Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Want Rights - Go To Prison!

Hard on the heels of the extraordinary news that Huntley may sue the prison authorities for not protecting him (top tip: want to avoid other criminals looking to kill you? Don't screw around with kids..) comes this story:
A Surrey prisoner who is addicted to smoking is seeking damages after he was denied tobacco for seven days for swearing at a prison officer.

Lawyers representing Jack Richard Foster claim he was subjected to "cruel and unusual punishment" by staff at HMP High Down in Banstead.
He claims he should have been given nicotine patches or gum to satisfy his cravings during the ban.

Meanwhile, over in Portsmouth:
An anti-smoking charity has called for Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn to be prosecuted for smoking a cigarette on stage on the first night of a tour.
*sigh*

I wonder how the geniuses that Angry Exile came across the other day would explain this..?

To Infinity...And Beyond!

The UK will formally launch its new space agency on Tuesday.
We're upping our space spending? In a recession? That can't be right!

Well, turns out it isn't:
Britain currently puts about £270m a year into civil space endeavours, most of it via the UK's membership of the European Space Agency (Esa).

This is not expected to change dramatically with the creation of an executive agency, especially with the government committed to cutting the public deficit.
Which has, presumably, been working well. So, why the need to set up yet another civil service drain on the public purse?
The hope, however, is that the reorganisation will bring more coherence to space policy...
In the same way that the Department of Transport has brought more coherence to transport policy, and NICE has brought more coherence to...

Ah.

Monday, 22 March 2010

When You Are Accosted By A Man Outside Debenhams Imploring You To Stop Coveting Your Neighbour's Ass...

...blame District judge David Cooper:
Mr Cooper dismissed the case, but warned any future complaints might land Mr Shaw back in court, facing a sentence.

He asked: “There are other sorts of ‘sins’. Do you think you could concentrate on those for a bit?”
Damn! Just as I was about to do some guilt-free idol worship, too...

Local Councils: Now, They Really Are Taking The...

...bio-fertiliser:
If you ever tempted to remonstrate with a drunken young man relieving himself by the side of the street late one night, be warned - he might just be doing his bit for the environment.

New 'wheelie bin urinals' are to be placed around a town which has been deluged by drinkers relieving themselves in the street.

The new breed of public toilets will allow men to urinate into a funnel that transfers the liquid into a compartment in the base where it is converted into bio-fertiliser.
Sounds great!

I'm sure drunken young men will be easily able, in the dead of night, to distinguish between this and any other bin.

Oh. Wait...

Class War...

...Labour feel you're never too young to get a taste of it:
A children's centre set up by Labour to provide care for local youngsters has been forced to close... because the families using it were judged too middle-class.
Nice going, Labour!

Summer's coming, you know. Want to send some goons out to the beaches, maybe kick over the sandcastles of any under-fives whose parents look a little too affluent as well?

Yes, under-fives. This government knows how to pick its targets...
Paint Pots Arts Club was established in 2000 under the Government’s flagship £7billion Sure Start scheme, with the aim of teaching under-fives to paint, draw and sing.

It is one of the busiest of Britain’s 3,500 Sure Start centres and caters for 500 children of all backgrounds who live within a two-mile radius.
Note that: '...caters for 500 children of all backgrounds...' Pretty unequivocal, no?

However, it seems someone didn't get that message:
The area covered by Paint Pots is one of the most diverse in the country, including deprived council estates and houses worth £1million.

Paint Pots director Ella Ritches said the Learning Trust, which runs 19 childcare centres on behalf of the Government, ordered her to target more deprived families in 2008.
So, she duly leafleted nearby estates held meetings with the local Turkish and Kurdish communities. They didn't bite.

And:
...in January this year, Mrs Ritches was called to a meeting with officials from the Ann Tayler Children’s Centre, a larger Sure Start programme which the Learning Trust used to fund Paint Pots.

She discovered that the Learning Trust had scanned the postcodes of all parents using the centre and decided the home addresses indicated users were not sufficiently ‘vulnerable’.
Ahh, now if only the guardians of educational achievement put that much ingenuity and hard work into, say, teaching the kiddiewinks to read, write and add up....

Stating The Bleedin' Obvious...

There was speculation last night that Huntley's attacker took his last chance to strike, knowing his blade would be discovered within hours. Police are investigating the incident.

The fact that he was also in the high-security prison suggests the attacker is himself guilty of an extremely serious crime.
Cheers for that, 'Mail'...

*boggle*

One regular member revealed that her other half likes to make pirate noises during sex.

She said: 'Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex - for example, 'Arr, matey'. The other one is 'Arr, the ship's a-dockin' and 'My lighthouse is tingling'.

'He is not a sailor by the way, and has no connection to seafaring folk.'
Thanks for clearing that up...

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Love Music Hate Racism...

...Somewhat Ambivalent About Violence:
Garry Shewan, the assistant chief constable of Greater Manchester Police, heaped criticism on the UAF and arrested its leader,Weyman Bennett. "Turning their anger on to police officers they acted with, at times, extreme violence, and their actions led to injuries to police officers, protesters and members of the public," he said. The police arrested 67 people, including Martin Smith, who runs the Love Music Hate Racism campaign.
Left wing blogs are rather silent on the Bolton demo.

Still, I'm sure it won't be long before Smirkin' Sunny Hundal puts something like this up on Pickled Politics, right?

Vale, Dr Crippen...

Sad news; after several years and many, many illuminating posts on the inner workings (and not-workings) of the NHS, the NHS Blog Doctor is retiring, and this blog wishes him well.

Enjoy retirement - you've certainly earned it.

Sunday Funnies

Explorers! Just early poiticians really...