We did go to hospital, where they were terribly nice but made me wear a face mask – it turns out you can't actually breathe through them. Once they'd ruled out meningitis, I got a prescription for Tamiflu and a cocktail of painkillers, but when my partner tried to get it fulfilled, he discovered it's not so easy to find a chemist with Tamiflu in stock, even in London, and it can't be on the same prescription as any other drugs. "You can have the Tamiflu or the painkillers," they told him. "Choose one." Back to the hospital that we were never supposed to have visited in the first place, then.