Sunday 29 July 2012

You Think This Is Bad, Wait For The Plague Of Frogs!

Angry Oswaldtwistle residents said this week’s warmer weather had caused huge swarms of the insects to emerge from decaying rubbish illegally dumped at the former Nipa Laboratories site.
County and borough councillor Peter Britcliffe said last night’s meeting was ‘an important show of feeling’ and that people ‘wanted answers’.
Answers to what? ‘Dumped rubbish + hot weather = flies’. It’s not rocket science.
The Environment Agency is investigating how the material, some wrapped in black plastic, came to be dumped at the site in Nook Lane.
Well, why not simply remove it and continue your ‘investigation’ somewhere else?

The residents don’t really help themselves, though:
Annette Cairns, who lives in Stanhill Lane a few streets away from the site, said: “It’s a full blown plague. There are swarms of them just buzzing around trying to get in and they crawl on you when they do.
“Yesterday I burned myself badly with a cup of tea because one crawled onto me.”


Another New Lane resident Angela Fordham said… “It’s like that film The Birds - but with flies.”
*stifles giggle*
Some householders and businesses said the flies were proving resistant to spray fly killers and even professional electric grid flykillers.
Butcher John Whittaker at Whittaker’s in Union Road said: “We don’t spray anything obviously and we have two professional electric grids which are usually very effective. However these new small flies seem impervious to it and just dance around it and through it.”
They must be specially trained circus flies!
Annie Wheeler at Pound Plus Store said: “People are very unhappy. We’ve been getting a lot of carers in who are buying for the housebound people.
One man said he cared for a blind man who couldn’t see how many flies were in his house.”
Well…. *nonplussed*….if he couldn’t see them, they can’t have caused him much of a problem, could they?

It does give Councillor Britcliffe a chance to jump up and down and posture like a turkeycock, though:
Coun Britcliffe said urgent action was needed. He said: “The residents need to know immediately what is being done about this problem because they are battling it on a daily basis.
“We need to know what action is being taken, how the flies problem will be cleared and whether the waste is affecting the watercourses.
“I urge the authorities to answer the residents’ questions. I am being contacted by residents non stop who want advice on what to do.”
Oh, good grief man, they are just flies! Tell the residents to wait a few days and they will soon dissipate! 

Apart from removing the dumped waste, what else should ‘the authorities’ do? Provide a running commentary? Take out adverts in the local paper? Hire a van and loudhailer to patrol the streets?
Another meeting will be held tonight at Tricky’s pub, Thwaites Road, Oswaldtwistle tonight.
*rolls eyes*

How would we ever cope with another war, if this is the level of panic that a few flies can engender?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

They could exploit it - "Come to Oswaldtwattle - it's a buzz".

I refrain from referring to 'Aboriginal vibrators' because it is in bad taste.

Anonymous said...

I have the plague of frogs.

They are very sweet, but it's very difficult to walk across the garden for fear of treading on the tiny things.


Rose

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX One man said he cared for a blind man who couldn’t see how many flies were in his house.”

Well…. *nonplussed*….if he couldn’t see them, they can’t have caused him much of a problem, could they? XX

If you wanted a more perfect example of how the "racism" shouting industry works, you would have to go a long way to find better than those two sentences!

Furor Teutonicus said...

Or even "The Mail".

Anonymous said...

Here is what is needed:

http://imgur.com/a/axaFw/noscript

;-D

Anonymous said...

And here is the industrial version, that should keep the local kids occupied for a while: http://dvice.com/archives/2012/07/salt-shooting-s.php

The Filthy Engineer said...

They could have done the easy think with a copleof gallons of paraffin and a box of matches. Set light to it.

The Filthy Engineer said...

Sorry about the misspelling.

Anonymous said...

How would we ever cope with another war, if this is the level of panic that a few flies can engender?


Do you know something?

Dr Cromarty said...

I had the same thought engineer. Fly killing is quite a fun sport, likewise wasps though that's more dangerous.

Kids these days don't know how to enjoy themselves.

Lynne said...

Two years ago my home was suddenly plagued by flies. However, they weren't coming in from outside. Outside was relatively fly free.

Turns out that the bloke next door had hung himself two weeks before and everyone thought he'd gone on holiday. His house was full of flies which prompted my calling the police. The flies had hatched on the decomposing corpse and finally invaded my house via shared foundation cavities (the houses are semi-detached) when they reached sufficient numbers.

Now THAT is a serious ick factor. It took weeks and several deep cleans before I felt confident there was no contamination from the flies.

JuliaM said...

"...but it's very difficult to walk across the garden for fear of treading on the tiny things."

And they make a great excuse for not mowing the grass!

"And here is the industrial version, that should keep the local kids occupied for a while: "

WANT!!

"Now THAT is a serious ick factor."

Eeewwwwww!