You Know That Old Joke About Killing Your Parents & Pleading For Clemency Because You’re An Orphan..?

Well, turns out it really works, thanks to the sort of bewigged cretins we have on the benches these days:

A man whose pregnant partner was killed by their two pitbull-type dogs has been given a community order and told to do 280 hours of unpaid work.

…

Deputy district judge Tim Spruce told Horner the case "crossed the custody threshold" but said he felt it was not appropriate to jail him given the personal loss he had suffered with the death of his partner.

I guess there must have been other extenuating circumstances?

Prosecutor Vincent O'Malley told the court that two social workers had visited the house in July last year and Horner told one of them: "Shut it or I'll set the dog on you."

He said that Horner told the other social worker, who was eight months pregnant at the time: "What you looking at? Wait until I get the dog and see if you continue looking at me like that."

Oh, yes. This is a man who deserves clemency, all right. No wonder the judge was so lenient…

Sentencing, Spruce said the legislation was designed to protect the public from certain breeds, because "these animals are inclined to be unpredictable in nature and often with devastating consequences".

The district judge said: "That unpredictability, those consequences, could not be more solemnly illustrated than in the unique and tragic circumstances of the case before the court today. Two dogs with no previous recorded history of difficulty, danger or harm have set up their owner in circumstances which may never be entirely clear."

Exactly how have two brainless mutts ‘set up’ their owner?

He said he was satisfied the defendant did not know the dogs were banned but also that he made no effort to find out.

He said Horner was ambivalent to the possibility of the risk they posed.

Well, actually, I don’t think he was ambivalent – it seems he relished the risk they posed. At least to other people.