of carrying out the offence between September 2018 and April 26 this year.

Better get ready! 

 

Wait, What..?

 

*blinks* Seriously? 

Apparently so...

Dorset and Wiltshire Fire and Rescue Service (DWFRS) has created the 'Hazard House' to help educate children and families about the importance of fire prevention.

A number of fire and additional hazards have been placed around the virtual Hazard House which have been labelled with information highlighting the risk of household items, such as overloaded plug sockets, overheated laptops and candles left unattended.

It also includes real life stories from people who have experienced house fires as well as links to further resources.

What a world we now live in, eh? 

The Justice System Is More Like 'Jackanory' These Days...

Sean Sullivan, defending, suggested there had been “tension” between groups of women earlier in the night.

He said: “She does not seek to excuse her behaviour. Whatever the individual cause, she failed to deal with it properly.”

Well, that's one way of putting it, I suppose...

The court was told the attack was “out of character” as Marshall has no previous conditions. She has been dealing with mental health issues caused by a “traumatic” incident in her life.

Wait, isn't that 'seeking to excuse her behaviour', Sean? Gosh, it's like words have no real meaning for you, isn't it? 

Mr Sullivan added: “She regrets her behaviour, which is highly unlikely to occur again in future.”

Until she gets drunk and decides her Mental Health Exemption Card hasn't expired, I guess... 

The judge imposed a suspended sentence and ordered Marshall to complete 150 hours of unpaid work and ten rehabilitation sessions. Marshall was also banned from going to Anjelique Bar for two years.

Plenty of other bars she's able to go to, I suppose? 

The judge said: “Two young women were assaulted in this bar, one with her eyebrow gashed.

“They will be wondering why on earth you are not going to prison. Most people in their shoes would think the same.”

Most of the public are thinking that too! 

“This was a nasty and unpleasant attack which will leave one victim scarred for life.

“Your mental health had deteriorated because of an abusive relationship and an intensely traumatic incident when you were younger.

“That incident in your past will be worth discussing in order to address why you committed these offences.”

*sighs* 

Close, But No Cigarette...

...that's not a fallow deer!

Error In Translation..?

...or 'awareness' is really prized in Iceland?

Sunday Funnies...

Because it pays to read the whole story... 

A Dangerous Felon Is Apprehended!

The court heard that the 25-year-old Mark D'arcy-Smith was having an after work drink with a friend at the Richmal Crompton in Westmoreland Place, Bromley, on November 8, 2019, when staff brought over a plate with a single banana on it and an accompanying receipt.

When the shocked communications professional told them neither he nor his friend had ordered the item, it was explained that they had received an order via the pub's app for a single banana costing 30p to go to table number 102 - the one they were sitting at. Mr D'arcy-Smith explained he felt humiliated by the incident, which he firmly believed was racially motivated. He said: "We both looked at each other then looked at the banana. It clicked that it wasn't ours. It was clearly sent by someone who was trying to be racist."

When he next walked past the pub even the memory of what had happened left him trembling and his hands feeling shaky, he said.

Oh, harden up, Princess! 

Kincella was arrested on 17 January at his home address.While he did not deny being in the pub and admitted to ordering the banana, he insisted it was done 'for a joke' and that he did not intend for it to go anywhere other than his own table.

He was charged on April 3.

Whew! That's a long investigation.  

After the result, the victim paid tribute to the investigating officer for her efforts. He said: "Hearing the verdict felt like a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders.

“I can't thank DC Heywood and the Met enough for their support and guidance throughout."

Well, there's one satisfied customer, anyway. 

Detective Inspector Stuart Hart, head of the Safeguarding Team, added: "There was no CCTV available, and it was not a straightforward matter to identify the suspect.

“This required a painstaking investigation by my lead officer, who paid meticulous attention to minor details in order to gather the vital evidence that led to this successful result."

How difficult could it have really been to trace an order from an app on a mobile phone, FFS!? One that required bank details..?

He was fined a total of £600 and has to pay costs of £620 in addition.

I bet the investigation and trial itself cost multiple thousands more. Is this really a good way to spend public funds? 

Almost Beyond Belief...

The 23-year-old fired the gun with his hands still handcuffed behind his back hitting the veteran officer allegedly several times in the heart at point-blank range.

Who was this guy, Jason Bourne?! 

In the ensuing chaos the attacker's weapon went off again, wounding him in his neck, but he remains alive in a critical condition.

Interesting. Earlier reports were of him turning the gun on himself... 

Sources said the officers failed to find the small firearm as it had been well concealed and would have been recovered only with an intimate strip search and body cavity check.

Eeeewww! 

The suspect is believed to be autistic and of Sri Lankan origin, according to The Times.

Also on the 'Prevent' programme. Isn't it time we let their countries of origin do the preventing? 

And it's a pity we can't deport this bitch somewhere: 

She deleted her account. She should be defrocked.

It's Always The Quiet Ones, Isn't It?

And when it's not them, it's the former government employees: 

The 54-year-old, who had a PhD in neuroscience and said he previously worked at Government facility Porton Down, suffered from bipolar affective disorder, the court was told.

But are we sure he was crazy? 

He told police he had also written a letter to Boris Johnson criticising his attitude to Russia...

Hmmm, not convinced. 

...and a letter to then Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in which he praised him.

Ah. OK then. 

Mark Pritchard, defending, said Doyle had been living with agoraphobia since 2013 following the death of a friend.

How'd he get out to the post office then? 

Joseph Allman, prosecuting, said when police raided Doyle's home in Fir Street they found more than 245,000 indecent images of children on a laptop.

*speechless* 

Now, What Sort Of Job Doesn't Require A Good Name..?

Naomi Jayne Buckland, 22, acted out of ‘misguided loyalty’ to her brother Nathan, a court heard.

He was in custody accused of killing a man outside a pub in Newton Aycliffe, County Durham, in September 2018.

And she was....a police recruit. With access to the force's computer system. You can see where this is going, can't you?

Sam Faulks, prosecuting, told Durham Crown Court she was asked to check if an inmate in the jail where her brother, then 25, was held in custody was an undercover police officer.

In a phone call to her brother, which was recorded, she said the inmate was not an officer.

Hopefully the 'recorded' bit means Professional Standards could see where it was going too... 

Mark Styles, defending, said: ‘If there was a case of misguided loyalty to a family member, this was it. As a result she lost her job and good name.’

Yes, those are called consequences. Luckily for her, she possesses the magic Get Out Of Jail Free card her brother lacked: 

Buckland, of Newton Aycliffe, admitted unauthorised computer access and was sentenced to 16 months in jail, suspended for two years.

Well, what can she do now, as an untrustworthy almost-jailbird? Who'd employ her? 

Mr Styles said Buckland is now planning to re-train as a mental health nurse.

*gulps* 

Maybe You Shouldn't Act So Much Like One, Then?

When Cashley was brought in on a warrant two weeks later, a furious Judge Burgess told him: 'I am not some glorified social worker, I am a Crown Court judge. I am not here to be touchy feely forever and a day.

'You may think this is all stuff and nonsense from some windbag judge sitting here in a silly cloak, but it is not. Frankly, I think you have been taking the mick since I imposed this Order on you.'

Well, yes, he clearly was. So...how did you deal with it? 

Giving Cashley a final chance, Judge Burgess spared him jail once again...

*sighs* 

...but by January this year the teenager was back again, having shown shown 'flagrant disregard' for the youth order.

Calling the breaches 'concerning and upsetting', Judge Burgess detained Cashley in a young offender's institute for four months.

And did that teach him a valuable lesson? Reader, it did not. So, over to another judge who deal with him as he des...

Oh, FFS! 

Judge Norton, before sentencing the boy, pleaded with him to change his ways, saying: 'You are young and although from all that has been placed before me, you seem to want to go down the path of offending, there are still people out there who have faith in you and your ability to succeed in life. Take that support'.

Cashley, who had laughed and smirked while sitting at the video link booth in HMP Feltham, promised he would take the help on offer.

Yeah, I'm sure that'll happen. 

Unsurprisingly, The Answer Was 'You Must Be Joking, Right?'...

Wednesday’s demonstrations come in response to the long-awaited decision by a grand jury about whether the officers involved in the death of Taylor, who was shot in her apartment in Lousiville on 13 March by white police officers who were serving a so-called “no-knock” warrant”, would be punished.

I mean, was it ever in doubt that police who were fired upon by a man they were trying to arrest were entitled to return fire?

Ben Crump, a lawyer for Taylor’s family, denounced the decision as “outrageous and offensive”, and protesters shouting, “No justice, no peace!” immediately took to the streets following the news.

So in protesting the accidental (but fairly unsurprising) death of a woman who chose poorly when looking for someone to shack up with, of course the professional agitators decide to riot and shoot police officers. 

Everyone knows that makes things better, right?  

Biden and his running mate, Kamala Harris, also called for police reforms in the wake of Wednesday’s decision, saying the country should start by addressing excessive force, banning chokeholds and overhauling no-knock warrants.

Well, there you have it. The way to prevent black criminals from dying at the hands of the police (which is all these people care about, the fact they die at a far greater rate at the hands of their fellow criminals isn't worth mentioning) is to give up on fighting crime. What a vote winner! 

I Have 'No Doubt In My Mind' Too...

Having suffered 16 wounds, she later underwent three hours of surgery to repair lacerations to her front temple, shoulder and arm.

McGrath was questioned at the scene by police, who took both him and the dog back to his partner's house.

The following day officers checked to see if he had handed over the animal to be humanely destroyed, but McGrath told them he had killed the dog himself.

Oh, really? Why? 

The court heard he had received death threats and was under pressure to dispose of the dog, but did not have the money to take the animal to a vet to be euthanised.

Well, maybe the police should have seized it and ensured it was destroyed then? 

I mean, really, the honour system for a dangerous dog? What are they putting in the Guinness over there? 

No remains of the dog were found when police searched McGrath's home, but during interviews he claimed to (sic) killed the animal at a dump near Ligoniel.

"He admitted killing the dog by hitting it over the crown of the head with a hammer twice, and then putting its remains in a wheelie bin, covering it with copper wire and petrol, and setting the remains and the tools he used on fire," a prosecution barrister said.

But no evidence of dog remains or the burnt bins were found during further searches of the dump area either.

Hmmm.... 

The judge said it was a "terrible case" in which a girl had sustained "lasting injury" and a dog was treated in an "appalling" manner.

"I have no doubt in my mind that unnecessary suffering was caused to that animal."

He sentencing McGrath to four months in prison but that term is now subject to appeal.

I wonder where the animal is now? It's not over the Rainbow Bridge, is it? 

UK 'Justice' - Late And Worthless...

Mr McSkimming was driving at 59mph in a 40mph zone when he collided with keen cyclist Anthony Satterthwaite, 51.

He was travelling almost 20mph over the speed limit on Eastcote Lane, Solihull, West Midlands, when he lost control on a bend.

His car hit a tree and spun across the road and hit Mr Satterthwaite who was cycling in the opposite direction.

This was Christmas 2018. It's now Autumn 2020. What the hell took so long? 

McSkimming, who lives in £485,000 house in Knowle, West Midlands, admitted causing death by careless driving at Birmingham Crown Court.

Yesterday he was sentenced to six months in prison, suspended for two years, and was ordered to carry out 250 hours community service and banned from driving for two years.

Well, that'll teach him... 

Thank God She Isn't In CID...

...yet! 

PC Scudder ... denied that more information on his past, such as violent incidents and the fact his mental condition could deteriorate very quickly, would have made a difference to how they dealt with Kevin.

She earlier said that “all the information is better” but that “it doesn’t necessarily have an overall impact on the decision that is made, given what officers are presented with at that time”.

“We can’t judge people based on the past. We have to make a decision based on what is presented to us at that time.

“For example, if someone had been arrested for robbery 18 times, that doesn’t mean that he’s committed that robbery at that time,” she said.

Errr, well, no. But it does mean that, should you be scouring the streets for a robbery suspect, he'd be firmly at the top of your list, and worth stopping and questioning. Just as a mentally ill patient who has a history of decompensating rapidly should be considered more of a risk.

What are they teaching them at Hendon these days? 

The coroner asked PC Scudder if the “tragic incident” had made any difference to how she “personally” conducts herself. Tearfully, the officer said: “This particular situation with Mr Clarke is incredibly heartbreaking.

“It’s something that I think about every single day.”

PC Scudder took a break after becoming upset.

*rolls eyes* 

On return she said: “In a situation like this, I believe it would be recommended to take a staff member with us at that time when trying to communicate with Mr Clarke.

“In my eyes, they are the professionals, and they maybe would be able to ask questions […] that may have changed the outcome of the situation.”

She said she would “pause and give people the opportunity to talk” and she would “ask more questions and not have the view that the [health professionals] would tell me what’s necessary”.

You're a police officer, and you think people will always volunteer information without the need for probing and questioning? Jeez! No wonder you cry when you can't get your own way... 

Found! Some Real Tories!

This must be the scoop of the century! It's like finding Bigfoot riding Shergar... 

Tories in the European Research Group and “Common Sense Group” of right-leaning MPs said most of their colleagues would not take part.

“I would really rather gouge my eyes out with a blunt stick than sit through that Marxist, snake oil crap,” said one.

Real Tories! Well I never... 

And they are getting up the noses of all the right people for once:

Simon Woolley, a crossbench peer who founded Operation Black Vote and formerly chaired the government race disparity unit’s advisory group, said he was “appalled”...

Good! 

Woolley called on party leaders to make the training mandatory for their MPs, warning that politicians who pushed back on it were demonstrating their “inability to move to the 21st century”.

Unlike the race hustlers constantly banging on and on about slavery, eh, Simon? 

Note They Are Never Called 'Fido' Or 'Rover'...

...although 'Teddy' is clearly the exception that proves the rule!

A six-year-old boy is lucky to be alive after he was attacked by the family's previously 'loveable' pet dog.

Camdon Bozell suffered life-changing injuries when he was mauled by pet dog, Chaos, while his mum Tristin Lent, 29, was at work.

Hmmm, is there a bit of a clue in the name as to what sort of 'pet' this really was?

Mum-of-two, Tristin, said: “When I got to the hospital, I feared the worst.

“They wouldn’t let me see Camdon at first and then a nurse came out and said ‘good news he’s breathing on his own’ and I freaked out – I thought why wouldn’t he be?

“If the dog had attacked him an inch or two below and got Camdon’s throat, my son would be dead.”

So, about the 'formerly loveable pooch' with the strange name? 

“He was called Chaos, but that name did not suit his temperament at all.”

Really? Wait, what sort of breed are we talking about here? 

The five year old pit bull was ordered to be put down by police...

Ah. Isn't it about time someone banned anyone with children from owning one of these things? 

Translation: "He's An Idiot Who Tweets What He Thinks You Want To Hear..."

Justice Secretary Humza Yousaf was slammed over a tweet mourning slain gangland figure Omer Sadiq - which was later deleted.

The Nats minister offered his condolences to the murdered hood, 32, in a bizarre tweet hours after the savage knife attack in Glasgow on Tuesday afternoon.

Mr Yousaf later wrote: “Dreadfully sad news. My thoughts are with the young man’s family, friends and local community.”

The post was later deleted - and the politician was sent scores of messages urging him to apologise amid a huge online backlash.

"...just like any other politician, actually." 

A Scottish Government spokesperson said: “Mr Yousaf was responding to the incident that took place in his constituency, as the local MSP, and was not aware of the man who was fatally stabbed, or his background, when he initially posted.”

Fancy expecting a politician to look carefully at what he's saying to the voters! 

Never Argue With A London Cabbie...

 

...it won't end well!

"That's Right, Isn't It, Editor..?"

 

"Editor...?"

Sunday Funnies...

'Sorry' doesn't really help, No 5...

Utter Cowardice...

Approaching media created by problematic figures is always a messy prospect, but Legacy finds itself in a particularly complex place.

'Legacy' being the latest addition to the JK Rowling empire, a RPG based in the Hogwarts universe. 

And we know what everyone a tiny minority of overly-vocal lunatics thinks about JK Rowling, don't we, Reader? 

The people who made it really want you to know that the woman behind one of the most popular fantasy franchises on the planet had nothing to do with it.

Which is cowardly and ridiculous. They should be proudly announcing that it's part of her creation. No-one who loves the books will care. The frothing lunatics who have to lie about her to carry out their deranged campaign won't buy it anyway. 

...Rowling has spent months leveraging her platform to ceaselessly espouse repeatedly debunked lies about the existence of transgender people.

Reader, she hasn't.  

She has supported fellow bigots who she claims have been “canceled” for their beliefs when it comes to transgender rights and expressed fears that “any man who believes or feels he’s a woman” might be allowed to share a bathroom with “natal girls and women.”

Reader, she has. And good on her, because everything these 'bigots' warned about has happened.  

She’s just released a book in her long-running Cormoran Strike crime series (written under the pen name Robert Galbraith) that perpetuates the stereotype that transwomen are men disguising themselves to prey on cisgender women.

Reader, she hasn't. Not is she 'Islamophobic', as the rest of the woke crowd seem to now want to level at her.  

So the question around Hogwarts Legacy has not become “Can I get this on the PlayStation 5 or Xbox Series X,” but instead “Can I support the people who made this game despite its connections to a person whose views I believe are repugnant?”

If you don't buy it, what will happen? Nothing! Millions of gamers will go ahead because they love games, or they grew up with - and loved - the 'Harry Potter' universe. That's how insignificant your little tantrums are...

The books, your well-read copies that she built her power from, are in the past. You can still love them, love what they meant to you, and continue to do so while acknowledging Rowling’s actions in the present are abhorrent. But the Fantastic Beasts saga, merchandise, and now Hogwarts Legacy are the series’ future—one made in the shadow of the figure Rowling has become. No matter how you justify engaging with that, she will still profit. No matter how distant her reach.

Decrying someone who created a fictional world you used to love because her views on real life don't gel with yours is so utterly bonkers and childish that it beggars belief that these are supposed adults working for online publications. 

Because Social Workers Have A Better Reputation For Competence?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt could be the model of a modern movie star...

Hmmm, this is in the 'Guardian', so....OK!  

...it’s the politics that get Gordon-Levitt really animated. Project Power was mostly shot in 2018, before the killing of George Floyd and the mass Black Lives Matter protests in the US. He has clearly anticipated the issue: “It means something different to be playing a police officer now than it did in 2018. But, on the other hand, it’s nothing new at all. These same exact tragedies have been happening my entire life.”

Have they really? 

He talks at length about the beating of Rodney King in Los Angeles in 1991 and the US’s long history of racial injustice. He voices his support for Black Lives Matter and the principle of defunding the police, but also his appreciation for the hard work that most police officers do.

Funny how all these luvvies can speak chapter and verse about the beating of Rodney King, but I bet if you asked them if they remembered the beating of Reginald Denny, they'd look blank... 

“There are these situations when individuals in the police force do awful, terrible, unspeakable things that they need to be held responsible for, but maybe cops are assigned to handle too wide a variety of things. Maybe in a lot of cases it would make more sense for a social worker to show up instead of a guy with a gun.”

It's a toss up who does more damage, actually! 

The Only Thing He's 'Working Towards' Is A Jail Sentence...

Stephen Robert Carter was already subject to a dispersal order and had been previously arrested for having a knife when officers were called to the train station.

The 48-year-old, of Peartree Lane, Weymouth, admitted two knife possession charges, as well as possessing heroin and crack cocaine.

Who says the disabled can't make a contribution to the world of 'work', eh? 

Mr Newman added that, because of a previous conviction for possessing a knife, these recent incidents would activate the ‘second strike’ rule.

The ‘two-strikes’ sentence means that adults convicted more than once of being in possession of a knife face a six-month prison sentence.

You just know there's a 'But...' coming, don't you, Reader? 

Patricia Sheehan, mitigating, said: “His last conviction was in 2017. He then lost his accommodation because of Covid. He has reached a point where things might pick up for him now. If he goes to prison he loses everything he is working towards.”

And...that would be what, exactly? 

Magistrates gave Carter a 18-month community order instead of sending him to prison saying: “We feel it would be unjust and inhumane to send you to prison because of your current circumstances.”

*sighs* 

It's Hard To Sum Up How Little I Care...

BBC Newsnight went an entire week without featuring a single live interview with a guest from a minority ethnic background, according to an analysis of national media output.

Cheers, Joey! 

Who wasted my precious time with this 'news'..?

...according to a survey conducted by the Women in Journalism group...

Ah.  

Some media groups, reluctant to comment publicly, acknowledged failings but pushed back on the report’s methodology, saying the survey only took into account print newspaper front pages rather than websites, and was selective in its analysis of the television and radio schedules. Women in Journalism said it was restricted in its media monitoring ability due to the limited funding available for such projects.

I'm astounded anyone wasted money on this worthless 'research'... 

"You've Only Got Yourself To Blame For That Rape, Love..."

A two-week police operation aimed at cutting smash-and-grab thefts from cars and vans in Bradford city centre uncovered almost 60 owners who were “asking for trouble.”

Operation Sawnhaven, which was backed by the Bradford Business Improvement District (BID) and City Centre Beat (CCB) – the city’s business crime reduction partnership – leafleted 2,140 vehicles warning the owners of the dangers of leaving valuables in sight.

PC Dan Stocks, who led the City Neighbourhood Police Team in the operation, said: “We found 59 vehicles with property left on display – that’s 59 potential crimes just waiting to happen.

“Vehicle owners who behave in this careless manner are just asking for trouble and they have only themselves to blame if they suffer loss and damage as a result of their inaction.”

"...I mean, there you were, in your low-cut top and short skirt. Just asking for it, weren't you? Run along now." 

The State As Accomplice...

A huge manhunt for a terror suspect who removed his ankle tag and vanished was the reason police shut down the Port of Dover yesterday and searched every vehicle in case he was trying to flee Britain.

Huge 10-hour tailbacks were caused and frustrations grew as officers carried out in-depth searches for the suspect.

Seems as if a terrorism suspect can cause almost as much disruption to society when under the nominal 'control' of the state as when running free, eh? Still, at least the police finally collared their m...

Oh...

It wasn't until the man - who cannot be named for legal reasons - handed himself back in to police that the emergency was stood down.

*sighs* 

A source told The Sun: 'Fortunately, he was on the run for a short period and there was no danger to the public.

'When someone on a TPim absconds, an all-ports alert is automatically triggered. These are tough measures imposed for a reason.'

Maybe those measures shouldn't be able to cause every bit as much panic and economic disruption as a bomb or stabbing attack? Just a thought... 

Yes, It's A Real Rarity, Isn't It?

Costume dramas are one of British film and television’s biggest exports, yet they remain an overwhelmingly white genre (you can count the notable exceptions, like the BBC’s recent adaptation of A Suitable Boy and Armando Iannucci’s ‘colourblind’ David Copperfield, on the fingers of one hand).

“Period drama tends not to have so much diversity, so to have this one character sneak into a predominantly white cast was really thrilling,” Tan says. “Vera’s this complex, enigmatic character who stands up for the things that she believes in — she’s a wonderful example of a three-dimensional female character. In a period drama, it’s rare to find someone like that from an East Asian background.”

So, where's this particular costume drama set? 

Singapore.

Little Tip For South Yorkshire Police...

                               

...they're easier to load in the van if they are dead weight. If you know what I mean. 

Assuming your armed fellas are better shots than the ones in the neighbouring farce, that is!

The neighbour said that they didn't know the breed of the dog but that it was 'very big' and 'not something you'd want around small children'.

They also said that the dog had a habit of running into other people's gardens.

And now it gets to languish in police kennels until charges are brought. If they ever are. And of course, the chavshrine is building up outside the house, which (as ever with these stories) looks like the sort of place you'd wipe your feet after leaving:

 Florists and bloon-sellers will make more of a killing than Rover!

Harping On And On And On...

Southend's homeless charity is spearheading a new campaign pressing for an end to people sleeping rough on the streets.

It can only be...yes, you guessed it!

Harp has launched It’s Time, an initiative aimed at halting the number of people living on Southend’s streets.

How? 

Jackie Bliss, Harp’s chief executive, is eager to win Government backing for the charity’s efforts.

The charity is inviting people in the constituencies of Southend West and Rochford and Southend East to sign a letter to Sir David Amess and James Duddridge, asking the MPs to use their influence at national level to make a real, lasting impact on homelessness.

OK, how, exactly? There's nothing in here to say just exactly what 'the government' is supposed to do...

She added: “A return to pre-Covid levels of homelessness is unthinkable.”

Well, you surely don't expect them to be housed in hotels at taxpayer expense forever. Do you? 

Try This In Kenosha, Chum...

The two civil enforcement officers had issued a ticket on a vehicle which was parked dangerously on double yellow lines outside Purfleet Primary School during the morning rush. Rodall Misuri, who’s partner owned the car, threated (sic) the officers as they went to issue the ticket before attacking them.

He punched one of the victims, then knocked him to floor causing him to hit his head. He then continued to attack him while he was on the floor, stamping on his head and punching him.

Members of the public stepped in to try and stop the assault but Misuri struck another of the officers, punching him unconscious.

Where's Kyle Rittenhouse when you need him? 

Misuri was then restrained again by members of the public before eventually driving away from the scene.

People who are properly 'restrained' aren't able to flee the scene of the crime, are they? 

Misuri, 31, of Fothergill Close, London E13 was arrested the following day and charged with causing grievous and actual bodily harm with intent and criminal damage.

At Basildon Crown Court on Monday he admitted the charges and was jailed for a total of two years and four months.

Bet he won't serve more than half of that... 

Ah, Diddums!

NHS bosses have sent a letter to GPs to remind them to offer face-to-face appointments where necessary, sparking an angry response from professional bodies...

Oh..?  

...who say such comments risk insulting hard-working doctors.

Get with it! Employers send out these sort of communications all the time, reminding employees of their responsibilities, from making sure the office fridge is cleaned to reinforcing the wearing of hard hats on site. 

If we all got the arse and started bleating about how we weren't the ones that left that six day old Pot Noodle in there, or ended up in casualty for an afternoon when a brick fell on our heads, we'd never get any work done! 

“We know that the vast majority of practices have made significant efforts to remain accessible to patients through the pandemic, and to keep staff and patients safe,” the letter states. But, it adds: “It is important that no practice suggests in their communication that the practice is closed or that the practice is not offering the option of face-to-face appointments.”

Which...quite a lot of practices undoubtedly have done! As their 'customers' (and we all know why that's in inverted commas) will tell you. 

My mother needed an appointment, and when I made it for her I was given no choice but a phone appointment. No suggestion whatsoever that there was any other option. 

Prof Martin Marshall, the chair of the Royal College of GPs, said ... “Any implication that they have not been doing their job properly is an insult to GPs and their teams who have worked throughout the pandemic, continued delivering the vast majority of patient care in the NHS, and face an incredibly difficult winter ahead.”

Not as difficult a winter as you lazy, work-shy bastards would face if they ever made me Health Minister, chum! 

Them's Fightin' Words...?

What happened to 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'? Or...is it OK now that a man is physically assaulted for mere words? 

She said the other bus passengers advised the group leave the scene before the police arrived.

‘Everybody on the bus suggested us leaving. They all already know how the system is. We would have been arrested,’ she explained.

Yes, and you'd have deserved to be - all of you! Him for a public order offence and the violent little shits who assaulted him for ABH...

Of course, vile 'anti racism' group Tell Mama posted it without comment on their Twitter feed, leaving the approving comments of their followers up without interference: 

 

 What he 'deserved' should be meted out by the forces of law and order. Or we are nothing but a banana republic.

"Which Preposition Is Better, Editor?"

 "Stick 'em both in, son, we'll decide before we hit 'publish'...!"

Rule Of Six - Twitter Reaction

I do love Twitter (though I'm currently on another seven day timeout for doubleplusungood wrongthink) and it's reaction to Blendering Boris and his 'Rule of Six', the latest covidbollocks, was swift and merciless:

 

Take a bow!

Sunday Funnies...

Who needs an agent..?

Good Intentions Lead To...?

Landen Brett went to Chessington World of Adventures with his family and friend to celebrate turning 12.

The amputee from the Dyke Road area of Hove was looking forward to going on the Vampire ride at the park.

But after joining the long queue and preparing to join the ride, Landen and his family were left “mortified” in front of hundreds of onlookers when staff told him he could not get on.

Wait, surely this was pointed out to them before they joined the queue?

His mother Michelle Brett said it was embarrassing for Landen, who had to have his leg amputated after complications at birth.

She said: “We paid on the gate and weren’t told about any possible restrictions for those with disabilities or amputations.

“We have been to Disneyland Paris where we were told about ride restrictions in advance.”

As you would expect any good company to do. It's only common sense, as well as good business practice. This shouldn't have happened. 

So...why did it? 

The company said: “The health and safety of our guests is always our priority and we have a number of requirements in place to allow our guests with disabilities and additional needs to enjoy our rides and attractions.

"We welcome many guests with disabilities, however as not all disabilities are visible, our team does not advise guests of ride restrictions on entry to the resort unless asked.”

And common sense goes right out the window. 

In an effort to assuage the delicate sensibilities of snowflakes and attempt to head off the rabid disability activists, staff are advised - no, instructed - to ignore what's staring them in the face. And let a little boy with an already horrid start at life feel like a failure and a burden instead.

If there's a story that better sums up the debased state of British business in 2020, I've yet to see it.

I Don't Think This Is What Marvin Gaye Meant...

“She is walking the streets when she goes missing from home. The local Asian males got to know, through the grapevine, that this child would perform oral sex in return for alcohol, drugs and cigarettes.”

In other words, these 'Asian' (read, overwhelmingly Pakistani in origin) males spread the word amongst other males of their debased 'community', secure in the knowledge that their words would never fall onto the ears of anyone who would go to the police with this knowledge.

Think on that, the next time some 'Guardian'-reading muesli-chewer states that tarring all members of a 'community' with the same brush is 'racist'... 

The case was not proceeded with at the time due to the unwillingness of the girl to pursue the complaint, although semen was found on her clothing. It was later matched to Suman by police investigating him for the subsequent rape of a boy.

Words fail me.... 

Never Forget...

19 years ago today...

Normal service resumes tomorrow.

No, Pretty Sure They Don't...

I think being a shameless publicity whore who cannot live without seeing your name in the papers probably is a mental disorder though...

An asexual person is someone who "does not experience sexual attraction,” the Asexual Visibility and Education Network outlines, emphasising the difference between asexuality and celibacy, which is a “choice to abstain from sexual activity”.

She might not experience sexual attraction, but a camera lens is clearly a lamp to her moth... 

Does she have sexual desire, though?

‘Yes, but not towards other people. Let’s just say asexual people still have libidos and functioning bodies… would orgasming feel better if someone else was involved? No.

So she's just a useless w...

No, no, this is a family blog!

'Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes' Indeed...

A prison diversity officer had an 'inappropriate' relationship with an inmate at a London prison and failed to report he had a phone with him, a court heard today.

Probably some naive young thing who had her head turned by the glamour of a bad boy, eh? 

Former HMP Wormwood Scrubs officer Pamela Belonwu, 51, entered into the six month 'inappropriate' relationship with inmate Clifton Thomas while he was serving time at the Category 2 prison in White City, Isleworth Crown Court heard.

Oh... 

Belonwu has had managerial roles within the NHS and charity sector.

I wonder what her qualifications were to be hired by all those public sector employers. It's a mystery. 

And How Did You Get To Granada, Barbara?

A British woman living in Spain who helped 11 Syrian asylum seekers who were left homeless and hungry on the streets of Madrid after being forcibly removed from the UK has said she is ashamed of the UK government’s behaviour.

...

“As a UK citizen I am ashamed that our government would leave asylum seekers on the streets with absolutely no support. As I see it the only difference between me and this group of people is luck. ”

Apart from the fact that you legally flew into Granada airport waving a passport and clutching a job offer, you mean? 

Say, what do you do there, anyway?

...an adviser to corporate companies about social responsibility, who is based in Granada...

Perhaps they might want to reconsider hiring you. You're more of a parasite than any economic refugee. 

What Happened To Being Tough On Knife Crime?

Carl Clarke attempted to enter Brooklyn Mixer in Seel Street with a blade in his jacket, but was searched by door staff.

When the weapon was spotted, he left and ditched it in a car park, then returned and was let in, only to be arrested by police.

The 26-year-old denied possessing a bladed article and was due to stand trial last December, but instead went on the run.

As you do...

At his trial, Clarke was set to deny possessing a bladed article on the grounds his knife was shorter than the minimum required for the offence.

This month prosecutors accepted his guilty plea to the alternative charge of possessing an offensive weapon, which covers shorter knives, and breach of bail.

Looking at his record - yes, of course he has a record! - it's amazing he was granted bail: 

Clarke, of Beechtree Road, Wavertree, has four convictions for three offences, including affray and breach of bail in 2015, when he was jailed for 13 months.

*sighs* 

Judge Stuart Driver, QC, said: "The aggravating features are the circumstances in which you had the knife, attempting to get into a club in the early hours of the morning in Liverpool city centre, knowing that this would be premises with lots of young people in, many of whom would have been drinking and that's clearly a volatile situation.

"The second aggravating feature is your record, not a long record, but in the past you have served imprisonment for violence.

"In mitigation there has been a substantial delay, though you contributed to that yourself by being at large."

So...how is that 'mitigation', you bewigged idiot!?

Judge Driver handed Clarke eight months in prison, suspended for 12 months, a 10-day Rehabilitation Activity Requirement, Thinking Skills Programme and 70 hours of unpaid work.

He warned: "It's highly likely if I see you again, you will go into custody for eight months."

It's highly likely you'll see him again. Hopefully, it'll be in a dark alley one night. 

Life Must Be Absolutely Exhausting For People Like Sandi Toksvig...

Isn’t another bugbear of yours that older women get ignored in restaurants?

Yes, it doesn’t matter how famous you are. Sheila Hancock and I once nearly starved to death in a west London restaurant. It’s part of the invisibility of women in the public sphere. There are micro-aggressions like that but there’s also micro-homophobia. If my wife and I go out to dinner, inevitably someone will come over and say: “What are you two girls doing on your own?”

Most people would say 'Well, that's shit service, won't come here again' and 'Oh, he's just engaging us in a conversational gambit'...

But no. It's all another sign, to people like her, that the whole world hates and fears her. And is conspiring to make her miserable. 

Fatal Hesitation...

The force is facing criticism of its response to the attacks, including why the attacker was allowed to wander the city for as long as he did. The Labour MP for Perry Barr, Khalid Mahmood, asked why the suspect had “two hours to run around the city centre” despite the high number of CCTV cameras. “Where was the monitoring? Both the public and police were put at further risk.”

It's a fair question. As the first of the reports were coming in, people were begging for a description. As you would expect. They needed to know who to potentially be wary of.

The West Midlands police and crime commissioner, David Jamieson, defended the force, saying it had had to trawl through thousands of hours of CCTV footage.

He told Times Radio: “They had to find significant quality of pictures to be able to put out so people could give some sort of recognition. So that did take time.

“What we had initially in the first few hours was a very broad description of the person, but of course thousands of people in Birmingham look like that, it’s not very helpful putting out that rather broad description, we need to have something more specific.”

Really? That's your excuse? You needed a picture for the media? It would have been just terrible if people had avoided young black men in the city centre, or given them a wary glance or two? 

More terrible than having other people stabbed in the meantime?

It beggars belief but it seems our emasculated police force really does put political correctness above public safety. And here's the proof.  

Why Do We Always Lag Behind The US?

US Government: "That's enough of that, thanks!"

 UK Government: "Here's some more taxpayer cash to tell us how awful we are":

Parliament has paid Challenge Consultancy £7,000 to design a course on ‘unconscious bias’ for MPs. In total the company, which has also trained BBC staff, has raked in nearly £800,000 from Parliament for conduct lessons in what one MP last night called ‘an absurd waste of taxpayers’ money’.

An outline of the training leaked to The Mail on Sunday says MPs will be schooled on words they should avoid and woke-friendly history as part of the training.

How successful have they been elsewhere? 

The firm boasted that previous clients who received similar training include ‘people managers at the BBC’, Bafta and Oscar judges.

If Boris lacks the balls to kick this into touch, I'm sure Cummings doesn't. What gives? 

Why Should The Police Take More Care Than Her Family?

Her older brother, Julius, 21, said Dada regularly threatened her with violence if she went to police.

One time, Julius said he contacted police after Dada threatened to kill his girlfriend because he suspected she had been talking to other boys.

'She told me in [Romanian] not to saying anything because he had a machete in his trousers,' he recalled.

Julius said Dada was a psychopath whose controlling behaviour regularly led to violence, including when he threw his girlfriend out of his flat naked and forced her to get a taxi home.

This appears to have gone on quite a while. Did her family do nothing? Did they originally not query their 17 year old daughter hooking up with a street thug? 

Never mind, though. The real villains of the piece are the ones who didn't fill in the paperwork correctly... 

The two Metropolitan Police constables will face claims that their performance was grossly incompetent in a two-day hearing beginning on September 8. It is claimed that, on June 23 2018, at an address in Forest Hill and at Lewisham police station, both in south-east London, they:

• Failed to acknowledge a member of the public was reporting criminal allegations of harassment and offences under the Public Order Act;
• Failed to take positive action as a result of that allegation;
• Failed to complete risk assessments relating to a vulnerable victim of domestic abuse;
• Failed to safeguard a child (Miss Makunova) in failing to complete a report for a database containing details of minors who have had contact with police.

PC Dennis is also accused of providing false and misleading information on a crime report. It is claimed the officer wrongly recorded that Miss Makunova did not want to make a statement when she had not been asked to do so; wrongly stated that a risk assessment form had been completed; and incorrectly said that she had refused to answer some questions.

I can't really blame them for not caring. No-one else seems to have... 

'...Except When They Don't.'

*'Guardian' editor shakes fist at story linking software* 

Freudian Slip, Piers?

I can't think what else it could be...

Sunday Funnies...

Sometimes, serendipity wins...

A Drain On Our Society...

Saaba Mahmood, 36, pocketed state benefit handouts on behalf of her aunt and uncle over a five year period - even though she knew they were living in their native Pakistan.

But when she was caught, shameless Mahmood, of Heald Green near Stockport, Greater Manchester said she did not realise she was unable to claim on behalf of relatives who lived abroad.

She also claimed she 'lacked skills in understanding how to live in society as a responsible adult' and added that she did not realise her offences were not 'victimless crimes.'

Naturally, she got a suspended sentence. And is set to soak up further taxpayer money: 

She will also now take part in a 15-day offenders programme estimated to cost £1,500.

We are continually harangued about the supposed 'benefits' of diversity, so let's look at the excuses offered by her lawyer to drill down to the benefits of having this Third World parasite here in the UK, shall we?  

At Thursday's hearing in mitigation defence lawyer Isobel Thomas said: 'Immediate custody will have a significant harmful impact on others. She has eight children aged between one and 13 who have to go into foster care as her husband has schizophrenia and is unable to care for them.

'Her youngest two children are very close to her and sleep by her. One of her daughters has been assaulted in the past and appeared as a witness at a Leeds Crown Court trial. She is nervous of men and other people.

'Her husband gets very distressed when she isn't there and may have to go to hospital if she were sent to prison. She is a carer for her aunt who has dementia, hepatitis C and kidney failure.

'She has never troubled the courts before and no longer claims benefits. She would comply with all requirements of a suspended sentence.'

*stunned silence* 

It's The Footnotes That Give The Game Away...

According to a post-mortem examination report seen by the Rochester-based Democrat and Chronicle newspaper, Mr Prude's death was a homicide caused by "complications of asphyxia in the setting of physical restraint".

Oh, here we go again, eh? 

Police body camera footage obtained through a public records request shows Mr Prude, who had been running naked through the streets in a light snow before police arrived, lying unarmed as officers restrain him on the ground.

Hmmm. Odd behaviour, isn't it? 

Mr Prude's brother, Joe, called police in Rochester, New York, on 23 March as his sibling was suffering from acute mental health problems.

Ah!  

Mr Prude told officers he was infected with coronavirus, and they placed a "spit hood" over his head, which is meant to protect police from suspects' saliva.

Wait... 

The report also listed PCP, a strong hallucinogenic drug, as a complication.

What's the world coming to when a black man in America can't take horse tranquilizers, run naked in the snow and spit at police trying to restrain him to take him to a mental health facility?

Stereotypes Exist For A Reason...

Scarlett, who is considering taking legal action following her dismissal, said: “I can only assume I got racially stereotyped as being the angry person in this situation even though I was the victim of something. I also got told by colleagues my manager said I got fired for being divisive when actually I got along with the vast majority of people.”

Just 'the vast majority', eh? What about the others? 

...a number of colleagues complained and claimed they felt pressured into expressing support for BLM by Scarlett.

Ah.  

She had burst into tears and fallen to the floor and, when the manager came to ask what was going on, Scarlett said she did not want to speak to her.

Because that works, right? HR always recommend hysterics during discipline interviews... 

Scarlett was among 50 young black Britons interviewed by the Guardian following anti-racism protests this summer.

Well, let's take a look at what she had to say then, shall we? 

I was always quite angry at school. I always felt anxious and didn’t feel like I belonged. That’s not only to do with race but also my queerness as well.

You really couldn't make it up, could you? 

Wishful Thinking...

'Any sentence handed out would have seemed unjust to us, there is no true justice for taking a life, however the sentences given seem extremely lenient and we as a family feel it does not reflect the severity of the crime.

'I just hope the sentences imposed will serve as a deterrent to others, it may just stop some other cowards from taking a knife out tonight and destroying somebody's else's life, as well as their own, because these senseless killings really do have to stop.'

Why would a 16 year old, whose name we will never know, be deterred by a 13 year minimum sentence we all know he won't serve in full? 

A Once-In-A-Lifetime Event...

A pony-and-trap race was stopped in its tracks by Essex Police officers.

Officers were deployed to Thurrock and Brentwood on Saturday morning following reports of a race set to take place.

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles..! 

A spokesman for Essex Police confirmed officers were called out on Saturday to prevent an event from taking place.

He said: "We have received information relating to pony and trap racing in locations in the Brentwood and Thurrock areas.

"Officers have been working to disrupt this activity and prevent it from taking place."

Now keep it up! 

The Most 'Incomprehensible' Thing About This...

...is that we will now feed, clothe and tend them for the duration of their sentence:

Police who arrived at the scene reported seeing one of the pair 'using the sword in sawing motion to the neck area of the deceased as if trying to detach the head from the body'.

Mr Makepeace said Earnshaw was Tasered twice before he was arrested and officers used an incapacitant spray on the boy.

Both should have been shot dead at the scene, like the worthless animals they are... 

Judge the Honourable Mr Justice Lavender told them: 'You were both highly intoxicated when you used a samurai sword to inflict wounds on Robert Wilson, who had done no wrong.

'You each consumed a great deal of alcohol and drugs.

'You used the sword in repeated attempts to cut off his head.

'The two of you went back to him several times, not only stabbing him but kicking him and stamping on his head.

'You passed the sword between you, continuing to stab Mr Wilson as he lay dying.

'This frenzied and senseless attack on a man who was quite unable to defend himself went on for ten minutes.

'You only stopped when police arrived.

'I have watched the recording and it's a truly gruesome sight.'

Not as gruesome as the sight of these creatures still alive and untroubled by the hangman... 

"I don't know why he was naked but I felt that was very wrong."

Margarida Lopes, 50, said she had seen the victim running through the corridors of her building during the incident.

She said: 'They really jump across the balconies here, from above and over the brick walls. They used to do that some years ago.

'The thing that shocked me was that he was completely naked and nobody was thinking about his dignity.'

'Dignity' isn't a word usually associated with these communities, is it? Perhaps that's why they rarely seem to rise above the level of animals... 

Police said that a 26-year-old man with stab injuries was found near the scene and was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to murder but has since been released and remains in hospital but his injuries are not believed to be life-threatening.

A 19-year-old man has since been arrested on suspicion of murder and GBH has been released on bail.

Detective Chief Inspector Richard Vandenbergh has urged any witnesses to come forward, especially those who may have video or dash cam footage.

I'm sure if they do, their first port of call will be social media. Not the police.  

So, The Truth Is No Longer A Defence..?

Delia Bushell, 48, tendered her resignation on Sunday after independent barrister Jack Mitchell found evidence to support a number of the allegations of misconduct against her - including bullying, racist comments and sharing offensive materials.

Hmmm. Such as?

It has now emerged that Bushell allegedly cited US activist Candace Owens who said George Floyd was a criminal.

Which he undoubtedly was. Just as Jacob Blake was. Surely that's not in doubt?

It's Certainly 'Broken' And 'Deeply Inhumane', Nicola...

...but not for the reasons you are claiming. And not to the people you might think, either.

After growing up in privilege, Ms Baguma decided to make the move to Britain to find 'greener pastures' after she found it difficult to find a good job, her brother said. She had been in Scotland for 14 years.

Details of her life emerged as Scottish leader Nicola Sturgeon blamed Ms Baguma's death on Britain's asylum system, calling it 'broken' and 'deeply inhumane'.

A system that allows a patently false claim for asylum from someone who clearly didn't need it drag on for 14 years certainly is pretty broken. But that wasn't what you meant, was it, little Miss Krankie? 

The Ugandan had lost her job in Scotland after her leave to remain expired, and was no longer allowed to work.

And back when this story first appeared, the usual suspects stood up and barked and clapped like trained seals, claiming it was a symbol of Britain's 'inhumanity', and how could she afford a flight home, etc, etc, ad infinitum.   

'None of us can believe that she died in such circumstances,' Ms Baguma's brother Eric said. 'We have money. We are not poor. If she needed something, all she had to do was ask. It is wrong for British politicians and media to say she was penniless.

'She went to a good school that not all Ugandans can afford. She had everything she needed. We are shocked. Why did she not ask us for help?'

Because she'd had 14 years here draining the taxpayer and gullible charities dry getting help she didn't need, perhaps? 

Political Lessons...

Object lesson 1: 

Object lesson 2:

Goodness me! It's almost as if sticking to your principles and not flip-flopping around reacting to - and surrendering to - every crazy woke movement around actually resonates better with your base! 

Whodathunkit?