...which, in Essex, is a
lot easier than most places:
Father Christmas has branded Canvey High Street a ‘no go area’ after thugs pelted him with rocks as he was riding his sleigh.
Former councillor Colin Letchford, 70, led the annual lantern parade dressed as Santa driving a sleigh on behalf of the Friends of Concord Beach on Saturday.
What a lovely place...
The senseless act will now mean Canvey people will lose out as the sleigh will not return to the town centre as it has done in previous years.
Mr Letchford said: “This is just the latest in a long list of problems with the youngsters on the island.
“It is concerning, they are completely out of control.
“We have now said we will not be going back to the High Street with the sleigh, it is a no go area now.
“We do not feel safe there because of these menaces.
“Saturday night our sleigh led the lantern parade, and it was a fantastic event.
“We had a great evening, with thousands of people walking around the town to the Paddocks.
“But as we left the Paddocks and came around the corner about 15 kids starting throwing stones at us, and one of them hit me on the shoulder.
“It is such a shame because this is a community event.
“It has reached the stage that people are talking about vigilante groups so police must do something now.”
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
An Essex Police spokesman said: “We were called to a report of an assault shortly before 6.45pm on Saturday, December 2.
“A man has been hit by a stone thrown in Furtherwick Road, by a group of around 12 to 15 boys, aged between 12 and 16 years old.
“The victim was taking part in the Santa sleigh ride through Canvey and was uninjured.
“Officers attended the scene and searched the area for suspects.”
Did you try Thorney Bay Caravan Park? No? I wonder why not...
5 comments:
Ah - it wouldn't be Christmas without a festive tale from Canvey Island!
Stone-throwing at undeserving targets seems to be something of a local pastime - remember the lama-trekking business abandoned because the local youths amused themselves by pitching rocks at the unfortunate animals? It certainly suggests that Essex lad Douglas Adams didn't have to look far for inspiration:
'Billions of years ago, when the Vogons first crawled out of the primeval seas of Vogsphere, lay panting and heaving on the planet's virgin shores [..] it seemed as if the forces of evolution had simply given up on them then and there, turned aside in disgust and written them off as an ugly mistake. They would never evolve again.
The natural forces of Vogsphere worked overtime to make up for their blunder. They brought forth [...] elegant gazelle-like creatures with dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on (they were useless for transport because their backs snapped under the weight, but the Vogons sat on them anyway).'
Doesn’t that statement from the Essex police spokesman just burn with concern and urgency? You can almost feel him seething with civic outrage as he wonders if it’s time for hot chocolate back at the station...
Seven years ago in Manchester a bunch of travellers broke into a scrap yard. The police managed to avoid any confrontation. "Greater Manchester police,keystone cops" Here
Oops - just spotted typo above; for 'lama' read 'llama' (and, for anyone trying to follow this up, they were actually alpacas - when I go wrong, I really go wrong!).
(Freudian slip occasioned by reading about early surveyors of Karakoram mountains who evaded hostile locals by dressing as Buddhist priests and using prayer beads to measure distances by counting steps - I can't see that catching on in south Essex either.)
"Ah - it wouldn't be Christmas without a festive tale from Canvey Island!"
Ooooh, I feel the place will keep me in material throughout 2018!
"It certainly suggests that Essex lad Douglas Adams didn't have to look far for inspiration..."
We can be thankful the Canvey denizens haven't discovered poetry ;)
"Doesn’t that statement from the Essex police spokesman just burn with concern and urgency?"
The clue is in the words 'Essex' and 'Police', I fear...
"The police managed to avoid any confrontation."
They are astoundingly good at that. One might say it's their only talent.
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