Tweet Of The Month

Superb! 👏

Post Title Of The Month

A tie this month, with the trans cult providing some great opportunities not unnoticed by David Thompson: 

And Fahrenheit211:

Quote Of The Month

Bill Sticker takes a trip into the wilds, and pronounces it good. Why? Read on: 

"Well out in the fringes there isn’t all the wavy hand “look at me” activism of the Net Zero eejits from the East trying to get everyone to share in the insane belief that humanity is ruining the planet, and people insisting we can’t eat real meat because of ’emissions’. That’s a very squeamish urban belief."

 

Post Of The Month

MacHeath on the draining of the teacher pool as summer hits its height. And Thomas Paine makes it home at last.

Oh, Hi, Chickens!

...can I offer you a roost?

Referral units for children who have been excluded from mainstream schools are warning that they are full to bursting because of unprecedented levels of disruptive behaviour across the country.

Is the 'C' word getting a mention here, perchance? Well, Reader, only obliquely...

Providers that take children excluded from mainstream schools say that after a lull during the pandemic, the situation has deteriorated, and they have seen permanent exclusions rising across the country in the past year.

So the pandemic was a good thing...? And not in any way a potential cause of this increase..? 

Dave McPartlin, head of Flakefleet primary school in Lancashire, said: “The additional need we are seeing in schools is absolutely unprecedented and everyone is seeing more behaviour problems.”

He said complex needs were emerging much earlier too, with children in nursery and reception exhibiting emotional, social and communication issues.

Hmmm... 

I wonder what other treats we have in store from three years of covid shenanigans?

Go Home, Tor, You're Drunk...

*sighs* 

I used to come here for the literature news and reviews, but it seems it's become yet another company that's been killed, gutted, skinned and its carcass is now being worn by the woke crowd while they demand respect. 

Can I stand to read this article? Let's see...

I’ve known I was genderqueer/nonbinary since I was about twenty-four. But in 2004 I did not know I could use those words in context with myself.

*struggles to continue* 

Then I found myself part of two communities built on very specific heteronormative gender rules. The first was the brothel at the local renaissance festival...

That's it! I'm out! 

This Is Why These Beasts Are Now Fashionable...

A 25-year-old thug has been jailed after he unleashed his huge American XL bully to savage an innocent motorist while he was high on drinks and drugs, leaving the helpless victim with severe lacerations and puncture wounds.

It's like having a knife or a gun without the bother or effort of having to aim... 

Jepson from Penketh, Warrington, Cheshire, was jailed for eight years on Friday, after admitting causing grievous bodily harm with intent and being in charge of a dangerously out of control dog.

The court heard he had no recollection of the horrific incident as he was high on drink and drugs at the time, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

Well, at least cops seized the dog, right? 

Right? 

It is unknown where the dangerous dog is today. Jepson was offered some money by travellers for the animal, which had clipped ears, and said he has no idea where it is now.

Well, if the police ever raid a traveller encampment (I know, I know, Reader, but go with me here) perhaps they'll find out. The hard way. 

Not Heeding The Warning Signs...

Donna Southby, who was dining with her husband, Mark, and friends at the two-Michelin-starred restaurant on the edge of Snowdonia or Eryri national park, claims she was subject to a tirade of “verbal abuse” from the head chef, Gareth Ward, a feted cook from County Durham known for his uncompromising approach and 30-course menus.

Hmmm, 'uncompromising approach', eh? Were there any other clues that it might not be a pleasant experience..? 

£375-a-head menus at Ynyshir – which describes itself as “ingredient led, flavour driven, fat fuelled, protein obsessed” – consist of a parade of mostly meat and fish courses, from wagyu beef to black cod and caviar. With a DJ “curating” music that cranks up as the night proceeds to a level that one reviewer compared to a “Rotterdam techno dungeon” and atmospheric effects such as birch smoke, dinner takes up to five hours. A couple’s bill can easily pass £1,000 with wine. The restaurant warns: “we do not cater for any dietary requirements and do not offer substitutions for any of the dishes”.

I'm sure the food is good, but Reader, nothing is so good I'd want to put up with that... 

In 2018, Ward told Restaurant magazine: “People say you should cook for your customers. I say fuck that. You should cook for yourself.”

Then why the hell are you running a restaurant?  

Yes, I Just Bet You Would, Matt...

Describing the claims as 'hugely shocking', Skegness MP Matt Warman said it 'understandably raised a number of significant concerns'.

However, he added: 'I would ask that people resist the understandable desire to speculate on this case.'

...but if it's OK with you, and actually even if it's not, I'm going to.

Investigators are said to be working to determine whether he had any prior convictions before his arrival in the UK.

Maybe they should have done that before letting him - and all the others the RNLI and UK Border Force  escorted to our shores - run around free? 

OK, But...Why?

Why..? 

“I’d like to see more, a lot more black surfers try surfing,” he said. “Access can be a problem. It can be expensive to buy a board or get surf lessons. It’s a shame.”

I'm sure it's expensive for everyone.  

Siyanda grew up in South Africa, where his father, activist and surfer Tom Hewitt was the founder of Surfers Not Street Children, which worked with homeless street children and introduced them to the sport. “I was five or six when I started,” said Siyanda. “All the kids who were surfing were black.”

Errr, well, yes. In case you haven't noticed, South Africa has a huge black population. 

Which, despite the prevalence of minorities in adverts and tv shows, the UK hasn't... 

So dad's an activist, eh? That tells us a lot... 

When Tom Hewitt and Siyanda’s mum, Bulelwa, re-located to the UK, they set up in north Devon because of its world-class breaks. “It wasn’t quite the same here,” said Siyanda.

Well, no. It wouldn't be. 

Tom Hewitt said since the Black Lives Matter movement, surfing across the world had been thinking hard about its image.

Has it really? I doubt that, somehow... 

There's Another Simple Answer, Isn't There?

Just like with this one:

A father-of-four, jailed over fraud and drugs, cannot be deported back to Jamaica because it would leave no one to look after his 'gangster' children.

Swaye Binns, 45, will remain in the UK after an immigration tribunal was told three of his children were 'in and out prison', according to The Sun.

Appeal judge, Therese Kamra said the three had 'strong gang connections' and would be adversely affected if their father was kicked out of the UK.

Deport the lot! 

No Wonder The NHS* Is A Basket Case...

Robert Woodruff has been allowed to keep his medical licence despite recklessly getting behind the wheel to gatecrash a female colleague's barbecue while off duty, killing Richard Goodwin, 56.

He'd had ten pints. Oh, and he was a paramedic...  

Veteran NHS paramedic Woodruff had been looking at his phone when he veered across the wrong side of the road and slammed into the father-of-five, in a 'catastrophic' collision.

/facepalm 

Last year Woodruff, of Withernsea, East Yorkshire - who was then 36, was jailed for five years and four months, with a judge slamming him for causing 'unimaginable grief' to Mr Goodwin's family. But now, at a Health and Care Professions Tribunal, a panel has allowed him to keep his licence - suspending him for 12 months rather than striking him off, meaning Woodruff could return as a medic after serving his prison sentence.

Although admitted he never wanted to return as a frontline paramedic, Woodruff does hope to take on a 'health and safety role in the offshore industry', when released from jail.

Who'd employ him? 

The HCPTS panel said it is not their job to 'punish' and that before the incident he 'dedicated his life to saving lives and not to wrecking them'.

Before the incidents, Fred West laid a pretty good patio, I hear...

A tribunal report said: 'He said the criminal charge was not a true reflection of who he is as a person and as a professional.'

I thought the medical profession was good with latin. Haven't they heard the phrase In Vino Veritas...? 

* As my mother is currently (at the time of drafting this) in the not-so-tender clutches of the NHS, there may be another post with this title coming up in the near future.

I Think We All Know Why The Police 'Arranged Interviews'...

A woman in her 60s had a drink poured over her and was kicked to the floor as she travelled on a rush hour bus. The victim was travelling on a 108 bus in Newham when she was attacked by two other women at 5.20pm on May 28, police said.

Scotland Yard said she was approached by two other women who poured a drink over her, before pushing her to the ground and repeatedly kicking her. The victim suffered a broken nose in what police called an “unprovoked assault”.

...rather than kicking their door down and arresting them. 

They are indeed still calling it an assault, you'll note. But the two woman are claiming that they were 'provoked' and were actually the real victims:

Well, buses have cameras and there were witnesses. So, we'll see. Won't we?

"So, Photo Monkey, You Know What A Beaver Looks Like...?"

"Sure, boss!" *sweats*

H/T: Jimthekeeper via Twitter

Go Home, 'Mail' Headline Writer...

...you're drunk!

Sunday Funnies...

This is why my approach to DIY is 'get a man in'. But not any of these men!

Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed To Own Animals...

The bill came to £800, which we paid. We didn’t have to, but I couldn’t not.

Well, maybe the law says you didn't have to (though a small claims court wouldn't see it that way if the other owner had taken you to one) but personal responsibility says yes, you absolutely should...

As Clover’s hatred of any four-legged creature smaller than her grew, taking her for walks became an increasingly stressful experience. She would snarl and growl, and I would have to quickly clip her back on to her lead. ... 

And yet, you had no qualms whatsoever about leaving this ticking timebomb in the street for any other dog/cat/small child with fluffy toy in hand to wander past...

For some reason we left the house that morning without her muzzle. I was in a hurry to get my daughter, Dolly, off to school and, at the crucial moment, I couldn’t find it.

I tied Clover’s lead around a bench on the pavement and secured it with a plastic lock so she was restricted to around two feet of movement. And that’s when I popped into the cafe to grab a coffee.

I guess your need for a coffee was greater than your desire to keep others safe, eh?

I felt so wretched for the owner, and was surprised when she called me afterwards — with unbelievable graciousness, she told me not to berate myself. ‘These things happen,’ she said.

You'd not have heard from me. You'd have heard from a solicitor. Because 'these things' don't just happen without total culpability on the part of, well, people like you. 

Today, we now have two Labradoodles — Rupert, who is almost completely blind, and Otto, who looks just like his name, wiry-haired and a bit bonkers. Both are so gentle and loving — with humans and other dogs — that I simply cannot imagine a scenario where either of them would harm a fly.

You've learned nothing... 

Ooh, I Dunno, BBC News...

                             

... going down to the bottom of the sea in a submersible that looked like a Blue Peter special without the benefit of the added safety factor of sticky backed plastic, maybe?

As to the second question, how about 'We in the media are a pack of ghouls who'll do anything to fill the empty spaces in our schedule'...

Gosh, that level of idiocy won't be equalled tod...

GAH!

Is It A Case For Mulder And Scully, Then, Carole..?

Cllr Carole North (Conservative, Woldingham) said she was “astounded” at what the committee could be agreeing to, claiming there was “no proof” that any of the dogs being walked by Ms Johnston had killed her with no autopsy report in front of the council.

Doesn't she read the newspsapers, then? 

Cllr Wren said a consultation was important to hear all the views on the issue so they could be brought back to the committee for a decision. She added: “This has come about because of a lot of people contacting us who were very, very concerned about the events in January of this year.

As well they might be... 

“And this is why the council, and why Councillor Lee, brought it to this committee. We as a council have a responsibility to the outpouring of fear and worry to say what are we going to do about this?” The committee agreed to launch a six-week consultation on a draft public space protection order on dog control in the district.

Frankly, all councils should be concerned with issues like this. And not woke/green nonsense. 

Not Just On The Rail Network, Sgt Hardless...

Iriri appeared at Barkingside Magistrates’ Court on June 1 accused of three counts of harassment and possession of cannabis.

This was his third breach of a sexual notification requirement in three years.

So why isn't it bumped up out of the hands of the magistrates? 

Iriri was given a 26 week prison sentence.

Is that all? It should be 26 weeks for every...single...breach! 

Sergeant Hardless said: “There is simply no place for offenders like Iriri on the rail network...”

I'd argue there's no place for offenders like him in decent society. 

Oh, Sure, We've All Tried This...

...'but mum, all the other kids in my class get to stay up late and watch 'The Exorcist'..! 

Adults used to be wise to this. What happened to adults?

Win Some, Lose Some...

A Cleveland Police officer accused of driving without due care and attention ahead of a horror crash which left two teenagers seriously injured has been cleared.

And the IOPC isn't happy, if you read between the lines... 

IOPC regional director Emily Barry said: “My sympathies remain with the two young occupants of the Vauxhall Corsa, who sustained serious injuries, and all those affected by the incident in May 2022.

“This incident has had a profound impact on the lives of these young people and their families, and this is something they will have to live with for many years to come.

“Given the seriousness of the allegation, it was right for the evidence to be tested in a public court. It was a matter for the judge, applying a far higher evidential threshold than the one we must use when considering referral to the CPS, to determine whether PC French drove without due care and attention, and I am grateful for their careful consideration of this case.”

Sure you're grateful! 

The IOPC found PC French, whose conduct was also under investigation, had a case to answer for gross misconduct in relation to his driving prior to the collision. It will be for Cleveland Police to arrange a disciplinary hearing in due course, the IOPC said.

I hope Cleveland Police decline to do so. 

Chalk Another One Up To Covid...

Launderettes have provided a lifeline for millions of Britons in need of freshly washed clothes and bed linen for almost three quarters of a century. But they are disappearing fast – the victim of rising energy costs.

Not just energy costs, though.... 

The pandemic has played a role. Launderettes were one of the few high street businesses that remained open during lockdown, but this meant that they could not claim grants that sustained other businesses.

But they are the ones in the firing line, of course, since nothing can be allowed to intrude on the fantasy that lockdown was the savior of mankind: 

However, Bruce Herring, director of the National Association of the Launderette Industry, said that soaring energy bills ‘have been the real killer’.

‘Many launderettes had long-term contracts with the utility companies,’ he said. ‘These contracts have come to an end and prices are going up enormously. Most premises now pay about 12p per kWh for their gas-heated tumble dryers compared with 3p previously.’

And that we can lay at the door of another government policy disaster, can't we, Reader? 

Damned If They Do... Pt 4721588

A police spokesman said: “Kent Police was called to a report from a member of the public that several people had been seen in an alleyway near Fremlin Walk, Maidstone, who appeared to be in possession of a firearm, described as black handgun.

“Officers, including firearms officers, attended the area and three teenage boys were arrested in Week Street.“

A number of items were seized, including three black imitation handguns. The suspects were later bailed pending further investigation.”

Hurrah! Police doing what we pay them for! Good job, la... 

Oh.

...the force came under fire from some passersby who claimed they were “heavy handed” and over the top.

WTAF...!? 

Trevor Galloway, 56, witnessed the event and said: “They got the teenagers to get down onto the ground, hands on their head and obviously there were armed police there with big, semi-auto guns I think, walking around.

“It went on for a while. It was kind of obvious there was nothing serious happening.

“After a couple of minutes you could see teenagers being compliant and doing what they were told but they didn't ease up at all.”

“The teenagers were well dressed and seemed eloquent. They seemed normal and not street urchins, they seemed respectable. It didn't seem right.

“Passersby were shouting at them that they were kids and the public weren't worried at all. Nobody was really impressed with how the police handled it.

“I thought it was bit odd. To me it's wrong, I know they've got to cover all bases but they should have figured out quicker nothing was going on.”

But something was going on, wasn't it? Enough that someone called the cops. If they hadn't turned up, would you be complaining about that instead?

Do They Even Know What 'Positive Vetting' Is In Yorkshire?

Or do they think it's something to do with James Herriot?

A misconduct hearing heard PC Christopher Ryan Hudson had been arrested twice in 2006 for setting a gazebo on fire and kicking a door.

He omitted details of arrests when applying for jobs at West and North Yorkshire Police in 2016 and 2017.

 Well, did no-one check..?

Chief Constable Lisa Winward, who chaired the hearing, found Mr Hudson's dishonesty amounted to gross misconduct and said there was evidence that suggested his omissions had been deliberate.

Ooh, she must be a detective with skills like those! 

In her conclusion, she said: "[Mr Hudson] has leadership responsibilities as a tutor constable and this case does not relate to a minor isolated omission of a single strand of information on the officer's vetting forms but a number of acts of dishonesty that have been continued throughout the investigation."

Not to mention the number of acts of stupidity that occurred in the HR department... 

Mr Hudson, who did not attend the hearing or offer any mitigation, was dismissed without notice and placed on the barred list.

Will anyone check that, though? 

H/T: Nick Farmer via Twitter 

Well, It Takes A Village To Raise A Child, After All...

A cyclist who crashed into a three-year-old girl at a zebra crossing in east London suffered a broken jaw...

Came off his bike, did he? 

...after being violently assaulted by a member of the public.

*suppressed chuckle* 

“The suspect is not believed to have been known to the child,” said a Scotland Yard spokesperson.

Nice to see some people still retain the old atavistic instincts, despite the current woke agenda. 

Police investigating the incident are now appealing for any drivers who may have been in the area at the time and could have dash-cam footage of what happened to come forward.

I hope they don't, if it allows him to be identified. 

The Balance Of Power...

Pointy head intellectuals:

Dr Fred Cram, the director of the Cardiff centre for crime, law and justice at Cardiff University, said it was difficult to think of scenarios in which police chasing children without helmets could be justified.

Dr Mike Harrison, a lecturer in criminology at Swansea University, said: “I see this as yet another unfortunate situation where young, marginalised people that ride these bikes are being unfairly targeted. It is probably wise to suspend this practice [of chasing young people on e-bikes] until there is some kind of review.”

Real people whose lives are blighted:

Community leaders in Cardiff and Salford said a blanket ban on police chases of children on bikes was difficult because gangs already use them to run tasks – and would do this even more if they knew they definitely would not be pursued.

Mike McCusker, the lead member for transport on Labour-controlled Salford city council, said reckless use of powerful e-bikes was creating a “wild west” situation in some areas.

“The police are damned if they do, damned if they don’t,” he said, adding that better regulation and control was needed to take high-speed bikes off the streets.

Who will win out? I think we know, don't we, Reader... 

Gosh! One Might Almost Think...

...an election was looming, or something. 

It's A Question We're All Asking...

...and Matt's the one to pose it.

No Wonder So Much Mail Goes Astray...

...they don't hire for literacy anymore, do they?

Sunday Funnies...

Well, that's why they call it 'progress'...

Welcome To Consequences

For whom, I'm not so sure...

A teenager convicted of manslaughter has taken the Home Office to court - claiming he is unable to party after leaving prison because of an ankle tag.

He claims curfew condition such as the GPS monitoring tag have made it difficult for him to get a delivery job or see his girlfriend, The Sun reports.

Errr, well, yes. And?  

His claim stated: 'It is detrimental to the claimant’s mental wellbeing that he is unable to leave his premises after 8pm which deprives him of the opportunity to socialise with his peers.'

The case, which was heard in a youth court, heard no details of the attack which saw Slovakian-born Makula jailed.

Wait, why hasn't he been deported? 

While in a young offender's institution, he was reportedly sanctioned 40 times for his behaviour.

I say again, louder, WHY HASN'T HE BEEN DEPORTED?! 

He was eligible for release in March 2020 but was detained with a deportation notice, before being allowed out of immigration detention on bail in May 2020.

During those two months, Makula won a claim for false imprisonment with an £18,500 payout after it emerged he had been eligible for release on license.

*sighs* 

I'd Argue 'Justice' Is Exactly What You've Got...

Two police officers who followed two teenage boys on an electric bike shortly before it was involved in a fatal crash, sparking a riot in Cardiff, have been served gross misconduct notices.

This is an utter outrage. I'm not in favour of striking, but if every cop in the station where these two are based downs truncheons and walks out, I'll cheer them on... 

Family members welcomed the move by the IOPC but said they still feared they might not get justice for the boys.

One member of Harvey’s family said: “If they [the officers] had not done what they did, the boys would be at home with us now. We’re happy they have been served these notices but worried that it could get blown out of the water, that there could be a cover-up. We want justice for the families.”

What about 'if they [the children] had not done what they did..'? Or if, god forbid, their parents had instilled in them some self respect and discipline? 

But then, judging the area by this response, there's precious little of that to go around...

Earlier this month, South Wales police said 20 people – 17 males and three females aged between 14 and 36 – had been arrested in connection with the riot.

An open letter signed by more than 50 organisations and individuals including academics and campaigners and organised by the Cardiff Solidarity Group has called for an amnesty for them.

It says: “The unrest seen in Ely was an understandable emotional reaction to a tragedy that may or may not have been directly caused by the actions of South Wales police.”

Truly, an area/community gets the policing it deserves. So, let's see them get it. Good and hard.  

Good, Because That's Exactly The Signal It Should Send...

A mitigation plea was sent to the judge in April 2023 signed by groups including the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists and the Royal College of Midwives. “We plead to Your Honour to consider leniency in this case … we are fearful that if the case before you receives a custodial sentence it may signal to other women who access tele-medical abortion services, or who experience later gestation deliveries, that they risk imprisonment if they seek medical care,” it said.

I can't add much to what's already been said at Tim's and Orphans', but I'll add this: 'Good!'

Because that's exactly what it should do. Especially if they knowingly lie about how far along they are when they do seek it. 

I Don't Know How They Do It...

...but somehow, terrorists and deranged psychopaths always seem to choose victims from one particular type:

Barney's mother Emma Webber described the attacker who killed the two students as 'evil', but added he was 'just a person' as she begged the public not to level hate at 'any colour, religion or gender'.

Grace's mother, Sinead O'Malley-Kumar said:'It just is truly so unfair but I'll echo what my husband said yesterday - be kind to each other, look after each other, don't have hate in your hearts. Say prayers for my baby girl.'

Thankfully, I've never been the bereaved relative of this kind of atrocity, but if I were, I very much doubt that I would come out with this sort of touchy-feely bollocks. Maybe I'm just a worse sort of person than these people. 

But isn't it strange that they all seem to sing from the same hymnbook when they get to take centre-stage at the vigils? 

Her father Sanjoy added:'I'd like to thank the uniformed services who also do a great job.'

I really hope for your sake you still think that after the inevitable coroner's report, court case and inquiry... 

'1984' Wasn't An Instruction Manual...

A deputy headteacher allegedly reported a foster mother to social services after she questioned the school's teaching of 'the genderbread person' as well as a video lecture of a non-binary 12-year-old saying gender is dynamic.

The teacher wrote in a letter seen by the Telegraph that while the children were 'looked after physically', there was a danger they could 'expound similar bigoted viewpoints' to their mother.

I would tag this 'beyond belief' but is it, really? 

According to reports, a meeting took place between social services and members of the school to discuss if the woman was suitable as a foster mother.

Showing a work ethic we haven't seen in recent cases.  

In a class action case that is being prepared against the Government, the foster mother is now one of the litigants who claim the ministers have been 'wilfully neglient' for allowing material from groups like Stonewall to become the norm in schools.

I wish them luck, but even if they win, what action will be taken to root out this dogma? 

Squat, Muscular, Ugly, No Place In Society...

...and his killer beasts were just as bad.

She and her two neighbours were forced to lock themselves inside the property where Lucille had lived for more than 40 years as the police were called.

Paramedics could not help Mrs Downer until Pritchard himself returned home and got the dogs away from her.

How did he manage to do that faster than armed cops could turn up and gun the beasts down in the street? Was it because he was more worried about the cannabis farm at his house? 

Pritchard, 44, was jailed for a total of 57 months at Wolverhampton Crown Court on Tuesday. He also received four months behind bars under the Dangerous Dog Act, as well as 12 months for drug offences, to run consecutively. He was ordered to serve half of the sentence in prison and the second half on licence.

Four months. Well, actually, two. Is that all a life is worth? 

Sentencing, Judge Michael Chambers KC said Mrs Downer was the victim of a 'dreadful and sustained attack'.

He said: 'Only a matter of weeks previously, the dogs had escaped into another neighbour's garden. What occurred was entirely foreseeable. '

Except, of course, to the police and authorities.  

It's OK, Stephanie, They Have The Answers Down Pat...

Stephanie, 33, said social services 'will have a lot of questions to answer', adding: 'It makes you stick sick to your stomach to think what Alfie might have been subjected to behind closed doors. Why didn't social services do more before it was too late?'

After all, they've had so much practice over the years, haven't they?

The family was known to social services - not least because Howell had an order in place preventing him from staying at the house, which he routinely flouted. Neighbours also made repeated calls to police after hearing screaming and crying coming from both inside and outside the family home.

A safeguarding review will now explore what more could have been done to save Alfie.

The people in charge of preventing these cases should have done their jobs. There. That's your review. 

And if it seems like déjà vu, well, it's what's always said in cases like this, as the people in charge of preventing cases like these scramble to distance themselves: 

Det Ch Insp Harding said the case had not been referred to the Independent Office of Police Conduct (IOPC), because it "did not meet the criteria", despite officers' contact with the family.

If this didn't, what would? Maybe those criteria should change? 

Nigel Huddleston, MP for Mid-Worcestershire, described the case as "absolutely horrendous". "We must endeavour to learn lessons from Alfie's murder to help ensure that such a horrific event never happens again," he added.

Keep that phrase somewhere, Nigel, because I'd bet you (or some other MP) will be trotting it out again at the next preventable child murder. Just remember to cross out the name 'Alfie', eh? 

"He was just walking home from a club like we all do, they just got unlucky. They were five minutes from home and stabbed by some random guy.'"

'Just unlucky'..? Or let down once again by the failure of the authorities to act on mental illness? 

The suspect arrested by police is understood to be a 31-year-old West African national who has been living legally in the UK since his teenage years, and who has struggled with mental health issues.

It seems that while the mental health professionals are absent when needed, in the aftermath of yet another disaster caused by a mentally ill immigrant, they can swing into action after all: 

Education Secretary Gillian Keegan said: 'My thoughts and prayers are with the City of Nottingham following the devastating news that three people have lost their lives, including two students from @UniofNottingham.

'Support is available for students and staff and my Department stands ready to assist in any way we can.'

I guess consoling crying students is easier work than trying to section a violent man. 

But hey, let's not castigate the authorities too much. They do show some initiative. When it comes to silencing the bereaved: 

Barnaby Webber's maternal grandparents Phil and Jenny Robson, who travelled up from their home outside Exeter, Devon, said: 'We are still unsure what has gone on at the moment. 'Barnaby's parents are in bits as you can imagine but they are with officers from Nottinghamshire Police as we speak.

'We've been told not to make any comment until we know more. Perhaps in a day or two we can say more but at the moment we are not allowed.'

And you thought we had freedom of speech in this country, didn't you? 

The Chinese Don't Care, Though...

The poor performance of Disney’s The Little Mermaid at the Chinese box office has reopened questions on Hollywood’s increasing difficulties in the world’s second-largest economy and the role racism has played in the film’s reception.

Of course, it must be racism. It can't possibly be that the film isn't very good, can it? 

The Little Mermaid has just 2.5 stars on Douban, a popular Chinese review site. IMDb, an American review site, last week claimed the film had been the target of “unusual voting activity” from people trying to downgrade the film’s rating. But many of the negative Douban reviews are critical of the film’s plot and execution, rather than Bailey’s casting specifically.

Ah, they are cunning, those heathen Chinee! But Western intellectuals are onto their cunning plan to disguise their racism behind film critique... 

Murjana, a Hong Kong-born Nigerian trainee lawyer, said she was used to experiencing racism in her home city.

Well, she could always go to Nigeria. I'm sure there's no recism there. What form does this racism take, anyway?

“It’s 2023 and if you’re black or dark skinned in Hong Kong, there’s a 95% chance there will be an empty seat next to you on the sardine-packed train … It’s not so much surprising as it is amusing that people still allow something as arbitrary as the degree to which one’s skin produces melanin to dictate whether they would enjoy a movie about a fictional half-fish half-human.”

Well, that doesn't sound so bad... 

Grinding Really, Really Slowly Again...

A man who armed himself with a knife has been jailed for his role in an incident which led to an 18-year-old being fatally stabbed in Old Leigh.

No, no, not a recent one at all.

Flynn Symonds, 33, has been standing trial at Basildon Crown Court over his involvement in the incident on February 26, 2021, which ended with the death of Luke Bellfield.

This week Symonds has been convicted by a jury of violent disorder, having a bladed article, and having an offensive weapon. He was jailed for two years following his conviction.

If that seems a low sentence, well...

“CCTV shows Luke Bellfield leading the chase with a machete-style knife. He is stabbed and the other two men keep chasing Alfie Pollard.”

Lovely family. Innit?

Move It Monday: June

This month, it's an artist I never thought I'd ever give houseroom (funk and acid jazz? from the 90s?), but this - 'Canned Heat' by Jamiroquai - is just so infectious I can't help myself every time it comes on. 

And the video's really quite charming!

 

The Police Have Blood On Their Hands Again...

What? No, no, not the latest ebike Darwin Award winner.

Police officers are investigating an horrific dog attack in Garlinge where one pet was killed, another seriously injured and a man suffered injuries to his hand which may result in amputation of at least one finger.

Yes. We all know the breed by now.  

“The attack was about eight minutes and then there were people trying to get the dog off of Nick. I arrived when it was all finishing. Nick is now in East Grinstead hospital having his hand reconstructed and it looks like he will lose at least one finger.

“His wife is absolutely distraught. It is the second attack by the same dog. Last month it attacked an Alsatian pup badly breaking its leg.”

And did the police take action then? Reader, what do you think? 

Laura Sullivan, from the Missing Dogs and Strays Thanet group, was also a witness to the attack. She said: “The aftermath was truly devastating. Little Bella had no chance, she’s a little toothless terrier and thank god that the owner and neighbour’s quick action with Woody meant less harm to him.

“This dog was the dog from the attack on Alfie the German Shepherd pup whose leg we still don’t know can be saved.

“The police have everyone’s details, CCTV has picked up the 8 minute attack and for now our dogs in Garlinge are safe as the dog was taken under police advice via Dog Warden.”

In other words, they can't possibly ignore this attack like the other.  

Kent Police are appealing for CCTV or dashcam footage to help with the investigation.

Though it looks like they are going to try... 

"Let me tell you it's always cool, and the boss don't mind sometimes if you act the fool..."

He'd probably draw the line at double homicide, though, Rose...

Detective Superintendent Nicki Addison said: 'This is a tragic case and we are working hard to understand more about what happened leading up to these two people losing their lives.

'We ask that people do not speculate on the circumstances at this stage as it is distressing for family and friends, and could hinder our enquiries.'

Anything else you'd like to ask, Nicki? The tide to refuse to come in, maybe? 

'We understand that this incident may cause concern in the local community and further afield. We know that the woman arrested is related to the people and we don't believe there is wider threat to the public at this time.'

They'll just have to get the hosepipe and Turtle Wax out and do the car themselves for a few weeks... 

Where Do You Keep Them, Though..?

To properly hoard things takes a lot of storage, be they tchotchkes or tourists...

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Did They Take The 'H' Too...?

*sighs*

Sunday Funnies...

Because you can't, after all, be too careful...

‘It just went horribly wrong for me.’

But not as horribly wrong for as it did for your passengers. Seven of whom died:

When asked if fatigue might have contributed to the confusion he described, Dorris said: ‘I wouldn’t say so, no.’

Pressed again by the prosecutor if he might have been disorientated from having been asleep, Dorris said: ‘No, I wasn’t asleep. I was disorientated.’

Dorris described how the disorientation had left him believing he was heading for Lloyd Park, and not the curve at Sandilands, and so did not feel he needed to immediately apply the brakes.

As excuses go, it's pretty thin... 

"They Won't Have BoJo To Kick Around Anymore..."

His departure stunned Rishi Sunak and there was dismay in No 10 at the prospect of a fresh round of Tory bloodletting.

Mr Johnson's decision to go comes three and a half years after he won a landslide election victory, and will raise fresh doubts about whether the Conservatives can hang on to power at next year's election.

Après moi, le déluge, indeed...

Mr Johnson's decision to go came just hours after his close ally Nadine Dorries quit when she was blocked from receiving a peerage in his resignation honours. Their departures mean the PM faces a difficult double by-election. And Tory whips were last night on red alert for the possibility of more resignations among Mr Johnson's supporters.

It could be a deluge to rival the Kakhovka Dam, at that!

Well, There's 'Protected Species', And Then There's Protected Species...

A rare moment of agreement:

Jon Cruddas, Labour MP for Dagenham and Rainham, joined Ben Suter, deputy chairman for Dagenham and Rainham Conservatives, in saying the extension of the Traveller site at the park presented a threat to the green belt and ignored the wishes of local people.

Mr Suter went on to claim that the extension would destroy the habitats of protected species, without specifying which animals he was referring to.

But then the real protected species got up on its hind legs and brayed for all it was worth: 

Ilinca Diaconescu, policy and campaigns coordinator for London Gypsies and Travellers, spoke out following Barking and Dagenham Council’s decision to approve the extension of a Gypsy and Traveller site in Eastbrookend Country Park at a cabinet meeting on May 23.

Ms Diaconescu, whose group is a registered charity, said: “We urge politicians to understand the negative impacts of their opposition to these plans in the context of the housing crisis facing Gypsy and Traveller Londoners, and the racism and prejudice that the communities continue to face to this day.”

So, politicians shouldn't represent anyone's interests except yours, Ilinca? There's a name for that, isn't there? I wonder how it translates into Romanian?

Ms Diaconescu said that when politicians opposed the delivery of homes for Gypsy and Traveller families, they reinforced housing inequalities these communities face and send a public message that they are not welcome anywhere.

I wonder why... 

There's A Simple Answer Then, Isn't There?

 

And it's 'keep him behind bars until he tells the authorities where it is'...

Siddique Ali, 43, was identified after a public appeal from detectives but a Scotland Yard spokesman admitted his two dogs have still not been found.

...

A passing taxi driver broke the girl free from the dog’s grip and Ali left the area before police arrived.

If not for that taxi driver, the child could have been far more seriously injured. 

Ali, of Ackroyd Drive, Tower Hamlets, appeared at Snaresbrook Crown Court on Friday May 12 where he was sentenced to 14 months imprisonment for being in charge of a dog dangerously out of control causing injury to a person contrary to Section 3 of the Dangerous Dogs Act.

He was also banned from keeping a dog for 10 years and ordered to pay a victim surcharge of £187.

And we all know how that's never enforced or monitored... 

"Some Of It's Even From The Students..."

In the past couple of years, the insecurity in people’s lives has been getting worse and worse – and it’s affecting their behaviour. You see learners breaking down in tears because they are so overwhelmed, or they are venting their anger and frustration.

Since we came back on-site post-lockdown, behaviour is worse than it has ever been. Every staff member that I have spoken to agrees. There has been spitting, foul language, littering, disregard for shared spaces and teachers’ authority – it’s shocking.

What could possibly have given these students a lack of respect for, well, everything? 

It must be a hangover from covid restrictions, right? It couldn't be anything else...

"Especially Asking Why It Took So Long..."

A man is due to appear in court after a teenage girl was allegedly raped in the sea at Bournemouth beach...

Well, summer's nearly here at la... 

...two summers ago.

*blinks* 

A 19-year-old from the Walsall area in the West Midlands was arrested in connection with the incident and has now been issued with a postal requisition to appear at Poole Magistrates’ Court on Friday, June 16.

Don't we remand in custody any more? 

Detective Inspector Mark Jenkins, of MCIT, said: “It is vital that the judicial process is allowed to follow its course and I would like to remind the public that there should be no commentary or sharing of information online or on social media that could potentially prejudice these proceedings.”

We can comment on why it took so bloody long, though... 

H/T: IanJ via email

It's Another Exciting Round Of 'Guess The Redacted 'Guardian' Headline'..!

People are eating their pets? Children are starving in the streets? Mothers are selling themselves on street corners to buy bread?

*sighs*

Many in Lydon’s generation went to university or art school without paying anything; others had their fees heavily subsidised by the state.

No, Alex. By the taxpayer.  

Budgets for local drama and public art projects were far more generous. Beneath all this was the safety net of full employment, dole and affordable housing. These conditions made postwar Britain an ideal breeding ground for confident and adventurous new forms of art...

Until we ran out of money... 

It is not necessarily a question of increasing government funding for creative initiatives, welcome though that would be.

Perish the thought! 

Instead, we need to think at the deepest level about what it takes for a society to be able to regenerate itself and allow the new to be born. Just as the declining birthrate among younger Britons seems far more likely to be due to a hostile social environment than any sudden change in attitudes to parenting, so too we need to look at the fundamental inability of our society to provide basic forms of security – in education, housing, welfare and employment – if we are to understand why it is now so difficult for young innovators in all the arts to achieve breakthrough.

That's not independence. That's being kept. As a pet.  

If You're Wondering Why Cops Hate Going To Domestics...

...wonder no more: 

A man yelled "Don't know you know I am? I am the f***ing gold!" and threatened to "bite off" a police officer's face before breaking his arm in a drunken rage.

Peter Ellis, 39, punched a police officer in the jaw then shattered another's right arm when they turned up outside his Elm Gardens home in Seaforth at around 11pm on February 4 last year, having been called to reports of a domestic incident.

His girlfriend Michelle Smith, of Larch Grove, Bidston, then leapt into the fray, grabbing the injured police officer and kicking his broken arm several times.

Charming!  

The pair appeared at Liverpool Crown Court today, May 24, each pleading guilty to charges of assaulting an emergency worker and affray, with Ellis facing an additional charge of grievous bodily harm.

Bang to rights! No amount of mitigation will forestall a trip to chokey! 

Jim Smith, defending Ellis, said: "(Ellis) has sought therapy himself and is awaiting behavioural therapy, and is under the local mental health team. He suffers from complex PTSD owing to a life event which he suffered when he was a young man, which continues to affect his behaviour.

"He's somebody who has obtained employment, he's somebody who remains unlawful substance-free. He's somebody who contributes to the family as much as possible... It's a very different man you see before you today in court than that which committed the offences in February 2022."

Gary Lawrenson, defending Smith, said: "This was genuinely and completely out of character for this woman. She doesn't usually drink and she certainly hasn't since. She does take full responsibility for her actions. This is the first time that she's been before any court at the age of 37, a terrifying experience that she seeks never to repeat."

Ah, good effort, lads, but you're wasting your ti.. 

Ellis was given a 12 month sentence suspended for two years, and was ordered to carry out 200 hours of unpaid work and 20 days of rehabilitation. Smith was given a four-month sentence suspended for two years, and 20 days of rehabilitation.

*sighs* 

Are Apple Running Out Of Ideas..?

It does seem so...

Apple is making a small but mighty change to Siri in the new iOS 17 - users can drop the 'Hey' and only need to say 'Siri' to activate the virtual assistant.

Just like Alexa then? 

Another feature that aims to make life easier is the new 'NameDrop' that lets users easily share contact information by tapping their devices with someone else's.

Didn't they already do this? I'm sure I had an app for this about two phones ago... 

...the firm is expected to announce a new piece of hardware that could soon 'replace the iPhone,' according to one expert. The long-rumored AR/VR headset.

OOoh! Remember 'Google Glass'? Well, no-one else does... 

A live voicemail feature also transcribes messages directly on the display, allowing you to ignore or answer the call.

Oh, well, that could be good. But it's hardly game-changing. 

Here's a tip, Apple: bring back the 12 day giveaway at Christmas! I used to love that... 

Why Did The Rambler Cross The Road?

He didn't, if he's got any sense!

The only problem is...it doesn't cross the A303. It seems to run along the A303, joining two existing paths.

The path links footpath 28 with footpath 38 in Longparish, creating more circular walks and providing legal and safe access to famous landmarks such as Deadman's Plack.

*sigh* Modern 'journalism'... 

H/T: Ian J via email

I've Always Wondered What It Takes To Get The RSPCA To Act....

...and now I know:

Jodie Marsh has revealed her £1 million farm was swarmed by RSPCA investigators on Wednesday.

The animal group arrived at the property as they were investigating claims she took her meerkat Mabel to the pub.

And, what? Forced Guinness down the poor beast's throat? 

Taking to Instagram, she filmed the incident as it unfolded- and cleared up the rumours about her animal, revealing that she could not leave her alone as she would cry if she did and needed regular feeding because she was rearing her.

And this took two hours and a team of investigators?Well, no. That was because, thwarted in their purpose (not to help animals in distress, to secure a celebrity scalp, of course!) they went digging around for other things they could boast about in their publicity mailshots.

With the same results.

Jodie revealed that during the two-hour investigation, officers also looked into claims that an emu had a tube stuck in its neck. The glamour model shared that the tube was saving the animal's life as it was for feeding them...

It's not really surprising that they don't understand about 'saving animal's lives', since it's a pretty much alien concept to them. 

Also during the farm inspection, Jodie was asked about keeping a wild muntjac deer and she told officers she was looking after it because it had fallen into a swimming pool nearby.

I can see why that would have baffled them, too... 

I Just Can't Blog These Fast Enough...

Another day, yet another death by dog:

A community has been plunged into mourning after a woman died following a dog attack on Friday, June 2. It happened on Kathleen Avenue in Bedworth.

The 'family dog', or so it was claimed. Did police do the right thing when they turned up? Reader...no! 

Officers have now contained and seized the animal to a secure facility, and stress there is no ongoing risk to the wider community.

*sighs* 

A 52-year-old man and a 49-year-old woman have been arrested on suspicion of possession of a banned breed of dog and owning a dog dangerously out of control, according to Warwickshire Police.

Now that's very strange. Normally it takes a while for the cops to come out with 'not on the DDA register' (as if that made a difference!) so something must be odd about this one. 

There's only four breeds on the register. Perhaps it's one of those animals allowed to be kept with license and restrictions?

Superintendent Sutherland Lane said: “This was a tragic isolated incident, and a full investigation is now underway to establish the circumstances surrounding it. Thankfully dog attacks of this nature are exceedingly rare...

Beg to differ, lord copper! Your friendly neighbourhood blogger can't keep up with these reports lately! 

Any clues from the neighbours?

The man, who declined to be named, told how he spoken briefly to the dog owner after he was freed on police bail. Speaking to MailOnline, he said: 'The dog attacked his mum-in-law while she was in the back garden lying on a sun lounger.

'He is very shocked and shaken and said he had no idea why the dog suddenly turned and described it as an awful tragedy.'

'No idea', eh? 

'He was at work at the time so didn't see the attack but [his wife] tried to get the dog off.

'Police say it was a banned breed but I'm not sure. I don't know what it was - quite a size with a big head, a bulldog Mastiff type.

'When he got it he said it was a rare breed and there were only six in the country.

Curiouser and curioser. What would a builder want with such a 'family dog', I wonder? 

'It was kept in the back garden and whenever I saw it being walked which was not very often because he was always busy at work in the building industry it never showed any aggression.

'No one knows why it attacked and killed the poor woman, it could have gone crazy after being stung by a bee orbit (sic) could have had something wrong with its brain. It could be anything.'

Someone had something wrong with their brain, for certain. I just don't think it was the mutt... 

It's The Poor Texan Pizza Workers I Feel Sorry For...

Too much roughage in the diet..?

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Snitches Get What...?

Oh. Umm....

Sunday Funnies...

Well, think I'll stick to asking tall men to get things off supermarket top shelves!

But Those Who Broke It Will Never Face Any Consequences...

Mr Brennand said he would be writing to Health Secretary Steve Barclay expressing his 'profound concerns' about issues including morale, workloads and staff shortages.

Afterwards Mr Jones said Emily had been the victim of a 'broken' system. Campaigners said the tragedy raised 'serious questions' about whether the public were safe.

...and so what will change? Nothing.

After smuggling herself into Britain on the back of a lorry in 2014, Skana was twice sectioned under the Mental Health Act following a series of violent outbursts.

She attacked her mother with an iron in February 2017. Skana then absconded from the unit where she was being treated, tried to obtain a knife and demanded to see a friend's daughter. The following year she was refused asylum, but was allowed to remain in the UK after lodging an appeal.

Emily's inquest heard the Home Office dropped plans to contest the appeal – despite asylum workers being informed she had confessed that her trafficking claim had been a lie. The hearing was told her statement was disregarded due to the mental health problems she was suffering at the time.

Yet another in the litany of failures  to lay at the door of the disfunctional Home Office. The father of little Emily is unhappy with the verdict, as well he might be. 

Does the coroner sympathise, or does he see it as a way to burnish his woke credentials by chiding the grieving man? Reader, I leave it to you to decide: 

The coroner added that it was 'not difficult to appreciate that he may well feel, and is entitled to feel', that Skana 'should never have been allowed into the country' or be 'cared for in the community'.

But he stressed that unlike treatments from 'yesteryear', when patients with paranoid schizophrenia would be kept 'under lock and key on a permanent basis', we now lived in 'more enlightened times'.

And all it costs us is the lives of our children. How very enlightened. 

" I am sick of being blamed when I did the legal thing and handed the dog over to the police."

More on this incident:

Geroge (sic) had been rehomed to the teenager's family less than 24 hours before. His previous owners had another dog and the two pets were not getting on. The family was trying to move to a bigger house so the dogs could be in separate rooms. But having failed to find a suitable property they had rehomed George with a family friend rather than keep both of them caged up.

Because if you have a mutt that 'doesn't get on' with your current pet, to the point where you can't keep them together, what better to do with it than 'rehome' it to another irresponsible tattooed chav?

Speaking for the previous owners, Laura Wicks commented: 'I had this dog with me. He also lived with my sister and her children. 'He wasn't aggressive. An eye witness said he was not aggressive towards anyone at the park. I (sic) was just because of the breed of him.'

That's not what other eyewitnesses say... 

A spokesman for North Yorkshire Police said: ' No-one, other than the owner of the dog, was injured during the incident. Their injuries are described as bite marks. They added that the dog was put down with the agreement of the owner...

Meanwhile, in London:

Another neighbour called the police at 8.52am, who arrived with riot shields and blocked off the road. However, Anthoney said that officers were reluctant to go near the dog.

It's about time police started dealing with thrse things they way they'd deal with escaped zoo animals... 

Time To Play 'Guess The Headline' Once Again...

Well, what could it be? Climbing them? Carving their names in the trunks? 

It can't be being injured by falling coconuts, after all, not in Devon's climate!

I...

Well, I can say I wasn't expecting that.

According to Plymouth Live, the council insists that the work was necessary in order to tackle anti-social behaviour. A council spokesperson said: “The area around the Belvedere shelter has suffered from growing anti-social behaviour, with council officers regularly having to clean up sex and drug paraphernalia.”

Which 'council officers'..? Because if it's the street cleaners or parks staff, some might say that it's their job... 

The spokesperson said: “We will be replacing them with planting that has improved biodiversity benefits and provides a better home to bees and bugs.”

And discourages public sex? Hmmm. Nettles?

The residents aren't convinced: 

The person, who called the palms “stunning”, said the removal of shrubs would merely relocate anti-social behaviour elsewhere and said: “Those causing the problems will simply move elsewhere.

The problem needs to be addressed at root cause level, not moved on.

“These palms were stunning. Adding to biodiversity for sure plus, as all island and seaside people know, they are the best at dissipating wind. The sound of the wind in palm leaves is unique and was something to be enjoyed by all.”

Quite! But not enjoyed in that fashion...

H/T: Ian J via email