Oh, She’ll Stick Out Like A Sore Thumb In Westcliff…

The owner of the other dog was described as being a woman in her twenties and about 5ft 5in tall. She had shoulder-length black hair and was wearing a white vest and grey tracksuit bottoms.

Any witnesses to the incident, which took place at 4.40pm on Saturday, August 16, or anyone who can identify the woman should contact Pc Terry Wilson at Southend Police station on 101.

Sounds like they’ll have their work cut out for them if everyone does indeed report sightings of women matching that description…

Tune Time: "She's sound asleep and she's sweeter now than the wildest dream could have seen her..."

A-Ha were everywhere in the Eighties, and it's easy to see why.

Their biggest hit was probably 'Take On Me' (because it's astonishing video captured the imagination as much as the music) but this - 'Hunting High And Low' has always been my favourite:



It's probably down to that bizarre quasi-'Manimal' video and that haunting vocal.

Sometimes, There Really Are No Words..

"Even though the keepers now wear helmets, strap the ladders to the poles firmly and have permanent foot fixing points for the ladders, Barrow Borough Council wishes to stop us from feeding in this way as they claim it to be too dangerous for the staff," said the zoo statement.

Hmmm, maybe in the interests of providing 'stimulation' for the big cats, we could replace the food poles with a few live council officials?

Running Rings Around The Authorities…

In Scotland:

Travellers have established an illegal encampment — just metres from a “half empty” site designed specifically to house them. Five caravans have parked in a layby opposite the Balmuir Wood Traveller site at Tealing, which is not fully occupied. Gas canisters and other detritus are also scattered in the layby and locals are concerned as it is often used by bus companies to collect and drop off schoolchildren.

The resident added: “Angus Council has been contacted on four separate occasions and will provide no answers to this ongoing saga.

“Dundee City Council want nothing to do with it as it is not on their land, they say.”

An Angus Council spokesman said: “We are aware of this encampment and will continue to monitor the situation in line with our policies and procedures.”

In Yorkshire:

Martin Joyce, 42, who grew up in the area and whose mother lives nearby, said the council should have been more pro-active. “They know travellers arrive at this time of year so they should have been prepared,” he said. “They have left a big field wide open. “I know the travellers have to go somewhere but they don’t do themselves any favours when they leave a mess behind.”

Mum-of-two Becky Wood, 30, took her two children Lily, four, and 12-month-old Toby to the play area for the first time in two weeks.

“It’s been an absolute nightmare,” she said. “I saw them riding the quad bike and ripping up the field and rang the police but nothing happened.

“We have stayed away from the playground because it’s not safe. It’s the end of the school holidays now.”

Other residents reported that they saw the travellers smash through the gate. Another man, who asked not to be named, said: “They have forced entry so they should be turfed straight back out.

“The trouble is they know the law better than the lawyers. They know they have a week before the council goes to court and another week before they get evicted. It’s disgraceful.”

In Brighton:

The pair said: “Requests were made to the police and council to immediately move the caravans and cars.

“This was declined and councillors were advised by police that they believed the travellers would soon move on.

“It was suggested that no more would arrive because of the lack of facilities at the site.”

“Last night 20 more caravans and associated 4WDs were driven on to the Green. The elderly residents who live round the Green were disturbed into the early hours, with horns blaring and generators running.”

Odd To See The Police Supporting This, Isn’t It?

Ian Connolly, Community Speed Watch Coordinator for the partnership said: “We’re very pleased with the results so far from the pilot scheme in Crowle. The local volunteers there have already carried out a number of speed monitoring sessions and warning letters have been sent out to motorists who were exceeding the speed limit."

“The aim of the scheme is not to catch as many speeding drivers as possible, but to encourage them to drive within the speed limit.

Feedback from group members suggests that motorists visibly slow down when they see the volunteers by the roadside in high-visibility jackets, which is a positive effect in itself."

Funny. The police often fine people who perform the same ‘warning’ function.

Perhaps the hi-vis jacket makes all the difference?

Worst New Job Start EVER!

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

Ronan McCann, defending told Judge Patrick Eccles that Bowers had been out drinking with his new colleagues and had been suffering from “anxiety” because he wanted to impress them.

Hmmm. OK, maybe not:

Bowler, of Avondale Park Road, London, was spotted in the town's square taking off his trousers and throwing them into the road.

When police officers arrived and tried to restrain the extremely drunk 26-year-old he became violent and made attempts to escape.

Miss Saul said officers pepper sprayed Bowler but he continue to struggle and fight, telling them: “You are nothing, I could f****** kill you.”

She said during the altercation he left teeth marks on the head of Pc Matthew Morgan, drawing blood.

Eventually it took four officers to subdue Bowers, she added, who also spat at them and damaged a police van.

Unless he’s a wildlife cameraman, I doubt they’ll be impressed…

So, There Is A 'Big Society' After All,,,

On the seafront, traders took matters into their own hands to protect their businesses and prevent travellers from camping on car parks.

Well, the police will be happy they don't have to do anything again...

Peter Grubb, owner of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, decided to shut Shoebury Common car park himself after failing to reach anyone at Southend Council.

He said: “The travellers were going round and round trying to get on Shoebury Common.

“If I hadn’t been there to man the gates, we would have had an invasion at Shoebury.

“The council needs to look at its emergency procedures at the weekend because they are inadequate.”

Oh, but they do come out eventually...to harass you:

Martin Richardson, of the Happidrome, used his own padlocks to lock the height barriers, which prevent large vehicles from getting into Seaway Car Park.

He said: “Southend Council knew the travellers were due down there but the barriers were open, so I got four padlocks and fitted them on the height barriers. We have to protect our business.

“They caused thousands of pounds of damage last year.

“Seafront traders were parking their cars sideways in front of a broken bit of fence at the Inner London Group site, only for a council official to eventually turn up and tell us we were breaking the law.”

You couldn't make it up...

“The police handled it brilliantly, but how could the council have had no contingency plan?”

Did they? I see no reports of arrests.

You're Not Wrong, Georgina...

Georgina first contacted the RSCPA, but described them as “useless,” claiming they refused to help unless the dog was captured.

If you'd told them there was a camera crew on site, they'd have knocked you over in the rush to get there...

About Time We Put The Brakes On Brake…

Drivers should have eye tests every 10 years to prevent accidents on Bolton’s roads, according to an advanced driver.

Brake, the road safety charity, is calling on the government to make eye tests mandatory following the release of figures from Specsavers and RSA Insurance Group, which show nearly 20 per cent of people have put off visiting an optician when they noticed they had a vision problem.

And were these people all motorists?

Brake believes eye tests every 10 years would save the public purse £6.7 million annually by preventing crashes.

And fill the coffers of the likes of Specsavers, of course!

Julie Townsend, deputy chief executive, Brake, said: “Compulsory regular eyesight testing for drivers is a commonsense, lifesaving move. Clearly the public agrees that the government needs to act to tackle the alarming number of drivers taking a lax approach to their eyes.”

Does it? Where does the public get asked that question, Julie? Funny, I can’t see it anywhere in the report. 

Maybe I need my eyes tested?

There’s No Consideration For Any Of The Public, Mr Elsworth…

…it’s not just confined to businesses:

A restaurateur has called on police to be more considerate of local businesses when dealing with accidents on one of East Lancashire’s most notorious roads.

Karl Elsworth owns The Pack Restaurant and Bar, in Elton Road, which runs on to Grane Road, and said police close the entire road whenever there’s an accident or particularly bad weather — a move he says costs him trade.

The police won’t care – they aren’t liable, so they’ll ignore this, as they do with most other complaints from the people they inconvenience, loftily proclaiming that such overreaction is needed for ‘public safety’ (nor are they the only culprits in the overreaction stakes, as NickM points out) or ‘the investigation of a crime’.

A Lancashire Police spokesman said: “While police try to keep disruption to local residents and business owners to a minimum, road closures are put in place to ensure the safety of other road users and members of the public.

“When closures occur as a result of road traffic collisions, this is to allow a thorough investigation to take place.”

See..?