It's Almost English...

...but I think the word you were struggling to find was 'decrees'.

The 'Telegraph' Sub Editor Has A Mountain To Climb...

*sighs*

H/T: NMccarthy via email

Sunday Funnies...

So many people apparently asleep at the switch! 

It's Still Not Long Enough...

Well, the guilty verdict was no surprise, although you never can really tell these days...

A woman has been jailed for 11 years for killing a couple who were ‘twerking’ in the backseat of her car moments before it crashed. Adele Ojokie Aidonojie, 23, had been drinking alcohol and driving at nearly double the speed limit when she crashed her convertible Mini Cooper in Battersea, South London.

And the families of the victims are somewhat lacking in IQ points too: 

Following the verdict, the victims’ families expressed anger and sadness at the defendant’s behaviour. Ms Macharia’s mother said she had a ‘special bond’ with her daughter who was ‘one in a million’. She also disputed the defendant’s claim that the two were ‘best friends’, and said the pair had met just once before.

Probably should have sat down and put on a seatbelt then? 

Mr Boutjettif’s family described how he had stepped up at the age of 16 after the death of his father, going to college and training to become a gas engineer.

‘He was a very caring person who had love for everyone he met,’ they said.

But contempt for road safety laws? 

You Don't Need To Go To Africa To Get Threatened With Machetes...

...you've got a good chance of it happening at home, so why not stay here?

So far his efforts have raised £568,000 for charity, with a massive £217,000 of that having been donated over the last seven days as his loyal following spur him on to the finish line.

Which charity? 

He is fundraising for The Running Charity, which supports the mental health of young people with complex needs or who are homeless, and Sandblast which educates people about Sahrawi culture.

Well, good luck to him. 

They Can't Get The Three 'R's Right....

...so it's expecting a bit much for them to solve the Middle East conflict.

Schools in England are closing down legitimate debate about the Israel-Gaza conflict because teachers feel ill-equipped and are concerned about political impartiality, the government’s independent adviser on social cohesion has said.

I suppose teachers concerning themselves about political impartiality for once is a good thing, they've certainly never been too concerned before.  

Dame Sara Khan said that if schools continued to shut down debate they risked “fuelling further anger, hate and polarisation”. She said the conflict, which has prompted huge demonstrations by hundreds of thousands of pro-Palestinian protesters across London and elsewhere, has had a marked impact on schools, where pupils want to talk about events in Gaza.

 I'm not sure there can be further 'anger hate and polarisation' from the usual suspects who stink up London's streets every weekend. .

She also said teachers felt there was too little guidance on teaching controversial issues in personal, social, health and economic (PSHE) lessons and were worried about a lack of support from the Department for Education (DfE) when difficulties arose.

When 'difficulties arise' meaning this sort of thing that sparked this whole review? Then they don't get support from ANY part of the government, so why single out the DfE? 

The war in Gaza has caused a number of incidents in schools. In one case, Barclay primary school in Leyton, east London, sought help from the Metropolitan police to investigate threats to the school and abuse of staff after its decision to ban political symbols, including the Palestinian flag.

Seeking help from the Met Police is a bit like calling an arsonist to find out why your premises burned down. It's their lack of ability to stamp down hard on this fifth column we've stupidly let into our country that has lead to this state of affairs. Other police forces don't put up with it.  

Another teacher in an inner-city school, who also wished to remain anonymous, said it was a “massive failing” on the part of schools. “From the word go, we were told this was a political issue and we can’t discuss it. If we’re not talking about it, it does not mean that the kids are not interested. They know what’s going on. They are going online where there’s no control over what they are seeing.”

The kids aren't interested. It's their parents who are pushing this, kids being kids the world over and they'd probably prefer to be worrying about what fashions are in or out and the fortunes of their preferred football team. 

The NEU has been criticised over a motion to be discussed at its annual conference which expresses support for the Palestinian Solidarity Campaign (PSC) and brands Israel’s government “racist” and “guilty of apartheid policies”.

So, despite the teachers complaining that they get no support, they - or rather, their union - is actively fanning the flames? 

The motion, to be debated by delegates at the gathering in Bournemouth next week, calls on the executive to “publish and circulate educational resources that members can use to increase understanding of Palestine and Israel”.It also says Israel’s government is the main driver of the conflict and calls on the UK government to stop “being an enabler of Israel’s apartheid policies”, while an amendment says all attempts to clamp down on the right to protest and discuss the issue must be opposed.

Fuck off. And when you get there, fuck off again. You're not worried about 'impartiality' at all, you just want the opportinity to cheerlead for the wrong side.  

Why We Can No Longer Respect The Police...

Fab hair and nails, yass kween....but did you spend too long looking in the mirror and not enough looking at your job description?

Uk police quote of the year …”he’s breaking the law so what am I supposed to do “ . pic.twitter.com/MPmYp6X8o2

— karma (@karma44921039) April 11, 2024

The comments are priceless!  

H/T: Jeremy Starmouse via Twitter

Translating 'Guardian' Headlines

"Music reflects modern society"

Senior study author Eva Zangerle, an expert on recommendation systems at Austria’s University of Innsbruck, declined to single out an individual newer artist for having simple lyrics. But she emphasised that lyrics can be a “mirror of society” which reflect how a culture’s values, emotions and preoccupations change over time.

See? The obvious conclusion.  

For the study in the journal Scientific Reports, the researchers looked at the emotions expressed in lyrics, how many different and complicated words were used, and how often they were repeated. “Across all genres, lyrics had a tendency to become more simple and more repetitive,” Zangerle summarised. The results also confirmed previous research which had shown a decrease in positive, joyful lyrics over time and a rise in those that express anger, disgust or sadness.

There's precious little to be joyful about, so of course, song lyrics will reflect that. Good grief, the ridiculous things people are studying - presumably, for real money - never ceases to amaze me. 

The number of repeated lines rose most in rap over the decades, Zangerle said – adding that it obviously had the most lines to begin with. “Rap music has become more angry than the other genres,” she added.

Gosh. I wonder why a thuggish music genre would have been top of this particular chart. 

Once Again, I'm Relegated To Third Class Citizen...

Assaulting a shop worker will be made a separate criminal offence in England and Wales as part of a government response to a wave of retail crime.

So, assault me and it's dealt with under normal assault rules, but assault the lady stacking the shelves in Asda and ... it's somehow different and more of a crime? Why? 

Rishi Sunak said shops must be free from the threat of crime or abuse. The government previously said it did not think a law change was required or would be "most effective" in response to a petition on the subject.

And now it's changed it's mind. Obvioulsy they think it's a vote winner.  

There has been a long-running campaign - backed by several business leaders - to see violence against shop workers made a standalone offence. Helen Dickinson, chair of the British Retail Consortium, welcomed the announcement, saying "the voices of the three million people working in retail are finally being heard".

Three million votes on offer, eh? 

The new offence will carry a maximum sentence of six months in prison.

If activist judges don't fall for the defence's sob story, you mean? 

No, This Is Not 'A Lack Of Money Problem'...

...it's a 'lack of discipline problem':

...pause to consider the words of the new head of Ofsted, Martyn Oliver. In January, he talked about taking on wrecked schools when he was leader of an academy trust, including one in which students stopped staff, saying: “This is a no-go corridor, it belongs to the children.”

I very much doubt those were the exact words used. Almost certainly some thuggish demand voiced in a fake Jamaican patois (no matter the skin colour might have been as pasty-white as mine) that should have been slapped down hard at the time, not whined about in later interviews.

It is hard not to read this as a loud indictment of the political neglect of children and education under Tory governance.

On the contrary, it's pretty easy not to, I read it as a loud indictment of parent's failure to bring up their children to be decent, respectful members of society, probably because those parents aren't that themselves. 

Whether it is routinely being told to eff off by 11-year-olds or breaking up fights, this isn’t a problem that can be chalked up to individual teachers’ poor classroom management. These incidents, ranging from spitting to throwing chairs, lay bare the impact of years of chronic underfunding of essential children’s services, compounded by the Covid-19 pandemic.

Ah, the pandemic, the 2024 version of 'the dog ate my homework'.  

How does this result in disruptive behaviour within classrooms?

How indeed, Lola? 

The absence of support from social or youth services exposes children to unsafe environments, at home and in their communities.

Yes, these children would be decent members of society if only there were youth clubs on their doorstep. It's a familar refrain. 

The continued refrain that a Labour government won’t “turn on the spending taps” may be meant to resonate with voters concerned about fiscal responsibility, but it rings alarm bells for those of us at the frontline of this crisis.

 Why? Surely you are smarter than to believe that campaign promises will be upheld?

The question facing our next government is whether to continue the cycle of neglect or embrace a different future for our children – one in which bromides about how we value them and their potential is backed up with money spent.

You could stop by seeing them as 'our children' and focussing on why parents are raising their children to behave like this. But that would mean looking in a mirror, wouldn't it?