I Can Haz Literacy, Plz?

*sigh*

Sunday Funnies

And we moan about a few potholes in the road...

I Guess You Aren't Keen On Everything 'Natural', Then, Robert?

Alongside the gratitude to the helpful person who points out your dog's offences you might allow yourself a tiny touch of resentment: did you have to? Just once, couldn't we all pretend this never happened? For however often you pick up the shit, however much you love your dog, the hideousness of the task does not diminish. However deep the lesson of good citizenship has sunk, to walk down the street with a sack of faeces in your hand, looking for that elusive next bin, is a humiliation.

Yes, this is the same idiot who only a few months ago was was extolling the 'virtues' of the wild nature of his unruly beast, and the awkward expectations that society places on ownership of such a creature.

The post was triggered by a report that the same sort of clueless, narcissistic and selfish dog-owners as himself were leaving bagged dog crap on Scottish beaches.

I join in the disgust at the bag dumpers who disfigure our beaches, but I feel compassion too. They have tried to do their bit, but at some point – why are we surprised? – shame and revulsion overcame altruism and willpower.

What a drama queen!

You should have a word with your fellow contributor, Robert. She could teach you a thing or two about adamant refusal to scoop the poop..

The 'Caring' Profession...

Receptionists at a GPs’ surgery refused to call one of eight doctors working there after an 84-year-old woman collapsed in agony in the waiting room, it was claimed today.

Shocking. Not surprising, though...

Prabhavati Kachra was close to passing out with chest pains and thought she was dying but her grandson said staff would not let him call 999 from their desk phone — citing concerns over patient confidentiality.

But one of them offered to send GPs an email, said Viral Padharia, a 33-year-old council worker.

Oh, good grief!

Mr Padharia said it had echoes of the Little Britain “computer says no” sketch. He said: “They were more keen on trying on their new earrings.”

Well, it seems no-one really wants to do their jobs any more. They'd rather you did all the heavy lifting instead. They'll just take the pay, thanks very much...

Mr Padharia, a father-of-one, said: “They said I would have to call 999 myself because I have all the details. But I told them my phone was in the car.”

He claims reception staff refused to let him call the ambulance from their desk phone and he was forced to get his mobile and ring 999.

Even the paramedics were a little bit surprised at this:

It was only after paramedics arrived that Mr Padharia said a GP appeared to understand what the commotion was about.

According to Mr Padharia, one paramedic told the GP as he examined Mrs Kachra on the reception room floor: “You should have been out here 10 minutes ago.”

And what does the NHS, that Wonder Of The World, have to say about this? Well, predictably, it's 'No report via official channels? Didn't happen...':

NHS North Central London said it had not received the family’s complaint, but was “concerned to hear” of their claims and urged them to call the PCT’s Patient Advice and Liaison Service.

Comments throw up two interesting wrinkles, though. First there's the 'I blame the Tories!' line:

Anonymous21 hours ago

Funny how the family found it easier to bring in the press than the local health authority, which confirms that the chaos and second class NHS service which was clearly signposted right up to the moment Lansley managed to get the NHS signed over to his rich backers.

This is just the beginning because the act does not officially start taking effect until mid-June.

And then there's the 'We should do something!' line:

Anonymous21 hours ago

These staff should be sacked.

It's yet another example of why it should become a criminal offense to fail to seek medical assistance for a person in need of it. I once thought it was needed only to jail hit-and-run drivers, but it's becoming apparent that the need is much wider.

Errr, no. It really isn't...

How Many More Feral ‘Families’ Do We Have In The UK?

The teenage mother of a baby which died after being found face down on a sofa is facing life in prison after being convicted of murdering a father-of-two.

The Sentinel can today reveal Sheree Smith was mum to Alfie, the baby at the centre of a serious case review earlier this year.

Smith, aged 19, of no fixed address, was yesterday found guilty of murdering Andreas Fantousi at Stafford Crown Court following a three-and-a-half week trial.

No alone, oh no. These creatures hunt in packs:

Michael Gordon, aged 22, who lived opposite Mr Fantousi and was Smith's boyfriend at the time of the incident, was found guilty of manslaughter by the jury on its sixth day of deliberations.

It took them that long?

Sophie Manning, aged 19, also of no fixed address, was found not guilty of murder or manslaughter.

Ricky Gregory, who lived with Gordon in Bond Street, will face a retrial next year after the jury failed to reach a verdict on the 23-year-old.

All four defendants, who had denied murder, were also convicted of violent disorder.

What a charming bunch!

Mr Fantousi, right, and his partner Natasha Maclean became involved in a row with the four defendants shortly after 10pm on November 22.

The 30-year-old suffered more than 20 injuries, caused by punches, kicks and stamps from the defendants.

And clearly, the news that this time she wasn’t getting away with it came as a bit of a shock:

Yesterday, Smith had to be stopped by security after trying to escape when it was announced she had been found guilty of murder by a majority of 10 to two.

And to think all those weepy posts in support of Gary MacKinnon lament the fact that the US makes defendants wear ‘demeaning’ leg chains…

Speaking after the trial, senior investigating officer DI Guy Titchener said: "This has been a very difficult and complicated case to investigate.

"What started as a verbal disagreement quickly escalated out of control and ultimately a man lost his life. I hope today's guilty verdicts bring some comfort to the family and friends of Mr Fantousi."

I doubt it. The trials aren’t all over yet, are they? And she’s only ‘facing’ life after all. There’s still time for the pussy pass to kick in!

But what about the baby case mentioned?

Alfie was just three months old when he stopped breathing after he had been lying with his sleeping father early last year. He was re-homed with specialist foster carers, but died five months later.

Police were called to several incidents of domestic violence and other disturbances in the months before the incident, but the parents were allowed to keep their son.

On one winter's night, Smith and Alfie were found by ambulance staff in the street and Alfie was taken to hospital. Smith also had a previous conviction for being drunk in charge of a child.

Now, please, someone tell me why a ‘family’ like this one is allowed to keep their child (until its untimely death) yet other families are pursued to the ends of the earth (OK, France, but still…)..?

Smith, Gordon and Manning were remanded in custody and will be sentenced on September 5.

One to watch.

Sounds Like The Solution Is In His Own Hands, Then...

Farah Rashid, defending, said: "He knows he finds it difficult to go out on Friday and Saturday evenings as he drinks and takes drugs and doesn't remember what he does."

Lovely!

And as a father of three already, he's clearly an asset to our society, isn't he?

Sorry, Chris, But 'Tolerance' Only Goes So Far...

The Alaska Airlines flight was scheduled to travel between Long Beach, California, and Vancouver, Canada.

But it was forced to land in Portland, Oregon, when the children, aged three and eight, refused to stay in their seats.

'Refused'? And....what did their parents do? I can imagine what mine would have done!

The children and their parents were kicked off the flight and met by police officers.

After being spoken to by officials, the family was allowed to continue its journey on another plane.

I bet they wore their seatbelts!

But there's always one bleeding heart, isn't there?

Chris Heistand, a passenger on the flight forced to set down in Portland, said he thought the captain's decision to boot the family off may have been an overreaction.

He told KATU News: 'I think we all need to have some sort of tolerance.

'Everybody's trying to get from point A to point B. We're all in the same boat in a sense - the same plane,

I think the problem is too much tolerance in the past, not too little now.

And airlines are getting a wee bit fed up with parents who are unable to control their children, quite rightly.

So expect more of this, not less.

No, No, Everyone Understands Tommie, All Right…

…in fact, only too well:

The dad of a teen who was named and shamed as an Asbo lout has claimed his son is simply "misunderstood".

Riiiiiight…

A court was told how Harwood had racially abused and attacked shopkeepers in Central Parade, hit golf balls at passers-by for kicks and threatened shoppers when they refused to buy cigarettes for him.

Not a lot to ‘misunderstand there, is there?

But his ‘father’ thinks otherwise:

The 50-year-old told the Advertiser: "I think it is unfair what has been said about Tommie, he is only young.

"He hasn't caused any problems for a year and I think we are being victimised by the police.

"It is annoying me that the police are being so persistent.

"I don't want people to think he is a lout. He is misunderstood.

"Tommie has been given his Asbo and now the police should leave him alone. He got in trouble, but all kids do that. It is only natural."

Is it? I certainly didn’t!

Some of my friends did, it’s true. Minor shoplifting, a bit of graffiti and on one occasion, a fight with another school that got out of hand.

But racial abuse, physical assault of strangers, adult strangers? Nope, never. Our parents would have given us hell for such…

Oh! I see the problem now.

Police say they have had to endure years of trouble from him, which started at the age of 12, but his father maintains the criticism is unfair.

He said: "It feels like we are being victimised.

"Tommie's mum Kerry has seven children, and they want to move her from where she lives, all because one of her children has behaved badly.

"That doesn't seem fair. All that would do is shift the problem elsewhere."

‘Tommie’s mum Kerry’. Not ‘my wife’, or even the more modern ‘my partner’. Says it all, eh?

Mr Harwood, who admits he has "had dealings with the police" himself in the past, added: "Children will get into trouble, every kid goes through this phase. I did when I was young, but I think it is just a phase.

"I think the police are doing a good job around here, but they need to leave Tommie alone now.

"He has been punished enough."

One could say that being born to a ‘father’ like this, and a mother clearly less fit to be termed that than an alley cat, is punishment, certainly…

Well, Maybe, But You Can't '**** Gravity', Eh, Shanice?

On her Facebook page while on the loose, the tearaway taunted them, saying 'Catch me if you can' and '**** the feds and **** the law'.

So much for the benefits of early release. Are you listening, Kenneth Clarke?

The 'Mail' and the local papers covering this are full of the usual illiterate screeds claiming 'she wuz more than a robber, innit?' and the sanctimonious castigating everyone for not showing respect and bewailing that fact that no matter what she had done, no-one deserves to fall from a 17th story window.

And on that last, I might have agreed, but then I read a little further on and saw this story.

And thought 'Actually, yes. Some people do...'

Unsociable Dogs, Underclass Scum Owners...

A guide dog who was just weeks from finishing her training might never get to work for the blind after an attack in Swindon town centre.

Grace was guiding her trainer, Philippa Davidson, of Devizes, through The Par-ade, Swindon, at 3.30pm on Tuesday of last week, when a Staffordshire Bull Terrier-type dog bit Grace’s face and held on for about 20 seconds.

No doubt (although there are no comments yet) there will be the usual clamour that this is 'demonising' the Staffie, but it's almost always these, isn't it?

And no, leash laws are no use. Are you listening, councils? Are you, people who think they have an answer due to their experiences?

Ms Davidson, who has worked for Guide Dogs for nearly 30 years, said: “There was a group of youngsters outside Greggs and I could see they had the dog on a lead. I thought ‘good’, but you are always aware.

“Grace was just doing her job going around them and as she got level this dog shot out from between their legs and grabbed Grace’s face.

“Grace was screaming and trying to pull back. The dog just hung on and it was causing Grace more and more stress. I made a fist and was hitting the other dog on the head. I used my feet as well.

“The young woman wasn’t doing anything other than holding the lead.”

And, of course, left the scene immediately her weapon dog was beaten off the guide dog by others. How very unsurprising...

Police have spoken to witnesses and are examining CCTV footage of the scene.

The other dog owner is described as female, blonde with her hair tied up and was wearing all white. Her dog had a white head and dark body.

Looks like just about any of Swindon's young female Greggs customers, I'll bet.