A trio of female thieves - with 16 children between them - went shoplifting at Bluewater Shopping Centre where they swiped £2,500 worth of perfume.
Shoplifters, eh? Professions, eh? Large families, eh?
And when one of the shoplifters - who all identified themselves as Orthrodox Christian Roma women - was later asked why she had done it, she replied: "The devil possessed me!"
As expected. *sighs*
Maidstone Crown Court heard how the three had stashed 21 bottles of expensive perfume among four layers of skirts, with special pockets which were worn over trousers.
First offence? *laughs*
All three live in the Tottenham area in north London and have previous convictions for theft or going equipped to steal.
Each received jail sentences suspended for two years and were ordered to carry out 250 hours of unpaid work for the community.
It'd be funny if it wasn't such a headache for the retail industry.
The judge, Recorder Patricia Hitchcock QC told her: "You are clearly a regular shoplifter, but now that must stop. You said you had no intention of selling the perfume and that you are illiterate and you didn't know how valuable the perfume was.
"But you had 12 of the 21 bottles in pockets in your many layers of skirts. You were clearly going to sell them for profit."
The judge added that while she accepted that their religion and culture involved women wearing long skirts that didn't include special pockets and slits in the material.
Then put them where they belong, judge - behind bars!