More than 1,000 people who should have been self-isolating after entering the UK from abroad could not be traced by the police, the figures showed.
Officers calling to carry out checks found 380 people had given the wrong address so they could not be found, and another 629 were out when officers attended and so also faced no further police action.
If they were out, then...they weren't 'self-isolating', were they? And didn't it occur to the police to go back another time?
This little nugget appears that the end of an article on Merseyside top cop vowing to crack down on Christmas parties if only enough people will snitch on their neighbours.
You really couldn't make it up, could you?