This Is ‘A Major Incident’? Really?

A boy was suspended from primary school for a day for taking in a toy gun.

Stuart Thomson, ten, spent a day at home after he was excluded from Hazelmere Junior School in Hawthorn Avenue, Colchester.

A…what? A toy gun?

Well, maybe we are talking about one of those ultra-realistic looking weap…


Oh.

His mother, Samantha Patterson, of Laburnum Grove, Colchester, believes the school has overreacted to the toy, which fires foam “bullets”. She said: “He had it in his bag and did not fire it, but the headteacher said it was a major incident.

Christ, talk about hyperbole! What is she going to call a fight between pupils? A fire? A terrorist attack?

She seems to be an exceptionally dim woman, even by the usual standards of head teachers:

Headteacher Jenny Firth defended the decision saying no guns, not even toys, should be taken into school.

She said: “As a school we have a duty of care to the children and whatever type of gun it was, it should not have been taken to school.

“You don’t know how much damage could be done and we need to send the message it is unacceptable to bring it in. ”

Well, perhaps if you’d sent that message before, setting out what is and is not acceptable to bring to school, the kid wouldn’t have thought he could?

“There was an incident a few years ago when we thought there was a worse weapon and we did have to call police.

“Other children may have more real guns at home and if they bring them in, a child could have an eye taken out.”

We must think of the chiiiilllldreeeen!!!!!

There Goes The Neighbourhood, Eh?

A new police station in Accrington could be built on land next to a proposed £4million mosque.

How….handy… *snigger*

Central ward Coun Allah Dad said: “This land was reserved for a mosque. The committee and the community still want it there and there is a demand and a need for it.

“It was promised in 2009, the funding is there, but there have been delays. I think this is down to a lack of communication and a change in council control.

“We are waiting for an agreement to be put in place and I’m going to try and make sure it happens. ”

And you’ll be just delighted by the presence of a police station right next door, won’t you?

“We have only just found about the possible plans for a police station. People don’t want it there and we will campaign strongly against this. We are not against a police station, just the location. This land is reserved for the mosque.”

Terrible, isn’t it, when ‘undesirables’ move in and think they own the place, start throwing their weight around and making demands?

*schadenfreude levels….RISING*

And Just What Does ‘Almost Abstained’ Mean..?

Jason Taylor, defending, said the air rifle was not loaded – meaning it actually made louder bangs when it was fired.

He added: "It is hard to believe that a young man who is so pleasant has behaved so incredibly foolishly.

"He has been so shocked by his behaviour after consuming seven pints of cider that he has almost abstained from alcohol.

So now he just limits himself to six pints before playing loud music, getting his head handed to him by an aggrieved neighbour he assaulted and retaliating with a firearm?

"The chances of this man coming back before the court again are as low as you can imagine."

Oooh, I think not.

Judge Simon Darwall-Smith told Bryant, of Anchor Road, Kingswood, that his early guilty plea and lack of previous convictions had allowed him to suspend his prison term.

"I believe you have learned your lessons – one of which is to stop drinking cider," he said.

*sigh*

I Guess Videogames Do Cause Violence Sometimes…

The youngster told the court: “It was out of character for me and stupid. I shouldn’t really have done it.”

The court also heard he had been bullied at school, and would struggle to cope in prison. But he was hoping to go to university and pursue a career in art.

His mother told the court: “He is painfully shy and it does come across a little bit as arrogance. I’m really proud of him that he stayed in school and it’s quite a drop to go from looking at prospectuses to go to university, to being here today.

“I believe in him. It’s so out of character for him – he’s gentle and polite.”

Goodness me, so what did he do?

Oh, just armed home invasion, that’s all:

…he forced his way into a tower block flat armed with a knife.

The 17-year-old, from Leigh, targeted the home in Brecon flats, Salisbury Avenue, Westcliff, while the terrified householder was inside.

Keith Rylands, prosecuting, said the victim was accused of having the boy’s Xbox and this had led to the victim’s home being raided.

For once, the bench weren’t about to look favourably on him. Which makes me wonder what reports they saw…

… Ian Kirby, chairman of the bench, said they had no option but to send the boy to a young offenders’ institution for four months.

He told the boy’s parents: “I’m very sorry. We looked long and hard at the case of keeping him out, but this is just too serious.”

Well, well, well….

Oh, The Well Of Sympathy Has Run Dry. Again.

A prisoner who tried to smuggle crack cocaine worth £2million into Britain has complained about the “disgraceful” wages he receives at a prison in Sussex.

I think it’s disgraceful, too. I think it’s disgraceful he gets given any money at all!

Vincent Holyoake, previously of De Cham Road, St Leonards, is currently eight years into a 17-year sentence.

He is serving his sentence at Ford Prison near Arundel – where he said the wages he gets for working are lower than at most other prisons.

He said this makes it is (sic) impossible for him to visit his family on the train during days outside of prison or for “overnight release”.

Oh, boo hoo!

In a letter published in this month’s Inside Time magazine – for people serving sentences – Holyoake said: …here at Ford, a category D prison, the average weekly wage is £9.50.

“From that wage £1 per week is taken for the television which I have been paying for the past seven years, which leaves £8.50 per week out of which I have to maintain contact with family and friends on an overpriced phone system and make minimal purchases from an increasingly overpriced canteen.”

Welcome to the club, chum. Times are hard, inflation’s up, and we’re all paying through the nose for services.

The Ministry of Justice yesterday declined to comment.

Nobody from Ford Prison was available for comment.

Too busy laughing, probably.

The Unspeakable In Support Of The Unreleaseable…

Eve Ensler (in case you were wondering, the founder of ‘V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls’) goes to bat for one of the ‘Guardian’s’ hopeless causes:

Judith Clark, a 1960s radical and the getaway driver of the 1981 robbery of a Brinks truck in Nanuet, New York, was the subject of a controversial article this Sunday, looking at her transformation in prison, and sparking a debate about rehabilitation.

Sparking a debate amongst, I’d guess, the sort of people Eve Ensler hangs out with. I can’t imagine it being much of a topic of conversation around the average US breakfast table.

I met Judy in 1996 at Bedford Hills correctional facility in upstate New York when, for five years, she participated in a writing group I ran. The group was mainly for long-term inmates who had committed violent crimes; the purpose was to give them a place, and a creative process, where they could come to terms with their actions, and take responsibility for their crimes, through writing – confessions, dreams, rants, memories.

It was an incredibly arduous, emotional process and in that time I got a deep look into the women in my group. I witnessed their bravery, their fear, but mainly their hunger for honesty…

It’s almost like a parody of a CiF column, isn’t it?

I know few people in the outside world who would have survived the rigour and ferocity of their self-scrutiny.

Fancy that! I know few people who’d volunteer to drive the getaway car for a violent terrorist group…

If we call these places correctional facilities, we should be serious about rehabilitation. Yet instead of offering groups, methods and programs for prisoners to address their crimes, we merely recreate violent and inhumane environments – throwing people who have often suffered violence, poverty and degradation in the earliest parts of their lives into even greater cruelty, inhumanity and violence.

Judy Clark, however, has suffered none of those things, being the daughter of middle class American Communists.

Judy was sentenced to 75 years. She has already served 31. I believe she should be released now. She is a transformed person – kind, wise, moral, spiritual, devoted to others. I will stake my life that she will do good and not harm.

But you aren’t just staking your life, are you? You’re staking everyone else’s life.

I know there will be victims of her crimes who will be outraged by my support and sympathy for her.

There won’t, however, be anyone who is surprised by it…

Let's free Judy … and then I've got a long list of others.

And I bet they are all left-wing women.

Barmy Schemes In Southend – Pt II

A wireless internet network could be rigged up across Southend, giving residents access to the web in their homes, on the road and even on the beach.

Really? Is this the most pressing problem in Southend?

I think not…

Nigel Holdcroft, the Tory council leader, said: “I think this could be extremely good for the town in terms of the benefits it will bring.

“It is a brave move and it shows this council is a forward-thinker.”

Or a blue-sky, head-in-the-clouds thinker…

Who is going to pay for it?

While paid-up residents would be able to surf the entire internet, visitors to town may be given limited access to the council’s website or other tourist information to find their way around.

Don’t most smartphones already have plenty of apps for that? It’s not like the coverage on 3G is so poor down on the seafront either…

Utterly pointless.

Barmy Schemes In Southend – Pt I

Businessmen in Southend will be encouraged to use electric bikes to get around town.

Southend Council is piloting the innovative project after receiving a £12,000 handout from the Government.

Like the Government has any money…

Council bosses want to loan hi-tech bikes to firms whose employees will be urged to use them instead of their cars.

It is hoped the scheme will help ease car parking and traffic problems in the borough.

How many will this affect? Ten? Twenty? Just what effect is that likely to have on the traffic in Southend? I might as well pee off the end of the Pier and claim to be 'easing sea level problems'...

The E-bikes project is funded by the Government’s £1.04million Climate Change Skills Fund for the East of England, part of a nationwide effort to push local councils to become more environmentally aware.

Utterly pointless.

Just Build A Big Wall Around Croydon And Have Done With It!

Because I’m totally sick of the whinging self-pity and victimhood claims from the usual suspects:

A mini riot between school children armed with baseball bats and planks of wood ended with allegations of heavy handed treatment…

Well, yes, you’d think the baseball bats and planks of wood would guarantee th…

… from police officers.

Oh, FFS!

*throws computer across room*

Police were called to the Colonnades Leisure Park on Purley Way, on Monday, to reports of a fight involving up to 30 youths, some of whom were armed.

One schoolgirl was left with a black eye and swollen hands after allegedly being assaulted by police called to deal with the mass brawl.

Let me guess, she was ‘nothing to do with it’, she was ‘just walking along minding her own business’..?

She and other pupils who attend Harris Academy in Kendra Hall Road, Purley, have been suspended from the school pending the police enquiry.

And no doubt the racemongers and grievance-hustlers will turn their attention to this horrible injustice, just as soon as they’ve finished screaming at the police:

Her mother said: "The school have suspended all of the pupils that were arrested until the end of the police investigation. They were aware a gang from outside the area had come to the school as they contacted the police earlier in the day.

"Instead of finding out what happened they have just tarred everyone with the same brush and excluded them from school, they have exams but they have not mentioned homework. The police exercised their position of authority negatively, they showed no regard for the children. They just showed up and passed judgement."

No, they showed up to stop a gang fight and arrested people at the scene who gave them cause to do so.

A police spokeswoman said: "Initial reports suggested between 20 to 30 people were involved in the fight. While officers dealt with those arrested, a large group of around 50 youths attended the scene and became hostile towards the officers.

"Extra resources were deployed and the youths were encouraged to leave the scene. During the incident four police officers received minor injuries. "

A previous news article (actually, more its comments) tells the whole sorry story:

Lonelidimple says...

the police beat up anybody who was there, even innocent people were injured. A 15 year old girl falsely accused was punched in the face by a policeman multiple times. This is outrageous , police are corrupted. Should feel ashamed and need to publicly apologize for hurting those who were not even involved. Disgusting, and then they want respect.

Eh..?

No, they don’t want respect, they are entitled to respect, as the people called upon to sort out the chaotic lives of feral scum and protect the decent, law-abiding people in Croydon (assuming there are any left) from mobs of ‘schoolchildren’ who settle gang disputes with weapons in the street...

kwalker2009 says...

The thing is how can we come forward to tell the truth? the police and their brutality here are serious. The story started as what my son told me that there was a boy who was beaten up by another boy enough for the boy who got beaten up to go to the hospital. The boy's group of friends heard about it and gathered friends to get revenge. Waited for the responsible boy until end of the school day. they are equipped with rods, chain and different weapons their intention is to harm the responsible boy for their friend's being harmed. The boy who they are looking for heard about it and got scared and rushed to one of the food shop and the people in the shop helped him and locked the shop. Someone called the police enough for the group of kids to leave and the boy inside the shop left as well. The police came those kids who are responsible for disturbing the peace are gone! the police start frisking and accusing all the kids on the street and grabbed a girl who is trying to say something and punched her on the face 3 times and pushed down on the ground. then another kids was grabbed by the police and swing him next to the car strong enough to break the glass window. Now my son will not come forward as he is **** scared of how the police treated this people! the police were wrong here those kids they grabbed are not even the one who is responsible for the fights! why? because those poor kids are all BLACK??? where is the EQUALITY AND DIVERSITY here??? WHY BLACK PEOPLE ARE TREATED LIKE CRAP??? I AM NOT BLACK!!! THOSE POLICE ARE DEFINITELY attacking with RACISM!!!

So the gang-fight never materialised, yet there were all these totally innocent kids out on the street when the police arrived..?

Eh? Don't most innocent people, on witnessing a gang-fight, get the hell out of the area?

Wow! And here I thought ‘Oh, well, see, the ship listed, and I sort of fell into the lifeboat’ was the stupidest, lamest excuse I was going to hear this week!

Luckily, there are a few clear-headed adults in this comment thread:

Purleycalm says...

You need to protect your children by educating them and not teaching them to blame authority figures. The real criminals because that's what the problem kids are rely on people like yourself to mask the real issue which is poor parenting not poor policing. If you are worried where your child is then teach them to avoid trouble and not to spectate.

Spot on! That doesn't please them, as you'd expect:

kwalker2009 says...

Lonelidimple this is how simple it is...those people who commented badly with those kids are either police themselves trying to save their arses or they are RACIST!!! they don't see the sympathy for the poor children who are treated badly by the authority... very sad really! my son is in a trauma of not trusting the police he is so scared when he came home!!! witnessing such a scene with police brutality!!! It's just a pity really as not all police are the same! I remember the one who helped us with the burglar incident we had in our house, immediately they were here to help us, very kind and supportive!!! It just by chance the respondent to this incident in Purley Way are aggressive officers! My sympathy to those kids and to their parents who has to experienced this kind of treatment they don't deserved... :(

Gosh, how surprising that the demeanour of an officer in a suburban house, taking details of a burglary that the householder wants to give and so is welcoming to him, is different to the demeanour of a cop out on the streets as a result of an emergency call, trying to sort out which of the screaming, shouting, belligerent ‘children’ is an onlooker and which is a gang-member attempting to disguise his or her reason for being there…

Enough of this!

This is how riots start, when the police are too afraid of the mouthy minority with chips on their shoulders and victim complexes to do their job and protect people. This is why businesses are fleeing Croydon in droves, why decent, law-abiding people are leaving the area as soon as they can. And who can blame them?

You want your children to be able to behave as if you were in a Third World hellhole? Well, Heathrow’s that way – don’t let the door to the country hit you in the arse on the way out. You might find the police there a bit less than welcoming of your unruly offspring though. 'Rough treatment' is unlikely to be the most you'll have to complain about (not that the complaints system is quite so well developed, or state-funded, either).

Otherwise sit the f**k down, shut the f**k up and start to behave like a responsible human being and parent.

And take a good, long, hard look at your children, and ask yourselves just why they turned out the way they did...

Ex Libris: ‘The Jungle Book’

"It was seven o'clock of a very warm evening in the Seeonee hills when Father Wolf woke up from his day's rest, scratched himself, yawned, and spread out his paws one after the other to get rid of the sleepy feeling in their tips. Mother Wolf lay with her big gray nose dropped across her four tumbling, squealing cubs, and the moon shone into the mouth of the cave where they all lived."

The first time I read this book is sadly lost to fading memory. I probably had it read to me, long before I picked it up for myself.

But I do remember that it was just this edition I had (from the library, I’d imagine), a copy of which I managed to pick up at a boot sale last summer. The story entranced me, and I can still remember my disappointment on being taken to see the Disney version - this wasn't THE Jungle Book! This was a travesty!

Other film versions have come and gone (Korda's was a brave but ultimately unsuccessful try) and one can only imagine what today's CGI could achieve, but, inevitably, any such film would be subject to so much cutting of 'unsuitable' scenes (Mowgli's rescue from the Bandar-Log would be too bloody, the letting in of the Jungle scenes almost certainly too 'racist') that it would be ruined just as surely as the others.


I originally bought this version just for the nostalgia value, and for the wonderful illustrations by Stuart Tresilian, and because it was the book that I remembered reading (I have other editions lurking around, and thanks to e-readers, all out of copyright classic books are usually now available at the touch of a button).

But then a blogpost by Neal Asher, about the covers to classic books he’d read as a child, made me think about those books I had read that I do still occasionally pull out to read again.

So that’s the reason for this year’s series. To take a look back at some of the classic - and not so classic! - books I've read throughout the years.

Some are the original battered old paperbacks, some have been newly purchased via boot sales or eBay, but they are all books I treasure, for one reason or another.

There might be surprises ahead...