Looks Like Land Rover Has A New Model Out....

...well, that, or the Essex Police Facebook monkey can't spell 'Evoque', and which is more likely?

'Morrisons' Has A Strange Idea....

...about what their customers might want to put in their mouths....

Ooooh, matron!

Sunday Funnies...

I can't believe these haven't all featured in movies...

Oh, 'Guardian', Everyone Grows Up Sometime....

...even Morrisey:

Thirty years after the Smiths broke up, the 58-year-old’s reputation is in dire shape, and not for musical reasons. His albums are still well received and he remains a passionate live performer with enough diehard fans to fill stadiums. No, the problem is what he says.

*gasps* You mean, he's started to have opinions you don't agree with? Under the bus with him!

Ten years ago Morrissey was quoted in the NME as complaining about immigration: “Although I don’t have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears.”

So, something a lot of people outside the 'Guardian' offices would agree with?

He sued the magazine for defamation (“I abhor racism and oppression or cruelty of any kind”) and donated £28,000 to Love Music Hate Racism, but the case was settled and the quotes were never retracted. In 2010 he called the Chinese “a subspecies” due to their mistreatment of animals. In 2013 he said he nearly voted for Ukip and liked Nigel Farage “a great deal”. He has described Brexit to an Australian website as “magnificent”.

Fetch the sal volatile, quick!

Such comments have exhausted the patience of many longtime devotees with progressive political views.

I'm surprised to hear that, not least because 'patience' and 'progressive political views' aren't known to go together...

On the Etsy website you can buy a tote bag bearing the words: “Shut up, Morrissey!”

Well, of course you can. Because the answer to speech you don'y like is... errr....

“Now I find that he’s a sledgehammer provocateur who seems to have much in common with ‘paid to write spite’ columnists,” says the comedian, broadcaster and disillusioned fan Robin Ince.

“I was drawn to him because he was writing about humanity when I was young and trying to work out how to be a human. Now his view of humanity makes him a hard listen. The disappointment is my own fault. We elevate when we are young and then ignore the warning signs for years.”

Some might say you elevate when you are young and then you grow up and realise the old fogeys have a point. Unless, of course, you don't grow up.

A Vignette Of London Commuting Life...

A proposed ban on smelly food on New York’s subway has sparked calls among London’s commuters for similar action on the Underground.

Well, of course it has! Let's hear from a British cliche, shall we?

Geoff Marshall, a transport expert who twice broke the record for travelling to all Tube stations in the least time, said: “Hot food is a mega no-no. Don’t ever get on the Tube with hot food. It’s smelly and it makes a mess.

“I’ve had someone eat a burrito before opposite of me, chatting to a friend completely unaware of the mess he was making. And everytime a bit of his food dropped onto my foot I raised my leg and flicked it off. After about the tenth time, he finally noticed.”

Ten times? Try that on a US subway, you'd probably get shot after the second time!

Douglas McHugh, 44, hotel manager at St Ermin’s hotel in Westminster, said: “I would really appreciate if people didn’t eat hot food on the Tube.

“It’s the smell that gets to you. It shouldn’t be forced on anyone else. It’s the same in an office - you know, if you are trapped in an small, enclosed space it’s just horrible. I take a hard-line approach and I wouldn’t dream of doing it myself.”

Fine. But what makes you think that you get to dictate to others?

Harriet Orrell, 26, a journalist from Finchley added: “I definitely think there’s a line of social decency when it comes to eating stinky food on the tube.

“It can be really disrespectful. But that could be hot or cold so is there any point in a ban on just hot food?”

There's precious little that smells when it isn't hot, is there? Oh, apparently so!

Teacher Katie Stacey, 26, from Brixton, said: “I wonder if they do bring in a ban, how much it will actually change? Drinking alcohol is banned and lots of people still do it regularly.

“Personally I think the stink of that a cold tuna sandwich is worse than any hot food smell.”

Blimey, they should be employing Katie as a sniffer dog, not a teacher, if she's that sensitive...

But she does raise a good point. Without enforcement, any ban is doomed to fail. And more than a few are capable of seeing the potential downside:

Caroline Christie, 28, a writer from Stoke Newington, said: “It’s a good idea to limit smelly food on the Tube because it can be gross.

“The only trouble is I really don’t want to get a fine if I get caught with a cheeky kebab on the night tube home.”

Heh!

Dylan Rubens, 27, a teacher from Wood Green, added: “I’m not a big fan of eating hot food on the tube at all but sometimes it’s the only chance us busy Londoners get to eat.

“Instead of enjoying the meal I spend my time worrying about other people’s discerning looks - does my food smell too much? Do I eat like a monster?

“I end up waiting for a time when no one is looking to cram my food down quick. It’s no fun at all.”

Maybe someone should just ban commuters instead?

Why Indeed...?

One resident living close to the land, who asked not to be named, said: “I look out my window and I can see their children running around near the roads.

“Some look so young.

“The kids are loud and by the looks of it they are also leaving rubbish behind and dumping rubbish.”

A neighbour added: “I don’t understand - if people come to the seafront for car meets it’s all dealt with and stopped but this happens and nothing can be done.

“It baffles me how the law works.”

Travellers previously pitched up on the site last week, staying there for five days before moving on. It is not known if this is the same group.

One seafront visitor, who asked to remain anonymous, said: “If we parked illegally we would be clamped then towed.

“Why has this not happened to them?”

Well, anon, how long have you got?

She Was 83....

...so she really ought to have known the Green Cross Code:

Hugh Hunter, a resident of nearby Spencers Court said: “As the schools were leaving, the woman went to cross the road as thought the car was driving away.”

He feel that the safety of the elderly woman and children as they leave for school would be much greater if there was a larger police presence in and around Irvon Hill Road.

Wha..?

Mr Hunter said: “This would never have happened if we did have the police there. If the council decided to place a sign outside, no one would listen. We need more police or Community Support Officers in the area to check for the children and keep them safe.”

Oh, good lord! What are they supposed to do, help you all to cross the road?

Mr Hunter says that roads have been blocked by parents parking their cars before running in to pick up their children and even arguments have broken out over the business of the street.

He continued: “If someone would be there to monitor what is going on outside the school, it will keep the children and people like this woman safe.”

How did we ever get to the point of being so dependent on the state that we can't even cross the road without a state-appointed guardian?

I Think They Are Beyond Education, Frankly....

A victim of violent crime has helped set up a crowdfunding campaign to create a permanent tribute to knife crime victims in London.

Abdulrahman Musa-Johnson has joined other Southwark residents who are hoping to construct the Southwark Peace Garden, which they describe as a ‘bold, symbolic statement of the community’s commitment to action.’

Well, plays & candles have been tried with no effect, so why not?

...Mr Musa-Johnson describes how, after being set upon in an alleyway, he discovered his attackers were neighbours and decided something needed to be done to educate the young people in the area.

Educate them to do what, not shit on their own doorstep? Good luck with that...

Darwin Takes No Prisoners

Terry Hammond, 43, of Boscawen Gardens, Braintree was riding his black Yamaha motorbike in Church Road, Witham, on February 20 when he was overtaken by a white van. The van cut in sharply in front of the motorbike causing Hammond to brake to avoid a crash.

Hammond caught up to the van and rode on the other side of the road on a blind bend to talk to the van driver through the window.

A white Mercedes van was travelling in the other direction and collided with Hammond head on.

Hammond was filming the footage on his GoPro camera at the time so the whole incident was recorded. He was flown to Addenbrookes Hospital in Cambridge by air ambulance and suffered life-changing injuries.

All entirely due to his own stupidity...

Hammond originally pleaded not guilty at Colchester Magistrates’ Court and was given a date of Wednesday, July 5 to appear at Chelmsford Crown Court where he changed his plea to guilty.

Probably because his lawyer pointed out he'd filmed the entire thing!

He was given a three month community order with a residence condition for three months, disqualified from driving for 12 months with an extended retest to be taken and ordered to pay costs of £50.

Is that all? Did the courts just decide that sooner or later, he'll be writing his own death sentence?

Just When I Thought I Couldn't Admire Her More....

Margaret Thatcher intervened to overrule the home secretary and ensure that the Moors murderers, Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, were never released from prison, Downing Street papers have revealed.

Thatcher told Leon Brittan in February 1985 that his proposed minimum sentences of 30 years for Hindley and 40 years for Brady were too short.

“I do not think that either of these prisoners should ever be released from custody. Their crime was the most hideous and cruel in modern times,” she wrote on Brittan’s proposal.

...this comes along.