I've Always Wondered What It Takes To Get The RSPCA To Act....

...and now I know:

Jodie Marsh has revealed her £1 million farm was swarmed by RSPCA investigators on Wednesday.

The animal group arrived at the property as they were investigating claims she took her meerkat Mabel to the pub.

And, what? Forced Guinness down the poor beast's throat? 

Taking to Instagram, she filmed the incident as it unfolded- and cleared up the rumours about her animal, revealing that she could not leave her alone as she would cry if she did and needed regular feeding because she was rearing her.

And this took two hours and a team of investigators?Well, no. That was because, thwarted in their purpose (not to help animals in distress, to secure a celebrity scalp, of course!) they went digging around for other things they could boast about in their publicity mailshots.

With the same results.

Jodie revealed that during the two-hour investigation, officers also looked into claims that an emu had a tube stuck in its neck. The glamour model shared that the tube was saving the animal's life as it was for feeding them...

It's not really surprising that they don't understand about 'saving animal's lives', since it's a pretty much alien concept to them. 

Also during the farm inspection, Jodie was asked about keeping a wild muntjac deer and she told officers she was looking after it because it had fallen into a swimming pool nearby.

I can see why that would have baffled them, too... 

Treat Them Like Illegal Guns And Seized Knives...

...and ignore the animal lovers who will demand they can be rehabilitated:

Met Police officers have rescued dogs from an alleged “dog fighting” property in northeast London.

Police officers executed a warrant at a property on Sewardstone Rd, Chingford last Thursday and found adult dogs and puppies from prohibited breeds.

Then humanely destroy them. And when the hopelessly optimistic animal lovers raise a hullabaloo about them being 'innocent' and the real culprits being the owners, point out that there's no reason to melt down perfectly servicable knives and guns either, but we do...

Three men aged between 28-35, were arrested at the scene on suspicion of dangerous dog offences, handling stolen goods, possession of a firearm and possession of offensive weapons in a private place.

Of course. Why is this a surprise? The police should be - and probably are in a lot of cases - well aware that criminality goes hand in hand with criminality. 

Officers also discovered a firearm, combat knives, and stolen plant machinery.

Plant machinery? Chingford? Vicious animal cruelty? I'm getting a bit of a vibe here. 

No, not footballers!

PC Tom Landels of the Met’s North East Command said: “There was a significant amount of property and a number of dogs seized during this operation.

“The plant machinery will be returned to the lawful owners and the dogs will undergo assessment while they are cared for at a police kennel facility.”

Why bother? Dispose of them humanely.  

The three men in question have been released under investigation, while enquiries remain ongoing.

No names, eh?