Relax, They'll Still Be Traditionally Painful When You Step On One In Bare Feet...

People are outraged that technology is being used to improve something again....

Tom Donaldson, senior vice president at the Lego Group, claimed the new smart brick system “brings creativity, technology and storytelling together to make building worlds and stories even more engaging, and all without a screen”.

Some people just seem to want to complain about every change to childhood favourites - I understand why, as so often it turns out not to be an improvement at all, but a response to some snowflake who wants things to be more 'multicultural', but this seems to be a genuine improvement!  

The smart bricks communicate with each other and will even decide whether enough accurate laser blasts have been delivered to achieve destruction. The smart bricks also emit light and play music. At a demonstration of the new toys, a Lego executive explained that, when playing with Darth Vader’s craft, “once in a while you get The Imperial March, just to get the vibe going”.

As a kid, who wouldn't want that? What could the objection possibly be?  

...some argue new ‘Smart Play’ technology undermines the Danish construction toy’s gift for harnessing a child’s own imagination.

Well, imagination doesn't seem to be something valued in children anymore, since they might use it in ways policymakers don't like. 

I Thought We Were Short Of Court Time?

Yet we apparently have time to waste on snowflake slebs' hurt feelings:

That brings our coverage of today's sentencing hearing to an end - thank you for joining us. To recap: Former foootballer Joey Barton has been given a suspended prison sentence for creating grossly offensive social media posts aimed at broadcaster Jeremy Vine and pundits Lucy Ward and Eni Aluko.

Hardly a valid use of court time, I feel. Unless he made threats to harm them, it was something that should have been dealt with purely via the complaints procedure of the social media apps in question. So did he make death threats?  

His trial heard he had "crossed the line between free speech and a crime" with six posts on X including comparing Aluko and Ward to serial killers Fred and Rose West, and calling Vine a "bike nonce". Barton, originally of Huyton, Merseyside, was jailed for six months but told his sentence would be suspended for 18 months.

That's it!? No wonder Vine and the others went squealing to the police, that wouldn't have even been covered by the media company complaints systems - they'd have simply been told to block him and ignore him. But thatwouldn't have sat well with the egos of these people, who are used to support systems that prevent them ever hearing what people really think of them, and they have people who know just what you need to say to get the useless police on your side:

In victim impact statements read to court on Monday, Vine called Barton "a small man who feeds off the pain of others"; Ward said she was "constantly afraid"; while Aluko said she was "humiliated"

None of those things justifies arrest and trial of Barton. Even if we weren't so short of court time that a moron is considering overthrowing centuries of our judicial safeguards.. 

Just going back over the judge's sentencing comments, it is clear that Andrew Menary KC was keen to talk about where the boundaries lie in the freedom of speech debate. He told Joey Barton: "Robust debate, satire, mockery and even crude language may fall within permissible free speech.

"But when posts deliberately target individuals with vilifying comparisons to serial killers or false insinuations of paedophilia, designed to humiliate and distress, they forfeit their protection.  

As the jury concluded, your offences exemplify behaviour that is beyond this limit - amounting to a sustained campaign of online abuse that was not mere commentary but targeted, extreme and deliberately harmful."

Absolute bollocks. 

I’ve Been A Naughty Girl…

 It seems I’ve upset some pathetic snowflake with a Twitter comment, and as a punishment, I’m on the naughty step for a week…again! 

So for a week, I'm unable to chat to anyone on Twitter, or publicise my or 'Orphans...' blogposts. So much for Elon's 'freer' Twitter policies.

If You Aren't Already 'Uncomfortable' As A Grown Adult Playing This....

...then trust the march of woke practices to swoop in to save you!

Critics have slammed the newest installment of the Dungeons and Dragons rulebook for 'going woke.'

Is it just a PR stunt, though?

In the game's 2024 Player's Handbook, 'races' are now 'species' and some character traits have been separated from biological identity, according to The New York Times. 'A mountain dwarf is no longer inherently brawny and durable, a high elf no longer intelligent and dexterous by definition,' the newspaper explained.

Mustn't forget the snowflakes!  

Wizards of the Coast, the Dungeons and Dragons publisher owned by Hasbro, implemented a trend that allows players to stop the game when they feel uncomfortable.

'The signal shouldn't trigger a debate or a discussion: thank the player for being honest about their needs, set the scene right, and move on,' the book said.

How can a group play a game if one or more of them can stop complying with the rules at any point? It's like playing 'Monopoly' when someone can exempt themselves from paying when they land on a hotel!  

The foreword of the book shared online said the original game excluded and disrespected women as well as and portrayed slavery 'not as a human tragedy but as a commercial transaction.'

The buying and selling of human beings was a commecial transaction. Still is, in some parts of the world where the practice never ended. 

Of course, the snowflakes are ecstatic:

Others have embraced the changes claiming they make the game more inclusive for players. 'What they're trying to do here is put up a signal flare, to not only current players but potential future players, that this game is a safe, inclusive, thoughtful and sensitive approach to fantasy storytelling,'

Ryan Lessard, a writer and frequent Dungeons & Dragons dungeon master told the Times. 'Wanting all your players to be comfortable and have fun is good actually,' one social media user said.

But you don't want that. You don't want those happy with the way the game has been played for years to have fun, simply because you want to dictate what counts as 'fun' in the first place. 

Haven't They Seen The NHS Poster Campaigns?

A growing number of doctors across a wide range of specialties have done away with routine patient weigh-ins...

What?! Why? 

...in an effort to avoid weight shaming, but others argue this obscures a critical health metric.

Well, d'uh!  

Patients are typically weighed as a first step at a routine doctor visit. But the standard practice is increasingly falling out of favor as more and more people say this makes others feel shame about their weight, which sends them running from the doctor, even when they’re having health issues.

Just not running very fast, or very far? 

Nowadays, patients can deny consent to be weighed, even handing over business cards with bold lettering saying, ‘Please Don’t Weigh Me Unless It’s (Really) Medically Necessary. ' This is an effort from an eating disorder advocacy group to empower patients.

Doctors simply need to say 'It IS medically necessary' and point to the medical diploma on the wall.

 Christ, what the hell is wrong with the medical profession? First they pandered to the men who think they are women, and now - despite the NHS obesity guidance that surrounds them in their working lives - they are pandering to the 'fat is beautiful' nutters too?

When the next pandemic hits, who is going to listen to a word they say?

Facts Or Feelings?

Is there any evidence of this 'trauma'?

Rob DesRoches, founder of Forest Gayte Pride, said the organisation would work with Newham Council to repair or replace the flags, adding: "We feel that people have been traumatised by the repeated vandalism, which needs to be sorted out now. The healing process needs to take place."

That's a 'no' then. I assume. I mean, it's not like the BBC can be bothered to send down any reporters to stop a few people and ask them. I mean, they might say anything. Better to just regurgitate a press release from an activist group as if it was Holy Writ.

What do the police say?

Det Insp James Rush said the force was keeping an "open mind" as to whether the latest report of vandalism was actually an attempt to "cover up the previous defacement".

I'm no detective, James, but if so, wouldn't they have used rainbow paint?  

Mr DesRoches said the organisation would work with the council to expedite repairing or replacing the flags.

Does that mean you're going to pick up a paintbrush yourself, Rob? I suspect it doesn't. 

Attract Better Readers, Joanne...

The Chocolat author, 59, has suggested that all books could include trigger warnings 'as standard' in the copyright page so that readers know what to look out for before they start reading.She has said introducing a new policy would 'make a lot of sense' as trigger warnings are like 'wheelchair ramps' in that they exist 'because some people need them.'

No, not at all. You're confusing 'want' with 'need'. 

Ms Harris, whose prequel to her best-selling novel will be released next year, ran a social media poll to ask her followers if they agreed with placing trigger warnings in the copyright pages.

Ah. That's what this is about. The age old reason for something contoversial: "I've got a book to flog!" 

She added that she didn't believe the warnings should be for 'things people might disapprove of (eg: swearing, etc)', rather thing that 'make them feel unsafe.'

What sort of book can ever make you 'feel unsafe'? 

Those Dreaded Words...

'Poster Girl'. It's a red flag:

The Army’s poster girl for diversity is suing defence chiefs after allegedly suffering a catalogue of racist abuse. Corporal Kerry-Ann Knight, who has fronted Army equality and diversity campaigns, has taken her case to an industrial tribunal. In court documents she accuses senior officers of presiding over an ‘obvious culture of bullying, discrimination, racism and sexism’.

Her claims are understood to be based on her service at the Army Foundation College, where she is an instructor.

Who couldn't see that coming at Army HQ? Hopefully whoever it was doesn't man a front line watch position!

In 2019, she fronted the £1.5 million ‘Your Army Needs You’ recruitment campaign and featured prominently on posters.

In the same year, The Mail on Sunday revealed how she was racially abused by six soldiers while stationed at a UK military base in Germany. Her attackers were disciplined for using offensive words and accusing her of using her skin colour to secure promotions.

The first I could understand, but not the second. Is 'it's the truth' only a defence against libel then, and not anything else? 

Some Emotions Are More Equal Than Others...

James Martin and the production company responsible for developing his Saturday morning show have released a joint statement after the TV chef was accused of bullying crew-members on 'multiple occasions.'

Since when was understandable anger at damage to your home called 'bullying', then? 

The production company has made numerous shows with Martin and have taken responsibility for a separate incident, where his home and garden were damaged while filming in 2018. A Blue Marlin spokesperson said: 'An unfortunate incident occurred after filming James Martin's Saturday Morning in 2018 where James' home was badly damaged.

'Blue Marlin Television accepted responsibility. James was shocked by what had happened and on reflection acknowledges he responded emotionally, which he wholly regrets.

'James apologises for any offence or upset caused, as he did at the time to the crew involved.'

Why should he have to apologise for a perfectly understandable reaction, when other TV stars let their emotions leak all over the place, and are praised for it? 

And who is it that decides who is the target of the Two Minute Hate?

Remove The Plank In Your Own Eye, 'Mail'...

...before you complain about the mote in the eye of another:

This woman is not male, and her son is not a girl. So why are you pandering to their delusions?

'We Demand More Representation Of Ethnic Minorities!'

"No, not like that!" 

A police force has apologised for using an image of a black person dealing drugs on a campaign leaflet.

On Saturday, Cumbria police issued the following statement, saying their choice of image was 'poor'.

To be fair, in Cumbia, it probably isn't reflective of the situation! London, Liverpool, Birmingham, however...

It's Not 'The Fans', Though, Is It?

Wasps have asked the Rugby Football Union (RFU) and Premiership Rugby to review the wearing of Native American headdresses by Exeter Chief fans, describing it as ‘cultural appropriation’.

The Coventry-based club, which will host Exeter Chiefs this weekend, was responding to an open letter from its own fan club when it raised the issue on its website.

Well, if the fans don't like it, they could always not turn up for the match?  

Headdresses have been worn by Exeter fans since the club first rebranded as the Chiefs in 1999.

In a statement released yesterday Wasps said the practice 'doesn't align with our values'.

Who cares? Maybe it aligns with your opponent's values? But I can understand if it truly is the entire fan base that's objecting. 

It is, isn't it? 

An open letter from Wasps supporter and Alex Chinery called for action on ‘one of rugby’s most prominent examples of cultural appropriation’.

Ah. No. Of course not. It's just one chippy little virtue signaller who can be safely ignored. And as Fahrenheit211 points out, should be ignored, for the good of society.

What Was The Point Of The Consultation, Then..?

Guy's Hospital has confirmed it will move a statue of its founder Thomas Guy to a less prominent position because of his links to Britain's slave trade after facing pressure from Black Lives Matter protests.

The decision has been agreed by the hospital's charitable foundation despite its consultation revealing that 75 per cent of those who responded felt the statue should remain in place.

Then why hold it at all? 

The trust has said the changes to St Guy's and St Thomas' statues is subject to planning permission.

Oh, wouldn't it just be delicious if this was refused? But we all know it won't be.  

...the consultation authors said that the campaign group's supporters dominated the responses, skewing the results.

Just like the BLM morons do, you mean? 

It comes as Goldsmiths University of London launched public consultation on plans to remove four statues including Lord Nelson and Francis Drake.

Will it be a real consultation, or another exercise in futility? 

The university says it does not have a 'policy position' on the statues and is opening the consultation to the public to determine their future.

We'll see... 

Pop Into The Office To Tell Your Boss, Matt...

Deputy Assistant Commissioner Matt Twist confirmed nearly 2,000 officers have been involved in policing the activists every day, adding that they had acted 'swiftly' when demonstrators caused 'serious disruption' to Londoners.

There are around 32,000 police officers in London. Mr Twist told Times Radio on Friday: 'It's not the numbers of protesters but it's the level of serious disruption that they're looking to cause, which is impacting on other Londoners.

'We've said right from the start, we know that Extinction Rebellion have the right to protest and the right to assemble.

'But what we also made clear is these are qualified rights and they have got to be balanced against the rights of the rest of London and Londoners, the people, the businesses, the communities who want to lawfully go about their business.

'Where we've seen cases of both very serious and totally unreasonable disruption looking to be caused, we have to take action and move in and make arrests.'

...because she's the one who let you twist in the wind. 

Fail to crack down on behaviour when it starts small, and of course you'll see more of it.

I Think We've Eliminated All Problems...

Amazon is being urged to rename its personal assistant...

Oh, my mistake! 

...because girls also named Alexa are being relentlessly bullied by other schoolchildren, their parents say.

Schoolchildren bully other schoolchildren? Why, this is unheard of! 

The assistant's granting of a name shared by real people has resulted in movements such as 'Alexa is a Human' — which is lobbying Amazon to reconsider the choice. There are some 4,000 individuals named Alexa under the age of 25 in the UK alone — many of whom report experiencing mockery thanks to their digital namesake.

People must be protected from mockery at all costs! Forget protecting them from crime, disease or avoidable accidents, this is far more important... 

'Alexa is a Human' is the initiative of Massachusetts resident Lauren Johnson, who was moved to act after the distress experienced by her own daughter.

'My daughter Alexa is nine now. The whole thing is a step beyond 'normal' teasing and bullying. It's identity erasure,' Ms Johnson told BBC News.

Gosh, I don't know why the Americans - and particularly, liberal women - have a reputation for being overly-dramatic flakes, do you, Reader?  

Critics of Amazon have suggested that the tech firm has not sufficiently advertised the fact that the wake word for their devices can be changed.

Read the f***ing manual! 

And Whose Fault Is This?

A headmaster has warned that teachers are becoming 'incredibly anxious' of being pounced on by pupils over micro-aggressions.

Nicholas Hewlett, head of St Dunstan's College private school in southeast London, said staff were worried by a 'righteous generation' of children who were looking for their teachers to 'trip up' on even 'small, persistent slights'.

Because I'm sure it's actually yours, and those of your fellow teachers who have instilled this in their pupils by pandering to their every whim instead of buckling down and teaching. Like you're paid to do.  

Mr Hewlett made headlines earlier this year when he announced he was 'happily gay and in a same-sex relationship' during a school assembly.

See? What possible reason would you have for this announcement? What business is it of the pupils how you conduct your private life? 

The school leader also recently appeared in a webinar he titled 'Woke Independent Schools - Why are we so afraid?' that looked out how debate over cultural issues had changed between the 1980s and today.

I guess now you know why. And whose fault it is.  

Should've Done It Via The Medium Of Rap, Mr Collins...

A geography teacher is being investigated after using the N-word to demonstrate to pupils the pitfalls of pronouncing Niger, the West African country.

They wouldn't have been able to touch you then.

One pupil is said to have walked out of the lesson last week at Chestnut Grove Academy in Balham, South-West London, in disgust. Mr Collins, described as highly regarded and conscientious, later apologised to the class.

For what? The student in question should have faced detention. But no doubt he or she didn't.  

But the matter then escalated as teachers, parents and other students complained, with some apparently not realising the context in which the word was used.

Or not caring, so long as they have a chance to get their outrage on? 

In a letter to parents, headteacher Christian Kingsley admitted that ‘a member of staff used racist language in a Year 9 lesson’ and promised to ‘robustly’ investigate the matter, adding: ‘The language was not directed at a student. However, we understand that students and their families have, justifiably, taken great offence to this and that there was no reason for the term being used.’

Stop reflexively cringing before these crybullies, or you'll forever be beholden to th... 

It is particularly embarrassing for the school because it prides itself on diversity and a ‘decolonised curriculum’ that highlights the effects of British imperialism.

Oh. Never mind. You've already signalled your surrender. 

And After That, They'll Invent A Perpetual Motion Machine And Institute World Peace...

Alice King, who was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, said she was shocked to see the monogram bodysuit on sale in the Urban Outfitters store in Churchill Square, Brighton.

The 22-year-old shared a photo of the outfit that she says looked more like “children’s clothing.”

Why? I mean, who else cares? 

Alice said: “It was labelled as a medium and straight away it put my back up. I thought ‘how can that possibly be a medium?’ It was so tiny.

“With my history of eating disorders, things like this just trigger me. I posted pictures on my Instagram story because I thought I cannot be the only one who thinks like this.”

Ah. I see now. You wanted reassurance that you weren't a crazy person looking for confirmation of your neuroses. And you're clearly going to find that on....Instagram? 

Oh dear. 

“I got so many replies from, mostly females, but some males too and they were just in shock, the same as me, that they could sell something like this.

“Urban Outfitters, along with other clothing brands, need to consider their younger audiences and the age at which people are more likely to struggle with these kinds of issues.”

I think UO probably believe all they need to do is sell clothes to people who want to buy them. I doubt they've considered attracting the tiny niche market of hysterical whackjobs who share outrage imagery on social media. 

She is now calling for standard clothing sizes to be introduced across the fashion industry to prevent the promotion of “unrealistic expectations for women’s bodies.”

Well, good luck with that, because every store and in-supermarket brand is different, and a size 14 in one is likely to be a size 12 in another! 

Urban Outfitters have been contacted for a statement.

The managing director is probably on his tenth brandy by now... 

Tell Us Again How 'Overworked' You Are...

A police investigation has been launched after a pick-up truck was spotted with a​...

Broken rear light? Non-working indicator? Dangerous unstable load? 

Nah, can't be. I see so many of those around, no police taking the slightest bit of notice. Must be something really hazardous to other motorists...

...'vile' image of a kidnapped woman on its tail gate.

*blinks*

Motorists did a double take and were horrified to see the artwork portraying an apparently abducted blonde woman lying down while tied up in the rear of the vehicle.

The vehicle was reported to police after being spotted at traffic lights on the junction of the A47 and A146 roads at Trowse, near Norwich, Norfolk.

Christ, just imagine the sad lives that must be lead by people who'd report this to police rather than just saying 'Ugh! Wouldn't have that on my car!' and going about their business... 

Why don't the police tell them it's nothing they need to take any action on as it's not a traffic offence to have artwork some snowflake doesn't like on their vehicle?

Norfolk Police say the incident is being investigated as a potential hate crime.

Gordon! Come deal with this appropriately, will you? 

Gordon Ramsay Chef Ramsay GIF from Gordonramsay GIFs

Never, Ever Satisfied...

“I just feel like the bus drivers ⁠— potentially, I can’t say it’s gospel ⁠— profiled my son because he is quite tall for his age and Black.

“And I feel like maybe if he was white, and maybe even female, in school clothes, they would have given that young person a ride.”

Really? Despite the fact that children of all colours have been stranded when payment fails?  

Stagecoach has since apologised to Amma, letting her know they have identified the drivers and will be finding out further information.

They added that the card readers sometimes block payment from Apple and Android Pay, and have offered two MegaRider tickets plus vouchers.

There! Are you happy now?  

In her complaint to Stagecoach, the mum stressed that a policy change was needed.

Oh. Of course not.  

“Drivers should be made aware all over the network that any child who gets on the bus, in their school clothes, who maybe doesn’t have the means to pay or their technology isn’t working ⁠— especially because we’re moving to a cashless society ⁠— should be let on the bus, no question.”

“It’s a safe-guarding issue at the end of the day,” she added, “they are old enough to get the bus, but not old enough to not get where they should be going.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  

The company’s response suggests that Amma’s points have been taken on board: an email sent yesterday (May 20) confirms that all drivers have been told they must not decline a child boarding the bus.

So, are you going to stop whinging now..? 

But Amma wants to take things further, and has started a petition calling for free bus travel for children and young people in full-time education in Cambridgeshire.

Oh, FFS!