A thief who stole lobster and ice cream from Marks & Spencer walked free yesterday after insisting he only took ‘essential’ items.Unlesss he’s a member of Parliament or a local council executive, who’s going to believe that?
Oh, wait, he’s not just a shoplifter, is he? He assaulted someone who tried to stop him.
Thomas was detained after shoving the guard and breaking his earpiece.Even for the magistrates, the notion of lobster and ice-cream being ‘essential foodstuff’ seemed hard to swallow:
Chairman of the bench Stevie Dee said: ‘Why lobster? It could be a sandwich if you’re that hungry.’
Jero Pipiazza, representing the defendant, replied: ‘The items were not luxury items – they were essentials.’Well, fair dos, M&S doesn’t sell sandwiches. They’re famous for that. I think…
Mr Pipiazza told the court Thomas was temporarily homeless and had not eaten for two days when the theft took place at around 6.30pm on July 23 this year.
He added that Thomas had previously studied cookery at Shoreditch College and was due to start an apprenticeship in 'cleaning and caretaking' at Hackney Council.You can get an apprenticeship in that now? Come to think of it, you need an apprenticeship in that now!?
Sentencing him Ms Dee told him: 'We're giving you a chance now.
'You have pleaded guilty at the first opportunity, cooperated with the police, and we are encouraged by your apprenticeship you are due to start.
'But we have to warn you that if you continue to offend the court will not be so lenient in the future.'
Thomas, of Hackney, East London, was sentenced to a £55 fine or a single day’s imprisonment, which was deemed already served, after admitting theft.*sigh*