All Britain's 11million cats would have to be microchipped under Government plans.The modern Tory Party will safeguard your pussy, citizen! Whether you like it or not...
Now, don't get me wrong, I have three indoor-only cats and one occasionally-outdoor cat, and they are all chipped. Because why not? It provides peace of mind.
But to enforce it on everyone? Madness! Nor is it the only whacky bunny-hugger idea:
The plan is one of a range of animal welfare measures to be put forward at the Conservative Party conference today.
A ban on keeping monkeys as pets and stopping live exports of farm animals for slaughter are also on the cards.
Hunters will be banned from importing endangered animals shot overseas – a measure promoted by Boris Johnson's girlfriend, Carrie Symonds.See, the modern Tory Party will even safeguard dead animals! How about that!
David Bowles of the RSPCA said mandatory microchipping was a positive step, even if enforcement could be difficult.Horses should be all microchipped and tattooed - why not start with them, before moving on to cats. Is it because you know damned well where all the unchipped ones are?
But you'll be turning up mob-handed at 89 year old Mrs Smith's door to make sure her little tabby complies with government regulations, I'll bet...
At this stage, as DumbJon nevers tires of pointing out, just what makes this Conservative Party in any way, shape or form conservative..?