Wednesday 18 August 2010

Of All The Excuses...

...this must be the worst ever:
A man drove at twice the speed limit and forced cars to swerve off the road because he thought the Spanish police were chasing him, a court heard yesterday.
Why, no, he wasn't in Spain at the time, actually...
Darren Keats, 38, of Colne Drive, Didcot, believed he was being pursued by the Spanish authorities because he had forgotten to take drugs to calm a psychiatric disorder.
Ah. Now it's becoming clearer.
Oxford Crown Court was told Keats made offensive gestures to a police car following him...
Yes, that's what you do to make sure that people don't chase you. He's mad, all right.

7 comments:

English Viking said...

Why is allowed to drive at all?

Having a dicky-ticker will earn you an instant 12 month suspension, so having a psychotic disorder that produces delusions/hallucination should surely warrant the withdrawal of the license too.

James Higham said...

What were the Spanish doing, surreptitiously dressing as police and pursuing law-abiding Brits?

blueknight said...

.. for some reason a slightly 'eccentric' woman did a 'ram raid'. on her own house. Luckily for the house, the garden wall took the brunt of it.
Later on I had occasion to visit her and she showed me into the front room. I was ready for anything, but I was still slightly surprised to see that someone had sprayed numbers on the wall in black paint.
'My new phone number' she said, 'so I don't forget it.'

Anonymous said...

I actually have a trauma related condition that has led me to 'black out' (I remain conscious, but almost entirely lose notions of time and what's going on). I sold my car some while back, partly because the incidents are too boring to merit mention and I might hurt people other than illusory images of Spanish police officers,language hoodlums demanding I eat butter or cheese with a multigrain bagel, or women who crash their car into my house and spray their phone numbers on my kitchen wall. Such interesting hallucinations as these might be harder to give up.

JuliaM said...

"Having a dicky-ticker will earn you an instant 12 month suspension, so having a psychotic disorder that produces delusions/hallucination should surely warrant the withdrawal of the license too."

It does seem a little unfair to only consider physical ailments, doesn't it?

"What were the Spanish doing, surreptitiously dressing as police and pursuing law-abiding Brits?"

Heh!

"I was ready for anything, but I was still slightly surprised to see that someone had sprayed numbers on the wall in black paint.
'My new phone number' she said, 'so I don't forget it.'"


Good lord!

"Such interesting hallucinations as these might be harder to give up."

Indeed! ;)

Dredd,Judge Joseph said...

Never mind this dickhead, Julia, have you seen THIS...!

West Midlands Police given 'sensible underwear' advice.

BBC News - Birmingham (source).

Staff are being advised not to wear their more unusual pants to work
West Midlands Police officers believe they have been given a bum deal by being asked to wear sensible underwear.
They were advised to choose pants of an "appropriate colour" on duty which were "inconspicuous" under uniforms.
Some staff have described the suggestions, which appeared on the police "message of the day" section on the force intranet, as "nannying".
The force said there was no new policy on underwear but officers had to take a "commonsense approach". Unbelievable!

JuliaM said...

"...have you seen THIS...!"

Oh, good grief!!