A lovestruck Bognor student smashed his way into a mortuary with an axe because he feared a girl he fancied had died.As you do, when you’re young and
Panic-stricken Benjamin Barton spent about 90 minutes scouring confidential records and even looking at bodies in a bizarre attempt to find out whether she was there.
He had fallen for Amy Ogdon, who he had met at a Christian Union meeting at Southampton University, but when he and mutual friends could not contact her, he feared the worst.Well, quite. It couldn’t have been that she was ignoring him, after all, could it?
I mean, he's clearly quite a catch...
Barton, who graduated with a first class degree in complexity science, admitted causing damage estimated to be between £6,000-£8,000.‘Complexity science’..?
He was placed under supervision for 12 months on the condition he continued receiving medical help for nine months and ordered to pay £1,000 compensation.That’s between £ 5,000 - £7,000 less than the damage he caused. That’ll teach him…
In mitigation at the city crown court, Nathan Rasiah said Barton, from Aldwick, had been an accomplished student who was described as quiet, studious, well mannered and trustworthy.I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies…
“In no way did he search the mortuary for gratification, He was labouring under the misapprehension that the girl he loved was dead. There was no menace, no violence was directed towards any person.’’
5 comments:
Why didn't I think of that? All those girls who ignored me and threw drinks over me in my late teens and early twenties hadn't gone off to hide in the toilets at all They'd all died!
Mental. Absolutely mental. This bloke will probably wind up presenting a prime time game show.
I dunno. I mean, the chap clearly is mentally ill, not a criminal as such, and maybe ought to be locked up for his own good (and ours).
Complexity Science
It's how I know that recursive climate models are bunk.
Breaking into mortuaries looking for a girlfriend? Happens all the time around here.
Sometimes they fight over the fresh ones.
"Why didn't I think of that? All those girls who ignored me and threw drinks over me in my late teens and early twenties hadn't gone off to hide in the toilets at all They'd all died!"
Heh!
"...maybe ought to be locked up for his own good (and ours)."
It'll take more than this for that to happen, I suspect...
"It's how I know that recursive climate models are bunk."
I didn't understand a word of it! But I look at who is pushing them, and what they stand to gain, to come to the same conclusion..
"Breaking into mortuaries looking for a girlfriend? Happens all the time around here.
Sometimes they fight over the fresh ones."
ROFL!
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