A Ham Sandwich? You Might As Well Have A Mouthful Of Deadly Nightshade!

World Cancer Research Fund is the latest in the long line of NuPuritans anxious to ensure that no-one, anywhere, is having any fun or enjoying anything.

Because everything will kill you. Everything:

Ham sandwiches are given to thousands of children every day in packed lunches.

Many parents regard them as a healthy option. Now, however, parents are being urged not to put the sandwiches in their children's lunch boxes - because of the cancer risk.

What cancer link, you ask?

Ham, bacon and other types of processed meat raise the risk of bowel cancer over a lifetime, according to a cancer charity.

Note the weasel words - ‘raise the risk’. From what, to what? (Leg-Iron breaks it down for us, btw....)

They don’t say.

Giving sandwich fillers such as ham and salami to children means they get into habits that increase their risk of developing cancer later in life, it claims.

Ahh, right. It’s not so much the risk, per se, it’s that people might get into the habit of thinking that they can eat anything anytime they want and we can’t have that….

Scientists estimate that in the UK about 3,700 bowel cancer cases could be prevented if everyone ate less than 70grams of processed meat a week, which is roughly the equivalent of three rashers of bacon.

Only three rashers of bacon a week? Doesn’t sound like ‘living’ to me. Or anyone else.

Needless to say, this charity isn’t one that will be getting donations from me in the future, if it can afford to waste funds on employing a ‘children’s education manager’:

Marni Craze, children's education manager for the charity said: 'If children have processed meat in their lunch every day then over the course of a school year they will be eating quite a lot of it.

'It is better if children learn to view processed meat as an occasional treat if it is eaten at all.'

Welcome to the future, where a ham sandwich is classed as ‘a treat’.