“What Are They Supposed To Use, Harsh Language?”

Staff at a child jail failed to intervene when teenage offenders staged a “kangaroo court” against another inmate, the chief inspector of prisons has disclosed.

Inmates at Cookham Wood in Kent were shouting aggressively at each other as they carried out the mock trial but their behaviour was not challenged by staff until inspectors insisted they should act.

Probably because they know full well that what meagre ‘punishments’ are available to them are mostly ineffective, thanks largely to your predecessor.

Nick Hardwick, the Chief Inspector of Prisons, said in a new report on the young offenders institution (YOI) that prison officers “regularly” failed to step in to crack down on bad behaviour.

Well, if you continually tell people that you regard these junior criminals as poor abused ‘children’ more in need of care and concern than punishment, what on earth do you expect?

Another Twisted Firestarter!

Fleming claimed she had bad memories associated with the flat and had started the fire “because I don’t like living there” .

Well, I hope you like jail, then, because that’s where you are going for three years about 18 months.

Psychology graduate Fleming, of no fixed address, pleaded guilty to arson being reckless as to whether life was endangered.

Do you have to be nuts to be a psychology student? It must seem so, sometimes…

Nicholas Ross, defending, told the court that Fleming is now “horrified” by what she did but the crime had been committed when she was unstable through long standing use of amphetamines.

Ah. My mistake. You just have to be stoned.

The State, Keeping You Safe, Citizen!

An Iranian man who threatened to behead members of the public was set free by authorities because they could not complete the paper work required to deport him.

Officials lost track of Noureden Mallaky-Soodmand, 41, who should have been sent back to Iran following arrests for carrying knives on the streets of London.

But because Iranian embassy officials could not issue travel documents, he was never deported and was simply re-housed 250 miles away in Stockton-on-Tees, a court has heard.

/facepalm

Julian Gaskin, mitigating, said Mallaky-Soodmand had been in custody and was moved to a deportation detention centre, but because the Iranian embassy was closed, he could not be deported so was simply rehoused in Stockton.

Errr, aren’t you supposed to be mitigating his behaviour, not explaining how the State screwed up?

Toughen Up, Princess!

A scared schoolgirl who was hit by a car in Northfleet is warning children of the "dangers" of crossing the road.

Wondering why ‘dangers’ is in inverted commas? Yeah. Me too.

The experience was both mentally and physically scarring for Nikita, who was signed off school until today.

She added: "It's hard for me to walk.

"I have got lacerations on my foot and the back of my shoes are ruined.

"I am really scared - I don't like the roads. "I want my mum to walk me to school now."

Oh, good grief! You’re eleven, not six!

Nikita said she walked cautiously but could not see past parked cars, and is now warning other kids to stay safe.

She added: "I want them to know about the dangers, because they could get hit like I did.

"Check both ways, or find someone else to look over. "Be careful - it only takes one step."

Yes, one step from between parked cars with limited visibility. Consider this a lesson learned, with – thankfully – no bones broken.

The concerned mum added: "Vale Road is not a road I would recommend any child to use, but unfortunately it's one of the roads children have to use.

"It's quite worrying when you know a young child is walking there or back."

Not if you’ve taught them how to cross the road it isn’t, no.

A Kent Police spokesman said: "Kent Police were called at 4.35pm to reports of a collision between a car and a pedestrian." No arrests were made.

Driver not at fault. QED.

Post Title Of The Month

I think I might just as well award this in perpetuity to Anna Raccoon's blog! Here's Petunia Winegum with the title to a post about that bloody photo...

Quote Of The Month

Battsby on that bloody photo and its inevitable consequences....

"We no longer have to assemble in garment-rending mobs to loudly and openly mourn though; now we have the internet to do it for us. And all it takes is a tiny little trigger to get the tears flowing and the high-pitched shrieks synchronising into a cacophony of awful, self-pitying, stream of demands for relief devoid of reason. The border numbers released a few weeks ago had over half the country demanding controls on immigration. Now, however, the pictures of Aylan Kurdi have flipped opinion among the weak who are now demanding we fling our doors wide. People who normally don’t care much about anything and can happily spend hours revelling in video violence have come out of the woodwork all weepy when confronted with images of things they don’t normally have to deal with. Where is the common sense, the level head?"

Post Of The Month

Catemoore blasts the Criminal Justice System over too hasty arrests...

Let’s Play Catch 22, Special Disability Edition!

First, complain when there’s no access:

The Press revealed last October that a number of city centre shop entrances were not conforming with the Disability Discrimination Act, which states stores should be accessible for all.

By going out with Laura Branigan, a mobility scooter user, we found one of the shops letting down their customers was Thomas the Baker, in Market Street.

The store's large step made it impossible for Ms Branigan to go inside and staff said they were unable to put a portable ramp in place because the building is Listed.

However, the York-based company has changed its policy and says it now has a portable ramp, and staff are trained to serve disabled customers at the entrance.

Hurrah!

Now, step 2, complain about the provision of access!

But the move has been met with a mixed response from disability groups in York, who still want more to be done.

Ms Branigan said: "This still emphasises the idea that you're different and they want to do something to help you.

"It's humiliating because it doesn't allow your full inclusion in society and treats you like a special case…"

Which you demonstrably are.

But hey, so long as you get to complain either way, I guess you’re happy.

You Mean Trendy Bullshit Doesn’t Produce Results..?

Shocked, I am, shocked…

A school which told pupils not to worry about exams has been given the lowest possible Ofsted rating after pupils told inspectors ‘No one minds if we don't do our best work’.

When headteacher Rachel Tomlinson took over Barrowford School, in Lancashire, seven years ago, the school was given a new motto - "learn to love, love to learn" - which she says represents their emphasis on learning to be a rounded person as well as following the national curriculum.

School policy states that 'a child is not to be defined as naughty. It should be explained to the child that they have made a wrong choice.'

*chuckles quietly*

Chris McGovern, himself a former head and chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, said "This school has used its pupils for an experiment and should hang its head in shame.

"Children and their parents have been led to believe that these child-centred teaching methods are the way forward but the fact is they are creating a generation of school leavers who are unemployable."

Well, agreed, but then, it’s not like top Ofsted-rated comps are doing all that much better in that regard, really…

Why, It’s Like* Being Marooned On A Desert Island..!

At least 20 out of 44 homes in Sunnyside Park, Ringwood have been without landlines and, for some, broadband after a devastating fire at a neighbouring home destroyed overhead cables on Wednesday, August 19.

Despite multiple phone calls and two visits from engineers, the line is yet to be repaired, leaving residents without mobile phones unable to communicate with the outside world.

Cut off! Marooned! OMG!

We aren’t, however, told what percentage of the 20 homes were lacking mobile phone coverage…

Resident Peter Jackson described his disbelief at the situation. “The amount of difficulty BT has put us through is unbelievable. I’ve received three texts from them saying the fault has been repaired when it hasn’t….”

Wait, hang on. You got texts?

Well, you’re not even one of those ‘totally cut off’ then, are you?

*Not at all like