"My children enjoyed the rare taste of meat. "

Last week in London, celebrities including Dame Judi Dench, Ricky Gervais, Dame Joanna Lumley and Sir David Jason launched a petition demanding the Labour government help to starve small black children in Zimbabwe.

Whoops! No, sorry. Got that a bit wrong. Or...did I? 

Last week in London, celebrities including Dame Judi Dench, Ricky Gervais, Dame Joanna Lumley and Sir David Jason launched a petition demanding the Labour government help to stop the 'cruel sport' of trophy hunting in Africa.

They are, of course, outraged that small black children have meat to eat.  

Campfire leaders are emphatic in their support for the government cull. They told us that Zimbabwe cannot cope with so many elephants and is right to 'fight' pro-animal campaigners. 'The meat will save our people,' they added.

Resource Africa, an influential organisation representing the thousands in rural Zimbabwe and other southern African countries facing the 'elephant problem', said a recent UK poll backing the import bill was prompted by British ignorance and populist virtue signalling.

Hard to disagree, isn't it?  

Touche! But the sad truth is, these bunny-huggers, like Dame Judi Dench, Ricky Gervais, Dame Joanna Lumley and Sir David Jason would almost certainly demand stag shooting be stopped too, even as they tucked into venison fillets at the Dorchester...