Man Up, Juan!

Helicopter footage of the near-30-minute chase was being broadcast on KCBS-TV when the suspect was shown emerging from a van in the Mount Washington neighborhood in an apparent attempt to flee. The man is seen hopping over a divider on the 110 Freeway before a car in the opposing lane speeds by, striking him as the camera had zoomed in.

And modern day male news anchors aren't made of The Right Stuff anymore, it seems... 

'Whoa, wow! Oh my god! Oh no! Oh no!' weekday anchor Juan Fernandez could be heard saying. 'Stay wide, stay wide, he got hit,' said assignment editor Mike Rogers, instructing the cameraperson to pull back.

Surely the possibility for this sort of thing exists with every live police chase? Well, not everyone lost their shit: 

The feed then cut to the studio, where Fernandez was shown with his mouth open and face frozen, with a hand on his cheek. His co-anchor, Suzie Suh, kept her composure to speak to viewers. 'We just saw the person who was being pursued get out of their car and actually get hit by another speeding car,' she said.

The only thing she did wrong was not to look at the camera, shrug, and say 'Shit happens!'... 

Animal control were also called to the scene to remove a dog from the inside the van, the Los Angeles Fire Department said.

If the dog had got out and been run over, Pussy Juan's reaction might have been a little more understandable. 

No Professional Courtesy For Bloodsuckers?

Oh dear, how sad, never mind...

And in other pest-related news:

A flea-infested courtroom has halted the murder trial of a man who was strangled to death in his own home for a year.

The trial had already been going on for a month when the tiny biters invaded the space and the jury has had to be discharged.

Horrible creatures that prey on the weak are everywhere these days, it seems. 

Six men are accused of murdering Ian Staves, 44, after he was found dead in his own home in September 2022.

Prosecutors claim he had been strangled by men planning to steal drugs from him at his home in Wooton, near Hull.

The court heard that the self-employed car sprayer - who lived next door to his mother - was a drug user who was being investigated by police. Half a kilogram of cocaine and a cannabis grow were found during a raid of his house.

See what I mean? 

🎶…’cause later, if you get too close, he’ll hurt you where it hurts the most…🎶

This is the terrifying moment a matador was gored in the rectum and tossed in the air like a ragdoll during a traditional bullfight in Spain last night.

Alejandro Conquero was reported to be in a 'serious' condition after sustaining horrific injuries during the event in Cenicientos, in the region of Madrid.

I'm not sure wht the 'Mail' describes it as 'shocking', I'd have thought it was an inevitable consequence of this... 

Hide And Seek Champion 2023 Title Almost Won!

Around 20 minutes beforehand, police had been called to a domestic disturbance nearby involving a woman in her late 40s and a young boy. Both were hurt, but the extent of their injuries is not know (sic).

A male suspect fled the scene and police believe he then climbed into a bin outside nearby council flats.

Which turned out to be something of a tactical error, since it was Bin Day! Whoopsie!

Detectives are yet to rule out if he deliberately threw himself into the cart or not. A post mortem is now set to be carried out to establish whether the man was deceased or alive when he fell into the dustcart.

It's possible he had a heart attack while in the bin, I suppose. But really, who cares? 

Shutting The Stable Door...?

A fruit picker accused of stabbing to death nine-year-old Lilia Valutyte has reportedly been rushed to hospital after being slashed and battered by a shank-wielding cellmate in a brutal prison attack.

 But wait!

Skebas was under constant supervision following his return to prison.

 *hollow laughter*