Saturday 31 December 2011

Dante's Little Known 10th Circle Of Hell: Staffordshire

Where the pub landlord has a four-legged bouncer:
Joanne Wallbanks, mitigating, said Fullerton is a "troubleshooter" in difficult pubs and worked hard to improve The Foaming Tankard.
Having your American Bulldog eat troublesome customers seems a strange way to achieve that...

Where the beautiful people gather to celebrate.... something:
Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court yesterday heard Rogers, pictured...
ARRRGH!!! My eyes!
Stuart Muldoon, mitigating, said Rogers, who has 24 convictions for 70 offences, accepted a custodial sentence was inevitable.

But he said Rogers had committed only one offence of theft since this assault last summer.
He's practically a saint!

Where chivalry went to die:
The 28-year-old also threw things at the windows of a house in Ladybank Grove, Blurton, and stamped on a family memorial before striking the woman on the arm with the sword.
He might have let her fetch her shield first...
Peter McCartney, defending said: “He knows he is going to custody. That night he had drunk too much and he is honest about the reason he embarked on this offence. He was seeking revenge.

“He has since learnt that the assault was not actually the case and he admits he makes a fool of himself in drink.

“He is genuinely sorry for what he has done. He accepts his behaviour was disgusting and he is highly embarrassed.

He takes this stance to allow everyone involved to move on.”
So noble! A true gentleman.

6 comments:

Schlumpf23_v2 said...

'Judge Styler added: "I hope you sober up and keep off drugs while in custody." Hahaha! That brought a smile to my face...

Captain Haddock said...

Ahhh .. Untermenschen .. the gift which keeps on giving ..

A salt and battered said...

"Dante's Little Known 10th Circle Of Hell: Staffordshire"

Little known? Surely that's the sphere of injustice and tyrant lawyer rule, now encompassing most of England.

Woman on a Raft said...

To be fair to Staffordshire, these cases all involve Stoke on Trent - even Blurton is only a short bus ride out of the shopping centre at Hanley.

As Stoke on Trent is a unitary authority and not under the county council, it would be like blaming Warwickshire for Birmingham.

Woodsy42 said...

Stoke on Trent, where this happened, is not representative of Staffordshire, it is more like the equivalent of a large wart on an otherwise attractive face.

JuliaM said...

"Hahaha! That brought a smile to my face..."

:D

"Ahhh .. Untermenschen .. the gift which keeps on giving .."

There's no shortage, seemingly.

"To be fair to Staffordshire, these cases all involve Stoke on Trent..."

Yeah, I just took them all from the 'This Is Staffordshire' news site.

"...it is more like the equivalent of a large wart on an otherwise attractive face."

Curiously, a wart seems to be the only thing missing from Mr Rogers...