Must Have Been A Strange Experience For The Police...

A 29-year-old man helping police with inquiries into an alleged assault threatened to set two Alsatian dogs on them after they allowed him to go back into his home to collect some belongings.

...as it's usually the other way around!

An officer told Smith if the dogs attacked they would be tasered.

Which implies they had tasers with them. So this was no routine visit. Clearly, the chap has form for violence.

He was given a conditional discharge for four months and ordered to pay £85 costs and £20 victim surcharge.

What?! What was the excuse?

Gareth Price, defending, said his client had mental health difficulties and the two other men in the house acted as his carers.

*boggle*

H/T: Bucko via email

The Dog Presumably Did It For Free...

Josh Scouller, prosecuting, said Sheila Smith had stopped to speak to some people close to her Chippenham home in September last year when she was attacked. After seeing the brown dog she said something like 'hello there', he said, and leaned slightly forward, though did not bend over, and held out her right hand.

"All of a sudden the dog jumped up and bit her twice to the area of the mouth," he said. A lad called Kyle, who was about 19 or 20, shouted at the animal and took him inside and a few moments later Davidson got back.

And that's when the fun started!

She said the dog was not allowed out the front of the house until he was castrated adding "I have told them time and again: why do think my back garden is fenced off?", he said. Although she later denied saying that, giving evidence she accepted she had but that she meant she was worried the dog would run off, something it had never done.

Davidson then took Mrs Smith to the RUH in Bath where she had numerous stitches and injections to her badly cut lips. As a result of the bite the victim said she was in a great deal of pain and could not eat properly for a long time after.

She said she was particularly upset as Davidson's daughter Hayleigh, who was also there, told her 'You are only bleeding so much because you are old'.

What a lovely family!

Pamela Rose, defending, said the dog had now been castrated and had never attacked before or since. Debbie Connolly, an animal behaviourist who was a trainer BBC3 show Dog Borstal, said she had assessed the dog and said it showed no aggression. While she could not say any dog would never bite again, and it was a bit boisterous, a muzzle and lead would counter any risk he presented.

And the risk of chavs running free? What counters that?

Judge Robert Pawson, sitting with two magistrates, said "We have got real concerns about this dog but we are just persuaded, just persuaded, that the dog should not be destroyed immediately.

"There should be a contingency destruction order on the following basis: firstly Hugo is to be muzzled and on a lead at all times when he is outside the address to which the appellant lives, other than in the back garden.

Second he is not to be, when in public he should be under the supervision of someone aged 16 years or over."

They also reduced the suspended sentence from four months to two, retained the 160 hours of unpaid work and upped the compensation from £1,500 to £2,000.

Perhaps Pamela & Robert should have been made to house this 'safe' animal for a couple of weeks each?

Wait, How Many Do You Need,,?

I mean, two at the maximum, surely?

Or is it because of something you don't want to admit? Something about the demographic you need to target, and the way they react to anyone challenging them?

But no, far easier to whine about 'cuts', isn't it?

So, Where's The Weapon?

Aydin Eldeniz, 28, was found by dog walkers in Northlands Park, Pitsea, with a stab wound to the chest at about 5.20pm on Monday, December 18.

Despite paramedics best efforts, he was pronounced dead at the scene and police launched an investigation.

A murder investigation?

Well, yes. At first.

Essex Police initially launched a murder investigation but also said that they were considering the possibility that Mr Eldeniz stabbed himself.

So where's the weapon? If it's suicide, it'll still be in the victim, or at least, nearby.

What does the pathologist say?

Speaking to the Echo, his sister Ayla Kaygusuz said the family are desperate to find answers and paid tribute to the “gentle giant”.

She said: “We are disappointed as the police cannot make a decision regarding Aydin’s death.

“The pathology report was inconclusive and showed a 50/50 chance of murder or suicide. The body now hangs in limbo awaiting a second post mortem.

“He told me and other family members that “they” were after him and that he didn’t have much time left. Those were his exact words. He wouldn’t say any more because he said that it would put me and my baby in danger.”

Hmmm....

Ayla added: “Aydin had never had any mental health issues. He had never been on any medication. He had no gambling problems and no drug problems either.

“He was making plans for the future. He wanted to book a holiday for the summer and told me three weeks ago he wanted to teach my son how to drive when he grew up. Aydin was not suicidal.

“He was always smiling and was full of life. He loved cars and music. He was an amazing uncle to my son. He was my baby brother and he was everything to me. I loved him like he was my own and I miss hearing his voice.

“We are desperately seeking justice for what happened.”

If you weren't relying on the competence of Essex Police, you might just stand a chance...

Police have confirmed they are keeping an open mind and investigating a number of lines of enquiry.

One to watch.

Well, I Guess It Wouldn't Be Pie & Mash Or Jellied Eels...

A Brockley artist has created a unique fashion range that pays tribute to...

The Navel* College at Greenwich? The Royal Observatory? The historic parks?

...south London's love of the chicken shop.

 Oh...

Chicken Shop Clothing features T-shirts, sweaters and hoodies that are "a homage to fried chicken and growing up and living in London – the capital of the chicken shop.”

The garments are each emblazoned with the name of a town in a design inspired by chicken shops and their logos.

 How things have changed, indeed!

This is a great Christmas present to give someone this year - who wouldn't want to look stylish in chicken shop attire?

Who indeed..? Have you thought of making them out of Kevlar?

* D'oh! 'Naval' *shakes fist at autocorrect*

Happy New Year All!

And here's to 2018! May it be all we wish it to be...

Normal service will resume on Tuesday.

Absent Friends....

As we begin the countdown to slip out of 2017 and into a new year, and all that might bring, please raise a glass with me to those we have lost:

Captain Ranty (Blog now sadly gone dark)

Unenlightened Commentary

Anna Raccoon

Dracunculus, who lost his fight in the early months of this year.

Bystander, a sad loss to the world of profession-blogging.

Gone, but not forgotten.

Blogs going dark, for whom I fear the worst:

Peter Risdon, who hasn't posted since May or Tweeted since July. I know he was battling liver cancer. Peter, if you're out there, & just fed up with blogging, I wish you all the best.

"But Tarquin, I Don't Understand...."

"...it's a 4x4! It's supposed to allow us to ignore the laws of physics, surely?"

H/T: Shot_Fox via Twitter

Going Into 2018, The 'Mail' Won't Change...

...it'll still employ illiterates!

New Year Sunday Funnies...

I feel as if No 11 isn't really trying all that hard....